Doctor to his lady patient, "You look terribly weak
and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times
a day as I have advised?"
Lady replied, "Doctor, I thought you said three
males a day."
Jamaa m1
alikwenda shambani, akamuacha mkewe na ndugu
yake wa kiume.
Aliporudi akamckia ndugu yake na mkewe wakiongea:
Mke=haa!! Shemeji
Shemeji=haa nini?
Mke=kumbe na wewe huu mchezo...
Jamaa akanunua sabuni maarufu iitwayo OGESHA ilikuwa inatangazwa mno kwenye radio, TV na magazeti. Akafika home usiku, kama kawaida kuna mgawo wa umeme na watu kibao wanaoga, akaamua aogee kwenye...
Teh teh...Bolton kumbe ni wababe kuliko wale jamaa zetu waliofungwa nane!wao(bolton)wamefungwa tano tu.roooney kaondoka tena na mpira,mpaka ligi iishe chumbani kwake kutajaa mipira, teh teh!
Man in bar orders kingfisher beer.
Lady next to him: What a coincidence, Even I have ordered kingfisher.
Man: I'm celebrating.
Lady: Me too.
Man: What a coincidence. Why are you celebrating...
Wiki nimekuwa nikiangaika sana na kazi za kujenga taifa. Sasa nimeona niweke fursa hii japo niende nikajiliwaze Beach huku nikikata story na msichana yeyote bila kujali kubagua. hata wakiwa zaidi...
Wakuu wenzangu sina budi kumshukuru Mungu kwa kila jambo katika maisha yangu aliyonijalia hadi leo hii nimeweza kuiona siku hii ya leo. Napenda kwaataarifu wanajanvi wenzangu leo ndio ile siku...
Kabadilisha sura yake ya kijambazi kaweka sura ya mtoto anayecheka.
Pogezi kwako ujumbe wangu uliupata ukaufanyia kazi.
Nataka kuamini ccm wanaweza kubadilika
Faida za mbunge wangu kuachana na siasa uchawara zama hizi.
1. Wilaya yangu itakuwa maarufu kama Igunga.
2. Vyombo vya habari vitahamia huko, wananchi wataweza kueleza shida zao, zikaandikwa...
John alioa mke
wa kichaga..siku moja juma akaenda nyumban kwa
john..john mwnyw hakuwepo akamkuta mke wa john
peke yake..akamwambia,shemej naomb unionyshe
matit yako ntakupa laki tano...mke wa...
Salaam wana Jf.
Wakati tukiwa primary, ilikuwa kila siku asubuhi tunakimbia mchakamchaka, tunaimba nyimbo za umoja na mshikamano. Ilipendeza sana,.
Je wewe unakumbuka tukio gani wakat ukiwa...
A guy
went up to his father saying:
"Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome
girl!"
Father: That's great son. Who is it?
Son: It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh...
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out...
Jamaa alisafiri kwa wiki 2,akawasahau mbwa wake kuwaachia mpishi.aliporudi kati ya mbwa 9 ,wawili walishaliwa na wenzao na aafuataye akawa yeye MWENYE MBWA..Ni eneo maarufu kwa spicy za panya...
baada ya kutumikia kifungo cha miezi mitatu bila ulalamishi hatimaye nimerudi.nimelimiss jukwaa ile mbaya,nafurahi babu wa loliondo kafifia kama nilivyotabiri.wakuu ban inauma na...
TANESCO
P.O.BOX 00000
DAR ES SALAAM
Ndugu Mteja,
YAH: KUBADILI JINA LA SHIRIKA
Husika na kichwa cha habari hapo huu, shirika la kusambaza umeme Tanzania TANESCO (Tanzania Electric Supply...
Kigogo huyo wa chama cha magamba wilayani Sumbawanga amemshushia kipigo kizito mke wake wa ndoa aitwaye Tuli Mwakibinda chanzo cha kipigo ni sms iliyo ingia kwa Tuli wkt wakiwa wamejipumnzisha...
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