Part Nine A: Ending a beautiful relationship is never easy.
2000-2001
[emoji2400] Rosemary's first born.
Jan, 2,2000
Tukiwa tunashangilia ile Y2K, mke wangu Rosemary alijifunga mtoto wetu wa kwanza katika ndoa, alikuwa msichana tukamuitwa Elisa.
Mke wangu alikuwa na furaha isiyo na kifani, mama pia alifurahi sana kupata mjukuu. Mimi nilikumbuka maneno ya baba
" Jukumu langu ni kumtunza mama , kwa vile sijaoa, nihakikishe naoa mke atakae mtunza mama na yeye. Tena nifanye haraka anataka kunywa chai na wajukuu zake."
Leo hii nimepata mtoto baba hayupo. [emoji24]
***
Baada ya kutoka finland nilianza kutafuta namna nzuri ya kumpa taarifa Violet , Nilitumia muda mrefu kidogo ili apate relief kutokana na msiba wa baba yake. Pia nilitaka Violet ajifungue salama kisha nimpe taaria, sikupenda apate mshtuko akiwa na mimba.
Huenda ingamsababishia miscarriage jambo ambalo sikutaka litokee, pia nilihisi akijua mapema huenda akaitoa ile mimba. Miezi sita baada ya kujifungua, nilimtumia email kumjulisha
March 21, 2000
Dear Violet!
Hello.
Please read the message carefully.
I know that texting seems probably horrible, but it's the best way for me to gather my thoughts. I just wanted to say how important you are to me.
You’ve been there for me through some big maments in my life and I will always treasure that. You know I love you.
I want you to know that we cannot get married because of the current situation. My mom needs me the same way your mom needs you. You are also responsible for running your businesses. Please admit the truth, I need to get married to find somebody who will take care of my mother.
There's no way I can live in Europe and leave my mother alone.
And you can't just come to Africa and leave your mama alone and leave your businesses.
Then I'll let you find a lover that will stay with you.
You know my heart, I love you a lot, but I don't have another way. Please give me a chance to see my kids if you love me, please don't let us be enemies, realize you're in my heart.
I know this is going to hurt you, but I need to be honest with you.
I grieve all day,
You were everything to me and now I feel as if I have nothing. Don't think I'm taking this lightly, I've been thinking long and hard about our relationship.
You are an incredible person that I have learned to love and respect, I care so much for you and I hate it when it hurts you.
Even when I decided to break up with you, my heart wasn't ready to give you this message. But I did it because I believe it's best for both of us.
Having read this message, you will start blaming the day you accepted my love. You are cute, lovely and beautiful, please don't blame yourself for anything.
I ended the relationship because of our parents, they need us, they no longer have anyone for them. Maybe it was destiny for our relationship.
When I write this message, I suffer so much that you don't even know it. But I think it's time to face reality.
Please don't waste your beauty weeping for me. .
I wish you the best of luck after me. Don't spoil your beauty by crying for me, perhaps you should move on.
I wanted to raise our twin children together, and I hate to leave you alone. I want you to know how much I love you and our children because they are my blood.
Let me be clear, I have no other reason than our parents. Our parents are in great need of us, they have lost their husbands, we are their only support, do not cause them to lose hope in life.
Say hello to Mom, please give this message to Mom so she can read it. Please take care of our children.
Goodbye to the person I loved the most, I'm shattered and I feel empty inside. I did everything I could to make it up, and I failed. I'm really sorry, darling.
Goodbye my beloved, i will miss you a lot, I will never forget you.
Thank you for the memories,
Thank you for the life we shared
***
Song: I Will Remember You
Artist: Sarah McLachlan
Album: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Released: 1993
Genres: Alternative/Indie, Pop, Folk
Awards: Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Want to feel your warmth upon me
I want to be the one
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
So afraid to love you
But more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories
Kiitos Kaveri.
***
(Sikumwambia Violet kama nimeshaoa, matukio yalikuwa ya haraka sana, na muda huo yeye bado ni mzazi. )
Baada ya ujumbe kupokelewa Violet alichukua wiki 3 kunijibu, tena hapo ni baada ya kuwa na utaratibu wa kumtumia ujumbe kila siku asubuhi na jioni. hatimaye…….
Hello Mr. Edson.
I hope you're alright.
I respect your decision to separate you from me, but I like you anyway. Mr. Edson, you are my lover and you will be.
You closed your heart to me, but my heart is open to you. When you realize I'm your perfect partner, turn around and I'll give you a heads-up.
I love you forever.
Until then, Mr. Edson.
Please listen to these songs, I can't say much in writing, but these singers have helped me get the message I intended.
Song: Hello Darlin'
Artist: Conway Twitty
Released: 1970
Album: Hello Darlin'
Genre: Country
Nominations: Country Music Association Award for Song of the Year, more
Hello darlin'
Nice to see you
It's been a long time
You're just as lovely
As you used to be
How's your new love
Are you happy
Hope your doin' fine
Just to know it
Means so much to me
What's that darlin'
How am I doin'
I'm doin' alright except I can't sleep
And I cry all night 'til dawn
What I'm trying to say is I love you and I miss you
And I'm so sorry that I did you wrong
Look up darlin'
Let me kiss you
Just for old time sake
Let me hold you
In my arms one more time
Thank you darlin'
May God bless you
And may each step you take
Bring you closer
To the things you seek to find
Goodbye darlin'
Gotta go now
Gotta try to find a way
To lose these memories
Of a love so warm and true
And if you should ever find it
In your heart to forgive me
Come back Darlin'
I'll be waitin' for you…
*****
Song: You Were Mine
Artist: The Chicks
Released: 1998
Album: Wide Open Spaces
Genre: Bluegrass
I can't find a reason to let go
Even though you've found a new love
And she's what your dreams are made of
I can find a reason to hang on
What went wrong can be forgiven
Without you, it ain't worth livin' alone
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take you away
When for so long, you were mine?
I took out all the pictures of our wedding day
It was a time of love and laughte
Happy ever after
But even those old pictures have begun to fade
Please tell me she's not real
And that you're really coming home to stay
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long, you were mine?
I can give you two good reasons
To show you love's not blind
He's two and she's four, and you know they adore you
So how can I tell them you've changed your mind?
Sometimes I wake up crying at night
And sometimes I scream out your name
What right does she have to take your heart away
When for so long, you were mine?
I remember when you were mine
(Violet thought I was just trying to find a way out of her, she didn't know if I meant it, and I'm already married.)
Kiitos
***
Kiukweli niliumia sana na ujumbe huo, ni bora angenitukana nisingeumia, jibu alilonipa kweli nilitokwa machozi.
Baada ya ujumbe ule, Violet hakuwasiliana na mimi tena, hakujibu emails zangu tena, pesa alizokuwa ananitumia kila mwezi zikakata, gawio la faida la mwisho wa mwaka zile 25%*2 likasitishwa. Kifupi ni kwamba, aliamua kunipotezea kabisa.
I was feeling like she said this to me
"I gave you love and money, you got money and abandoned love, fight your situation."
"If you boil fish in a coffee maker, every coffee you make next will always have the taste of fish."
***
Next
Part Nine B: I feel terrible about what happened.
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