Ni takwimu za kutisha sana katika Mahusiano/Ndoa. Kuna jambo tunapaswa kujifunza tupende tusipende ama sivyo tutaangamia

Ni takwimu za kutisha sana katika Mahusiano/Ndoa. Kuna jambo tunapaswa kujifunza tupende tusipende ama sivyo tutaangamia

Mjuni Lwambo said:
Hanisi, (hanithi) ni asiyedindisha au asiyetungisha mimba?

Vyovyote vile itakavyokuwa, kuwa hanithi au kutotungisha mimba au kutozaa hakumfanyi mtu asiwe na thamani, unless kama nilivyosema, maana ya kuishi duniani kwako ni kufanya mapenzi, kutungisha mimba na kuzaa!

Na ukisema ndio, maana yake masista wote, mashirika yote ya wakatoliki sijui white fatjers, wabenedictine, Jesuits, knights of templar and of malta, mapadri wote, maaskofu katoliki pamoja na baraza lao lote la maaskofu la Tanzania Episcopal Conference TEC, makadinari wote akiwemo kardinari Pengo, pamoja na Papa Francis na watangulizi wake, ni watu wasiokuwa na thamani hapa duniani..

Maana wote tajwa hapo juu, pamoja na watu wengine wa kada mablimbali walioamua kwa hiari yao, hawatakiwi kufanya mapenzi wala kuzaa, kwa mujibu wako, thamani ya binadamu duniani ni kudindisha, kufanya mapenzi na kuzaa!

Unasemaje mkuu Extrovert ?
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Umeamua kulichukulia personal. Mambo yasiwe mengi kama ndoa kwako sio muhimu usioe zalisha wanawake utakavyo ili tuendeleze kizazi cha panya road
 
Mjuni Lwambo said:
Hayo ni mambo ya kawaida tu, Tatizo ni kwamba huku Afrika hatujayazoea lakini kwa nchi zilizoendelea, wanawake kudai talaka au kutoolewa kabisa ni jambo la kawaida tu.

Katika nchi iliyoendelea kabisa ya Japan, ilifikia kipindi ndoa zikawa hakuna kabisa hadi serikali ikawa inatoa motisha kwa atakayeoa au kuolewa. Huku sisi utasikia watu wanasema, bila ndoa sasa familia itakuwaje, malezi ya watoto vipi na bla bla nyingi...

Sisi bado tuna evolve, kwa hiyo twendeni taratibu, lakini itafikia kipindi tutaelewa tu pamoja na mambo mengine, ndoa sio jambo la muhimu kama tunavyodhani.
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Watoto mliozaliwa nje ya ndoa huwa mnakuwa na akili chafu. Sasa wewe kweli ndio wa kusema NDOA si jambo la lazima, kama sio laana ni nini hizi unaleta hapa. Kwahiyo watoto wazaliwe kwa njia za umalaya, ukahaba, uasherati, ufuska na uzinzi kwa mtazamo wako hiyo ndio njia bora ya kuzaliana?!

Wewe hauna akili sawa sawa.
 
Extrovert said:
Umeamua kulichukulia personal. Mambo yasiwe mengi kama ndoa kwako sio muhimu usioe zalisha wanawake utakavyo ili tuendeleze kizazi cha panya road
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Personal kwa nini? Nilijua utakimbia, mimi nimekuandikia mifano halisi unaniambia personal,

Na una uhakika panya road ni sababu ya kutokuwa na ndoa?
 
Samcezar said:
Watoto mliozaliwa nje ya ndoa huwa mnakuwa na akili chafu. Sasa wewe kweli ndio wa kusema NDOA si jambo la lazima, kama sio laana ni nini hizi unaleta hapa. Kwahiyo watoto wazaliwe kwa njia za umalaya, ukahaba, uasherati, ufuska na uzinzi kwa mtazamo wako hiyo ndio njia bora ya kuzaliana?!

Wewe hauna akili sawa sawa.
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Wewe umekaririshwa kwamba ndoa ni jambo la muhimu sana, na ukakaririshwa pia kwamba mtoto aliezaliwa nje ya ndoa hana thamani na ana akili chafu. Unatakiwa zakuambiwa uchanganye na zako, usimeze kila kitu.
 
Extrovert said:
Umeamua kulichukulia personal. Mambo yasiwe mengi kama ndoa kwako sio muhimu usioe zalisha wanawake utakavyo ili tuendeleze kizazi cha panya road
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Wewe inshort mbio zimekuokoa, umetoka nduki🏃‍♂️, mimi napinga kusema kwamba nisipozalisha sina thamani, wewe unaniambia nizalishe nilete panya road!!

Umeishiwa hoja, labda nduguyo Samcezar naona kanivaa, anajaribu kuniletea waliyokaririshwa kwenye dini zao!
 
Mjuni Lwambo said:
Wewe inshort mbio zimekuokoa, umetoka nduki🏃‍♂️, mimi napinga kusema kwamba nisipozalisha sina thamani, wewe unaniambia nizalishe nilete panya road!!

Umeishiwa hoja, labda nduguyo Samcezar naona kanivaa, anajaribu kuniletea waliyokaririshwa kwenye dini zao!
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Naona ubishi utakuwa wa kuku na yai nani wa kwanza.
 
Possibles said:
Wanaume ndio tumeshindwa kuwa-handle wanawake wasomi.
Wanawake wasomi wanataka happy life na maisha yanayoakisi kiwango cha uelewa wenu.
Sasa wewe unaweka sheria kibaaaao na masharti kisa tu u-mwanaume kwenye nyumba.

Tushaambiwa tuishi nao kwa akili.

Akili unayotumia kuishi na mwanamke wa kawaida ni tofauti na akili utakayotumia kuishi na mwanamke msomi.
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Umemuweka mwanamke msomi kama vile ni expensive extra package kwamba hadi akili ya ziada itumike kuishi naye !!
Natamani ingekuwa rahisi hivo, kwamba ukioa msomi basi mambo nayo yanakaa sawa. Hata mie ningetumia akili ya ziada kuishi na msomi.

Ukweli ni kuwa hao wasomi hawatofautiani sana na la saba mama wa nyumbani!! mizinga daily , ana ndugu watakuelemea, usitegemee pesa yake ya mshahara ,tegemea malezi mabovu ya watoto wenu , na most likely atakudharau pia.
 
FRESHMAN said:
Ndoa ni jambo zuri.. tatizo watu tunaoa wake za watu na wanawake wanaolewa na waume za watu.

N.y.e.gezi tunaanza zipata toka tuna miaka 15. Ila ndoa tunafunga tukiwa na miaka 30. Hapo kati kati kwa miaka zaidi ya 15 ya nyegezi tumeonesha nyeti zetu kwa wenza kibao kabla ya mume ama mke.. sasa ndoa inadumu vipi?

Unaanzia wapi kumtuliza mke aliye na ma ex kumi yaani anajua kila staili ya dushelele.. ama mume mwenye ma ex 20
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Nmekuelewa mkuu, Kuna mahali jamii inapuuza lkn ndio kiini cha uharibifu
 
Mjuni Lwambo said:
Hayo ni mambo ya kawaida tu, Tatizo ni kwamba huku Afrika hatujayazoea lakini kwa nchi zilizoendelea, wanawake kudai talaka au kutoolewa kabisa ni jambo la kawaida tu.

Katika nchi iliyoendelea kabisa ya Japan, ilifikia kipindi ndoa zikawa hakuna kabisa hadi serikali ikawa inatoa motisha kwa atakayeoa au kuolewa. Huku sisi utasikia watu wanasema, bila ndoa sasa familia itakuwaje, malezi ya watoto vipi na bla bla nyingi...

Sisi bado tuna evolve, kwa hiyo twendeni taratibu, lakini itafikia kipindi tutaelewa tu pamoja na mambo mengine, ndoa sio jambo la muhimu kama tunavyodhani.
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Sasa hapo kuna tofauti gani na wanyama?
 
t blj said:
Umemuweka mwanamke msomi kama vile ni expensive extra package kwamba hadi akili ya ziada itumike kuishi naye !!
Natamani ingekuwa rahisi hivo, kwamba ukioa msomi basi mambo nayo yanakaa sawa. Hata mie ningetumia akili ya ziada kuishi na msomi.

Ukweli ni kuwa hao wasomi hawatofautiani sana na la saba mama wa nyumbani!! mizinga daily , ana ndugu watakuelemea, usitegemee pesa yake ya mshahara ,tegemea malezi mabovu ya watoto wenu , na most likely atakudharau pia.
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Basi itakuwa hujajua tatizo la msingi. Kama unavyosema ndivyo ni kwanini sasa ndoa zenye wanawake wasomi ndio zinavunjika kwa wingi?
Ni muhimu kukubali hata kama hatupendi kuwa kuna tofauti fulani ya ubongo katika ufikiri, upokeaji wa mambo na ufanyaji wa mambo anayoelekezwa.
Huwezi kuwaweka kundi moja wasiosoma na waliosoma
 
Chizi Maarifa said:
Takwimu zinaonesha Wakala wa usajili, ufilisi na udhamini (RITA), kwa mwaka unapokea maombi ya talaka yasiyopungua 500+ Tanzania nzima.

Kilichonishangaza ni kwamba asilimia 78% ya Ndoa zinazovunjika ni wanawake ndio wanaoomba talaka na kupeleka maombi hayo.

Kilichonishangaza na Kunimaliza zaidi ni kwamba asilimia 89% ya wanawake wanaoomba talaka ni WANAWAKE WASOMI (Intellectual Women)

Swali; Wanawake wasomi wana SHIDA GANI, kwanini kwao talaka ziwe nyingi, kwanini wengi wanasumbuka na mahusiano na kwanini wengi ni single mothers?

Honestly kuna kitu hakiko sawa kwa hawa Intellectual women, kwa takwimu hizi tunaweza kusema elimu zimewaharibu badala ya kuwatengeneza wawe wake bora.

Ndio, haiwezekani asilimia 89% ya maombi ya talaka yakaliwe na wao pekeao, ina maana elimu zao zinawaambia kwamba solution pekee ni talaka, nawaza sana yani🤔

Ngoja niropoke; wanawake wengi wasomi wana kakiburi ka maarifa kanaitwa "INTELLECTUAL ARROGANCE"

Haka kakiburi kanawaambia hivi "wewe ni msomi, una akili, unajiweza na mwanaume hatakiwi kukusumbua kwa lolote lile"

Haka kakiburi kamewafanya wengi washindwe kuwa wanyenyekevu kwa sababu wanajiona ni classy and high, inafika hatua wanaanza kuvimba.

Wengi walifanikiwa sana kielimu kiasi cha kupata fedha, vyeo na status katika jamii vichwa vikaelemewa sifa na kujiona wanajua na kuweza kila kitu.

Pengine ofisini kwao yeye ndo Managing Director na ana watu wengi wakiume wako chini yake kikazi, anataka na mumewe awe chini yake pia.

Elimu yake, cheo na fedha vinamwambia "Unastahili kunyenyekewa na sio kunyenyekea na unaweza kila kitu" wengi hapa ndipo wanapofeli sasa na kuleta mabalaa.

Pengine walipokuwa wanasoma waliambiwa maneno kama "Soma sana, tafuta fedha zako ili mwanaume asikusumbue kwa lolote lile" (hii ndo shida kubwa)

Kwahiyo wengi kuanzia hapo wakawa wanatembea na competetive mentality (fikra za kishindani) na muda wote wapo kinyume na jinsia ya kiume.

Kinachotokea, wakiolewa wanafanya mambo kama washindani (competetors) kwa wanaume wao na sio wapambanaji wenza (teammates)

Kitu kingine kinachowaharibu ni hizi FEMINISTS MOVEMENTS (harakazi zinazodaiwa kumpa nguvu mwanamke na kumkomboa kifikra)

Ukizifuatilia vizuri hizi harakati zinawafanya wanawake wahisi kwamba hata wao wanaweza kuwa kama wanaume since they can pay bills na ada za watoto.

Sikatai, ni kweli kabisa kuna majukumu mwanamke anaweza kuyaperform kama mwanaume lakini haitatokea hata siku moja akawa kichwa cha familia.

Elimu walizopata wengi wao zimewasababishia kakitu kanaitwa "Control Freak Disorder" (unajua ni kanini haka, soma hapa chini👇)

Ni kale ka akili ka kumtaka mwanamke amcontrol mwanaume na kumfanya mwanaume aenende vile mwanamke anataka (amuweke chini)

Na hii inatokana na ukweli kwamba wengi wameweza kuongoza kakundi ka watu, wengi wameweza kufanya vitu vikubwa katika academic fields zao.

Kitendo cha kufanikiwa kuongoza kakundi ka watu kinawafanya hata kwenye ndoa nafasi ya kuongoza ambayo ni ya mwanaume aitake mwanamke, yaani yeye ndo awe kichwa.

Msuguano unaanzia hapo, mwanaume yeyote yule anataka yeye ndo awe top, ikitokea mwanamke akataka kumshusha mwanaume ili mwanamke awe top balaa linaanza.

Fuatilia, wanawake ninaowazungumzia hapa wengi wana kakiburi, wanajiona, na wanaamini kwamba hakuna kitu wanahitaji kutoka kwa wanaume na wanaweza kila kitu pekeao.

Wanaume wengi wanatafuta fedha ili wahudumie familia zao na kuwatimizia mahitaji, ila kwa wanawake mambo yako kinyume kabisa!

Wengi wanasoma na wanatafuta fedha ili waweze kuthibitisha kwamba wanaweza kufanya kama wanaume, wanaweza kuishi bila wanaume na hawawezi kusumbuliwa kwa lolote.

Ndio maana, kukiibuka kaugomvi kadogo wengi solution inakuwa ni kuachana ili kuthibitisha kwamba "NINAWEZA KUISHI MWENYEWE NA KAMA NI MTOTO/WATOTO NITALEA COZ NINA FEDHA"

Dear ladies, black brother wenu nawakubali kinoma na nafurahi kuwaona vile mnastrugle kupambania ndoto zenu (hongereni kwa hilo)

Lakini, jitahidi kadri uwezavyo fedha zako, elimu yako na cheo ulichonacho/utakachopata visikutie Kiburi mbele ya mumeo uliyenae/utakaekuwa nae.

Ni kweli umefanikiwa kielimu, pengine una mshahara mkubwa, au biashara zako zinaenda safi, una cheo/position fulani somewhere lakini WEWE BADO NI MWANAMKE.

Wakati wowote uwapo mke, mpe nafasi mwanaume awe mume, awe baba, awe kuongozi, awe dereva wa familia huku wewe ukiwa kwake msaidizi.

Hata kama ofisini kwenu una wanaume wengi unaowaongoza na wananyenyekea mbele yako usitake na mumeo akunyenyekee.

Mpe yeye nafasi ya kuwa king, mtii, msikilize na panapohitajika ushauri mpe ushauri kwa upole huku ukionesha kwamba unamuheshimu na kuamini katika nafasi yake.

Sasa nisikilize hapa, kuwa mnyenyekevu na mtiifu haimaanishi kwamba uvumilie kila upuuzi wa mwanaume (kuwa makini)

Yaani usiwe ni mwanamke wa kupelekwapelekwa in the name of NAMSIKILIZA MUME WANGU, NAMTII NA KUMNYEMYEKEA.

Uonapo mambo hayako sawa tafuta msaada ili usije ukaharibikiwa, mnayoweza kuyashughulikia wawili yashughulikieni yakikushinda njoo unambie.

SABABU ZINAZOFANYA WANAWAKE WENYE AKILI KUBWA, VYEO, FEDHA, ELIMU, UMAARUFU KUSUMBULIWA NA MAHUSIANO

Mwisho; kama huamini kwamba elimu na hizi feminists movement zinaharibu zaidi ya vile zinatengeneza jiulize hivi👇

Kwanini wanawake wa sahivi wamesoma lakini hawadumu kwenye ndoa kama mama na bibi zetu walioishia darasa la nne/la saba.

Kadri mwanamke anavyoanda juu kielimu, kuna namna anapoteza WIFE TRAITS umakini unahitajika sana ndo mana wengi wanabaki single/single mothers.

Fuatilia wanawake woote unaowajua Tanzania ambao wana vyeo vikubwa, wamefanikiwa kibiashara au wapo top kwenye eneo lolote lile.

Wengi utagundua kwamba hawajawahi kuolewa, waliolewa wakaachika, walizalishwa na wakabaki hapo.

Elimu sio mbaya, fedha sio mbaya..lakini inakuwa mbaya pale inapoanza kumfanya Quuen atake kuwa king, haiwezekani!......
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Mwandishi wa hiyo habari kaandika basing on one side.

Kila mwanamke virgin (awe na elimu ama asiwe nayo) dreams of a fairytale kind of love, hata michezo yetu ya udogoni na usichanani we’re all about keeping the family and the house. By virgin woman naongelea mwanamke ambaye hajawa emotionally abused pamoja na other abuses.

So The first thing this virgin woman wants akikutana na mwanaume ni Love (the kind of love she has been dreaming and playing throughout her life) that’s why you’ll find these virgin women doing so much and putting their best in their first relationships. Tatizo linakuja when their efforts are not reciprocated. As time goes on with several heartbreaks, her mindset about love is corrupted. At this point she is no longer a virgin, since she is traumatised already.

Now that her dream love failed, her next bait in relationship is benefits. So she enters a relationship even though she’s not loved how she wants, even though she’s maltreated, as long as she benefits from this man, most of them will choose to settle.

Mind you sijagusia suala la elimu bado. I want us to understand what I believe is a general mindset of most women, educated or not educated.

Now the real deal comes when a woman goes into a relationship and neither love nor benefits are served in her plate, na hapo ndipo the role of education comes in.
What education does is just giving the so called educated woman courage to not keep up with the shit. In her head she is like “dude, you don’t love me right, you don’t support or add any value in my life, unanipiga matukio ya kila aina that cost my peace of mind and productivity, matukio that lower my self esteem, and yet you expect me to respect and submit to you, why should I?” She packs herself out and go.! What Education did is just give these women the courage and hope that she can handle whatever responsibilities life will throw at her ( she can get a job , she can establish something for herself- she can monetise her education and be paid and run life at peace) something that the woman who is not educated can’t do- the courage and hope that the uneducated woman doesn’t have. That’s why the uneducated ones keeps living and taking all kinds of shits men throw at them and be seen as wife material whatsoever but the truth of the matter is this same uneducated woman akipata chachu na tumaini kwamba anaweza kuendesha maisha yake, akipata mwangaza, hata naye anaondoka.

So men achaneni na mentality that you can eat your cake and have it ; learn to genuinely love your women , learn to understand them, learn to treat them as queens and princesses they are and you’ll see if these educated women won’t put their guts down and be submissive and respective to you.
As a man , ask yourself this question, if another man treats my daughter the same way I’m treating the woman I’m with, would you let your daughter be with that man? Or better still ask yourself, if places are switched and you (a man) would be a woman and her be a man and she as a man now treats you, who is a woman now, the way you as a man is treating her as woman, ungeendelea kua naye?

My candid opinion and I stand to be corrected.
 
Mjuni Lwambo said:
Wewe umekaririshwa kwamba ndoa ni jambo la muhimu sana, na ukakaririshwa pia kwamba mtoto aliezaliwa nje ya ndoa hana thamani na ana akili chafu. Unatakiwa zakuambiwa uchanganye na zako, usimeze kila kitu.
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Ama kweli matoto ya laana huwa hayanaga kuelewa. Sasa mimi nakuelekeza hapa ila bado umekazana kunibishia. Wewe wa kunielekeza mimi kuhusu ndoa kweli?!

Tena ukome, hizo fikra zako za kuzimu bakia nazo na laana zako mimi usiniletee shubamati.
 
Samcezar said:
Ama kweli matoto ya laana huwa hayanaga kuelewa. Sasa mimi nakuelekeza hapa ila bado umekazana kunibishia. Wewe wa kunielekeza mimi kuhusu ndoa kweli?!

Tena ukome, hizo fikra zako za kuzimu bakia nazo na laana zako mimi usiniletee shubamati.
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When you start calling people names, people you even dont know, you prove your utter nonsense and extreme ignorance.

As to this juncture it is obvious that you are no match for me and you dont even come half of my general knowledge. Go to the mosque and learn Qaswida, that is the best you can do!

Inawezekana hata huelewi nilichoandika, nasema hivi, uelewa wako ni mdogo na huwezi kujadili na mimi, Nenda msikitini kajifunze Kaswida.
 
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