Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Jackline Aloyce]

 

[Freyzem]

MANGI alinunua Mbuzi akamwambia Mpishi. "Nyama nusu ipike pilau na nyingine itie kwenye friji, KICHWA fanya supu na MIGUU fanya mchuzi wa chukuchuku, NGOZI usitupe tutafanya mkeka, UTUMBO pika na ndizi, MIFUPA tutawauzia wenye mbwa, KINYESI weka kwa ajili ya mbolea ya bustani"

Mpishi akamuuliza- "sauti yake je?"

MANGI - "fanya ringtone kwenye simu yako"

Mpaka sasa mpishi hajulikani alipo.

Wachaga tuko vizur kwenye matumiz usimwige mchaga utakufa tajir

 

[Elak]

*Umekula mshikaki Wa 500 unatenmbea na stick mdomon je siku ukila kuku c utatembea na kun wewe*

 

[Nimkimbilie nani]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Oppomall]

Haaaaa haaaa haaaaa!

 

[Freyzem]

*Umekula mshikaki Wa 500 unatenmbea na stick mdomon je siku ukila kuku c utatembea na kun wewe*

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[The Professor]

polisi alishika watu wa tatu maskani wakinuka bangi lakini hakujua alovuta ni nani kati yao,basi Akumuuliza wa kwanza " Mechi ya chelsea na Manchester nani kashinda ? akajibu "Manchester
" Akamuuliza wa pili " kati ya mbwa na paka nani alishinda vita Kati yao? akajibu mbwa .

Akamuuliza wa tatu umejifunza nini kutokana na haya majibu ? akajibu nimejifunza Manchester na mbwa watacheza fainali. [emoji23][emoji23]‍♀[emoji125]‍♀[emoji125]‍♀[emoji125]

 

[Mkuu wa Kibiti]

[emoji61] [emoji61] [emoji61]

 

[stickvibration]

Hakuna kitu kibaya ktk
Maisha yako kama paleee,,!!!

Unapotumia mtandao wa Vodacom,ukienda “Nipige Tafu” kisha ukakopa,
Mara mesej inakuja
“HATUKUAMINI”
hapo ndio utajua nini maana ya cock stick soda[emoji3]

 

[Bailly5]

Unakuta mwanamke mwembamba halafu kavaa jeans imembana, t-shirt imembana, raba inambana halafu juu kavaa kofia

Akitembea Kama msumari wa bati

 

[Guasa Ambonii]

Nimeshuka penye motokali kisha nikaenda upande wa abiria na kumfungulia mlango wife jambo hili limemvutia dada mmoja bila kusita kaja na kunambia "kaka ningepata bahati ya kuolewa na mwanaume kama wewe ningeringa sana yaani mpaka unamfungulia mlango wa gari mkeo "kimoyo moyo nikasema angejua kuwa huu mlango ni mbovu mpaka ufungue kwa nje sijui angesemaje!

 

[kajojo]

*I saw two Cockroach mating(sex).* *I wanted to spray DOOM and I thought twice. Maybe he has been chasing her for years, and she has been eating all his money without allowing him to get down there, I'm a human I have a good heart, so I let him enjoy... But as I was leaving*,
*I got a second thought.What if he was raping her ......am confused*
What should I do?[emoji23][emoji23]


_#wisdom is killing me_

 

[Gordita]

 

[carbamazepine]

Naomba urudi nyumbani kule puliiizi

 

[Gordita]

Naomba urudi nyumbani kule puliiizi

On my way

 

[mgogoone]

Kipofu aliingia mgahawani na kuketi kwenye kiti.Mmiliki wa mgahawa akaja kumuuliza kipofu unataka chakula gani au nikuLetee menu uode?Kipofu akajibu mimi sioni ila niletee kijiko kichafu ninuse halafu nitaoda.Mmiliki akamletea kijiko kichafu.Kipofu akanusa Halafu akasema mmm wali maharage niletee.Kipofu akala.Mara ya pili akaja mgahawani akaomba kijiko kichafu akanusa akasema mmmm Ugali nyama niletee.Mara ya tatu Kipofu akaja tena.Mmiliki akamwambia Mke wake Rose
Leo nataka kumkomesha huyu Kipofu anajifanya anajuwa kunusanusa.Mmiliki akamwambia Rose chukua hichi kijiko kiingize kwenye chupi yako Halafu nipe.Rose a kafanya kama alivyo agizwa.Mmiliki akachukua kijiko akampelekea Kipofu.Kipofu alivyo nusa akanusa Tena
Akamwambia Mmiliki kumbe Rose anafanya kazi hapa!!

 

[stable woman]

Kipofu aliingia mgahawani na kuketi kwenye kiti.Mmiliki wa mgahawa akaja kumuuliza kipofu unataka chakula gani au nikuLetee menu uode?Kipofu akajibu mimi sioni ila niletee kijiko kichafu ninuse halafu nitaoda.Mmiliki akamletea kijiko kichafu.Kipofu akanusa Halafu akasema mmm wali maharage niletee.Kipofu akala.Mara ya pili akaja mgahawani akaomba kijiko kichafu akanusa akasema mmmm Ugali nyama niletee.Mara ya tatu Kipofu akaja tena.Mmiliki akamwambia Mke wake Rose
Leo nataka kumkomesha huyu Kipofu anajifanya anajuwa kunusanusa.Mmiliki akamwambia Rose chukua hichi kijiko kiingize kwenye chupi yako Halafu nipe.Rose a kafanya kama alivyo agizwa.Mmiliki akachukua kijiko akampelekea Kipofu.Kipofu alivyo nusa akanusa Tena
Akamwambia Mmiliki kumbe Rose anafanya kazi hapa!!

Dub kipofu ametisha

 

[Mkuu wa Kibiti]

Kipofu aliingia mgahawani na kuketi kwenye kiti.Mmiliki wa mgahawa akaja kumuuliza kipofu unataka chakula gani au nikuLetee menu uode?Kipofu akajibu mimi sioni ila niletee kijiko kichafu ninuse halafu nitaoda.Mmiliki akamletea kijiko kichafu.Kipofu akanusa Halafu akasema mmm wali maharage niletee.Kipofu akala.Mara ya pili akaja mgahawani akaomba kijiko kichafu akanusa akasema mmmm Ugali nyama niletee.Mara ya tatu Kipofu akaja tena.Mmiliki akamwambia Mke wake Rose
Leo nataka kumkomesha huyu Kipofu anajifanya anajuwa kunusanusa.Mmiliki akamwambia Rose chukua hichi kijiko kiingize kwenye chupi yako Halafu nipe.Rose a kafanya kama alivyo agizwa.Mmiliki akachukua kijiko akampelekea Kipofu.Kipofu alivyo nusa akanusa Tena
Akamwambia Mmiliki kumbe Rose anafanya kazi hapa!!

Huu ni utani wa ngumi huu

 

[Rama junior]

Hahaha

 

[Foxhound]

Kipofu aliingia mgahawani na kuketi kwenye kiti.Mmiliki wa mgahawa akaja kumuuliza kipofu unataka chakula gani au nikuLetee menu uode?Kipofu akajibu mimi sioni ila niletee kijiko kichafu ninuse halafu nitaoda.Mmiliki akamletea kijiko kichafu.Kipofu akanusa Halafu akasema mmm wali maharage niletee.Kipofu akala.Mara ya pili akaja mgahawani akaomba kijiko kichafu akanusa akasema mmmm Ugali nyama niletee.Mara ya tatu Kipofu akaja tena.Mmiliki akamwambia Mke wake Rose
Leo nataka kumkomesha huyu Kipofu anajifanya anajuwa kunusanusa.Mmiliki akamwambia Rose chukua hichi kijiko kiingize kwenye chupi yako Halafu nipe.Rose a kafanya kama alivyo agizwa.Mmiliki akachukua kijiko akampelekea Kipofu.Kipofu alivyo nusa akanusa Tena
Akamwambia Mmiliki kumbe Rose anafanya kazi hapa!!

[emoji23] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji23] [emoji23] nahisi huyo mmiliki alizimia[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377]