Life after a very sweet love/relationship

[BlackBerry]

Duh maneno mazito haya........so kuna uwezekano mkubwa kuwa watu wengi huingia kwenye dunia hii na kutoka pasipo kuexperience true love maishani mwao eh?!! Naogopa

Ndio MJ1 si umeona hata threads hapa ilisema mambo ya kuoana kwa kuoneana huruma, yaani mtu anaona kabisa love haipo lakini anaoa/olewa sababu tu kaonea mtu huruma, hii inaweza work kwa mwanamke, coz wanawake tunaweza fall on the process, wenzetu huwa tangu mwanzo wanajua wanataka nn

 

[TIMING]

And you say it is not personal?? Come on Pal.... Enways..
at least mention the three things tearing you down...

Once again... ni fasihi

Ok, kuna truth but today... as lonely as i could... here in the southern hemisphere it is winter!!! and coming from North to south in just 10 days is really a "kink" to me

...........while watching, all these thoughts came and i finally started this thread... the relevance is enormous but personalization could be less than 50%

vitu titatu vipo kwenye post #67... love, life and future

 

[TIMING]

Hiyo ni kweli kabisa. Na tusidhani kuwa wanaodumu kwenye ndoa 50 years kuwa ndoa zao zilikuwa na furaha kipindi chote. Wamedumu kwa kuwa waliweza kukabili challenges zao. Ukijua tu ya kuwa ndoa ni sacrifice hutadai divorce no mater what; you will work as hard as possible ku solve your differences.

Yes watoto wanaweza kuwa affected wakikulia nyumba yenye maugomvi. Lakini wana uwezekano mkubwa zaidi wa kuwa affected wakiishi na step parents.

Nilisoma mahali mtaalamu wa ndoa alikuwa anafanya experimental research akawauliza watu wamwambie ni familia gani kati ya zile alizorecord zili end up in divorce. Watu wakachague familia ambazo zilionyesha maisha yasiyo na mikwaruzo. But the fact was zile familia ambazo wanandoa walikuwa wana argue most of the times ziliweza dumu mpaka uzee na zile ambazo walikuwa wako makini kutokukasirishana ndio zili end up in divorce.

Mtaalamu akasema wale ambao wana ugomvi wa mara kwa mara with time wanazoea na kujifunza kasoro za wenzao unlike wale ambao wako makini wasigombane. Wale wasiogombana ikitokea ugomvi mmoja tu tayari watu wanadaiana talaka kwa kuwa hawajazoea.

Divorce pia zinafanya watoto wachukie wazazi. Am sorry to say mum and dad divorced. As a result mimi nampenda mama zaidi though we stayed with dad na hatukupata tabu yoyote. I still remember that he is the reason for divorce. Na wala mama hakuwa na muda wa kupandikiza chuki but this is what I feel.

Na chuki kwa watoto inakuja pale utakapooa tena. In most cases mothers hawaolewi wakiachika, hence they look more commited kuliko wababa na ndio chuki inapoanza.

Wakati mwingine inabidi tu hold back our prides.

Wakuu... the more we open up, the more we all learn!!! Nyumba kubwa shule imetulia aisee

You guys dont know how much we learn everyday

Now what if the relationship gets abusive??

should we stay?

 

[TIMING]

My my my ............oh my Gosh so finally.............. ehmmm! then I don't think if there will be a spare hapa mydia.

hahahaaaaaaaa.... not that really, not that MJ1

these are two different stories

LOL

 

[BlackBerry]

Wakuu... the more we open up, the more we all learn!!! Nyumba kubwa shule imetulia aisee

You guys dont know how much we learn everyday

Now what if the relationship gets abusive??

should we stay?

This is the only thing can separate me from the one i love
especially physical violence siez vumilia hii kabisa maana inaweza malizia maisha yangu
na maisha yalivo matamu aisee

 

[TIMING]

This is the only thing can separate me from the one i love
especially physical violence siez vumilia hii kabisa maana inaweza malizia maisha yangu
na maisha yalivo matamu aisee

ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... now you know,

I remember tunaambiwa ni bora kuumia mwili kuliko kuumia moyo... sasa hapa sijui which one hurts more!!!... ITS COMPLICATED
Is it ok if we cheat but not fight?
is it better if we belittle our loved once but not cheat?
or could it be better if we ignore our loved once but not lie to them
or could one tolerate a pile of lies and selfishness... in the place of good memories

can one try to hit the face, in exchange of cheats??

I wish Miaghay and Caroline will contribute on this as well... wamenyamaza sana

 

[nyumba kubwa]

Kwa kuwa nimetoka broken home; nachukua muda wangu mwingi kusoma kuhusu jinsi ya kulinda ndoa yangu ili nisirudie makosa ya wazazi. Kuna article nilitumiwa na rafiki yangu last year, ntajaribu kuitafuta baadae afu niiweke humu ina mafunzo mazuri sana. Nachokumbuka ni kuwa hiyo article ili conclude kuwa kwenye ndoa tuna tabia ya kukuza matendo mabaya ya wenzetu na ku ignore mazuri. Ukichukua muda ukaandika mazuri yote mwenzio aliyokufanyia utaanza kumwangalia kwa sura mpya. Ntaitafuta ni nzuri sana.

This is the only thing can separate me from the one i love
especially physical violence siez vumilia hii kabisa maana inaweza malizia maisha yangu
na maisha yalivo matamu aisee

 

[AshaDii]

Once again... ni fasihi

Ok, kuna truth but today... as lonely as i could... here in the southern hemisphere it is winter!!! and coming from North to south in just 10 days is really a "kink" to me

...........while watching, all these thoughts came and i finally started this thread... the relevance is enormous but personalization could be less than 50%

vitu titatu vipo kwenye post #67... love, life and future

You once commented in one of the threads that if not your wife... You would have been lost in life and would have been in worst conditions - which showed you acknowledge her (even if you do not love her - I am not saying you don't)... I was so proud on behalf of your wife that day na told my self.. this is the MAN anajua ana great madhaifu, but knows he is nothing bila the wife no matter if there is some useless person pembeni.... MTM Pal... that post over two months ago is the only reason i am not worried about you right now.... for i already know you have a rational mind... and YES there is a GREAT possibility in Blue.... Hivo i would have to say THANK YOU for the useful thread.... And handle your heart with care.....

 

[TIMING]

You once commented in one of the threads that if not your wife... You would have been lost in life and would have been in worst conditions - which showed you acknowledge her (even if you do not love her - I am not saying you don't)... I was so proud on behalf of your wife that day na told my self.. this is the MAN anajua ana great madhaifu, but knows he is nothing bila the wife no matter if there is some useless person pembeni.... MTM Pal... that post over two months ago is the only reason i am not worried about you right now.... for i already know you have a rational mind... and YES there is a GREAT possibility in Blue.... Hivo i would have to say THANK YOU for the useful thread.... And handle your heart with care.....

Very true my dear

Its like that always....

Deep down our souls we always have to realise and appreciate the contribution of people around us, that being said, we also need to consider all factors around our lives for better family and moral responsibilities

Iam inclined to believe that once i am done with you, there is no need to struggle....

IT IS A FACT THAT IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS.... ONE PART IS JUST A HANDBAG OR AN UMBRELLA AND HER/HIS FEELINGS/EMOTIONS/LOVE/EXPERSSIONS ARE JUST A SHADOW OF THE PRIME.... IS THAT TRUE AS WELL?

 

[BlackBerry]

Very true my dear

Its like that always....

Deep down our souls we always have to realise and appreciate the contribution of people around us, that being said, we also need to consider all factors around our lives for better family and moral responsibilities

Iam inclined to believe that once i am done with you, there is no need to struggle....

IT IS A FACT THAT IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS.... ONE PART IS JUST A HANDBAG OR AN UMBRELLA AND HER/HIS FEELINGS/EMOTIONS/LOVE/EXPERSSIONS ARE JUST A SHADOW OF THE PRIME.... IS THAT TRUE AS WELL?

MTM all these happen because someone ameona hawezi tena na uhusiano, emmotional atachment is wonderfull when the relation is in full bloom, but a great source of pain when is over

muhimu tujitahidi tusifikie huku kwa kubuni mbinu mbalimbali za kutupa excitement kwenye mahusiano yetu au sio jamani

 

[AshaDii]

Very true my dear

Its like that always....

Deep down our souls we always have to realise and appreciate the contribution of people around us, that being said, we also need to consider all factors around our lives for better family and moral responsibilities

Iam inclined to believe that once i am done with you, there is no need to struggle....

IT IS A FACT THAT IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS.... ONE PART IS JUST A HANDBAG OR AN UMBRELLA AND HER/HIS FEELINGS/EMOTIONS/LOVE/EXPERSSIONS ARE JUST A SHADOW OF THE PRIME.... IS THAT TRUE AS WELL?

I second in blue... thou as a wife would not let go that easily... eti tu because you are done....

I completely agree with your statement in cap-locks.... But not a generalizing mode. As much as there are prime things than feelings/emotions/love or expressions - personally i don't believe i can go on (although most marriages are based on prime rather than the other factors...).. For a marriage without love to survive, there atleast has to be some expressions - hasa basing on care... For instance my hubby may not love me (ni mfano tu!) but he is there for me... ananiridhisha... yupo responsible and in short he is a husband not just a man in the house; Then all that feelings/emotions/love does not count for hapa The Prime will be maintaining the marriage and making sure related factors kama kids and staff goes vizuri....

But siwezi sema eti tu sababu feelings/emotions/love are a shadow of The Prime, basi if the hubby ana ni mistreat na tunaishi maisha kama ya kudimba basi nikae tu nimeridhika.... NO! I Love life to much to condone that....

 

[King’asti]

aisee, to be honest I never think much of people who take me for granted. i believe if u give ur back seat u will be lucky enough to be given a chance in my boot!! what u sow with me is exactly what u will reap. bt i just try to maintain my personality (forget abt the ak 47, i dont shoot unless i really really have to,lol). bt may be i will just ignore them, get out there and sniff the fresh air and keep smiling coz i dont wanna waste a second being upset and miserable.
sorry,let me share this junk mail i read that changed my life for good. abt this busy middle class man.he had a busy day at work, knocked his pretty coaligue, apologised profusely and picked all the papers with a big smile. then went home, and opened one door just to knock his son who was hiding behind the door. he SHOUTED (sound familiar??) and ordered him to keep the hell away coz he is tired and wants his peace. later the wife found the boy in his bedroom crying. apparently the little boy,seing papaa is too busy to even sniff the flowers he decided to pick some for him and he was hiding behind the door to surprise him and cheer him up. naomba niishie hapo. bt we have men/women who ar quite happy when with coaligues and friends bt when they get home they cant even talk to their wives/children! well, since reading that junk mail, even a smile from a dirty village kid is received with a huge smile not caring abt my clothes! bt mpenzi ama ndugu feeling bitter or taking me for granted despite all efforts? i will do them a favor and stay out of their way for good!

thanks King'

Have you ever thought of those who take you for granted??? would you stay with them?

 

[King’asti]

lol, wifi i remember that very post! and i remember telling him, and i am telling him again; lucky is he,who knows what is worth. aisee, kuna wanaume wanajiskia kama ni vijogoo kwa sababu wakienda nyumbani kwao hawaulizwi chochote! hapo unakuta mwanamke hakujali na anakuchukulia poa tu,liwalo na liwe. it is nt something to be proud of. I am also nt worried abt MTM,of all the male figures in here. na the fact kuwa he doesnt support mambo ya kijinga!

You once commented in one of the threads that if not your wife... You would have been lost in life and would have been in worst conditions - which showed you acknowledge her (even if you do not love her - I am not saying you don't)... I was so proud on behalf of your wife that day na told my self.. this is the MAN anajua ana great madhaifu, but knows he is nothing bila the wife no matter if there is some useless person pembeni.... MTM Pal... that post over two months ago is the only reason i am not worried about you right now.... for i already know you have a rational mind... and YES there is a GREAT possibility in Blue.... Hivo i would have to say THANK YOU for the useful thread.... And handle your heart with care.....

 

[TIMING]

aisee, to be honest I never think much of people who take me for granted. i believe if u give ur back seat u will be lucky enough to be given a chance in my boot!! what u sow with me is exactly what u will reap. bt i just try to maintain my personality (forget abt the ak 47, i dont shoot unless i really really have to,lol). bt may be i will just ignore them, get out there and sniff the fresh air and keep smiling coz i dont wanna waste a second being upset and miserable.
sorry,let me share this junk mail i read that changed my life for good. abt this busy middle class man.he had a busy day at work, knocked his pretty coaligue, apologised profusely and picked all the papers with a big smile. then went home, and opened one door just to knock his son who was hiding behind the door. he SHOUTED (sound familiar??) and ordered him to keep the hell away coz he is tired and wants his peace. later the wife found the boy in his bedroom crying. apparently the little boy,seing papaa is too busy to even sniff the flowers he decided to pick some for him and he was hiding behind the door to surprise him and cheer him up. naomba niishie hapo. bt we have men/women who ar quite happy when with coaligues and friends bt when they get home they cant even talk to their wives/children! well, since reading that junk mail, even a smile from a dirty village kid is received with a huge smile not caring abt my clothes! bt mpenzi ama ndugu feeling bitter or taking me for granted despite all efforts? i will do them a favor and stay out of their way for good!

this happens everyday

Now would that be worse than other forms of abuse??? or could we rather believe that be in relationship is 50% liability to slavery?

 

[King’asti]

both emotional and physical abuse is a NO NO! tena mimi naamini u ar nt even doing ur kids a favor kwa kukaa kwenye abusive relationships! angalia watoto wanaolelewa na wazazi wanaopigana ama kutukanana! MTM watoto wanazaliwa na ubongo mpya kama laptop ama simu mpya. it has the basics tu! what u feed is what will come out! mi nadhani siku nikilambwa kibao tu ndo itakuwa mwisho,i dont need anybody's advise! i will just inform my parents of the move!

Wakuu... the more we open up, the more we all learn!!! Nyumba kubwa shule imetulia aisee

You guys dont know how much we learn everyday

Now what if the relationship gets abusive??

should we stay?

 

[TIMING]

lol, wifi i remember that very post! and i remember telling him, and i am telling him again; lucky is he,who knows what is worth. aisee, kuna wanaume wanajiskia kama ni vijogoo kwa sababu wakienda nyumbani kwao hawaulizwi chochote! hapo unakuta mwanamke hakujali na anakuchukulia poa tu,liwalo na liwe. it is nt something to be proud of. I am also nt worried abt MTM,of all the male figures in here. na the fact kuwa he doesnt support mambo ya kijinga!

...Mucho gracias konjo :tea:

 

[AshaDii]

lol, wifi i remember that very post! and i remember telling him, and i am telling him again; lucky is he,who knows what is worth. aisee, kuna wanaume wanajiskia kama ni vijogoo kwa sababu wakienda nyumbani kwao hawaulizwi chochote! hapo unakuta mwanamke hakujali na anakuchukulia poa tu,liwalo na liwe. it is nt something to be proud of. I am also nt worried abt MTM,of all the male figures in here. na the fact kuwa he doesnt support mambo ya kijinga!

My wifi thank you for remembering... sometimes huonaga aibu kumbukumbu yangu about what members commented nikihofia sasa nitaonekana ka nafuatilia saana but i can not help it - if i take note of something it triggers everytime something/someone concerned akigusia... na ile post ya MTM hii ndo ilikua perfect thread kukumbushia, na nimeshindwa jizuia... And of course nakubaliana na your last sentence katika hii post nime qoute - Hivyo don't wori wifi, i believe he is good....

 

[King’asti]

could be another form of abuse if exerted excessively! unajua kuna watu wanaishi a 'sorry' life, yeye kila wakati anahitaji kutubu tu! !! ila relationship is give and take. kila mwanadamu angependa kuwa appreciated from time to time. ndo unakuta mtu hajali sana hadi unamshangaa maisha anayoishi. bt the effect might be bigger to kids than adults..

this happens everyday

Now would that be worse than other forms of abuse??? or could we rather believe that be in relationship is 50% liability to slavery?

 

[Gaga]

MTM , nachojua mie hakuna mteremko tuu kwenye kila uhusiano,A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. Good relationships improve your life in all aspects, strengthening your health, your mind and your connections with others as well. However, it can also be one of the greatest drains if the relationship is not working.

Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you get back. Love and relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change through life as a team. Learn about ways to keep a healthy relationship strong, or work on repairing trust and love for a relationship on the rocks.Embu angalia na hili linaweza kukusaidia kwenye hii issue yako, pamoja sana

 

[BlackBerry]

ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... now you know,

I remember tunaambiwa ni bora kuumia mwili kuliko kuumia moyo... sasa hapa sijui which one hurts more!!!... ITS COMPLICATED
Is it ok if we cheat but not fight?
is it better if we belittle our loved once but not cheat?
or could it be better if we ignore our loved once but not lie to them
or could one tolerate a pile of lies and selfishness... in the place of good memories

can one try to hit the face, in exchange of cheats??

I wish Miaghay and Caroline will contribute on this as well... wamenyamaza sana

Nimekosa majibu ya uhakika kwa hili MTM. Grown up guys/Gentlemen, have their own way of making things better.