World is so funny. Lol!

Married Men Repent!!

Nobody has better eyesight than a husband coming out of a hotel room with his girlfriend. He can even see next year [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

It is only in Africa where a person locks a door with a key and then tries to open it with no key, just to make sure that it is really locked.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Numbisa said:

It is only in Africa where a person locks a door with a key and then tries to open it with no key, just to make sure that it is really locked.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Click to expand...

😀😀😀😀

A German girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain.. She can't speak Spanish
.. Each time she wants to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt & show her thighs to enable the seller understand her... This went on for sometime.. One day she wanted to buy banana.. So She took her husband to the shop..

(dont laugh, listen Dirty minds)
Because her husband speaks Spanish very well.

My dad used to put his thumb impression on my mark sheet...

I asked him:
Being a Chartered Accountant, why are you putting your thumb impression, instead of signing on my progress card?

My dad replied:
idiot, after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated....
[emoji23][emoji23]

Your boyfriend shouts at you, you start crying like an imported toy. But your mom shouts at you, you shout back and fight her.[emoji57][emoji57]
Sister, The thunder that will fire you [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Never tell a lady that she's ugly.. Find a more polite way to say it.. Just say 'your face doesn't make sense'....[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

The "Delete for everyone" Feature on WhatsApp is making Ladies withdraw Consent too much. She Says Yes! And the next second 'this message has been deleted'. Only a Screenshot will save you

1980s : average parent ; 4 kids

2017: average kid ; 4 parents

If you marry a slay queen she will be like..
"babe come and taste the water that i have boiled for cooking tea"

Everytime i kill a mosquito i place it next to my bed so that other mosquitoes can see how dangerous am[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Not everyone who checks up on you actually cares, some just want to confirm if their witchcraft worked.

If you only knew what people say before picking your calls, you would never call again.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "COMPLETE and FINISHED". Some people say there's no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED, but there is: When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE! When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED! ....And when your wife catches you with another woman, you are ...COMPLETELY FINISHED! And if you marry a wife who likes shopping so much, you are FINISHED COMPLETELY

Meanwhile in the hospital

A lady went 2 a Doctor n complained dat her husband's penis is too long. She said "when ever he inserts it in me, its so long dat it touches my heart". The doctor replied ok: bring him, I'll operate it n make it smaller. The lady shouted "Nooooooh 4 wot? Just shift my heart up a little.

A wife said to her husband when it comes to sex u are like a cellphone'.
Husband replies,' do i vibrate too much?
Wife answered 'no,u loose network once u get inside.[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Husband and wife agreed tht whenever they wanted to have SEX, they will call it 'PHONE CALL' so tht the children would not understand. One day Dad sents son to tell Mum tht he wants to make 'PHONE CALL'. Mum replies, tel yr dad tht network is busy today. Dad replies, tell yr mum tht the call is urgent, if network is busy, then am going to a Public Phone Booth. Mum replies; tell him tht if he dare goes to a Public Phone Booth, i will OPEN a business centre and all 'PHONE CALLS' will be free[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

witchcraft is when you put porn DVD in a DVD player at home andthe power goes off...My friend you will have to carry a DVD the whole day like a laptop.[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

A boy is watching TV with his dad when a sex scene comes on...
"Well son, time for bed," the dad says.
"But dad I'm 16," complains the son.
The dad replies, "I don't care how old you are, you're not watching me wank."