Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Mwifwa · May 19, 2017

Maisha yamekaza hadi unamuuliza mkeo kama ana boyfriend awakopeshe laki ? Na stress ni pale anapokujibu ngoja nimuulizie?⚰⚰"
...niko kwa wakala hapa tunatoa kwa uchungu...

MWANAWET · May 19, 2017

Freyzem said:
Marafiki wawili*(Elias na Ben)* walikuwa wanatembea mtaani akatokea mwanamke akarusha busu kwa mmojawapo kupitia dirishani katika jengo la ghorofa tatu.

Wakaanza kujadiliana kama ifuatavyo:

*Ben:* Mwanaume. Muone yule mrembo amenirushia busu

*Elias:* Kidume, tafadhali achana na huyo mwanamke, usimjali..

_(baadae yule mwanamke akamuashiria aende)_

*Ben:* Mwanaume yule mwanamke ameniita!

*Elias:* Rafiki yangu, usiende. Nakutafadhalisha.

*Ben:* Kwa nini unaniambia nisiende Wakati mrembo kama yule ananiita? Huo ni wivu

*Elias:* Ben, Ninakutafadhalisha tena, usiende, tafadhali usiende kule _(akihisi kutotiliwa maanani)_

_(Rafiki yake alimpuuza na alienda kwa yule mwanamke, mwanamke alishuka kukutana naye na wakapanda juu. Ghafla wakiwa wanataka kuanza taratibu za kula uroda, wakasikia mlio WA gari getini)_ .. [emoji344][emoji344]

*Lady:* _(akiangalia kupitia dirishani)_
Oooh! Yule ni mume wangu!!

*Ben:* Mama yangu !
Nipo matatani, kweli ? ..!!

*Lady:* Usiwe na khofu, jifanye kuwa Dobi na anza kupiga pasi hizo nguo

(akimuonyesha lundo la nguo)

_(Ben alitumia masaa matano kukamilisha kunyoosha zile nguo kwa sababu yule mume hakutoka tena siku ile)_

_(Siku iliyofuatia Ben alikwenda kwa Rafiki yake)_

*Ben:* Kaka, unaweza kuamini Jana nimepiga pasi nguo kwa masaa matano???

*Elias:* Lakini nilikwambia usiende. Nguo zote hizo ulizonyoosha, *Nilizifua Mimi Juzi!!*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

*When an experienced person speaks ... [emoji101]you must listen..!*

proskaeur · May 19, 2017

Mwifwa said:
Maisha yamekaza hadi unamuuliza mkeo kama ana boyfriend awakopeshe laki ? Na stress ni pale anapokujibu ngoja nimuulizie?⚰⚰"
...niko kwa wakala hapa tunatoa kwa uchungu...

[emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] ,,, akianza kuzidai usilalamike

gkinabo · May 19, 2017

proskaeur said:
[emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] ,,, akianza kuzidai usilalamike

Hizo hawezi dai tena,si wanashirikiana mke?

Numbisa · May 19, 2017

Bwana alikua ameketi na wake zake wawili sitting room waangalia TV pamoja. Akawa anasikia kiu lakini akaona ni hishima kumtuma yule bibi mdogo. Alipokua amekwenda kuleta hiyo glasi ya maji, bibi wa kwanza akaanza "Sasa ndio wanionesha nini! kama ni maji basi sote twajua kuteka. Ama wataka kumwangalia mwendo tu akienda na akirudi kuni dhalilisha mimi. Sawa lakini mungu yuko, dhalimu mkubwa wewe huna uadilifu mwanamume wewe basi tu" Bibi mdogo akirudi na glasi yake ya maji nae akaanza "Haya musha zungumza hiyo siri yenu! najua ulikua waniondoa ki hikima mupate kunisengenya lakini inshallah mungu atawashinda na dhulma zenu hizo" Heri angebaki na hio kiu yake maskini .

Numbisa · May 19, 2017

cosie1993 · May 19, 2017

Freyzem said:
Mwalimu kaniulizaa kama mtoto mdogo anaitwa mchanga... Je mtu mkubwa anaitwaje? ... Nikamjibu anaitwa kokoto..... Ameniitaa staff room labda atakuwa ameniitia chai

Huyu mwalimu ana roho nzuri sio kama mwl Msigwa
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

tena chai ya moto.

mathewa · May 19, 2017

Rogie said:
If...
99 is: Ninety nine,
88 is: Eighty eight,
77 is: Seventy seven,
66 is: Sixty six,
55 is: Fifty five,
44 is: Forty four,
33 is: Thirty three,
22 is: Twenty two,
Why 11 not Onety one?

Wazungu msitufanye Vilaza....!! [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Mungu anawaona

Ilitakiwa iwe Tenty one

stickvibration · May 19, 2017

JAMAA,,, hapa ni kituo cha polic???,,,,[emoji67]‍[emoji439]FFU, ，ｎｄｉｙｏ tukusaidie nini????JAMAA,, mimi ni kipofu[emoji58],,,,, [emoji67]‍[emoji439]FFU,,,sasa unataka tukununulie macho[emoji102]!!???? JAMAA,,,hapana[emoji847] nataka nifanye fujo ili nione[emoji15],,,, [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Freyzem · May 19, 2017

Niko zangu home nimetulia, mara naskia jamaa Anasema ;
Nauza vifuniko vya asali
Nimetoka nje kuangalia kumbe anauza
chupi na sidiria
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Mozu1991 · May 19, 2017

Freyzem said:
Marafiki wawili*(Elias na Ben)* walikuwa wanatembea mtaani akatokea mwanamke akarusha busu kwa mmojawapo kupitia dirishani katika jengo la ghorofa tatu.

Wakaanza kujadiliana kama ifuatavyo:

*Ben:* Mwanaume. Muone yule mrembo amenirushia busu

*Elias:* Kidume, tafadhali achana na huyo mwanamke, usimjali..

_(baadae yule mwanamke akamuashiria aende)_

*Ben:* Mwanaume yule mwanamke ameniita!

*Elias:* Rafiki yangu, usiende. Nakutafadhalisha.

*Ben:* Kwa nini unaniambia nisiende Wakati mrembo kama yule ananiita? Huo ni wivu

*Elias:* Ben, Ninakutafadhalisha tena, usiende, tafadhali usiende kule _(akihisi kutotiliwa maanani)_

_(Rafiki yake alimpuuza na alienda kwa yule mwanamke, mwanamke alishuka kukutana naye na wakapanda juu. Ghafla wakiwa wanataka kuanza taratibu za kula uroda, wakasikia mlio WA gari getini)_ .. [emoji344][emoji344]

*Lady:* _(akiangalia kupitia dirishani)_
Oooh! Yule ni mume wangu!!

*Ben:* Mama yangu !
Nipo matatani, kweli ? ..!!

*Lady:* Usiwe na khofu, jifanye kuwa Dobi na anza kupiga pasi hizo nguo

(akimuonyesha lundo la nguo)

_(Ben alitumia masaa matano kukamilisha kunyoosha zile nguo kwa sababu yule mume hakutoka tena siku ile)_

_(Siku iliyofuatia Ben alikwenda kwa Rafiki yake)_

*Ben:* Kaka, unaweza kuamini Jana nimepiga pasi nguo kwa masaa matano???

*Elias:* Lakini nilikwambia usiende. Nguo zote hizo ulizonyoosha, *Nilizifua Mimi Juzi!!*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

*When an experienced person speaks ... [emoji101]you must listen..!*

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] kutaman kati c kuzur

Mozu1991 · May 19, 2017

Dragoon said:
Siku moja John na Beka walikuwa porini wanakunya, jinsi ya kutawaza ikawa inshu.
Beka kamuuliza Joni... "hivi joni mavi huwa yanang'ang'ania kwenye nguo zako?"
Joni akajibu kwa msisitizo.... "Hapana... hapana beka, haijawahi tokea mavi yakagandia kwenye nguo zangu.
Basi beka kwa haraka sana akachamba kwa kutumia shati la joni..

Beka weeeeee hzo bangi za msumbiji hzo

Snipes · May 19, 2017

njaa sio nzuri inaweza ikakusababisha ukala makofi

Mdudu Wa Masala · May 19, 2017

kajojo said:
MAMBO KUMI ( 10 ) NILIYOJIFUNZA KIPINDI HIKI CHA MAGUFURI
1 ) Kumbe unaweza kushinda njaa bila kufa
2 )Kumbe unaweza kubeba chakula na kwenda nacho kazini.
3 )Bila bodaboda, Bila bajaji kumbe unaweza kutembea na ukafika Kazini.
4 )Tafadhali nipigie kumbe ni huduma ya msingi.
5 )Nyama ni mbaya kwa Afya yako.
6 )Jiko la mkaa kumbe linapika chakula kizuri sana.
7 )Ukisaga Mahindi yasiyokobolewa kumbe yanatoa unga safii.
8 )Maji ya kuchemsha kumbe ni matamu sana.
9 )Ugali pia kumbe ni breakfast. (kifungua kinywa).
10 )Ukioga na sabuni ya Kipande, kumbe bado unaKuwa msafi.
AHSANTE MAGUFURI UMENIFUNZA MENGI..

Utakula juhudi yako.

Lema James · May 19, 2017

lothrito said:
Kukaa Mtaani Bila Ajira...
Nimeenda Kwenye Interview Leo Ile Naingia Mlangoni Nikaambiwa "Wait Please" Nkajibu "65kg Sir"[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] *Sipendagi Maswali Mimi*

lothrito said:
Kukaa Mtaani Bila Ajira...
Nimeenda Kwenye Interview Leo Ile Naingia Mlangoni Nikaambiwa "Wait Please" Nkajibu "65kg Sir"[emoji23]emoji23[emoji23][emoji23] *Sipendagi Maswali Mimi*

stickvibration · May 19, 2017

*MENDE anamuogopa PANYA, PANYA anamuogopa sana PAKA, na PAKA anamwogopa MBWA...wakati huo huo MBWA anamwogopa MWANAUME na kumbe MWANAUME anamwogopa MWANAMKE...sasa hutaamini nikikwambia MWANAMKE anaogopa #MENDE#*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

WANAWAKE BANAA SOMETIME WANACHOSHA[emoji124][emoji124][emoji124]

Foxhound · May 19, 2017

Nani kasema kiswahili rahisi???? Hebu jaza nafasi zilizoachwa wazi kwa kutumia �NDIO� au �HAPANA�
1)............. mimi ni chizi
2)............. mimi ni bwege
3)............mimi sina akili

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Foxhound · May 19, 2017

Tigo Walianzisha Halichachi

Airtel Wakaiga Hatupimi

Voda Wakaiga Haliishi

Sasa Hivi Tigo Wameanzisha JAZA UJAZWE

Halotel na Wao Wameiga INGIZA UINGIZWE[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Airtel na Wao Washaiga RAMBA URAMBWE[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Vodacom na Wao Washaiga TIA UTIWE[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[emoji124][emoji124][emoji124][emoji124][emoji124]Hapa Nilipo Naenda Kusajir Lain ya ZANTEL Maana Sipendagi Ujinga mimi[emoji34] [emoji34] [emoji34] [emoji34]

proskaeur · May 19, 2017

Pale demu anapokuletea mashauzi ,,,kwa sababu na ww hupend ujinga, unarafut njia ya kumchafua…!!![emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1]

xYz07 · May 19, 2017

Nilikua napita maeneo fulani saizi, nikamsikia jamaa anamwambia wife wake "baby delete your clothes, i want to log in", itabidi nisimame ili nisikie vizuri password

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

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