Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Freyzem]

Nimenunua popcorns nile nikicheki movie ka watoto wakishua wanavyofanyaga.Sasa hata introduction ya movie haijaisha nishafyeka kila kitu!Ningenunua tu miwa.

[emoji276][emoji276][emoji276]


[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[juve pauly]

Hivi ni njia gani yakufanya ili mtu awe anaona huu uzi kila saa maana unapoteaga

USubscribe kwa hapo juu aisee

 

[Foxhound]

Jamaa karudi alfajiri nyumbani kwake kamkuta mkewe kishaamka anajitayarisha kwenda kazini:
JAMAA: Za asubuhii mamaaa
MKE: Nzuri tu superman
JAMAA: Samahani nilipata pancha nikashindwa kuacha gari
wangeiba vitu
MKE: Ahha sawa Superman
JAMAA: We vipi mbona umeng'ang'ania kuniita superman
MKE: Ni superman tu huwa anavaa suruali ndani chupi nje, au hujajiona?
[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Freyzem]

Nipo kwenye daladala afu pembeni yngu limekaa jamaa...... bila ta aibu linasoma chats zangu zote[emoji35]
Nkaamua kuweka front camera ndo tupo tunaangaliana [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Nelson nely]

wenye vi-tecno vyetu sasa....kusubscribe kwa juu ndo wapi?pale kwenye exit?

 

[username1]

wenye vi-tecno vyetu sasa....kusubscribe kwa juu ndo wapi?pale kwenye exit?

Hapo hapo mkuu

 

[stickvibration]

*CAMERAMAN WA ENZI HIZO....* [emoji57][emoji57]

Makamera man walikuwa majeuri
kishenzi yaani! Kwanza unakuta hii
Kamera ina likamba fulani jeusi
inaning'inizwa shingoni.....
Kameraman ana kabaskeli kake hapa...
nyuma kana begi lina picha za watu ambao hawajamaliza madeni.
Kamera man anakupiga picha leo
anakwambia picha yako utaipata panapo
majaaliwa mkanda ukijaa... unaweza
kusubiri miezi miwili...
Enzi hizo kamera man ndiye anayekupangia pozi gani ukae ili upigwe....
Kamera man anampanga hadi baba yako
mzazi kwenye picha hahahahah! Baba
anakuwa mpoleeee! Kamera man anapita na kabaskeli kake
watu wanamuita anaringa huyoooo!....
ukute msimu wa sikukuu mnaweka oda
kwa kameraman wiki mbili kabla....... akija
anaanza kwanza kula pilau na soda yake
ipo amehifadhiwa.... baada ya hapo ndo anapiga picha......
Enzi hizo picha inatoka umefumba
macho, na unailipia... sio siku hizi mtu
anapiga picha mia anachagua moja ndo
anaipost mtandaoni......
*Enzi hizo sisi watoto* *tukililia picha tunapigwa* *flash kilio kinaisha*
*hapohapo.......* [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]

 

[Josaje Mtui]

Hahaha, huu mwezi wa valentine una maneno..!

Girl: My love namis kula kuku
Boy: Kwani wewe ni mwewe?

Hapo ni nyama kwa nyama

 

[Josaje Mtui]

Unaamua kwenda ukweni kuwasalimia inafika usiku wanakupa chumba cha kulala unabanwa haja ndogo usiku unaamua kuamka kwenda chooni bahati mbaya unaingia jikoni kwa kuwa taa imezimwa unaparamia viombo vinaanguka ile hujui nini cha kufanya mara taa inawashwa kungalia mi mama mkwe anakwambia kama hukushiba siungesema tu baba......!
Hapo ndio utajua ukweni si kwenu

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] hatari sana hapo nikuminya batani ya ukimya tu kiroho safi...

 

[username1]

*HABARI NJEMA*
Habari njema kwa mtandao wa Vodacom wanakuletea kifurushi cha " Military Bundle" Unapata GB 500 na dakika 1,500 kwa Tshs 500
Jinsi ya kufanya tembelea Kambi ya jeshi iliyopo karibu na wewe ingia ndani uliza nimekuja kujiunga bando la Jeshi[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Freyzem]

Ninakama miez miwil hv sijawah kufagia ghetto
wala kufua shuka bi mkubwa kanisema mpaka
kachoka, jana nipo zangu kitaan nikakuta cm
yangu inaita namba ngen kupokea nasikia sauti
tamu ya mtoto wakike kuuliza nan ananiambia
neema jiran yetu akaniambia Leo anatakakuja
ghetto kusoma nikafurah balaa. Leo nimeamka
nikapiga deki nikafua mashuka nikatoa mauchafu
hadi juu ya bati daaa mother ananicheka kinoma
huku anasema mtoto neema kanipatia na uchafu
wangu hapa nimempigia cm neema namuuliza
kama anakuja ananiambia nimkome alitumwa na
mama yangu tu ili nifue mashuka na kufanya
usafi ghetto eti nimezid uchafu.Hivi nnavyo kuwambia narudisha uchafu wote ndani! Sipendagi ujunga mimi [emoji57][emoji57][emoji57]

 

[Foxhound]

Ukitaka kujua Mungu mkubwa angalia mfano wa Dar Kweli siku zote tunachota maji nje kuingiza ndani lakini siku izi tunachota maji ndani kumwaga nje [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]

 

[Foxhound]

Chukua sentensi ya kwenye mwezi uliozaliwa unganisha kwenye tarehe kisha malizia na mwaka kisha andika hapo chini yoote.

SELECT A MONTH
JAN: I spit
FEB: I killed
MAR: I slept with
APR: I raped
MAY: I slapped
JUN: I hugged
JUL: I played with
AUG: I jumped on
SEP: I got drunk with
OCT: I need
NOV: I kissed
DEC: I love

ELECT A DAY

01- Someone
02- a donkey
03- a monkey
04- a baboon
05- an elephant
06- my cousin
07- my girlfriend/boyfriend
08- Ronaldo
09- Nicky Minaj
10- a clown
11- Chris Brown
12- a virgin
13- a hobo
14- a genius
15- a gorilla
16- a drunkard
17- a pig
18- a model
19- nobody
20- my dog
21- my first love
22- my ex
23- an old man
24- a dinosaur
25- Kim Kardashian
26- a prostitute
27- the lecturer
28- my best friend
29- a cat
30- an old friend
31- an idiot

SELECT THE YEAR OF BIRTH
*1980*- in a bar
*1981*- in a car park
*1982*- in a dirty pond
*1983*- in an ocean
*1984*- in a police van
*1985*- in a garage
*1986*- in a forest
*1987*- in a swimming pool
*1988*- in a toilet
*1989*- in a garden
*1990*- in a hotel room
*1991*- in a bus
*1992*- in a taxi
*1993*- on my bed
*1994*- in the river
*1995*- in our room
*1996*- on thr playground
*1997*- with out my pants
*1998*- in my house
*1999*- with my eyes open
*2000*- but I'm lying
*2001*- with my eyes closed
*2002*- under the bed
*2003*- up the tree

SEND ME YOUR SENTENCE[emoji85] [emoji85] [emoji85] [emoji85] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[niah]

Welldone bother,

Meaning?????

 

[Foxhound]

Nilishawahi kuwa single mpaka ikafika kipindi najitext kwa simu nyingine "Baby umeamkaje" Then nakwenda kujijibu "Nimeamka salama honey sijui wewe" Hapo ndio nilipo kuja kujua kwanini Iddi Amin na ukauzu wake wote aliitwa DADA! [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[nsekwa]

Nimenunua popcorns nile nikicheki movie ka watoto wakishua wanavyofanyaga.Sasa hata introduction ya movie haijaisha nishafyeka kila kitu!Ningenunua tu miwa.

[emoji276][emoji276][emoji276]


[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

We kicha kwelikweli

 

[MANI]

Nimepita kwa jirani nikaona panya anajigonga kwenye mlango wa jirani yangu anataka kuingia, ikabidi nipige hodi jamaa kufungua mlango tu panya kaingia mimi nikaondoka kwani nishamsaidia panya eti.

 

[Mdudu Wa Masala]

Asilimia 98 ya watu wafupi huwa hawapunguzi urefu wa jeans zao.Huzikunja kwa chini kwa matumaini kwamba ipo siku watarefuka wazikunjue jeans zao.

HII INAITWA IMANI.

 

[NDESA BOY]

Daa aisee mbavu zangu mie

 

[NDESA BOY]

Haha ha ha ha mbavu zanguuu