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- Dec 11, 2011
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Why are sexual harassment victims still questioning their clothing choices? (Photo: Getty Images)
If it were socially acceptable to wear anything, what would you wear?
That’s what one woman, who was shamed for wearing a pencil skirt to work, wants to know. The question was recently posted on Quora by a woman named Pia Sari, who wrote, “I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal to see a girl wearing a pencil skirt. However in my experience, it does. I was once wearing pencil skirt to work. Little did I know that it would somehow bring me trouble.”
She added, “Since the beginning of the day, I can’t say how many eyes were staring at me, not to mention my ass. I even got tons of comments from co-workers (particularly men) saying that I’m seductive and looking sexy and have a nice butt.”
“I don’t know if this can be categorized as sexual harassment as I didn’t feel comfortable with it,” she wrote, “but I found myself crying in the office toilet realizing that I can’t even wear pencil skirt without comments from guys and glowering from girls.”
She concluded with a plea: “I just want to wear pencil skirt, guys. Just a pencil skirt.”
Women’s wardrobes are often cited as the cause of sexual crimes, from an Indian politician blaming a mass molestation on women wearing “Western clothing” to a Canadian police officer telling a group of law students, “Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized,” and Donna Karan associating women’s clothing with the [HASHTAG]#MeToo[/HASHTAG] movement. “Look at everything all over the world today and how women are dressing and what they are asking by just presenting themselves the way they do,” she told the Daily Mail in October. “What are they asking for? Trouble.”
Women also receive this message from a young age — across the country, teens are pushing back against the notion that school dress codes are necessary to divert male attention.
So it’s not too surprising that some women who are victims of harassment or other types of sex crimes second-guess their clothing, or in Sari’s case: “Little did I know that [the skirt] would somehow bring me trouble.”
The notion of “victim-blaming” was studied back in 1966, when two behavioral scientists at the University of Kentucky, Melvin Lerner and Carolyn H. Simmons, published groundbreaking research on the need for humans to live in a “just world” by rationalizing that victims, even their own, were somehow deserving of their circumstances.
Per the study, “It seems obvious that most people cannot afford, for the sake of their own sanity, to believe in a world governed by a schedule of random reinforcements. To maintain the belief that there is an appropriate fit between effort and outcome, the person must construe this as a relatively ‘objective’ belief—one that applies to everyone (Festinger, 19S4). If this is true, then the person who sees suffering or misfortune will be motivated to believe that the unfortunate victim in some sense merited his fate.”
In the same vein, if we can point to controllable, outside factors (such as a skirt) as the reason for her assault, it makes us feel safer.
“We often see this with rape victims — often the first question they’ll ask is, ‘Why me?’ It stems from the human need to find an explanation for injustice and distance themselves from the feeling that life is random,” Sandra Shullman, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in harassment and hostile work environments, tells Yahoo Lifestyle.
“Women’s wardrobes have long been used as an excuse for sex crimes. However, when you look at the data on why people rape, that doesn’t hold up,” she says. “One study showed that rapists stated clothing as the reason for their crimes but their victims were wearing a range of outfits from revealing to snowsuits. These are arguments to transfer the responsibility of control and power from the perpetrator to the victim.”
When it comes to sex crimes, Shullman says, “clothing just doesn’t matter.”
If a nicely shaped woman wearing form fitting clothes walks in the room, I'm going to look at her. I wouldn't think of saying anything to her, but I will certainly admire the view. If that is now considered harassment, then I'm guilty and will be guilty in the future. If that offends you, I'm sorry, but I am a normal male responding how every other normal male will.
Fact, what we wear does create thoughts about us among others, Yes we can easily be sexuality excited by how another dresses. To say otherwise is just telling a lie. For some that that happens very easily and often, (teen boys) especially.
Outfits can create mischief and good or bad reactions, surely, that is just common sense, but dont think they have much of a role in abuse and criminal acts, that is much more based on the criminal motivations, not the other person.
if sexual harassment means unwanted flirting or 'touching', then yes, clothing can make a difference. Why do we pretend it doesn't? After all there is a reason we dress one way at work and one way at the club, because of different intentions. Most wouldn't think a three piece suit would get them flirted with at a club. So why think that what someone might wear to be flirted with at a club wont have the same impact at the office? YES? Clothing makes a difference in the impression you make. Why don't we wear joggers to job interviews? Because the impression given by that choice of clothes. Women are not victims just because we need to be aware of what our clothes are saying to others. When it comes to crime, clothes don't matter. But when it comes to what mere unwanted advances, which are not criminal, but a fact of life,, clothes do matter. Clothes send a message to others, whoever is wearing them, whether we like it or not.
its only harassment when the guy she does not want the attention from comments on how nice she looks. when its the guy she wants to seduce she is happy for the complement. why the double standard?
My mama taught me the guideline of wearing clothes that showed that I was a woman, but also a lady. If one isn't sure, then err on the side of bwing a lady. Men frequently told me I looked nice, which I took as the compliment it was meant to be. There were a few jerks who made lewd comments, but since I had carefully considered the image I was projecting, I knew it was their fault, not mine. And if a man had mislaid a hand on me, I would have decked him. It's really just common sense: to think about one's image, to not overreact to a compliment or underreact to groping or other assault. Unfortunately, common sense isn't very common anymore.
There is no rule that I can't walk down Martin Luther King Jr. Drive at 1 am counting my money, but I assure you that it would be directly related to my mugging.
Don't advertise what isn't for sale. And if you do advertise, be ready for an offer. Common sense people.
There is a reason why some of the safest schools out there all have uniforms.
Don't advertise the goods unless your seeking shoppers .
If it were socially acceptable to wear anything, what would you wear?
That’s what one woman, who was shamed for wearing a pencil skirt to work, wants to know. The question was recently posted on Quora by a woman named Pia Sari, who wrote, “I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal to see a girl wearing a pencil skirt. However in my experience, it does. I was once wearing pencil skirt to work. Little did I know that it would somehow bring me trouble.”
She added, “Since the beginning of the day, I can’t say how many eyes were staring at me, not to mention my ass. I even got tons of comments from co-workers (particularly men) saying that I’m seductive and looking sexy and have a nice butt.”
“I don’t know if this can be categorized as sexual harassment as I didn’t feel comfortable with it,” she wrote, “but I found myself crying in the office toilet realizing that I can’t even wear pencil skirt without comments from guys and glowering from girls.”
She concluded with a plea: “I just want to wear pencil skirt, guys. Just a pencil skirt.”
Women’s wardrobes are often cited as the cause of sexual crimes, from an Indian politician blaming a mass molestation on women wearing “Western clothing” to a Canadian police officer telling a group of law students, “Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized,” and Donna Karan associating women’s clothing with the [HASHTAG]#MeToo[/HASHTAG] movement. “Look at everything all over the world today and how women are dressing and what they are asking by just presenting themselves the way they do,” she told the Daily Mail in October. “What are they asking for? Trouble.”
Women also receive this message from a young age — across the country, teens are pushing back against the notion that school dress codes are necessary to divert male attention.
So it’s not too surprising that some women who are victims of harassment or other types of sex crimes second-guess their clothing, or in Sari’s case: “Little did I know that [the skirt] would somehow bring me trouble.”
The notion of “victim-blaming” was studied back in 1966, when two behavioral scientists at the University of Kentucky, Melvin Lerner and Carolyn H. Simmons, published groundbreaking research on the need for humans to live in a “just world” by rationalizing that victims, even their own, were somehow deserving of their circumstances.
Per the study, “It seems obvious that most people cannot afford, for the sake of their own sanity, to believe in a world governed by a schedule of random reinforcements. To maintain the belief that there is an appropriate fit between effort and outcome, the person must construe this as a relatively ‘objective’ belief—one that applies to everyone (Festinger, 19S4). If this is true, then the person who sees suffering or misfortune will be motivated to believe that the unfortunate victim in some sense merited his fate.”
In the same vein, if we can point to controllable, outside factors (such as a skirt) as the reason for her assault, it makes us feel safer.
“We often see this with rape victims — often the first question they’ll ask is, ‘Why me?’ It stems from the human need to find an explanation for injustice and distance themselves from the feeling that life is random,” Sandra Shullman, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in harassment and hostile work environments, tells Yahoo Lifestyle.
“Women’s wardrobes have long been used as an excuse for sex crimes. However, when you look at the data on why people rape, that doesn’t hold up,” she says. “One study showed that rapists stated clothing as the reason for their crimes but their victims were wearing a range of outfits from revealing to snowsuits. These are arguments to transfer the responsibility of control and power from the perpetrator to the victim.”
When it comes to sex crimes, Shullman says, “clothing just doesn’t matter.”
If a nicely shaped woman wearing form fitting clothes walks in the room, I'm going to look at her. I wouldn't think of saying anything to her, but I will certainly admire the view. If that is now considered harassment, then I'm guilty and will be guilty in the future. If that offends you, I'm sorry, but I am a normal male responding how every other normal male will.
Fact, what we wear does create thoughts about us among others, Yes we can easily be sexuality excited by how another dresses. To say otherwise is just telling a lie. For some that that happens very easily and often, (teen boys) especially.
Outfits can create mischief and good or bad reactions, surely, that is just common sense, but dont think they have much of a role in abuse and criminal acts, that is much more based on the criminal motivations, not the other person.
if sexual harassment means unwanted flirting or 'touching', then yes, clothing can make a difference. Why do we pretend it doesn't? After all there is a reason we dress one way at work and one way at the club, because of different intentions. Most wouldn't think a three piece suit would get them flirted with at a club. So why think that what someone might wear to be flirted with at a club wont have the same impact at the office? YES? Clothing makes a difference in the impression you make. Why don't we wear joggers to job interviews? Because the impression given by that choice of clothes. Women are not victims just because we need to be aware of what our clothes are saying to others. When it comes to crime, clothes don't matter. But when it comes to what mere unwanted advances, which are not criminal, but a fact of life,, clothes do matter. Clothes send a message to others, whoever is wearing them, whether we like it or not.
its only harassment when the guy she does not want the attention from comments on how nice she looks. when its the guy she wants to seduce she is happy for the complement. why the double standard?
My mama taught me the guideline of wearing clothes that showed that I was a woman, but also a lady. If one isn't sure, then err on the side of bwing a lady. Men frequently told me I looked nice, which I took as the compliment it was meant to be. There were a few jerks who made lewd comments, but since I had carefully considered the image I was projecting, I knew it was their fault, not mine. And if a man had mislaid a hand on me, I would have decked him. It's really just common sense: to think about one's image, to not overreact to a compliment or underreact to groping or other assault. Unfortunately, common sense isn't very common anymore.
There is no rule that I can't walk down Martin Luther King Jr. Drive at 1 am counting my money, but I assure you that it would be directly related to my mugging.
Don't advertise what isn't for sale. And if you do advertise, be ready for an offer. Common sense people.
There is a reason why some of the safest schools out there all have uniforms.
Don't advertise the goods unless your seeking shoppers .
