Am not materialistic but I still can't keep a man

1. Know your position. Be a woman.
2. Treat men as men, jus like how your mother treated your dad.
3. Stop living a dream life. Life's nothing like what you see on Tv series. We are in africa, we need african women, not tv characters!
4. Plus your education is for you and yours only, when u r with a man, he's the Boss!
5. Besides, you aint living in the past, forget about ur ex and live the present! Everyman is unique, live to their strength and accept their imperfections.
6. Learn to love those who love you, atleast dont shun them, get to know them. You never know who will lead u to the altar
7. You seem to fall for those who pay less attention to you ( they dont love you! Woke up!)

Nb
We are colleagues, medicals. Happily married. If u wont mind, i can give u a proper advice chamber. I knw a thing or two about dating
 
The hardest people to live with are speculated to be:

Lawyers
Doctors
Phsycologists.

You fall under one category. Please keep your MD to yourself.

Carefully look at these three basic needs of men in a relationship:
Food
Sex
Silence

How good and willing are you at providing your man with each?
 

mh! mi chichemi mengi chana. Hii formula haina formula. Watu wengi hujua thamani za wenzao wakishawapoteza. Huyu dada wala hana kasoro. Ni kwamba bado ana majeraha ya kuachwa/kuacha na hajui. Hao anaokutana nao na kuona hawafai ni kwa sababu anatapa tapa kwa hiyo anashika chochote kinachokuja halafu akitulia kidogo anagundua amechemka. Anahitaji muda zaidi wa kupona na kujipanga upya na kuanza maisha ya kujitegemea kihisia. Miaka chini ya miwili toka mahusiano ya mwisho na kuanzisha mahusiano mapya yenye maana ni michache hasa kwa mtu kama huyu anayeonekana alikaa kwenye uhusiano na mpenzi wake muda muda mrefu.

Mi namshauri akubali kuwa yeye na yule mwenzie wasingeweza kuwa na furaha endelevu, aache kuwaza kuyapa mapenzi nafasi kuuubwa kwenye maisha, aache kuwaza kuwa kachelewa, aache kuwaza kuzaa na mtalaka wake, afanye shughuli zingine kwa bidii maisha mengine yasije yakaporomoka. Akishapona hisia atapata mtu mwingine very naturally na kama ni kubadilika tabia flani atabadilika kulingana na tabia za huyo mwanaume husika. Hakuna "cardinal behaviour" za kuvutia na ku-keep mwenzi. Tabia hiyo hiyo inaweza kumvutia mmoja na kumkimbiza mwingine. Ni swala la compatibility zaidi. Mwanaume anaweza kukimbia na kusema "yule mwanamke ni mjuaji sana", na mwanaume mwingine akabaki akasema "huyu mwanamke ana akili sana". Sasa ukikutana na anayekuona mjuaji na ukataka kum-keep kwa kujifanya mjinga sijui mnyenyekevu ili abaki, well, ni swala la kuhesabu gharama. Mi naamini katika uhusiano wake uliovunjika amepata ya kujifunza kuhusu mahusiano, basi maisha yaendelee. Mambo ya kukata kata tamaa hayafai.
 
brenda18 said:
I believe when the right time comes you won't push her,they simply were not for you. You had your valid reasons while pushing them away
Don't let your worries make decisions for you
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has someone told you you're both realistic and idealistic? because if you knew and believed in this advice, you wouldn't have come here. So, like you said, don't make your worries make decisions for you. don't make your worries get you to have a child with your so called love of your life. you can't just go back there. what a desperation! when you're 42 and still single, i'll bless you to have a child because that biological clock ......
 
kyekuu hiki kigezo cha umri kilishaeksipaya. kuna vijana sijui niseme watoto wako early ana mid 20's lakini wanajua wanataka nini na hata ndoa wanafunga na 20's wenzao. halafu kuna vijeba vya kiume viko 40's na wengine 50's huko bado vinaruka ruka havitaki kutulia chini. viko vya kike pia mid 30's na kuendelea ukimuuliza habari ya ndoa anatoa macho tu hajui kama anaitka au haitaki. Haya mambo yanategemea mazingira na mapito ya mtu binafsi, ila siwashauri vijana kuingia kwenye mahusiano ya "enter at your own risk". yaani mnaanza tu safari halafu mnaambiana wee twende tukifika huko mbele tutajua tunaenda wapi! mkikutana na misukosuko mnaanza kutoleana mapovu...mbele hakuendeki, nyuma mbali.
 
hicho kitabu ni mawazo ya harvey tu, yana mchango lakini si universal law. nimetoka kusoma thread ya mwanaume analalamika kahamia nyumbani kwa mwanamke, sasa anatakiwa kuchangia kodi ya nyumba analialia. sasa huyu sijui ndo mwanamke, halafu yule mwanamke ndo mwanaume? halafu swala la kupenda uhuru na kuaminiwa ni hitaji la binadamu wote kuanzia mtoto anayeweza kutambaa mpaka kikongwe mwenye akili timamu bila kujali ni wa kike au wa kiume. Hakuna mwanamke anayependa kuulizwaulizwa kila saa uko wapi, unafanya nini na nani...
 

umenena vyema sana mkuu
 

Pole sana Dear.... To me I think may be the right time hasn't reach yet. My dear dont give up , you still young.. I think you need to focus on doing other things to stay busy while you pray unto God to give you the right person.. Do some Fasting and Prayers for sometimes by commit everything unto God. Surely God will send the right person for you.. I think you haven't get a right person and I believe if you will get the right one you will forget all the Past. Take your past relationships as an experience to prepare you for your future husband. Don't put yourself down by going back to your Ex because of having the Baby , no way girl you are too beautiful and precious so I advice you don't do it . You are wonderful and fearful made by God . You are a child of God never underestimate yourself girl , you deserve better . Just wait give some little time . Pray without ceasing and surely God will grant your heart desires Amen. Thanks.
 

Sijakuelewa hapa my dear fafanua zaidi
 

What do you mean by silence??I would love to know
 

That's not true on the top lists .. Not all of them are hard to live with . Mbona they are normal people who doing their passion Job . Thanks..
 

I think there are a lot of things beyond this post that I haven't explained so it's difficult to understand my situation
Am open to advice,you're welcome
 

Amen for this,
Thank you dear
 
loveissweet said:
I think labda amemaanisha mkimya asieongea sana or majibu ya dharau or in short Gubu ( hopeful nimepatia hili neno ). Thanks. .
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Mmh mbona kuna watu ni waongeaji and they still have their marriages, kuna watu are good at cooking and still can't keep their hubbies... Mimi naona when you have the right man atakubaliana na mapungufu yako na kukusaidia uwe mtu mzuri zaidi ya alivyokukuta
Hapo kwenye silence wanaume wengi wanamaanisha mwanamke awe submissive,hakuna kubisha wala kujenga hoja wewe ni kupokea tu amri kutoka kwa mmeo which I find it's unfair
 

Dear hapo if nimepatia what the other person meant but not sure . Its true the way you have said in Silence . Binafsi I love challenges. If man doesn't talk its getting boring.. and if I don't talk definitely is fake. Lets all speak for what we know with points and expressing our feelings about how and what we are feeling ( don't get me wrong . Not in bad ways but in good ways ) . Thanks.
 
brenda18 said:
i think there are a lot of things beyond this post that i haven't explained so it's difficult to understand my situation
am open to advice,you're welcome
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jini mahaba ndiye anaye kusumbua !!
 
brenda18 said:
What do you mean by silence??I would love to know
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In a few words, do not nag. Give him his time to hang out with his fellas. Leave him up to his deeds that do not involve, concern nor affect you and the relationship.

Do not interfere with every single aspect of his life. Dont push him to telling you anything if he doesnt want to.

Make your presence felt, but do not suffocate him.

A modest silence is a woman's crown
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