My dear your need to be strong and move on. We live only onceHello,
I have always been reading threads without commenting. Kwanini nimeanzisha hii thread?
I am a married lady..in my very early 30s( with over 11 years of marriage experience). I got married when I was in my early 20s. Graduated my masters in my very early 20s as well.
It has never been a peaceful marriage pamoja na jitihada nyingi nilizofanya mimi kuisimamia na kujinyenyekeza kwa kuweka elimu na appearance yangu pembeni. Kifupi tu ya ninayopitia;
1. Being heavily beaten mpaka kulazwa whenever he drinks( mind you, he is a regular drinker)
2. Hakuwahi kuja msiba wa baba yangu mzazi sababu kuu 'alikuwa na washkaji trip'
3. Sijui sh.yake japo anajenga..so i pay for house and family needs mpaka nilipojua ameandikisha hio nyumba jina la ndugu yake
4. Gari pia nilimpa hela akaninunulie yard hapa mjini karudi kaiweka jina lake. Sio kwamba hana hela..no he is financially stable.( sijui ananikomoa nini na sijawahi kutishia kuondoka wala nini-kwa wanaonijua nje wanaweza kuthibitisha hili)
5. Restrictions with my dress code. Anataka nishone vitenge mpaka miguuni. Ana wivu wa ajabu sana na mimi kupendeza au hata kusuka nywele hataki. Hataki nivae suruali,jeans and he found me wearing all those.He wants me rough NOW na anasema nataka kupendeza kwa ajili ya nani? Ananitumia mpaka threads sijui za wanawake 'wenye makalio makubwa hawana akili' nijitathmini na mimi(he picks everything from the internet). Hili halinisumbui sana because i know nina akili ya shule na maisha pia
6. Sex life is bad..very bad( nilishakamata mengi kwenye simu yake). And to be honest it is better this way..kwamba hatushiriki like normal married couples miezi minne sasa na wala hajali yani sawa tu kwake. Binafsi nitavumilia sababu afya yangu matters a lot
7. Sijawahi kumjibu chochote, ninaomba msamaha hata ninapokosewa, ninaandaa bedroom na scents nzuri, napika napeleka mtoto kwa dada yangu for sleep over ili tupate muda fulani ila ndio anarudi alfajiri na asubuhi ananiuliza nani kanifundisha mambo ya kihuni. Vikao vilishakaliwa mno..i know for a fact, he won't change.
8. I have shared my case kwa mtu mmoja tu,a man lately..ambae amekuwa so concerned na sijui tutaenda nae wapi as am beginning to fall in love na yeye(najua inabidi niwe muangalifu kwa wanaokuja kusikitika na mimi kumbe amenitamani tu kutokana na physical appearance and all that)
Sijaacha kuwa msafi..sijaacha kujipenda BUT i am dying deep down. NO LOVE NO SUPPORT hata ile kidogo na sijamuongelesha kwa mara ya kwanza toka anipige miezi 4 iliopita na kulazwa(sababu hapa ilikuwa sikuvaa nguo kama madira ambapo kazini siwezi kuvaa japo navaa kiheshima sana yet smart)na kisha kurudi nyumbani baada ya kusuluhishwa..hajui naishi vipi japo nina kazi yangu ni kama KAKA NA DADA.
Our wedding was a church wedding. NIMECHOKA. Sijui naanzia wapi kutoka but ninahitaji kutoka kwenye hiki kifungo
I believe atakuja kunifukuza kwenye nyumba alioiandika jina la ndugu yake. Maana hapa ni kama mpangaji na hela anayo mpaka ya kunywa ma hennessy kila weekend. I am a God fearing person deep down..sana! Sikuwahi kuwaza kwanini wengine wananunuaga viwanja pembeni..na nilikuwa mtu wa kwanza kupinga wanawake wa aina hii.
Ninasukumwa kuanza 'ku save kidogokidogo' na kupunguza kulisha familia ili nijipange na kibanda changu japo najiuliza mpaka nimefanikiwa kumaliza kujenga sio leo wala kesho i assume(kutokana na nachoki earn) na nitakuwa tortured kwa level ipi mpaka nimalize kujenga. Niko confused hasa
But I need advice..ninachanganyikiwa hata kazini performance inashuka.
Kindly advice
Am I wrong if I process divorce?
Am I wrong if I process divorce?
My dear your need to be strong and move on. We live only once
Demi
JF-Expert Member
- Nov 22, 2016
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Umeongea vizuri docta. Asipoelewa hapa sijui atamuelewa nani mwingine
- Thread starter
- #323
🤣🤣🤣🤣 dada yangu aliniambia hivi pia ni mtu pekee anaejua hizi changamoto zangu. Lakini nimekataa kuvaa dira kazini. Nilikata nywele baada ya kipigo March lakini anatuma msg ambazo sizijibu kwa sasa..kwamba nimechukiza sana kunyoa bora nivae ma wig. Binafsi sipendi wigs..its either my own natural hair au ninyoe hivi na nimeridhika sana na nilivyonyoa baada ya dada yangu(msiri wangu) kuniambia nimependeza na yeye akakutana na rafiki yake mmoja aliniona ofisini akamwambia ' shem' amenyoa amependeza sanaa...ndio akaja na msg ya kuniambia ninachukiza sana na simvutii. Sijamjibu mpaka leo..anasema simheshimu..ukimya umekuwa amani kwangu maana naona ana play psychology
Mokobe
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 25, 2020
- 1,249
- 1,546
My Lovely sister Rosiela
I have nothing much to say abou the censorious circumstance that you're going through as a married woman, but consider my opinions for the better life in the future.
There are so many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage or relationship as follows;
Commitment,Trust,time,attention,Good communication include listening, partnership, tolerance, patience, respect&sharing, generosity&consideration, ability to compromise and constructive.
I believe you use to be happy in the beginning but now you're suffering and intense heart bleeding. Just look at you child/children in a different because they need you more than anything else. If you could't make it work there you're then it may work somewhre else.
At the end I'd like to conclude this by saying LISTEN YOUR HEART
It's your lovely brother
Mokobe
I have nothing much to say abou the censorious circumstance that you're going through as a married woman, but consider my opinions for the better life in the future.
There are so many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage or relationship as follows;
Commitment,Trust,time,attention,Good communication include listening, partnership, tolerance, patience, respect&sharing, generosity&consideration, ability to compromise and constructive.
I believe you use to be happy in the beginning but now you're suffering and intense heart bleeding. Just look at you child/children in a different because they need you more than anything else. If you could't make it work there you're then it may work somewhre else.
At the end I'd like to conclude this by saying LISTEN YOUR HEART
It's your lovely brother
Mokobe
- Thread starter
- #325
Duh..unataka weakness gani. Na kujifagilia wapi? Kwani humu kuna biashara gani? All in all nina hasira pia lakini ninaweza kuji control. Kiukweli sijui zingine..muda mwingi nime focus na kazi na familia basi. Kaka mimi mpaka anagawa nguo zangu kwa ndugu zake..anaacha maronyaronya..nilichoandika ni pinch tu of what i am going through.
jje's
JF-Expert Member
- Sep 3, 2014
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mkuu bhana you keep on building the peace of mind every minutes
usitufokeeee/tutishie hahahahahhahaha
Gorgeousmimi
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 21, 2010
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Huyu nae kamsimanga mumewe anavumilia mpaka anahatarisha uhai doh....pesa hubadili watu!
snowhite
JF-Expert Member
- Aug 2, 2012
- 18,065
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Sweetheart.
Hii dunia hamna ambayo hana madhaifu.
Hakudai yeyote ukamilifu.
Huna haja kabiiiisa ya kusema hizi ni weakness zako.
Hizi si weakness mama,
Weakness zipo na We all have them.
-Mi sipendi kufua na sifui, naita mtu afue.
-Nna kisirani, cha kutosha tu.
-Nikiamua kuzichapa tunazipanga.
-Sikubali majibu marahisi kwenye situation ngumu na ntakubishia ukiona.
-Nikiona kitu sielewi ninahoji na nitahoji.
Na mengine tu mengi,
Sasa all of them here huyu ndiye mimi.
Sasa wewe huna sababu ya kuwa a saint kutakiwa kupendwa na kuhurumiwa.
Mi na ununda wangu huu kuna watu hawalali wananiota.
So own yourself.
- Thread starter
- #329
Aisee JF🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️😄😄 imebidi nicheke,nina hasira sana sababu ninapitia chuki mara nyingi..lakini naweza kuji control. Sio mtu wa ma vacation,mitoko ni mpaka nimuombe tuende wote.
Extrovert
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 29, 2016
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Lazma tu dig tujue waliishije before jamaa hajamake it in life! Was there enough respect au element za kunyanyasana kihisia.
Extrovert
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 29, 2016
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Ujage humu tena umefanya la maana sana mrembo mie ndio mr.bean wa jf 😅 ntakupa madini mengi tu ya kimaisha hizo changamoto ndogo sana usihofu bana!
- Thread starter
- #332
Kuna mambo mengi humu uwi😄😄 na assumptions nyingi achilia kunangwa. Thanks Mr.Bean
Gorgeousmimi
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 21, 2010
- 9,296
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Tumuulize Rosiela hilo!!
- Thread starter
- #334
Ana wivuuuuuuuu hamna mfano
Gorgeousmimi
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 21, 2010
- 9,296
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Extrovert anataka kujua ulikuwa unampa treatment gani mumeo kabla hajatoka kimaisha na kuushika mkwanja?
snowhite
JF-Expert Member
- Aug 2, 2012
- 18,065
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Weeeeeeeeeeeh.
Be a human being.
Acha kuwa passive kwenye mambo ya msingi.
Acha kujiamimisha mambo yote haya bado hujabadilika.
Fuuuuck being a saint.
You aren't one.
Na hutakuwa.
Mungu ameshamaliza kuteua watakatifu.
Amebaki na siku moja tu ya hukumu.
Sasa unafkr usipomuacha Huyu ndo utaenda mbinguni?
Tutakutana tu motoni na dhambi yako ya kinyongo na mi na dhambi yangu ya uzinzi.
Ohoooo!!
Extrovert
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 29, 2016
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Kwa huo u careless ni boya huyo jamaa
- Thread starter
- #338
Siutafuti u saint dear..mimi kufua napenda na napenda hekaheka za nyumbani. Yani napenda kujishughulisha hata kazini. Sipendi kuwa idle..nima hasira hio ni weekeness yangu kubwa na kuhisi naonewa..naona kama dunia nzima inajua shida zangu sasa nikionewa huwa na hasira but ndani ya muda mfupi narudi kawaida.
Nyani Ngabu
Platinum Member
- May 15, 2006
- 94,296
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Sounds like you’ve been watching too much of Kevin Samuels 🤣🤣
Extrovert
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 29, 2016
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Hahahahahah