Life after a very sweet love/relationship

[TIMING]

Lizzy mtu aliyeacha mara ya kwanza ni mwepesi ku move on mahusiano yanayofata yakimboa tena, sababu aliweza tu kuthubutu kufanya kitu ambacho wengi wanashindwa kukifanya, then mtihani anakuwa amemaliza, hapo ndio nilimaanisha mimi,kuna wanaojifunza sana kutokana na makosa, but hata wakiacha au kuachwa maumivu si kama yale ya kwanza, wa kwanza ni wa kwanza tu

Wait a minute BB

Hivi kuacha mara nyingi ndio kusema huna furaha?? sio kwamba you have more options and you are a happier person for moving on when you want?

 

[Tangawizi]

Dah Mbu... Maneno mazito sana

Lakini kama kawaida, sisi ni human beings and sometimes we got soo sunk into the swamp of love that deep inside you know that, it is slowly developing a monster or a hooligan in you.

And out of denials, you find yourself becoming mroe "creative" and finally meet the outside world in a very flashy and exciting manner... in the end rather than completeley remembering the primamry role in our love life, we forget all the good work we did and end up craving for more of the "fiesta" we enjoy outside there

There comes a time where you dont miss the one you love, you dont care, you cant even think of spending time together unless there is a social responisbility around you

Yet, the pain/struggle in understanding all these lead to a menace........... both ways

NOW MY DECISION IN THESE CIRCUMNSTANCES WOULD BE TO CALL QUIT... WOULD YOU HANDLE IT DIFFERENTLY?

I am not speaking from experience but the bad boy in me is strongly advising me to move on... and for now i dont have even 25% of reasons, but just my body and mind dont want to sweat anymore

MTM,
Because you know what the problem is, it is easy for you to adress it. Kweli kabisa mapenzi mara nyingi yakifika sehemu fulani tunayafanya yanakuwa kama mazoea and we tend to take for granted things that any wise person would never have done that!

 

[TIMING]

MTM,
Because you know what the problem is, it is easy for you to adress it. Kweli kabisa mapenzi mara nyingi yakifika sehemu fulani tunayafanya yanakuwa kama mazoea and we tend to take for granted things that any wise person would never have done that!

Agreed mkuu, but what if one part does not take love for granted and the other do so???

please advice

 

[BlackBerry]

Wait a minute BB

Hivi kuacha mara nyingi ndio kusema huna furaha?? sio kwamba you have more options and you are a happier person for moving on when you want?

hapana aisee ku move on mara nyingi mie nachukulia kama u selfishness fulani,ila wakati mwingine yatupasa hatuna budi, maji yamefika shingoni, some time tunasucrifice furaha kwa ajili ya tuwapendao nilisoma kuna mmber alisema huu msemo niliukubali sana,imagine unakuwa na raha wewe peke yako, watoto wako maybe wanne na mama yao wanasurfer maisha yao yote, then at the end of the day unajiuliza, hivi hii furaha nayotafuta ni ipi?

Unakosa jibu MTM, maisha yapo yaleyale, bia zilezile,wanawake walewale,unafikia mahala unatamani urudi nyuma but huwezi tena kumbe nafasi ishachukuliwa

 

[Rodelite]

Wakuu,

Many of us have at least once enjoyed the best out of love life... I have had my best moments as well!!

I am just wondering how can one prepare for a life after the person you have loved and enjoyed life with for 10+ years, have you ever imagined how it feels?

MTM

I am in a situation like this one Mkuu...It's quite hard to erase the memories..and also painful to leave these memories...

 

[Tangawizi]

Agreed mkuu, but what if one part does not take love for granted and the other do so???

please advice

Well, kama ni wewe naamini solution iko karibu. Lakini kama ni mwenza wako, inabidi ujitahidi sana kuimprove communication ili kama ataona kuna sababu, azinduke usingizini. Mwisho wa siku mapenzi ya kweli yanahitaji wote wawili mshiriki haswaaa. Sio penzi la upande mmoja. Na cha kushangaza bwana, kila hatua tunayopiga we meet new people whom we think they could be the ones!mmmh! sasa tutakuwa tunabadili wapenzi kila asubuhi au ni tamaa zetu tu! Kama inashindikana kabisa nenda mdogo mdogo....naona watu wakizeeka kabisa, wakati viuongo vya mwikli vimeanza kusalimu amri na kutotoa usumbufu wa aina yoyote tena, huwa wawili hao wanapendana sana!! LOL

 

[Jasusi]

Issue hapa ni how to kill all the memories

Memories do not die. They just stay with you forever. Just live with them and cherish the good times.

 

[TIMING]

Memories do not die. They just stay with you forever. Just live with them and cherish the good times.

Rightly so mkuu

i think the motto here was to be even happier not to miss the oldies

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Dah Mbu... Maneno mazito sana

Lakini kama kawaida, sisi ni human beings and sometimes we got soo sunk into the swamp of love that deep inside you know that, it is slowly developing a monster or a hooligan in you.

And out of denials, you find yourself becoming more "creative" and finally meet the outside world in a very flashy and exciting manner... in the end rather than completely remembering the primary role in our love life, we forget all the good work we did and end up craving for more of the "fiesta" we enjoy outside there

There comes a time where you dont miss the one you love, you dont care, you cant even think of spending time together unless there is a social responsibility around you

Yet, the pain/struggle in understanding all these lead to a menace........... both ways

NOW MY DECISION IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD BE TO CALL QUIT... WOULD YOU HANDLE IT DIFFERENTLY?

I am not speaking from experience but the bad boy in me is strongly advising me to move on... and for now i dont have even 25% of reasons, but just my body and mind dont want to sweat anymore

MTM hiyo creativity unayojikuta unaifanya hata unakutana na outside world .............haiwezikuwa applied 'ndani' kusafeguard hizo 10 years za sweet love??

Frankly speaking sijaielewa (au nimegoma kuielewa) hii thread!! .......pengine nina matatizo kwenye medula yangu ambapo pia inawezekana ni kweli siko mzima maana kila nikijaribu kukumbuka japo miezi ya sweet love na Ex wangu naambulia 'blank screen' sasa sijui nilikuwa naforce, pretend au fake? kwa kweli sielewi au ndo kusema kitufe cha kumbukuza za good memories kimejam.......mwe!

 

[TIMING]

MTM hiyo creativity unayojikuta unaifanya hata unakutana na outside world .............haiwezikuwa applied 'ndani' kusafeguard hizo 10 years za sweet love??

Frankly speaking sijaielewa (au nimegoma kuielewa) hii thread!! .......pengine nina matatizo kwenye medula yangu ambapo pia inawezekana ni kweli siko mzima maana kila nikijaribu kukumbuka japo miezi ya sweet love na Ex wangu naambulia 'blank screen' sasa sijui nilikuwa naforce, pretend au fake? kwa kweli sielewi au ndo kusema kitufe cha kumbukuza za good memories kimejam.......mwe!

Kamanda... any form of creativity has its entry point,
you cant go to dinner while the restaurant is cloed or under rennovation
you start a story because you need to answer like ten questions about the end

And i dont want to believe that you have a blank screen on your back end... coz somehow i learnt (here-here) that there are a few memoirs

The biggest matter sweetheart ni ile fear of the unknown!!

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Nope just learning... new baraza in MMU raising the bar on MMU issues as well

Nothing personal

Duh afadhali maana temperature ilikuwa inapanda na kudrop kama bei ya Petrol Tanzania

 

[Ngwanakilala]

Nakuelewa MTM wakati mwengine relationship iliyoanza vizuri na kukupa raha for a very long time inafikia mahalia ambapo ni irreconciliable (point of no return) eg mwenzio anatembea nje wazi wazi na anataka talaka au ulienda kusoma ukarudi ukakuta kazaa/kazalishwa nje. You are left with no choice that is just a point of no return.

Mkuu hapo kutakuwa na maumivu makubwa ya moyo-major, severe, long term heart ache. One of the best way to overcome and heal ni kutulia na kutafuta mpenzi mwengine atakaekupa mapenzi na upendo utakaoweza kukuponya (kama alivyosema Lizzy). True love and time will help to heal a broken heart. Japokuwa maumivu bado yatakuwepo kwa kiasi fulani na sometimes aibu fulani eg kama wife wako kazalishwa nje etc. Its complicated mkuu.

 

[TIMING]

Nakuelewa MTM wakati mwengine relationship iliyoanza vizuri na kukupa raha for a very long time inafikia mahalia ambapo ni irreconciliable (point of no return) eg mwenzio anatembea nje wazi wazi na anataka talaka au ulienda kusoma ukarudi ukakuta kazaa/kazalishwa nje. You are left with no choice that is just a point of no return.

Mkuu hapo kutakuwa na maumivu makubwa ya moyo-major, severe, long term heart ache. One of the best way to overcome and heal ni kutulia na kutafuta mpenzi mwengine atakaekupa mapenzi na upendo utakaoweza kukuponya (kama alivyosema Lizzy). True love and time will help to heal a broken heart. Japokuwa maumivu bado yatakuwepo kwa kiasi fulani na sometimes aibu fulani eg kama wife wako kazalishwa nje etc. Its complicated mkuu.

Thanks Mkuu

i think tatizo letu kubwa ni ile fear ya kuonekana vipi nje na sio ndani ya moyo... we have been slaves of the people around us for far too long

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Kamanda... any form of creativity has its entry point,
you cant go to dinner while the restaurant is cloed or under rennovation
you start a story because you need to answer like ten questions about the end

And i dont want to believe that you have a blank screen on your back end... coz somehow i learnt (here-here) that there are a few memoirs

The biggest matter sweetheart ni ile fear of the unknown!!

Okay nimekuelewa but shushhhhhh its not easy meen!!

About Blank screen...believe me its true and its only recently that I diiscovered that for all those thought-good memories, I was 'making them'
Used to take ile screen yenye chengachenga na kuita good memories but now the network iko clear ndo I am realizing that they were not 'real'. I just question my 'lucky' under this sun....mhmmm!!

 

[TIMING]

Okay nimekuelewa but shushhhhhh its not easy meen!!

About Blank screen...believe me its true and its only recently that I diiscovered that for all those thought-good memories, I was 'making them'
Used to take ile screen yenye chengachenga na kuita good memories but now the network iko clear ndo I am realizing that they were not 'real'. I just question my 'lucky' under this sun....mhmmm!!

Let me just put this signpost here a little.. LOL

......Frankly Speaking If this is a dream, I just Wanna keep on dreaming...I Do Love You...S.M.L 2011
​

 

[Caroline Danzi]

MTM kinachokusibu ni kitu kidogo sana. Unaweka bad memories baadala ya nzuri kingine ni kwamba husamehi wala husahau. Ebu niambie what is beyond love? Kama Mungu aliupenda ulimwengu na kumtoa mwanae mpendwa afe msalabani kwa ajili yetu, why can't you forgive and forget. Kama

Kaa chini leo ukumbuke mambo yote mabaya uliyowahi kumfanyia mtu, kufanyiwa mwambie mungu wako ayatoe moyoni mwako ukimaanisha. Kesho ukija hapa umebadili msimamo wa maisha yako.

You only miss tolerance!

I pray for you this night!

 

[Dr Lizzy]

Lizzy mtu aliyeacha mara ya kwanza ni mwepesi ku move on mahusiano yanayofata yakimboa tena, sababu aliweza tu kuthubutu kufanya kitu ambacho wengi wanashindwa kukifanya, then mtihani anakuwa amemaliza, hapo ndio nilimaanisha mimi,kuna wanaojifunza sana kutokana na makosa, but hata wakiacha au kuachwa maumivu si kama yale ya kwanza, wa kwanza ni wa kwanza tu

BB nashukuru kwamba umeseme ni rahisi iwapo hayo mahusiano mengine YAKIMBOA!We huoni kwamba ni haki ya mtu yoyote yule kuondokana na mahusino ambayo yanamuondolea furaha yake?!

Mi bado ntapinga kwamba kuacha mara moja hakumfanyi mtu mwepesi wa kuacha mbeleni bali kunampa uelewa wa kwamba hana ulazima wa kuishi kwenye dunia isiyofikia matakwa yake.Ila itakapotokea akajikuta kwenye dunia inayompa furaha zaidi hata ya aliyotaka/tegemea utashangaa muachaji maarufu anageuka king‘ang‘anizi.

 

[AshaDii]

Dah Mbu... Maneno mazito sana

Lakini kama kawaida, sisi ni human beings and sometimes we got soo sunk into the swamp of love that deep inside you know that, it is slowly developing a monster or a hooligan in you.
And out of denials, you find yourself becoming mroe "creative" and finally meet the outside world in a very flashy and exciting manner... in the end rather than completeley remembering the primamry role in our love life, we forget all the good work we did and end up craving for more of the "fiesta" we enjoy outside there
There comes a time where you dont miss the one you love, you dont care, you cant even think of spending time together unless there is a social responisbility around you
Yet, the pain/struggle in understanding all these lead to a menace........... both ways
NOW MY DECISION IN THESE CIRCUMNSTANCES WOULD BE TO CALL QUIT... WOULD YOU HANDLE IT DIFFERENTLY?
I am not speaking from experience but the bad boy in me is strongly advising me to move on... and for now i dont have even 25% of reasons, but just my body and mind dont want to sweat anymore

MTM really don't know... The good thing is that we are both of us in marriages thus speaking out of experience... What i understand is that no matter how much a couple loves each other in the beginning of their relationship and then their eventual marriage they can never maintain that early vibe they had. At the end they are together because of all the different reasons than love - and in most cases it is worth it... Logically speaking you would have to call it quits! But realistically speaking you keep hanging on...

 

[Moderator]

Hapa sasa mbu umenichenga, you wish to persuade, and at the same time differences zingeendelea... what is that??? does it meaqn you wish for the differences to go on?

Mh...

mtm, ni jinsi ya kuzi accomodate hizo differences.The grass looks greener upande wa pili kumbe zimeficha nyoka! Be careful.

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Let me just put this signpost here a little.. LOL

......Frankly Speaking If this is a dream, I just Wanna keep on dreaming...I Do Love You...S.M.L 2011
​

For this.........I really mean it.!!! and it is not part of the memories