MTM kinachokusibu ni kitu kidogo sana. Unaweka bad memories baadala ya nzuri kingine ni kwamba husamehi wala husahau. Ebu niambie what is beyond love? Kama Mungu aliupenda ulimwengu na kumtoa mwanae mpendwa afe msalabani kwa ajili yetu, why can't you forgive and forget. Kama
Kaa chini leo ukumbuke mambo yote mabaya uliyowahi kumfanyia mtu, kufanyiwa mwambie mungu wako ayatoe moyoni mwako ukimaanisha. Kesho ukija hapa umebadili msimamo wa maisha yako.
You only miss tolerance!
I pray for you this night!
MTM really don't know... The good thing is that we are both of us in marriages thus speaking out of experience... What i understand is that no matter how much a couple loves each other in the beginning of their relationship and then their eventual marriage they can never maintain that early vibe they had. At the end they are together because of all the different reasons than love - and in most cases it is worth it... Logically speaking you would have to call it quits! But realistically speaking you keep hanging on...
MJ1 jamani hapa tuachie wazee wako.....kuna sredi kule mtu anacheat na mke wa mtu kaangalie..
Thanks Pal.... as always the most difficult part is to balance logic and 'realism' - its like having a cake and eat it too
c'mon AD.... i need some more
majuto hayo yapo hata kwenye ningelijua nisingemuoa/olewa nae....
Cases vary from one to another.
Hizo irreversibles na irreconcilables wewe pekee na mwenza wako ndio mnaweza kuzipima,
ndio maana nikakwambia kuna option ya separation period, the only option you can weigh
reasonably if both of you are doing the right decision or not.
Mind you,...I tried separation period for 18months, and we gave it another go only for her [after a year later]
to ask me for a divorce. My only regret was/(is) maybe I should have tried harder to persuade her to stay though
Our differences za kimtazamo wa maisha zingeendelea mpaka leo.
It cuts both ways man,....!
I love the thread... what you have said is so true and real that believe me you kila ambae yupo in a marriage after this thread is looking at his/her marriage with a fresh eye. Aksing one's self if what you have posted is happening to them, i have read all the comments from different members are they are really constructive inputs... Great inputs i should say - thus a lot has been said....
I should only add that bana new love is very exiting.... ile mbaya! Kwa mtu mshamba aweza hata ona the spouse alo nae ni taka... kwa mtu muelewa anajua it is because you do not spend 24/7 with your new love... never seen her/him in ugly situations... and in most cases in perfect shape (forgetting that your wife's change has also been changiadi na wewe making her pregnant once in a while) and forgetting that your new love has no pressing issues to make her look tired and older than her age all the time... I believe the best man in my life ni yule ambae kaona nafaa kuwa his wife mpaka kunihalalaisha na kujulikana kua i am the wife... no matter madhaifu... and it should be the same for men... kua the best woman ni yule kakubali kua mkeo no matter the madhaifu....
Well said Pal
I think the moral of this thread should remain kuwa ile question ya balance between oneself na partner, new life experience, changing environment, unexpected "guests" na mara nyingi nizile tabia za nje e.g work colleagues etc
How do you manage a channge in behaviour of a spouse... i will tell you one case
some of the long term relationships end up being just sexual, others being just family and some end up being being on social gatherings
Would you cherish those lives?? would you bring logic and realism into these lives??
I am torn between love, life and future... and it has to be resolved now
dear, oh dear!!
MJ1 kusahau hapo ni kutokumisi...
BB what if maisha ya kwanza hayakua yangu bali ni default tu?? umeshasikia the first love who was lost, mtu akaoa after 20 year akakutana na first love and everything changed completely??
Well, hayo mambo yapo.... do you remember your first love??
Second marriage ni disaster rafiki, maana unaona ushaweza kuacha kwa hiyo na huyo akileta unaanza tu, kwa msemo ule "nilimwacha fulani, itakuwa huyu nimekutana nae nishaanza kuzeeka" kuwez a kuwa na true love tumepewa mara moja tu duniani hapa, sasa inategemea kama kwa ndoa ya kwanza ulilazimisha then ikaja ya ukweli, au umetoka kwa true lover wako wa ukweli unaenda kwa mwingine ambae unajilazimishia tu au tamaa ya mpito
ashadii,umemaliza! waswahili wanasema usiache mbachao kwa msala upitao! niliwahi kuona mwanaume ambaye alikuwa anam-mistreat mkewe hadi aibu! mkewe akafariki kwa cancer. baba wa watu alilia kama mtoto mdogo, saying 'i never thought u will ever leave me, i thought saying sorry wld keep u forever'. since then, i never take pple for granted no matter what!
Wow... I love yah reallyWell one thing I have observed is that those who get into marriage as a result of love are more in trouble of maintaining the excitement inside a marriage than those who get in to it out of need… When I say out of need -- it is that both of them where interested in one another because of what they would expect/would be expected of them once they become a couple – this as a result of minimum demand of from one another, (which sometimes are so minor but frustrating…😉 building some unwritten understanding… which may draw them together as time goes on mpaka they can not bare the thought of a separation….
In blue… it depands on the nature of a person… if one is appreciative of all the good things no matter minor - s/he will realize that that relationship whether based on sex or social gatherings is a part of his/her life… Thus no need of even using logic for it is already real….
In red... you don't have to choose between the two - for they go hand in hand... with love ... life is woderful!! BUT you have to be careful if you are married kuepuka a new love... ni DISASTER!!!
thanks King'ashadii,umemaliza! waswahili wanasema usiache mbachao kwa msala upitao! niliwahi kuona mwanaume ambaye alikuwa anam-mistreat mkewe hadi aibu! mkewe akafariki kwa cancer. baba wa watu alilia kama mtoto mdogo, saying 'i never thought u will ever leave me, i thought saying sorry wld keep u forever'. since then, i never take pple for granted no matter what!
Wow... I love yah really
Hapo upoweka red, actually i amtorn between three and not two.... in management we say time, people and quality.... hapa sasa ni kasheshe. And to be honest to you and MJ1, its not about new love or replacement
Its just that sometimes the elastic limit has been reached more and more frequestly that the need for two become more secondary than primary
Lizzy mtu aliyeacha mara ya kwanza ni mwepesi ku move on mahusiano yanayofata yakimboa tena, sababu aliweza tu kuthubutu kufanya kitu ambacho wengi wanashindwa kukifanya, then mtihani anakuwa amemaliza, hapo ndio nilimaanisha mimi,kuna wanaojifunza sana kutokana na makosa, but hata wakiacha au kuachwa maumivu si kama yale ya kwanza, wa kwanza ni wa kwanza tu
well i had one
and i have finally found out where she is after 18 years
That is if I ever had one!!! LOL