JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

Niko kwenye kamtihani kadogo, kuna ka binti ka dadangu kamekuja hapa home kwangu hasa mi niko bored kinoma am broke mambo ya DSTV na Star times kwishney kitambo, movie zote nimemaliza, kujisomea...

Umeamka saa 11 alfajiri ,unahisi kuna mtu amelala pembeni yako unajikagua unagundua umevaa kufuli tu na si kawaida na jana yake unakumbuka ulilala pekee yako,si ivyo tu na si kawaida yako kutumia...

1. Dear Sir I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead manager. Each time I apply for employment I am told...

Mguu pande,mguu sawa,mguu pande,mguu sawa,mguu pande. Mbele geuka,nyuma geuka,kushoto geuka,kulia geuka. Mbele tembea. Hi hap hap hap,hi hap hap hap,gwaride hima, kushoto geuka,moja mbili tatu...

basi bwana kongosho akaendelea kunitumia sms kuwa yupo mbagala pale mission,hivyo niende kukutana nae,kwa kuwa nilikuwa na shauku ya kujua ni mvurana au msichana nikachukua pikipiki yangu mpaka...

Nakumbuka kipindi kile balehe zinaanza kunisumbua, basi ilikuwa ni furaha pale tanesco wakatapo umeme na kuwa giza. Ilikuwa unakamata kabinti gizani halafu unazama mdomoni. Balaa ni pale...

Dokta: Samahani nina habari mbaya, na nyingine mbaya sana kwako Mgonjwa: Dah! haya nieleze hizo habari mbaya . Dokta: Majibu ya vipimo vyako yametoka. Inaonekana una masaa 24 tu ya kuishi...

Yaliyomo yamoo! Mfanyabiashara mmoja mzaliwa wa muheza tanga. mwenye kupenda sifa na majivunoaliamua kutimba usukumani na kuoa, siku moja mbele ya rafiki zake akijisifu kuwa yeye ni mjanja na...

Kila kikicha kwenye TV,redio na magazeti kunakuwa na taarifa ya wasichana wa kuanzia miaka 16-19 wanaotangazwa kupotea kwao au kutokuonekana kwa muda hivyo wazazi na ndugu kulazimika kuomba msaada...

Ilikuwa mwaka 2008 kipindi hicho nilikuwa naendesha lory ya mizigo almaarufu kama FUSO., Basi sikuhyo tulikuwa tunatoka maeneo ya mufindi iringa kuchukua mbao tupeleke Dar... Tukiwa...

Msomi alikua anataka kuvuka mto kwa mtumbwi maongezi yao yalikua hivi- Msomi-ndugu umesoma mpaka darasa la ngapi? Mvushaji- darasa la 7 Msomi- umepoteza asilimia 20 ya maisha yako...

A fellow talking to his friend says, "How can I tell if my girl is a virgin ?" Friend tells him, "You have to wait till your wedding night, you show it to her and ask what it is. If she calls it...

Rafiki yangu aliniambia kuwa alipokuwa chuo alikuwa akienda kujipatia huduma kwa Sewa Buguruni. Alinieleza kuwa kila alipokuwa akienda alikuta wanachuo wengi nao wakipata huduma mbali mbali mbali...

jamani mie ktk urembo wote anaokua nao binti.... shida yangu mie uwa ni macho tu jamani... uwa kuna wasichana wanakuaga na macho flani ivi.. kama yamelegea... huitwa macho mkato.. Nayapenda macho...

A man went to his pastor, knelt down and began confesing tearfully: Pastor, I have sinned. Pastor : My son, what did you do, just confess what exactly you did? God Almighty will forgive you...

Wanawake wawili marafiki wakubwa wamekaa maskani kimyaaa.

Jamaa m1 ktk kijij flan alikua na tabia ya kupiga chabo madirishan kwa watu! Siku ya siku akapiga chabo kwenye dirisha flan ambalo ndan kulikua na wapenzi wanangonoka. Midadi ikampanda nae akawa...

Nimechagua vitasa kwa sababu Vitasa ndiyo balaa kama pale Muhimbili vitasa vinashikwa na wagonjwa na wazima wangapi kabla ya wewe kukishika. Lakini pia kuna nguzo za kwenye usafiri wa Umma kama...

Bakari is a house boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss and puts water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicious as for the quality of the wine, he decides to...

John aliingia kwenye "washrooms" za airport muda mfupi kabla ya kupanda ndege. Akiwa chooni akasikia sauti toka chumba jirani na alipokuwa: Sauti: Hi! John akajibu: Hi! Sauti: Uko wapi? John...