Ulishawahi kula tunda kimasihara?

MtamaMchungu said:

Wakati naanza tu 2nd year chuo, siku moja nikaingia zangu darasani mida ya mchana naona kuna kamrembo kadogo kadogo, keupe hivi kamekaa siti ya nyuma peke yake. Huwa navipendaga sana videmu vya namna hii, inakuwaje sijawahi kuka-notice, nikasejisemea katakuwa ni container jipya [Wanaoanza chuo tulikuwa tunasema "container jipya limetema"]. Nikakaa kama rows tatu mbele yake nikafungua laptop yangu nikaanza kujisomea huku kichwani nawaza namna namng'oa huyu binti.

Nikajisemea huyu nitumie strategy ya kibaharia inaitwa "jifanye una shida, akusaidie". Nikaamua kukaachia laptop. Nikamfuata nikampa salam then nikamwambie nimeitwa na lecturer mara moja naomba uniangalizie laptop yangu. Akaniambia anaweza akaondoka muda wowote kwenda kula [Nilijua atanipa story za kuondoka hivi karibuni]. Okay, nikamwambia ngoja nikupe namba yangu, incase ukitaka kuondoka kabla sijarudi, nitafute. Akachukua namba, nikamwambia ni-beep ili ukipiga nijue ni wewe. In truth, wala sikwenda mbali, dakika tano tu nimerudi. Asante sana, tushajuana na got her number now.

Kidogo, nikamtext, "Am very sorry, umenisaidia hata jina sijakuuliza, hata kukusave nimeshindwa", akanijibu jina lake. Mimi nikamwambia, una jina zuri but mimi nakubatiza jina abc, [Lilikuwa la kifaransa maana yake pretty young thing - Baharia chukua hii trick, sio unasave mtu Sikudhani, msave pretty eyes, wanawake vitu vidogo vidogo vinawachanganya sana]. Tukaendelea kuchat pale hilo jina maana yake nini, nikamwambie it's for to find out, ame-google akafurahiiii. Moyoni nikasema amekwisha huyu.

Coincidence ikaja, kumbe anakaa na sister yake njia moja na mimi, huwa nashuka kama vituo vinne mbele yake. Nikamwambia jioni tuondoke wote, ila itabidi tu upitilize ukaone ninapoishi; halafu utarudi zako home, akakubali. Jioni hao kwenye daladala, mpaka home [nilikuwa naisha nyumba nzima peke yangu]. Kufika kashangaa nyumba kubwa upo peke yako blah blah blah, lakini mimi sikai. Nikamwambia let me cook something for you huwezi ondoka na njaa. Nikaingia kwa frigde toa mayai kadhaa na sausage, tengeneza spanish omelette yenye sausage ndani, nikamwekea mtoto mezani. Akaniuliza sasa wewe ya kwako ikwapi, nikamwambia usijali mimi nitakula baadae, this is for you baby.

Wakati anakula nikamfuata kwenye dining table, nikazunguka nyuma yake nikakata kipande kidogo, nikapitisha upande wake wa kulia nikamlisha, then nikamkiss kwenye shingo upande wa kushoto. Na yeye akarudisha favor, ila round hii tutapeana french kiss matata sana. Chakula kikawekwa pembeni, nikampandisha kwenye dining table akapigwa kimoja hapo hapo. Tukaingia bafuni, nikalamba kingine; tuakaamia chumbani nikalamba kingine. Tumemaliza, nikaona katoa simu anampigia sister yake atachelewa anaenda kwenye Birthday party ya classmate, na anaweza asirudi. Nikajisemea, mambo si ndio haya.

Kale katoto tuliendana sana, maana kanapenda mashine kama her life depends on it. Ila tulikuja kushindwana na tabia ya kuniganda sana. Siku nyingine nawaletea ya mlokole wa fesibuku

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MtamaMchungu said:

Wakati naanza tu 2nd year chuo, siku moja nikaingia zangu darasani mida ya mchana naona kuna kamrembo kadogo kadogo, keupe hivi kamekaa siti ya nyuma peke yake. Huwa navipendaga sana videmu vya namna hii, inakuwaje sijawahi kuka-notice, nikasejisemea katakuwa ni container jipya [Wanaoanza chuo tulikuwa tunasema "container jipya limetema"]. Nikakaa kama rows tatu mbele yake nikafungua laptop yangu nikaanza kujisomea huku kichwani nawaza namna namng'oa huyu binti.

Nikajisemea huyu nitumie strategy ya kibaharia inaitwa "jifanye una shida, akusaidie". Nikaamua kukaachia laptop. Nikamfuata nikampa salam then nikamwambie nimeitwa na lecturer mara moja naomba uniangalizie laptop yangu. Akaniambia anaweza akaondoka muda wowote kwenda kula [Nilijua atanipa story za kuondoka hivi karibuni]. Okay, nikamwambia ngoja nikupe namba yangu, incase ukitaka kuondoka kabla sijarudi, nitafute. Akachukua namba, nikamwambia ni-beep ili ukipiga nijue ni wewe. In truth, wala sikwenda mbali, dakika tano tu nimerudi. Asante sana, tushajuana na got her number now.

Kidogo, nikamtext, "Am very sorry, umenisaidia hata jina sijakuuliza, hata kukusave nimeshindwa", akanijibu jina lake. Mimi nikamwambia, una jina zuri but mimi nakubatiza jina abc, [Lilikuwa la kifaransa maana yake pretty young thing - Baharia chukua hii trick, sio unasave mtu Sikudhani, msave pretty eyes, wanawake vitu vidogo vidogo vinawachanganya sana]. Tukaendelea kuchat pale hilo jina maana yake nini, nikamwambie it's for to find out, ame-google akafurahiiii. Moyoni nikasema amekwisha huyu.

Coincidence ikaja, kumbe anakaa na sister yake njia moja na mimi, huwa nashuka kama vituo vinne mbele yake. Nikamwambia jioni tuondoke wote, ila itabidi tu upitilize ukaone ninapoishi; halafu utarudi zako home, akakubali. Jioni hao kwenye daladala, mpaka home [nilikuwa naisha nyumba nzima peke yangu]. Kufika kashangaa nyumba kubwa upo peke yako blah blah blah, lakini mimi sikai. Nikamwambia let me cook something for you huwezi ondoka na njaa. Nikaingia kwa frigde toa mayai kadhaa na sausage, tengeneza spanish omelette yenye sausage ndani, nikamwekea mtoto mezani. Akaniuliza sasa wewe ya kwako ikwapi, nikamwambia usijali mimi nitakula baadae, this is for you baby.

Wakati anakula nikamfuata kwenye dining table, nikazunguka nyuma yake nikakata kipande kidogo, nikapitisha upande wake wa kulia nikamlisha, then nikamkiss kwenye shingo upande wa kushoto. Na yeye akarudisha favor, ila round hii tutapeana french kiss matata sana. Chakula kikawekwa pembeni, nikampandisha kwenye dining table akapigwa kimoja hapo hapo. Tukaingia bafuni, nikalamba kingine; tuakaamia chumbani nikalamba kingine. Tumemaliza, nikaona katoa simu anampigia sister yake atachelewa anaenda kwenye Birthday party ya classmate, na anaweza asirudi. Nikajisemea, mambo si ndio haya.

Kale katoto tuliendana sana, maana kanapenda mashine kama her life depends on it. Ila tulikuja kushindwana na tabia ya kuniganda sana. Siku nyingine nawaletea ya mlokole wa fesibuku

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Akili 09 Nguvu 01 said:

Katika wote waliokula madem iwe kimasihara au planned naona wote wamekula madem classic madem wazur mara wa geti kali. Kwan hawa madem wa kawaida ambao co warembo sana hawaliki kimasihara?
Ni mkuu mmoja tu Juma p Maharage yeye peke yake ndo amekiri kwa kinywa chake kua alimla kimasihara Kichaa mmoja ambae alizoeana nae.
Mkuu Juma p Maharage rudi bhana umalizie ile stori yako tyjue uyo kichaa wako alipatwa na nini hadi akapotea mtaani hapo?

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MtamaMchungu said:

Hahaha ni kama jamaa alikuwa anatoa story ya kukimbiza swala, akafika kwenye kumpiga ngwara swala, simu ikaita. Amemaliza kuongea na simu anauliza hivi niliishia wapi, wana wakamwambia ulimpiga ngwara. Jamaa akaendelea, nikamvua bra na chupi.... Watu wakamkumbusha mzee ni swala unaongelea!

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ilonga said:

Baharia, inawezekana huyo dada alitoa utamu kwako ili kupata pesa ya kutatua changamoto alizonazo mama yake. Just make it a fair game. Tafadhali, mtumie mama hiyo pesa, au hata nusu yake. Fanya iwe win-win situation. Hii imenigusa sana.

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sumbai said:

Mkuu huyo binti ulitakiwa umuoe

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komanyahenry said:

Jana nimekula mademu wawili kimasihara. Kuna mama mmoja tupo nae ofisini, kama wiki hivi amekuja kutembelewa na mwanae maana now tupo government city idodomya. Yule bi mkubwa alikuwa na mzigo wangu ivyo akanielekeza nikauchukue kwake ila akanipa angalizo nisije nikamlamba mwanae maana anajua tabia yangu. Nikazama ndani kuchukua mzigo namkuta mwanae tukapiga piga story mbili tatu huku namshika, nafika kifuani dogo katulia, piga denda katulia tuu, nikapima oil dogo kaanza kulegea. Mzee baba nikainamisha sebuleni nikapiga bao langu moja nikasepa maana mida ya kurudi bi mkubwa ilikuwa ishakalibia. Nafika home nijiandae kuja dar kwa ajili ya kula xmas kuna demu mmoja jirani yangu ila nae yupo ofisi flani ya serikali akawa anataka lift ya kuja dar, akaja na best ake, si nikawa namtania amuache mwenzake, kimasihara akamuacha kweli nikazama nae chumbani maana nilikuwa na taulo tuu baada ya kutoka kuoga, nikaanza kubembeleza demu aachie mzigo akawa anagoma ikabidi mzee baba niahidi zawadi, dogo akapanda dau anataka nimtumie mama yake laki moja, nikakubali kumpa ila cash, dogo akagoma akataka nitume kwenye simu na mm nakomaa tutapitia atm nitoe nimpe cash, badae dogo kukubali nikala mzigo na ela sikumpa kaishia kulalamika kwa nilichomfanyia

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Da'Vinci said:

Mtumie hiyo hela mama yake please..
Kama una uwezo. Wewe hujifikirii kwanini kaomba umtumie mama yake?

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kelphin kepph said:

Ngoja nkae sawa nlete changu

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Vumbi La Dar- mpululu said:

Asipotuma hiyo pesa Kwa mama mtu- nitahakikisha anapoteza million moja kimasihara before tarehe moja January.

Nishawahi kugegeda MTU Arusha... Baadaye najikuta sina hela ya kumlipa Kwa mujibu wa makubaliano. Nikaomba number ili baadaye nikipata nitumie, akasema anaamin nimeamua kumdhulum. Akanipa number kila MTU na safari zake, baadaye nikasafiri, after 4 days nikakumbuka Nina deni la Kulipia K, nikatuma mara mbili yake. Huwezi Amin nikienda Ar SASA huyo manzi napiga bure bila malipo ya moja Kwa moja.

Uaminifu ni hazina. Mlipe mdada mama yake asherekee Christmas

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kelphin kepph said:

Kunasiku nlikua Mimi na (rickross) jina lake la utani
Tulikua site tunapga kaz yetu
Wakapita mademu wawili...Mimi nikamwambia rickross yule mrefu namwita mm ...waliposogea mm nkamfata Bert na jamaa akamfata yule mwingine
Nkachukua namba yake...na jamaa nae akapewa
Wale mademu walikua wanafanya kaz sehemu furani pamoja
Sasa muda wa wao kutoka Ni lazima watoke wore na niusuku tu kuanzia sa4
Mimi nikamtongoza huyu wakwangu....najamaa akatongoza yule.....(jamaa akakataliwa)
Sikumoja nikamset akaja geto nikala mzigo fresh
Sasa sikumoja wale mademu waliacha kazi nakwakua wageni waliamua kupanga Gest huku wanatafuta chumba
So nkawa nkitoka job naenda kuwachek then naenda get
Sikumoja nkawa nampgia simu hapokei...baada ya dk kama 5 namba ngeni ikaingia akasema bet kaacha simu kaenda kuchepuka.........nkasema poa nlikua nje apa nakuja bas ngoja niende home
Akajib pow
Baadae nkaenda Gest pale sikumkuta Bert nkamkuta yule rafik ake aliemkataa best yangu
Ile naingia nakuta kavaa kanga nyeupe
Kichupi Cha pink kinaonekana.,..kwa aibu nkamsalimia akaitikia
Nkaulza Bert yupo wap akasema kama nlivokwambia

Akaanza afu shem sim yangu msg nkituma haziendi njoo nsaidie....nkakaa kitandani....nkawa hata nachofanya sielewi
Dushe limesimama aaaaatar
Duh si akaona akaanza kucheka akasema Leo utakoma
Baadae kakazuga kamelala..nkakashika tako kametulia nkafunua kanga kametulia nkawa nawaza ndom Sina ntakuraje mzigo
Nkaplay nyimbo nkazuga napokea jamaa ananpgia nkatoka nkamwambia narud sio mda
Kumbe nmeenda kununua mzigo
Kurud nkakuta kametupa na kanga nkala mzigo vzuriiii kabsa....
Ile tu natoka na Bert anaingia kordon tukapishana nkasepaaaa
Kilichofuata[emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]

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kelphin kepph said:

Kunasiku nlikua Mimi na (rickross) jina lake la utani
Tulikua site tunapga kaz yetu
Wakapita mademu wawili...Mimi nikamwambia rickross yule mrefu namwita mm ...waliposogea mm nkamfata Bert na jamaa akamfata yule mwingine
Nkachukua namba yake...na jamaa nae akapewa
Wale mademu walikua wanafanya kaz sehemu furani pamoja
Sasa muda wa wao kutoka Ni lazima watoke wore na niusuku tu kuanzia sa4
Mimi nikamtongoza huyu wakwangu....najamaa akatongoza yule.....(jamaa akakataliwa)
Sikumoja nikamset akaja geto nikala mzigo fresh
Sasa sikumoja wale mademu waliacha kazi nakwakua wageni waliamua kupanga Gest huku wanatafuta chumba
So nkawa nkitoka job naenda kuwachek then naenda get
Sikumoja nkawa nampgia simu hapokei...baada ya dk kama 5 namba ngeni ikaingia akasema bet kaacha simu kaenda kuchepuka.........nkasema poa nlikua nje apa nakuja bas ngoja niende home
Akajib pow
Baadae nkaenda Gest pale sikumkuta Bert nkamkuta yule rafik ake aliemkataa best yangu
Ile naingia nakuta kavaa kanga nyeupe
Kichupi Cha pink kinaonekana.,..kwa aibu nkamsalimia akaitikia
Nkaulza Bert yupo wap akasema kama nlivokwambia

Akaanza afu shem sim yangu msg nkituma haziendi njoo nsaidie....nkakaa kitandani....nkawa hata nachofanya sielewi
Dushe limesimama aaaaatar
Duh si akaona akaanza kucheka akasema Leo utakoma
Baadae kakazuga kamelala..nkakashika tako kametulia nkafunua kanga kametulia nkawa nawaza ndom Sina ntakuraje mzigo
Nkaplay nyimbo nkazuga napokea jamaa ananpgia nkatoka nkamwambia narud sio mda
Kumbe nmeenda kununua mzigo
Kurud nkakuta kametupa na kanga nkala mzigo vzuriiii kabsa....
Ile tu natoka na Bert anaingia kordon tukapishana nkasepaaaa
Kilichofuata[emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]

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Da'Vinci said:

Mtumie hiyo hela mama yake please..
Kama una uwezo. Wewe hujifikirii kwanini kaomba umtumie mama yake?

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KANYEGELO said:

Wakati mwingine unaweza ukadhani ni mama yake kumbe wana laini mbili ,

Hiyo mm ilinikuta nilikwapua demu huko badoo tumeingia room anadai hoo nyumbani kuna kikao halafu hamna mahitaji sasa nataka umtumie kwenye mpesa !

Nikamuuliza umenipa hiyo hela ya kumtumia akaanza bona uko hivyo ....basi tuache siku nyingine sasa

Nikamwambia basi poa .....ondoka akaghuna mmh njoo basi akashuka mpk sh 15000/- tuma kwanza nikatuma

Nikala mzigo halafu nikaomba kuirudisha ile hela demu ameshaondoka

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LUCKDUBE said:

[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]

Kuoa unakuchukulia poa kiasi hiki, JF mnafurahisha sana, alafu wengine mmekomaa jamaa atume laki,
Yaani mnaona laki kama buku,

Kumbe humu ndani kuna watu wanamapesa ya kumwaga.

Sema jamaa nae alizingua kuomba mzigo kwa kutumia pesa direct Tena pesa nyingi kiasi hicho.

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Goite said:

AMINI usiamini, kula tunda kimasiara kunatokea kila siku, Hii yangu imetokea dk chache zilzopita leo hii

Kuna manzi alikuja kwa mwenye nyumba hapa ninapoishi, siku 1 nikamtania "Uje unitembelee(chumbani kwangu)" akajibu "Siwez kuingia humo kwako" nikakausha.

Siku nyingine akaniambia "Mbona nilikuja sikukukuta?" Nikashangaa, ikabidi niulize "USIKU HUKUNIKUTA?? (maana nyumbani nakuwepo usiku tu) akajibu "EEH!" nikakaa kimya.


Sasa leo hii,Tena saa hii hii saa 8 mchana, niko geto Sina hili wala lile, naangalia zangu wimbo wa GOOD LUCK GOZBERT wa SHUKURANI, nashangaa mtu ndani, et "NAMBIE SASA ULICHOKUWA UNATAKA KUNIAMBIA"

Nikaulza wako wapi?(wengine) akasema hawapo, mwenye nyumba amelala, nikamwambia sogea nikwambie, hapo nimejilaza chali, mara huyoo, shika mkono, ingiza mkono kwenye chupi, akataka kuzuia..nikapekeza had kwenye papuchi..chezea kisimi, hapo bado amesimama na mm nimejilaza.


Akataka kutoka nje et watamsikia, nikanyanyuka, nikarudisha mlango(maana nilkuwa nimefungua kidoogo hewa iingie, nikarusha na pazia.

Nikamgeuza, yaani akawa anaangalia kitandani, nikaingiza mkono kwenye beg, kulikuwa na kindomo 2 tu, 1 ilikuwemo toka muda na nyingine imebaki juz jumamosi.


Nikamuinamisha nikamgegeda ki1 cha fasta, maninah.

YAANI imekuwa kimasihara Sana mazee

Goite

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