Am not materialistic but I still can't keep a man

[miss chagga]

Ooooh kumbe hadi kilimanjaro!! Mie nilipiga savana bwana, ngoja nitajaribu tena.

kilimanjaro for english speakers

 

[Kaunga]

mh! mi chichemi mengi chana. Hii formula haina formula. Watu wengi hujua thamani za wenzao wakishawapoteza. Huyu dada wala hana kasoro. Ni kwamba bado ana majeraha ya kuachwa/kuacha na hajui. Hao anaokutana nao na kuona hawafai ni kwa sababu anatapa tapa kwa hiyo anashika chochote kinachokuja halafu akitulia kidogo anagundua amechemka. Anahitaji muda zaidi wa kupona na kujipanga upya na kuanza maisha ya kujitegemea kihisia. Miaka chini ya miwili toka mahusiano ya mwisho na kuanzisha mahusiano mapya yenye maana ni michache hasa kwa mtu kama huyu anayeonekana alikaa kwenye uhusiano na mpenzi wake muda muda mrefu.

Mi namshauri akubali kuwa yeye na yule mwenzie wasingeweza kuwa na furaha endelevu, aache kuwaza kuyapa mapenzi nafasi kuuubwa kwenye maisha, aache kuwaza kuwa kachelewa, aache kuwaza kuzaa na mtalaka wake, afanye shughuli zingine kwa bidii maisha mengine yasije yakaporomoka. Akishapona hisia atapata mtu mwingine very naturally na kama ni kubadilika tabia flani atabadilika kulingana na tabia za huyo mwanaume husika. Hakuna "cardinal behaviour" za kuvutia na ku-keep mwenzi. Tabia hiyo hiyo inaweza kumvutia mmoja na kumkimbiza mwingine. Ni swala la compatibility zaidi. Mwanaume anaweza kukimbia na kusema "yule mwanamke ni mjuaji sana", na mwanaume mwingine akabaki akasema "huyu mwanamke ana akili sana". Sasa ukikutana na anayekuona mjuaji na ukataka kum-keep kwa kujifanya mjinga sijui mnyenyekevu ili abaki, well, ni swala la kuhesabu gharama. Mi naamini katika uhusiano wake uliovunjika amepata ya kujifunza kuhusu mahusiano, basi maisha yaendelee. Mambo ya kukata kata tamaa hayafai.

Umeongea vizuri sana, honestly nilikuwa nawaza pia hiyo ya kumpoteza mpenzi wake wa mwanzo na kushindwa kudumu na waliomfuatia. Niliitafakari kiimani, nikaona nisiwaboe watu na imani yangu. Lkn kile ulichokiona wewe na kukitafsri kisaikolojia mimi nakitafsiri kiimani na ninaweza mpa solution ya kiimani pia.

Walipendana sana na mpenzi wake wa kwanza, waliAHIDIANA mengi wakatengeneza bond au soul ties ambayo wamekuja kuvunja. Sasa hawezi settle na mwingine because of the bondage na mpenzi wake wa kwanza, so bila kujali ana attitude problem or not kiimani anahitaji kuwa huru kutoka kwenye uhusiano wa kwanza ndio ataweza settle. So BRENDA 18 if this makes sense and you are interested to free yourself from your former love ili umove on PM me for guidance

 

[Sara]

That is what I mean. In the typical Tanzanian household like the one I was raised in, a woman has no say. Yani baba akiongea, watoto na mama mnansikiliza na kumuitikia.

I CANNOT be in such a relationship. Kama huwezi kuniona kama mtu mzima nwenzako mwenye haki, uhuru na uwezo wa kufanya maamuzi hatuhutaji kuwa wote.

You are NOT above me in any way, shape or form. There are differences btn the sexes but they are not in any way measures of superiority or inferiority.

(DO NOT show such an attitude to a Tz man or you wont keep him. lol)

Ila kwa misimamo hiyo utangoja sanaaaa, japo umeongea kweli tupu.

 

[gwijimimi]

do u mean height above sea level??? or attitude??

heheheh dude tatizo "SIMATIFONI"
HOPE THO GOT MAI POINTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

[RugambwaYT]

Good evening,

Am in my late 20s about completing my MMED. Ever since I got out of my first relationship with my first and d only man I have ever loved I have not been able to keep other men coming my way.

Am not really a bad person, am not even materialistic because even as an undergraduate I was working. No man I have ever dated that doesn ’ t not wish to settle down with me but one thing will lead to another and there will be change in plan.

In fact am losing hope of ever getting married may be I should just get pregnant for my first love and be a single mother. Right now am single and I have been for more than a year. Please do u have any advice for me?

Thanks

Learn to expect less from love, but to enjoy the most from the least that love can offer. It worked for me.

 

[Code Breaker]

U think ua still young enough to be attracted with anyone!!! Forgetting that ua aging every single day!

 

[Kiluuj]

It may b too late 2 add my piece of advice. 1st u shud understand 30 education & love r 2 dfrent things. Let ua love life be independent from ua work life. 2ndly, back home, in my tribe, there is this saying that goes 'ambaye hajatoka husema mama yake ndio mpishi hodari'. U kud b thnking 30 u cannot love another guy jst coz u avent allowed uaself 2 explore the love world. Never try 2 compare boyfriends coz each and every one has a unique aspect 30 distiguishes him from the other. After all, it is said 30, U'll av 2 kiss many frogs b4 U kiss Mr. Right. All the best

 

[Elijah]

Come to me brenda!

 

[The Evil Genius]

EXCUSE ME YOU MINDLESS FOOL, THE ONLY STUPID ONE HERE IS YOU AND WHO EVER BROUGHT YOU UP.

Some people in the thread think OP has the "attitude" and almost everyone agrees that Tz men want submissive women HENCE she should change if she is to keep a Tz man.

If being submissive is "an insult" then you and I are apparently on the same team.

Hayo mambo ya classy umeyaongea wewe. people will be with whom they want and your opinion matters the LEAST.

My love life is non of your business and am not and will never be married to a Tz man. Deal with it.

Wanawake baadhi wa jf wako desperate sana. Iko hivi, sio kwamba you wont be married to a tz man,hakuna mwanaume atakuoa wewe,wewe ndio huoleki na mwanaume awe wa kitanzania au wa kikenya. kama unadhani kuna mwanaume yoyote duniani anataka mwanamke asie submissive labda uwe umemuumba wewe. mwenyewe.

Baada ya kuona huoleki kwa tabia zako mbaya unakuja kujifariji hapa eti huwezi kuolewa na mwanaume w kitanzania,ni mwanaume gani anaweza kuoa mwanamke wa hovyo kama wewe. Hakuna mwanamke anaweza kuoa mwanamke mwenye mtazamo kama wako popite duniani maana angekuwepo ungekua ushampata.

Hutaki kuolewa na mwanaume wa kitanzania huku unashiriki mijadala ya mapenzi na wanaume wa kitanzania,sasa hapo unajifunza nini maana ndio hao huwataki kwa hyo hata mitazamo yao kwenye mapenzi haiwezi kuendana na wewe huku unajadiliana nao, hii hi ajabu,sungura sizitaki mbichi hizi.

 

[The Evil Genius]

Excuse me mama,do u even knw how much u have disrespected women whow are married to/dating Tanzanian men??
This kasumba of"tanzanian men type" ni ushamba wenu tu do u think wazungu they do not fu.cking care about altitudes??
The ego u have is the very same problem she has
U think u r too classy for tanzanian men but the funny thing is "sitashangaa ukiwa umeolewa with the same type,tanzanian man"
Wote walioolewa na wanaodate na watanzania ni Wajinga but U?too stupid kwakweli

Achana na wanawake wengine humu wana frastration za maisha na mapenzi baada ya kuona hawewezi kuoleka sasa wanajifariji kwamba hawawataki wanaume wa kitanzania. Yeye nani anamtaka.

 

[Mtoto halali na hela]

Keep waiting for your husband to be, he is on the way.

 

[mwekundu]

Be realistic that's my advice,u not

 

[Pritty wa joseph]

It may b too late 2 add my piece of advice. 1st u shud understand 30 education & love r 2 dfrent things. Let ua love life be independent from ua work life. 2ndly, back home, in my tribe, there is this saying that goes 'ambaye hajatoka husema mama yake ndio mpishi hodari'. U kud b thnking 30 u cannot love another guy jst coz u avent allowed uaself 2 explore the love world. Never try 2 compare boyfriends coz each and every one has a unique aspect 30 distiguishes him from the other. After all, it is said 30, U'll av 2 kiss many frogs b4 U kiss Mr. Right. All the best

Umenikosha mkuu

 

[housegirl]

,hakuna mwanaume atakuoa wewe,wewe ndio huoleki na mwanaume awe wa kitanzania au wa kikenya. kama unadhani kuna mwanaume yoyote duniani anataka mwanamke asie submissive labda uwe umemuumba wewe. mwenyewe.

Hahaha thanks for the morning laugh. Eti Mkenya. Nimegundua si kosa lako. Ni kwasababu ya CCM. Hahaha. Dunia yako imeishia Kenya.

Anyways I also find you unintelligent. Uneducated. Unexposed. Immature. Boring. You speaking for the entire world's male population is an insult to real men out there.

 

[housegirl]

Wanawake baadhi wa jf wako desperate sana. Iko hivi, sio kwamba you wont be married to a tz man,hakuna mwanaume atakuoa wewe,wewe ndio huoleki na mwanaume awe wa kitanzania au wa kikenya. kama unadhani kuna mwanaume yoyote duniani anataka mwanamke asie submissive labda uwe umemuumba wewe. mwenyewe.

Baada ya kuona huoleki kwa tabia zako mbaya unakuja kujifariji hapa eti huwezi kuolewa na mwanaume w kitanzania,ni mwanaume gani anaweza kuoa mwanamke wa hovyo kama wewe. Hakuna mwanamke anaweza kuoa mwanamke mwenye mtazamo kama wako popite duniani maana angekuwepo ungekua ushampata.

Hutaki kuolewa na mwanaume wa kitanzania huku unashiriki mijadala ya mapenzi na wanaume wa kitanzania,sasa hapo unajifunza nini maana ndio hao huwataki kwa hyo hata mitazamo yao kwenye mapenzi haiwezi kuendana na wewe huku unajadiliana nao, hii hi ajabu,sungura sizitaki mbichi hizi.

You can interpret my writing however you can. Frustrated. Desperate.
You can also interpret my being unmarried however you please. It doesn't change the truth.

Tadadhali Acha kuongelea wanaume wengine. This is a forum for everyone. It's a sea of ideas and knowledge.Kama unataka kuongea n'a watu wenye mawazo kama yako anzisha club yako.

Na ukweli unataka pale pale. I will marry whom I want when I want.

 

[housegirl]

kama unadhani kuna mwanaume yoyote duniani anataka mwanamke asie submissive labda uwe umemuumba wewe. mwenyewe. .

I forgot to mention una inferiority complex in disguise. Huwezi kupanda kwa kumshusha mwenzako. We ni wa kudharaulika. We fanya ya maana utaheshimiwa. Whether you're a man or woman. Rich or poor.

Me mwenyewe siwezi kukuoa wewe. Kazi ya kupump ego za mtu siwezi. There's a desperate woman out there who will want you.

 

[mjasiria]

Mimi nina swali moja tu kwa ma single mama kwa kupanga na kukusudia. Hivi mnapoamua hivyo huwa mnawafikiria hao watoto mtakaowazaa?! Kwa upande wangu naona ni ubinafsi wa hali ya juu. Naweza kuelewa kama baba kafariki au kakataa mtoto au hata kama imetokea mmeachana kwa sababu mbalimbali lakini mtu anakaa chini anaamua tu kuwa azae alee single??!! Kama vipi muigeni Condoleezza Rice.

 

[Wa Nsambuki]

Hi Brenda18, It is rather sad to read your message and some of the relies. A beautiful lady about to complete MMED? You should not worry about meeting and keeping a man. Trust me, the right man will come at the right time. It is a pity that our culture indoctrinates us that we should have met someone by our early twenties. I too am a beautiful lady (or rather was!), very confident lady (and always has been), and I love life. I have done studies similar to yours. Years ago, I went through similar struggles. As a result I married, had children and ploughed through my PhD and other further studies with a couple of children in tow. While I love my family, it was not easy. While living abroad I saw many ladies from other cultures who had waited and studied while enjoying their lives. So don't worry, it will all be all right, just be yourself. Don't be swayed by many people who will tell you "men don't like this" or "men like this", for some of them it is their own insecurities. People have very different experiences, and we can not simply generalize. A good man who knows your worth will fight to keep you, as long as both of you have genuine love. Good luck, and have a good day 🙂

 

[Upiversity]

It may b too late 2 add my piece of advice. 1st u shud understand 30 education & love r 2 dfrent things. Let ua love life be independent from ua work life. 2ndly, back home, in my tribe, there is this saying that goes 'ambaye hajatoka husema mama yake ndio mpishi hodari'. U kud b thnking 30 u cannot love another guy jst coz u avent allowed uaself 2 explore the love world. Never try 2 compare boyfriends coz each and every one has a unique aspect 30 distiguishes him from the other. After all, it is said 30, U'll av 2 kiss many frogs b4 U kiss Mr. Right. All the best

huu ni uandishi wa kipumbavu na kilofa sana!

 

[Upiversity]

You can interpret my writing however you can. Frustrated. Desperate.
You can also interpret my being unmarried however you please. It doesn't change the truth.

Tadadhali Acha kuongelea wanaume wengine. This is a forum for everyone. It's a sea of ideas and knowledge.Kama unataka kuongea n'a watu wenye mawazo kama yako anzisha club yako.

Na ukweli unataka pale pale. I will marry whom I want when I want.

jolyta = housegirl
cc: Invisible
TUMECHOKA!!