Whatsssssss!!!!!!!!!????

Tangu ni nunue blender maisha yamekuwa shwari! Ile kitu inanibamba nayo sana ni nikitaka kupika uji asubuhi naweka maji ya moto then natupia ugali wa jana hapo ndani.then drrrrrrrrrrr
UJI TUNAO HATUNA.!??[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Jamaa mmoja kakodi tax akiwa anatembea katika jiji mara akapita gest moja akamuona mkewe akiingia ndani ya gesti, jamaa akamwambia dereva simama, jee? unataka laki tatu za chap chap? dereva akajibu ndio, jamaa akamwambia nenda mle gesti kamtoe mke wangu picha yake hii hapa, tena uwe unampiga ngumi, mateke, vichwa, makofi mpaka ufike nae hapa, dereva kaingia ile kutoka anakuja na mwanamke mwingine na kichapo kinaendelea, Jamaa kaduwaa na kusema we vipi mbona huyo sio yeye? Dereva akajibu huyu mke wangu, subiri nitakwenda kumtoa wa kwako pia[emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28]

Demu: Mambo
Demu: Nna mimba
Boy: Unasemaje? Si tulitumia condom
Demu : Kwani nimesema ni mimba yako?
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

supermarket said:

Juzi nilisinziaa kanisani mara nkasikia jirani yangu ananimbia pembenii!mpendwa amkaa!!Nikasikiaa na mchungajii uko!! NYANYUKAA!!nikasimaama watu wakapigaa makofi[emoji122][emoji122][emoji122]
mchungaji😱ooh asanteh sana haya mwinginee anaetoaa million 2 kama mchangoo wa shughul za kanisaa??[emoji15][emoji15]
my frend nilizimiaa ndo nimeshtuka sasa hivi

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DULLY : - Ugali shilingi ngapi.!

MAMA LISHE: - Ugali mkubwa 1000/= Mdogo 700/= ugali wa jana 400/=

DULLY: - Nifungie mikubwa miwili ntakuja kuchukua kesho.

MAMA LISHE: - Nyoo. [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Chizi kakaa ukingoni mwa bahari analia kwa masikitiko na huku kakamata kijiko cha chai. Mwezake akamuuliza mbona unalia mwenzangu. Chizi akajibu nimetia vijiko vitatu vya sukari baharini, kila nikionja bado ina chumvi. Mwenzake akacheka sanaaaaaa akamwambia. Hujakoroga!!!![emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Mgonjwa: doctor ninatatizo la kusahau sahu kila mda
Doctor: hilo tatizo lilianza lini?
Mgonjwa: tatizo gani..?[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Kuna mtoto wa jirani ananibore sana kila nkimtuma kitu dukani lazima aonje, Jana nlimtuma sukari akala yote..

Sasa nmemtuma superglue haongei[emoji13] [emoji13]

UKO SINGLE NA SIMU YAKO NOKIA YA TOCHI NA BADO UMEWEKA PASSWORD NA PIN CODE...UNAFICHA NINI?? GEMU LA NYOKA AU??[emoji23] [emoji23]

supermarket said:

Madem mnavaa earings kwa masikio, mapua, ulimi, kitovu, sijui kwa uso.manecklaces ka mia mbili bangili mikononi handbag nayo ina makorokoro elfu2..sasa itokee ujikwae udondoke unatoa sauti kama kabati la vyombo limedondoka [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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binafsi hua namuogopa sana mwanamke ambae haombi ela hua simuelewi anataka nini kwasababu akisema anataka mapenzi tu najua uongo

ni sawa na shetani akwambie bwana yesu asifiwe unashindwa kuelewa uitikie amen au ukemee[emoji125] [emoji125]

Nakumbuka kipindi tupo Sunday school mwalimu akatuuliza nani anataka kwenda mbinguni wote wakanyoosha nikabaki mm tu aliponiuliza kwa nini sijanyoosha nikamwambia Mama kanambia nikitoka kanisani nisiende popote ninyooshe nyumbani. [emoji12] [emoji12]

Kuna watu wachoyo sijapata kuona...

_Nimepita kwa rafiki yangu nikakuta kabandika maji ya kusongea ugali yanachemka pembeni kuna unga na mwiko ila aliponiona uwezi amin ameyapoza kaenda kuoga dah[emoji1] [emoji1]

Mdada: Hivi uliisoma ile meseji nilokutumia jana?
Mkaka: Ile uliyoniomba laki moja?
Mdada: Ndio[emoji4]
Mkaka: Bado sijaisoma [emoji15] [emoji15]

DEMU wangu wa zamani leo kanitumia VIDEO ya ngono akiwa na mpenzi wake ili mm nione
WIVU na mimi nimemtumia BABA yake[emoji13] [emoji13]
sipendi ujinga mimi

Kuna jamaa kwenye daladala hapa, alikuwa anaongea na simu

"Haloo leo sitaweza Kuja nimepanda gari moja na mmeo"

Unaambiwa wanaume wote wenye wake wamemng'ang'ania aoneshe hiyo namba aliyokuwa anaongea nayo. [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

supermarket said:

BABA: we ulisema NECTA umepata ngapi?

MPONJI: One ya 9

BABA: Mi mbona nimeangalia hapa kwenye simu nimekuta three ya 15?

MPONJI: Hzo point 6 wamekata TRA kama VAT.

BABA : Pumbavuuuuu mkubwa ww[emoji15]

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Jana nilipanda daladala basi ile kaka yenu nikawa nimejiachia kuchati, kuna jamaa akawa anasoma msg zangu bila aibu yani anafutilia ninavyochati...

Basi nikasema ngoja nimtie Adabu.. Nikaamua nimtext jamaa "Oya Alex ngoja nilipue hii daladala muda ushafika" Yule jamaa akajirusha dirishani[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

supermarket said:

Tangu ni nunue blender maisha yamekuwa shwari! Ile kitu inanibamba nayo sana ni nikitaka kupika uji asubuhi naweka maji ya moto then natupia ugali wa jana hapo ndani.then drrrrrrrrrrr
UJI TUNAO HATUNA.!??[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Mwalimu wa USAFI kakuta darasa chafu akauliza

MWALIMU : zamu ya nani Leo?

WANAFUNZI : zamu ya MANFONGO.[emoji125]