Dah pia hii mada imenikumbusha mbali sana, tukio ambalo najutia na likabiharibu kabisa psychologically na hadi leo sijapona na sjui taponaje, but one day tatafuta psychologist anisaidie.
Nimeishi na kulelewa na father pamoja na step Mother tangu nikiwa na 4 years, sababu mzee na mother waliachana (hawakuwahi kuoana ila walizaa tu) then kila.mtu akaendelea na maisha yake, so tulisaliwa wawili na my brother, walivoachana mama akamchukua ny brother (sjui why mzee hakumpenda) na mzee akanichukua mimi , mzee alioa mke mwingine na mother nae aliolewa kwingine kwa kifupi ni kua sikuwahi kuishi na mama yangu mzazi kwa muda mrefu wala brother angu kwa hiyo hatukua na that strong bond japo mother alikua anatravel anakuja Mkoa tulioko anafikia kwenye hotel alafu mzee ananidrop tunasalimiana tutakaa hata for 3 days then anarudi kwa familia yake.
Mwaka flani mzee akafariki, then sad enough mume wa mama yangu pia alifariki mwaka ulioisha kabla ya mzee. Vurugu za ndugu hapa na pale msibani kugombea mali na nini ikabidi step mother ajitoe sababu alikua na mali zake na nyumba zake akaogopa akabidi amcall mama aje akae na mimi (wakati huo kulikua na watoto wengine wawili wa rafiki zake mzee ambao mzee alikua akiwasomesha pia) basi mama akaja ili mali zisipotee ikabidi ahamie kabisa mkoa tuliopo, akahamishia na biashara zake huku. Nilifurahi sana sababu pia alikua na watoto wengine nikajua tayari nina ndugu zangu wengine,.so i was very happy kabisa.
Baada ya muda kidogo nikajikuta upendo wangu mkubwa uko kwa step mother, sababu nilikua naona kama vile ndio mama yangu sababu tulikua na strong bond na alinipenda sana, mother mzazi alikua very strict sana hadi nikaanza kumchukia. Kwanza huyo brother pia alikua muhuni muhuni kiasi nikakuta one day kachukua video game yangu kauza akasingizia wezi walikua, yani wezi waingie getini, waingie ndani pia, kuna vitu vingi vya thamani eti aingie aibe play station 2, nikaanza kumchukia pia.
One day bwana nilikutana na rafiki mmoja nilimpenda sana, ni mdada.ananizidi ila nilimpenda na.alikua anasoma chuo me nipo primary hapo [emoji16], alikua ananirubuni sana nampea vipesa pesa sometimes nafungua pochi ya mother natoa pesa ili tu nikampe yule dem. Na tuliwahi kusex kabisa ila niseme tu alikua ananibaka manake ni mkubwa me wakati niko na 13 years yeye ana 26. Siku moja akaniambia amepoteza simu yake, basi akawa anasema nisaidie nipate simu basi [emoji23] hani mdada mkubwa ananishawishi nimtaftie pesa abuy simu anasema mdanganye mama ako akupee pesa uniletee, basi nikawaza nikasema brother ako na simu, naikumbuka sana wakati huo zile simu za kufunua zina scree nzuri na internet, nikasema huyu fala aliniibia game yangu ngoja nimkomeshe, nikachukua simu yakw alikua anacharge nikamoelekea yule dada, akafurahi, kumbe bwana mfanyakazi aliniona nimeishika wakati natoka nnje, brother akaanza kutafta simu yake haioni, akachanganyikiwa naskia, hapo mama katoja job pia naskia wakatafta balaa nani alikuja home maybe wameiba basi housegirl akasema lakini nilimuona mnyakyusa ipinda ameishika ameenda nayo nnje. Wakanisubiri, sitasahau hiyo siku ambayo imebadirisha kabisa maisha yangu.
Walinichangia wote mama na brother kunipiga nioneshe simu iko wapi, imagine walinifungia kwa chumba changu, wakanichangia walinipiga kamq hawanijua kisa ile simu, mbaya zaidi bro alitumia nondo na mama akawa hadi ananikaba pumzi mpaka nahisi nakufa, nilipigwa kipivo ambacho sikuwahi kuimagine, then nilipoona hapa takufa sababu nilianza kutoka damu puani nikawaambia nilipopeleka simu, nikawaambia wachukue simu yangu number nimesave flani wamcall ndio ako na simu. wakaniacha wakaondoka chumbani kwangu, kumbe nilikua nineumia sana, nikawa nashindwa kupumua, usingizi ukanipitia hapo hapo chini, na baridi la tyles ila nikalala chini hadi asubuhi, wala hakuna aliekuja kunitizama, nikashindwa kunyanyuka, nikajivuta hadi kwenye ukuta, nikaona damu puani zimeanza tena kutoka, mwili unauma kila mahali, nikaanza kukohoa , dah nikajua nakufa pale.jilipianza kukohoa damu, housegirl alipoona sitoki chumbani saa saba tayari akaja kunicheck, alipanick sana akawapugia simu waje wanipeleke hospital wakamjibu nini sjui, ila hawakuja, ikabidi aende nyumba inayofuata akamuita jirani, akaja , daha alipoona hali yangu akachukua gati faster akaniwahisha hospital, akawacall nduo wakajua serious mama akaja amepanick hadi analia , ananibembeleza, nimelala sijielewi hospital, nikapigwa xray hapo, nakumbuka dr anasema bana usitoe pumzi ila nashindwa , after kustruggle ndio akaweza kuchukua picha nzuri ya xray. Majibu hapo dr wakasema mapafu yanechubuka na yameanza kujaa damu , na pia kichwani kuna damage sjui nini , wqkaulizwa what happened , mama akasema nilikua napanda kwenye mti nikaanguka[emoji34][emoji34][emoji34] huku analia, doctor akasema hapo wakiniacha naeza kufa sababu mapafu yanazidi kujaa damu, wakanipa rufaa kwenda bugando, kesho yake tukasafiri faster hadi mwanza na tukafika bugando , nikapokelewa , nakumbuka nililazwa juu kabisa sijui ghorofa ya ngapi, chumba kikubwa cha private tuko wagonjwa wawili tu mmoja mbaba hadi leo namkumbuka nae alipata ajari ya gari na ameungua mwili wote, hata hajalala kitandani ila wamekua kama ametundikwa kitaalamu sana. Nami nikalazwa na kuekea ndoo pembeni ili niendelee kutema damu ,Wakaja wazungu flani wa doctor wakanifanyia xray tena na vipimo kibao wakasema is too complicated how that happened,ila mama akashkilia tu nilianguka kwenye mti, to make story short is just mirracle kupona ilikua tu mirracle sababu walitaka hata nipelekwe india but alitokea dr mmoja usiku kama saa nane amevaa kama masister (hadi leo najiuliza alikua dr ama malaika?) alikua kama mzungu ama muhindi i dont know, akanifata kwa bed akasema tu hebu tusali mtoto wangu, akasari pale after kusali akanipa two pills, akasema meza na ulale, nikameza nikalala, you cant believe kesho asubuhi niliamka sikohoi damu , niliamka na nguvu hadi nikashangaa, kwa mala ya kwanza nikatoka kitandani nikatembea just like that, wakaja madoctor wakaenda kunicheck tena wakasema mbona mapafu yamekua sawa , basi nikapoba just like that na safari ya India ikaishia hapo, nikawahadishia kilichotokea wakawa wanaulizana dr nani alikuhudumia huyo hata hawaelewi.
But after hilo tukio nikamchukia sana mama yangu na brother angu, hadi leo napoandika hivi, siwezi hata feel comfortable kuishi nao, hata nyumbani hatujaishi sana wote, nimesoma boarding school tangu hapo so hatujawahi ishi hata for two month pamoja, hata likizo nilikua naenda hata kwa frineds family tu ili kuwaepuka, kiukweli nashindwa kuelewa , yani nawachukia lafu siwachukii, nawapenda halafu siwapendi, yani hadi leo siwezi ongea na mama hata for 3 minutes kwenye simu, tulivotoka hospita aliniomva samahani na tukasameheana lakini nineshindwa. Nikiwa mbali nao nawakumbuka sana sana yani vibaya mno, hata nataka kuwapigia, ila nikiwaona tu moyo wangu unakua hauna upendo tena, yani sjui nielezee vipi mtu aelewe, manake hata mimi sielewi. Yani nimejitahidi sana kuwapenda tukiwa wote ila nashindwa, mama ananijali sana na ananipenda sana sana ila hata siku nilipomwambia hiyo hali alilia sana hakua na la kufanya. Kiukweli hasa brother angu namchukia sana sana, yani hata nikiona picha yake hakuna upendo kabisa moyoni, sometimes natamani kuwa kama wengine wanavoenjoy na family na wazazi wao kwa furaha ila nashindwa, nafeel very happy nikiwa peke angu ama na watu wengine ila sio mama wala brother. I hope tasaidika one day niwe normal, nimekua affected psychologically na inaniuma sana, ila nimejaribu nimeshindwa na miaka inazidi kuenda, na mpenda sana mama yangu nikiwa peke angu ila nikiwa na yeye moyoni nakua sina furaha kabisa, na kadri anavozidi kunipenda na kunijali , kujaribu kufanya nifurahi basi mimi ndio nazidi kukasoroshwa hadi sometimes naona kabisa anakua analia kindani ndani anahuzunika.
Wazazi muwaadhibu watoto kuendan na umri na pia kwa umakini sana, usipige mtoto kama unaua nyoka, unaeza kuua mtu ama kuleta shida zingine , sometimes kupiga is not a solution at all, handle things kimakini sana. I wish nisingechukua ile simu maybe nisingepatwa na haya ila ndio vile. I will be normal one day for sure.
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