Mapenzi hayafai ikiwa ni mtu moja anajuhudi zaidi ya mwengine

Mapenzi hayafai ikiwa ni mtu moja anajuhudi zaidi ya mwengine

mshamba_hachekwi said:
Ndo ilivyo, wanaume ndo wanatafuta wanawake,

Halafu mwanamke anachagua mwanaume anayemfaa

Ndio uzuri(urembo) wao unawapa thamani

Mimi naamini binadamu ni wanyama, tunaishi kama wanyama wengine

Angalia mammals wengine wanavyoishi, madume na majike
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Ni kweli, ila naona kwenye hii mada umenipata kwa asilimia chace mkuu,

Point yako ina some truth ila, sisi sio wanyama in such, tuna consciousness kama ni hivyo kusingekua na mahusiano tungekua tuna penda mwanamke yeyote tu, kama wanyama wanavyo panda kila jike.

Huoni hii mentality ni mbaya hasa kwa sisi wanaume? Huoni kama wanawake ambao wana consciousness pia wanatumia hicho kigezo kumfanya mwanaume kama mtumwa? Kingine huoni kua wanamfanya mwanaume kujiona hana thamani endapo watamwacha na kuchagua mwanaume mwingine wanayehisi anawafaa, it means mwanzo alidanganywa kuwa anapendwa ili wamchezee?
 
Nifah said:
Hii mada yako ni ngumu kidogo na wengi hawatakuelewa.

Binafsi kwangu hivi sasa ndio najua na kuiona raha ya kuwa na mtu mnayependana sana. Na niwe tu mkweli ni bahati ambayo humtokea mtu mara chache maishani.

Ukiwa na mtu mnayependana, kila hatua mnayopiga una amani.
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Exactly,
Ni very complex na inahitaji maturity kuelewa. Kama upo na mtu sahihi, mgande na usirudi kwenye hii cycle ambayo wengi wapo. GOODLUCK!
 
Kinachotokea kwenye mapenzi kinaathiriwa pakubwa na tabia zetu binadamu kiasili,

Tabia zinabadilika, zinazaliwa, zinakua na zinakufa. Msingi wa hoja yangu ni kuwa, kuwa na mtu kwenye mahusiano haimaanishi upendo wake utakuwepo siku zote, hapana

Upendo utaondoka kwa sababu za yeye mwenyewe au sababu za upande wa mwenzake.

Inabidi tukubali kuwa ni vigumu sana kumfanya binadamu akupende au mpendane siku zote.

Asante
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
Nowadays I rarely comment on these love-type of topics.

But today I got time [cuz 😉]. So here are my two cents from a distance. Me, the unhuggable, unlovable, type of guy.

1. Shouts out to all the hopeless romantics out there. They are some endangered species. Especially in this ‘City Girl’ era mentality where finding true love [if there is actually such a thing] is akin to finding a needle in a haystack!

2. Love [in the romantic sense] is a phenomenon. No one has been able to fully figure out its dynamics. It’s different for everybody. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for the other.

3. I’m all for people defining their own roles in a relationship. Screw the so called traditional gender roles where a man courts a woman. She plays hard to get but eventually gives in and they become an item.

And I don’t care who shoots their shot first. If you like somebody, let the person know. You can say something. Do something. There’s many ways you can use to let it be known to the person that you like. There is no need to shortchange yourself.

4. Once you are in the relationship, define your own roles. Do it your way.
If you, the man, love to cook, then be the cook. Cook for your woman. If you, the woman, think you are good at doing chores that are traditionally reserved for men in the house, and your man doesn’t feel emasculated by it, then go right ahead and handle your candle.

Sometimes you can decide to do things together [my preference]. Go grocery shopping together. Come home and cook together. Eat together. Clean together, etc,.

Alright, I think that’s enough game for now. Till next time, ✌️.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You're so brave if you didn't use gpt 🤣🤣 but I truly get you nowadays it's like we're playing games when it comes to love.

Playing hard to get, delaying texting to not show our vulnerability, not participating in household activities simply it's not our gender role! Trying to make our love stories look like those in movies...

It's so hectic and puts us in an endless roller-coaster of emotions and makes many hopeless romantics not believe in the existence of authentic relationships.

All the points you mentioned are so on point we need to stop conformity to all societal bullshit of conventional relationships. Period.
 
Von Bismarck said:
Kinachotokea kwenye mapenzi kinaathiriwa pakubwa na tabia zetu binadamu kiasili,

Tabia zinabadilika, zinazaliwa, zinakua na zinakufa. Msingi wa hoja yangu ni kuwa, kuwa na mtu kwenye mahusiano haimaanishi upendo wake utakuwepo siku zote, hapana

Upendo utaondoka kwa sababu za yeye mwenyewe au sababu za upande wa mwenzake.

Inabidi tukubali kuwa ni vigumu sana kumfanya binadamu akupende au mpendane siku zote.

Asante
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Je kwa point yako unahisi kuna umuhimu wa kuwa na mahusiano? Maana kama ni hivyo hakuna haja ya kuingia kwenye mahusiano kama tunajua binadamu ni kiumbe kijengwacho na tabia! Na tabia hubadilika.

Mimi nahisi tumekosa utulivu na hekima. Hilo ndo tatizo kuu, mbona wazee wa zamani walipendana bila kujali mabadiliko ya tabia? Kuna haja ya kujitathmini na kujua tunataka mwenza wa aina gani ili kukidhi mabadiliko hayo.

Tukisema tufate hii hoja hatuwezi kuwa na mahusiano yaliyo stable.
 
SOUTHERN INDEPENDENCE MOV said:
Wanaume huwa hatupendi huwa tunatamani tu.

Unatamani tu uwepo wa mwanamke fulani katika maisho yako na tuna muda wetu wa kukinai na kutamani mwingine.

Hiyo kazi ya kupenda tumewaachia nyie wanawake.

Kaa kimaster tambua kuwa mwanaume hapendi anatamani na anakinai pia.
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This is poor and outdated way of seeing love and relationships. Ndo maana ndo hazidumu. So sad.
 
de Gunner said:
Je kwa point yako unahisi kuna umuhimu wa kuwa na mahusiano? Maana kama ni hivyo hakuna haja ya kuingia kwenye mahusiano kama tunajua binadamu ni kiumbe kijengwacho na tabia! Na tabia hubadilika.

Mimi nahisi tumekosa utulivu na hekima. Hilo ndo tatizo kuu, mbona wazee wa zamani walipendana bila kujali mabadiliko ya tabia? Kuna haja ya kujitathmini na kujua tunataka mwenza wa aina gani ili kukidhi mabadiliko hayo.

Tukisema tufate hii hoja hatuwezi kuwa na mahusiano yaliyo stable.
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Kwa jibu fupi ni kwamba?
Ukawepo muuongozo ambao ni Uvumilivu.
Uvumilivu inamaana kuwa ili muundelee kuwepo kwenye mahusiano au ndoa lazima mapungufu yenu m-yavumilie!
Tofauti na hivyo mtaachana tu na kila mtu atakuwa anaona mwenzie ndiye chanzo.

Hatuna kawaida ya kukubali makosa lazima tutafute excuses! Kutoka upande wa pili.

NDOA siyo kitanda cha WARIDI.
 
Von Bismarck said:
Kwa jibu fupi ni kwamba?
Ukawepo muuongozo ambao ni Uvumilivu.
Uvumilivu inamaana kuwa ili muundelee kuwepo kwenye mahusiano au ndoa lazima mapungufu yenu m-yavumilie!
Tofauti na hivyo mtaachana tu na kila mtu atakuwa anaona mwenzie ndiye chanzo.

Hatuna kawaida ya kukubali makosa lazima tutafute excuses! Kutoka upande wa pili.

NDOA siyo kitanda cha WARIDI.
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Hapo nimekupata mkuu💯
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
Nowadays I rarely comment on these love-type of topics.

But today I got time [cuz 😉]. So here are my two cents from a distance. Me, the unhuggable, unlovable, type of guy.

1. Shouts out to all the hopeless romantics out there. They are some endangered species. Especially in this ‘City Girl’ era mentality where finding true love [if there is actually such a thing] is akin to finding a needle in a haystack!

2. Love [in the romantic sense] is a phenomenon. No one has been able to fully figure out its dynamics. It’s different for everybody. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for the other.

3. I’m all for people defining their own roles in a relationship. Screw the so called traditional gender roles where a man courts a woman. She plays hard to get but eventually gives in and they become an item.

And I don’t care who shoots their shot first. If you like somebody, let the person know. You can say something. Do something. There’s many ways you can use to let it be known to the person that you like. There is no need to shortchange yourself.

4. Once you are in the relationship, define your own roles. Do it your way.
If you, the man, love to cook, then be the cook. Cook for your woman. If you, the woman, think you are good at doing chores that are traditionally reserved for men in the house, and your man doesn’t feel emasculated by it, then go right ahead and handle your candle.

Sometimes you can decide to do things together [my preference]. Go grocery shopping together. Come home and cook together. Eat together. Clean together, etc,.

Alright, I think that’s enough game for now. Till next time, ✌️.
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Precisely, Love has no formula and the ways of what services a man should do and what a woman should do is basically it was all formed by societies with certain people with very strong opinions and good convincing powers I can say.. but like as we could be animals... male animals have different approaches to impress female animals... and that's how it should be...


Male birds some dance, some like peacock showoff their beautiful feathers to attract or impress the females birds, chickens chase each other before mating, mammals become more playful some fight to show strength...

Sometimes the expectation and peer pressure we get around with so much globalization that is going on makes Love so hard, so complicated with tons and tons of rules.
 
de Gunner said:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You're so brave if you didn't use gpt 🤣🤣 but I truly get you nowadays it's like we're playing games when it comes to love.

Playing hard to get, delaying texting to not show our vulnerability, not participating in household activities simply it's not our gender role! Trying to make our love stories look like those in movies...

It's so hectic and puts us in an endless roller-coaster of emotions and makes many hopeless romantics not believe in the existence of authentic relationships.

All the points you mentioned are so on point we need to stop conformity to all societal bullshit of conventional relationships. Period.
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But also it's not a crime for wanting a romantic relationship
 
de Gunner said:
Hii mada ni complex kidogo. Hivi kama mapenzi ni kati ya watu wawili me na ke, how come kwenye jamii ionekane kama mwanaume ndo kampenda mwanamke? kuna utaratibu kwamba mwanaume ndo anatakiwa achumbie which is true manaume ndo anatakiwa a make first move....

ila hii ni kama vile tunawapa nguvu wanawake when it comes to giving and receiving love. Yaani kunakuwa hakuna usawa kwenye mahusiano nikimaanisha wanawake wamekua kama wanatumia hii scenario kujiona wao ndo kama wanathamani sana.

Sisemi kuwa wao sio wazuri or uzuri wao hauna manufaa, ni kweli wanawake lazima wavutie ili ku attract wanaume. Ila ukija kuangalia hili swala kiundani zaid utagundua hawa viumbe ndo chanzo cha ndoa nyingi kuvunjika, because wanajiona kama wao na uzuri wao which by the way uzuri wa sura sio kigezo cha long lasting relationships! Wanatumia hicho kigezo ku fikiri na kuwamanipulate wanaume kuwa wao ni wathamani sana.

Point yangu ni kua, kama mwanamke anaishi kwenye jamii inayo mfanya ajione yeye ndo wa kupendwa na uzuri wake ndo prize inayo mfanya aishi mjini, unategemea kutakua na usawa kwenye mahusiano hasa ndoa? Ndo maana vijana wanalia KATAA NDOA NI MTEGO, na all drama tuzionazo kwenye ndoa sku hizi yote haya yamesababishwa moja wapo na hii dhana.

Mm naona kabla ya kuanzisha mahusiano na mtu hakikisha kuna upendo wa dhati kati yenu, isiwe mmoja ana weka upendo kumzidi mwenzie hii ina athari kubwa sana baadae.
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Hii kitu mimi nilishagundua siku nyingi sana. Anaefanya first move kuonesha kumuhitaji mwenzake ndie anajiweka kwenye weak side katika mahusiano ndio maana suala la kutongoza au kumpa mwanamke attention nimeachana nalo. Demu hata akijilengesha vipi huwa nakaza mpaka mwenyewe afunguke maana najua kuanzia hapo yeye ndie atahitajika kutumia nguvu kubwa sana ku-mantain kuwa na mimi.

Zingatio: mwanaume kutumia mbinu yangu haupaswi kuwa pussy driven pia uwe na kiutanashati hata kidogo.
 
de Gunner said:
Ni kweli, ila naona kwenye hii mada umenipata kwa asilimia chace mkuu,

Point yako ina some truth ila, sisi sio wanyama in such, tuna consciousness kama ni hivyo kusingekua na mahusiano tungekua tuna penda mwanamke yeyote tu, kama wanyama wanavyo panda kila jike.

Huoni hii mentality ni mbaya hasa kwa sisi wanaume? Huoni kama wanawake ambao wana consciousness pia wanatumia hicho kigezo kumfanya mwanaume kama mtumwa? Kingine huoni kua wanamfanya mwanaume kujiona hana thamani endapo watamwacha na kuchagua mwanaume mwingine wanayehisi anawafaa, it means mwanzo alidanganywa kuwa anapendwa ili wamchezee?
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Primal instincts mzee.

Kuna tabia ziko ndani yako zimewekwa na mageuzi(evolution) huwezi ziondoa kwa utashi wako

Kuna mammals wanapendana, na they mate for life

Mimi naona hizi akili tulizonazo ndo zinafanya mahusiano yawe magumu

Ila ukifuatilia, wote me na ke tunapendana kwa sababu, haitokei tu

ku-override hiyo kitu, itabidi utumie akili yako sasa
 
de Gunner said:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You're so brave if you didn't use gpt 🤣🤣 but I truly get you nowadays it's like we're playing games when it comes to love.

Playing hard to get, delaying texting to not show our vulnerability, not participating in household activities simply it's not our gender role! Trying to make our love stories look like those in movies...

It's so hectic and puts us in an endless roller-coaster of emotions and makes many hopeless romantics not believe in the existence of authentic relationships.

All the points you mentioned are so on point we need to stop conformity to all societal bullshit of conventional relationships. Period.
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Nah!

I don’t use ChatGPT. Never have.

That was straight off the dome.

Did you use it in your reply?
 
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