Samboko
JF-Expert Member
- Oct 30, 2011
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- 7,788
Kama sivyo basi umbea ulimponza kwenda kutangaza habari zikamfikia akamkaushia jamaa.
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Kama sivyo basi umbea ulimponza kwenda kutangaza habari zikamfikia akamkaushia jamaa.Mkuu shoo ilikuwa chini ya kiwango nini hakukushtua mrudie mnyukano!!!
Au jamaa aliepewa taarifa alienda kumharibia kwa demu.Ukiona umempiga demu anaamka anaenda kunawa tambua kuwa in undererfomance na ukiona hakutafuti tena jua hukumlizisha uliishia kumchafua pole sana kaka. Umetuaibisha mabaharia kwa kucheza shoo za chini ya kiwango.
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Na sanda yenyewe tunamchangia sisi[emoji23][emoji23]Mkuu wewe huna hela,ila unahisi ni mmoja kati ya wenye hela,
Ukitaka kusaidia mtu huja haja ya kumchunguza,
Acha roho mbaya,hizi hela tutaziacha hapa duniani sisi tutaenda na sanda tu.
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Hamna, wewe unaweza kuwa imetokea tu lkn mwenzio alikuwa anakuwinda muda mrefu na kakuwekea mkakati
Utuombee na sisi wakosefu.
Utuombee na sisi wakosefu.
Yaani ya leo haikua na sehemu ya kugegedana lkn karibu mda wote naisoma mnara unasoma 3G, uko vizuri sana kwenye uandishi.The continuing story of how I met my wife.
{kwa wiki mbili sasa nipo moja ya nchi za Asia nikifukuzia deals kadhaa. Kumradhi nilishindwa kuendelea kuweka mfululizo wa hiki kisa. Ila usiku huu, ambao hapo home ni jioni bado, naomba niwaletee muendelezo. Tukumbuke pia wakati mwingine inabidi nidilute sana uhalisia ili kuendelea kuweka reasonable doubt kwa wote watakaohisi wanahusika}
Norah alizoea sana kuja kwangu, huenda kwa sababu ya hobbie mpya nliyo mjengea ya kusoma vitabu, au huenda home alikua anakua bored sana, or maybe she just liked my company, maana ingawa nlikuwa nimemzidi miaka takribani 7 lakini compared to other neighbours, I was younger and huenda alikua anajisikia faraja ile kuhang out na mm. kwahiyo mara nyingi weekends alikua ikifika mida ya saa tisa anakuja.
Pamoja na kuwa alipazoea sana pale kwangu kiasi cha kutokua anabisha hodi mlangoni [yaani alikua anaita tu broooo!!!, then anafungua mlango], tulitokea kuzoeana sana pia. Yale mazoea utadhani marafiki wa siku mingi. Tulijikuta tumezoeana mpaka akawa anatumia choo changu (ingawa choo kilikua ndani ya nyumba, ila hakikua chumbani), utasikia anasema, “bro, nataka nkakate gogo”, na mimi namtania [sitaki harufu kwangu kiddo, go home], then anakimbilia toilet kwangu huku anacheka. We were that close.
Ingawa we were very close, ila hajawahi niuliza issue za kuwa na demu, wala mm sjawahi muuliza kuhusu kuwa na boyfriend, I just assumed she is too young to have one. Apart from the books we both liked, story nyingine tulizokua tunapiga nae ni kuhusu magari (we both loved cars, big luxury cars), pia tuliongea kuhusu her mother sometimes. Na ndipo nilipogundua the impact of mahusiano yangu na boss Rona. Kwa mujibu wa huyu Norah, katika kipindi hiki since ametoka shule mama yake amekua na furaha muda wote.
Nilipo muhoji “ina maana mama yako alikua hana furaha siku zote?” akasema, sio kuwa hakua na furaha, ila kipindi hiki anaionesha live, yaani anatabasamu mara kwa mara hata bila sababu, anacheza Zaidi na watoto, sometimes akitoka job akinikuta ataninyanyua aanze kunichum na kuanza kucheza na mimi mziki hata kama hakuna mziki unaoimba, so the happiness is more evident kipindi hiki. “kuna kitu kinampa furaha, and I’m happy she is happy, whatever she is using she must keep it”. Mimi nikajikuta tu nahamisha mada,…
Pia katika maongezi ndo nikajua ameshamaliza kidato cha nne. Alikua anapenda kusomea sheria ingawa mama yake alipenda awe daktari. Mm nikamwambia itategemea umefaulu masomo yepi, akatoa ile sauti ya kicheko cha kuguna, then akasema, “you know nothing, bro” akikopi msemo maarufu wa kwenye kitabu alichokua anasoma kipindi hico cha ‘A song of ice and fire’ a.k.a game of thrones (you know nothing John Snow). Baadae matokeo yalivyotoka ndo nikajua alimaanisha nini, dogo alipata marks za chini kwenye Mathematics na Civics ambazo alikua na C, masomo mengine yote biashara, sayansi na Sanaa alikua na A na B.
Pia alikua anasema ingawa atasoma sheria ila baadae sana ataanzisha biashara yake mwenyewe. Basi nikajikuta naropoka tu, “itabidi usomee biashara, why waste time on law wakati unapenda kufanya biashara”. Akasema, napenda vyote, sheria itanifanya niwe na title ila biashara itanipa pesa. “bt biashara itakupa vyote, title na pesa”, akatoa tena kile kicheko chake. Kasha akasema “ntasoma Law au Medicine anayotaka mama, biashara inafanywa, haisomewi bro”.
Oneday kama kawaida yake mida ya saa tisa na nusu kaja. Kufika mlangoni akaita, ila hakuingia. Aliona viatu vya kike mlangoni. Akawa anarudi. Mimi kwakuwa nlishasikia anaita, nikamuwahi kabla hajafika mbali. “hey Kiddo, karibu ndani”, akanigeukia, sura yake sikuweza kuisoma kama amekasirika ama la, ila ule uchangamfu hakua nao. “ntakuja kesho”. Akageuka zake akawa anasepa. Nikatamani nianze kujieleza, ila nikawa nashindwa. Maana nikijielezea itakua kama najitetea wakati its not like we were lovers, she was just a friend. So nikabaki nimesimama namuangalia tu mpaka kapotelea uelekeo wa home kwao.
Nimerudi ndani aliyekuepo akaanza kunicheka. Alikua ni my twin sis ambaye yeye na maza walikua Dodoma kwa issue ya biashara lakini pia kunisalimia. Sis yeye alikuja mapema ila mom alisema atakuja jioni sana. Pamoja na kuwa sikuwa nafanya chochote kwenye kampuni ya familia, ila nilikua na shares in the company. Mwisho wa mwaka kama hivi, ilikua ni lazima niparticipate kwenye vikao vya bodi ya wakurugenzi. Mom na Sis walikua waendeshaji wa shughuri za kila siku, ila inapofikia wakati maamuzi makubwa hasa yanayohitaji kupiga kura I was involved na kura yangu mara nyingi ilikua inakua upande anaoutetea mama yangu. Sikua na akili, ujuzi wala mbinu za uendeshaji biashara, and my mom built the company on her own, so I always sided with her judgement.
Norah alikua amesema atakuja next day, right? Guess what, hakuja hiyo next day na sikumuona the following week, na the other week. Wiki mbili sijamuona. Hadi ijumaa ya wiki ya pili, boss Rona akaniita ofisini kwake, nikajua anataka dushe ofisini, I was not in the mood. Sikujua hata why najisikia kama napaswa kuonana na Norah nimwambie kuwa alichokiona sicho anachofikiria. And this pissed me off in a way.
Nlipoingia tu ofisini kwa boss, akasema “kesho jumamosi ni birthday ya Norah, ukaribie. I consider you her friend so najua atafurahi ukiwepo”, nikamjibu tu sawa. Wakati natoka nikasikia, “by the way, I miss you. Ntapitia kwako leo, ok”, “No my sister is around, akiondoka ntakujulisha”, then nikafungua mlango nikasepa. Sikua nimemdanganya, Sis kweli alikuepo, alikua na bwana ake Dodoma so wakati mama alikaa wiki moja, yeye aliendelea kuwepo Dom.
Jumamosi mida ya saa moja, nikatoka home mm na sis. Ingawa alikua my twin, ila good looks zote nilichukua mimi. Yeye alipewa tu shape. Na kweli kajaaliwa. That day she dressed to kill. Akawa amenishika mkono ili kupata sapoti ya kutembea na high heels, tukatinga kwa Boss. Aliyetufungulia mlango, Norah. Alivyotuona sura yake ikajikunja kwa nusu dakika alafu akarudia hali ya kawaida, ingekua vigumu kugundua kama ningekua simfaham vizuri, bt I knw muonekano wetu ulimtatiza kiasi. “karibuni” tukaingia, tukamkabidhi zawadi tulizokuja nazo, (nlimletea kitabu cha George Clason kinaitwa ‘The richest man in Babylon’, perfume and a T-shirt) then nikamuacha sis pale sebuleni na wadada/wamama wengine, nikapitiliza hadi nyuma ya nyumba ambako wababa/wakaka wengi walikuepo wakikata ulabu. Sikua hata na hamu ya pombe, so was just drinking water.
Muda wa party niliutumia kupiga story na watu mbalimbali, bahati nzuri asilimia kubwa ilikua wafanyakazi wenzangu, kuna muda nikajikuta napiga story na KM mwenyewe. Akawa ananipa story alivyokuwa mchezaji maarufu na namna ambavyo mpira haujamlipa kama wachezaji wa siku hizi, mm namsikiliza tu, kwa mtu aliyekua ananifahamu ange detect kabisa leo Kiga hayuko sawa. Wakati wa msosi sis alikuja tukawa wote, yeye ndo nadhani alinisoma vizuri na sababu ya kutokua sawa aliigundua pia. Aliona kila mara namuangalia Norah, and I was not happy.
Wakati sis amerudisha vyombo tulivyotumia, baada kama ya dkk 10 hivi nikamuona anakuja nilipokua akiwa ameongozana na Norah. Nikawa namuangalia vizuri sasa Norah,. Alivaa top nyekundu ikiwa na picha ya ua rose kifuani, alikua na sketi fupi kiasi inayofika juu kidogo ya magoti na kukuachia kidogo tu uone mahali utam unapoanzia. Sketi ilikua nyeusi na sio za kubana, ilikua kwa ndani ni kama ngozi inayoshine, ila ina layer kwa nje ambayo ni kitambaa chenye matundu kama ya chandarua. Mguuni alivaa viatu vyenye kisigino kirefu kiasi, kikiwa na kamba flani za ngozi amezizungusha hadi chini kidogo ya magoti.
Juu ya kitop alichokua amevaa alikuwa ameweka kikoti cheusi cha jeans, ila kikoti kilikua kifupi kinaishia chini kidogo ya mbavu ya mwisho, naam usawa wa kitovu. Nywele aliziachia zichanue, nywele zake kawaida hua zinakama mawimbi ila siku hiyo sijui aliziwekea nini, zilikua zimenyooka kikining’inia mabegani. Ile sura ya kihabeshi ilimpa muonekano flani amazing, hasa pua yake iliyochongoka na macho ambayo mara zote nimekua nikiyasifia.
“shikamoo”, nikashtuka, nikakaa sekunde kadhaa nashindwa kuitikia. Kwasababu kwanza sio kuwa ndo tulikua tunaonana, tulishaonana mlangoni. Pili, hakua na mazoea ya kunipa shikamoo Zaidi ya zile siku za kwanza kwanza kuonana. “Marahaba” hatimaye nikaitikia. Then nikaanza eti kuwatambulisha, wakati wamekuja wote hahahaha, “Norah huyu twin sis wangu anaitwa xxx”, sis akadakia, “tambulisha vizuri dogo, mwambie kabisa mm ndo kulwa”, for the first time in weeks nikaona tena tabasamu la Norah. I smiled back. “well”, Norah akadakia “nlikua najua Bro….. Kiga ana twin sis bt sikujua yupo Dodoma”, nikatumia hiyo fursa kujielezea sasa, “that day ulivyokuja ukaishia mlangoni ndo alikua amefika, nilikuomba uingie nikutambulishe ukakataa”, nilijieleza kwa sauti ile ya kama unalaum. Sis ikabidi atuache, Norah akakaa near me, “am sorry, sikujua, nilikua nna ……..” kabla hajamaliza tukasikia MC wa siku hiyo anamuita ili tumuimbie happy birthday na kukata keki. So akasepa kabla hata hatujaongea fresh.
Baada ya birthday song, akawalisha keki watu wake wa karibu, mimi sikuwa kwenye list, na hata sikumind. Then Boss kasimama akatoa kahotuba kafupi, akasema “ingawa leo ni siku ya kuzaliwa mwanangu kipenzi, na rafiki yangu mkubwa Norah, lakini tumetumia siku hii pia kumpongeza kufanya vyema mitihani yake (tukapiga makofi). Pia siku hii tunamuaga rasmi maana jumatatu shule zinafunguliwa na kesho jumapili tunasafiri kwenda Mwanza (watu wakapiga makofi, mimi nikawa nimeduwaa tu). Mwanangu ameamua kwenda kusoma masomo ya biashara, tunachukua nafasi hii kumpongeza sana na Mungu akamsimamie (makofi Zaidi)”. Boss alivyotamka Norah anaenda kusoma biashara, tukajikuta tumeangaliana na Norah, akatabasam then akawa anaongea bila kutoa sauti kwa ishara ya mdomo tu akisema “thank you”.
Pati imeisha pale, nikawa najiuliza namuagaje Norah, maana kesho asbh ndo anasepa. Nikawa sina jinsi kabisa wala idea. Tukawa tunaondoka tu na sis, tukafika mpaka walipo Norah na mama yake (walikua wamesimama pamoja wakiaga wageni mbalimbali) Sis akacheza kama Messi. “Norah nimefurahi kusikia unaenda kusomea biashara, mimi pia nilisoma hiyohiyo kombi, na ungekua huondoki kesho ningekupatia kitabu flani kingekusaidia sana”, “wow, unasafirigi nacho?” boss Rona akauliza, “hapana, huyu dogo (akimaanisha mimi) alikichuguaga home sijui alidhani ni novel”. “basi nendeni nae akichukue, ila Kiga hakikisha unamsindikiza wakati wa kurudi maana anaeza kutana na hawa walevi waliokua hapa wakamsumbua”,..
My sis was very good in Mathematics, na watu wa aina yake huwa wana intelligence inayoitwa “logical”, (according to mwanafalsafa mmoja anaitwa Howard Gardner, kuna intelligences tofauti zaidi ya tisa, so hakuna mtu ambaye sio intelligent, ndo maana huwezi sema Nyerere alikua intelligent Zaidi ya Hemedi Maneti au Remmy Ongala or kuwa Bakhresa ni intelligent Zaidi ya Malota Soma au Hussein Masha) sasa hawa watu wenye logical intelligence usiombe ucheze nao mchezo wa draft, wanauwezo wa kufikiria hatua Zaidi ya tatu kabla yako. Na ndicho kilichotokea nadhani, Sis alicheza kete moja tu, Boss Rona kajileta mwenyewe katoa kingi yake.
Hao, mimi, Sis na Norah mguu mpaka home. Sis akawa anatupigisha stori pale, mimi naitikia tu, Norah yeye hakua anasema kitu, sijui alikua anawaza leo anaenda kuliwa hahahaha. Kufika sis kaingia kajidai anatafuta kitabu, then akasema “dogo mrudishe mwenzio, kitabu nadhani maza kaondoka nacho, nitampelekea nikienda Mwanza next month”. Basi tukawa tunatembea mdogomdogo zile za sekunde tatu hatua moja, mwanzoni hata tukawa tunashindwa tuongee nini, ikawa kama hata hatufahamiani, wakati we were like best friends. Baadae nikaona amenisogelea huku tunatembea, then akanishika mkono. Nikajidai sijafeel kitu, tukaendelea kutembea taratibu, ikabidi nivunje ukimya, “mvua siku nyingi hazijanyesha”, and she loughed, she loughed hard yani, ile ya kuvunja mbavu. “mambo ya mvua yametoka wapi?”, [sasa ningesema nini mwenyewe umenuna], akazidi kucheka, wakati huo tulikua tushafika pembeni ya ukuta wa nyumba wanayokaa.
She turned to look at me, hakua karibu sana, alikua ile tunaiita safe distance. With those big cute eyes she looked at me and asked, “will you miss me?” while staring back at those eyes nikamjibu [offcourse kiddo, I will miss you much], “utamiss nini Zaidi?” akaendelea kuuliza, [our conversations], she smiled, akawa ametazama chini, nikaendelea [and your smell, and your laughter, and your beauty and most of all your eyes], nliposema eyes akanitazama tena, as if kusema here they are. Nikamuuliza pia, [will you miss me], she didn’t reply, after few seconds of silence, she approached me, from safe distance tukawa sasa kwenye ile ‘anything can happen distance’,…
She put her hands around my neck and invited me to kiss. I accepted. She had this taste that I cant describe. Ladha flani hivi ya innocence. I was kissing her upper lip, yeye anakiss ya chini, tulianza kichwa changu kulia kwake chake kukulia kwangu, then vichwa kikabadilishana positions lips nazo zikabadilishana positions. She was soft. Muda huo, my hands zikawa zinatambaa mgongoni kwake, baada ya muda nikasema isije lolote likatokea nikaondoka bila kushika tako lake. Nikateremsha mikono nikayashika. Nikaona kama amestop kunikiss kwa sekunde kama mbili then akaendelea, nikajua hapa nimepewa go ahead ya kupapasa tako. Nikaingiza sasa mikono kwa ndani ya sketi kupitia kiunoni, vidole vikapenya hadi ndani ya chupi yote hii niliguse tu tako live. Yah yah yah yah yah yah, nlivyoyafikia sikujutia. Yalikua laini balaa, madogo … hapana nisiseme madogo, niseme sio makubwa, yes sio makubwa ila malaini.
Mzee nikawa nayaminya kama Bill Nas (Samahani Nandy kama utasoma hapa). Ile pindo la sketi kiunoni likawa linalimit movement zangu, nikachomoa mikono nikaipitisha chini ya sketi, nlivyofika kwenye chupi kikaikamata kuishusha, ila kabla sijafanya nlichokusudia akajichomoa fasta. Hapo nimedinda mbaya. Akawa amesimama anajiweka sawa, nikawa namsogelea nilianzishe tena. Nikasikia “stop”, nikaacha. Akanitazama tena usoni, akasmile then akanambia “goodnight bro”, akasepa mhabeshi wangu.
NB. Picha kwa msaada wa google.
Kesho muda kama huu ntaendelea.View attachment 1367283
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Izo mambo zinaitaji uwe konki kidgo ..ukiwa boya boya unaeza liwa ata wewe..Mzeee unapenda kula papuchi kwa masihara zingne huwa zina umande[emoji13][emoji13][emoji13][emoji13][emoji13][emoji13]
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Hahahaha Sema jamaa kazingua kinoma.Kama we ni mwanaume unacheka hadi kijambo kinaponyoka basi una uwalakini
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Juz usiku mida ya saa tano natoka zangu ilala naenda kinondoni, nipo kwenye daladala, nimekaa na dada mmoja anaonekana anawasiwasi, kumbe ni mgeni katoka mbeya, kila kituo gari ikifika anamuuliza konda kama kafika kituo anachokwenda(Alikuwa mgeni katoka mkoani), kumuuliza anapokwenda kumbe anaenda kushuka kituo nachoshuka mimi nikamwambia usiwe na wasi wasi nami naenda kudrop hapo hapo, Tumefika tukashuka, kaanza kumpigia mwenyeji wake jamaa alikuwa analewa maeneo ya govenors huko hana hata habari na simu hapokei, Kimasihara tu nikamwambia kuwa twende basi home ukamsubiri au wakati tupo njian akirespond utamfuata, akawa kama anasita akakubali kishingo upande sababu hana namna na hapajui governors, nikamdaidia kibegi chake mpaka home tukafika nikampa msosi na vitu kama hivyo, nikamwambia kaoge akipiga tutajua tu, hapa ndio balaa lilipoanza, kaenda kuoga katoka kaniomba taulo yupo uchi wa mnyama, hata kama wewe ungevilia ? Nampelekea taulo akili haifanyi kazi aisee, nikaanza kumshika shika napeleka mkono kwene papuch kaloa nikavaa ndomu nikapiga, jamaa linakuja kurespond mida ya saa tisa, nampigia boda wangu anakuja akampeleka kwa jamaake, Naomba jamaa anisamehe katoto kazuri vile huwez kaacha loose hivyo, alafu hizi pombe mnakunywa mpaka hamjielew mtapigiwa wanawake zenu mpaka mchanganyikiwe,
Kitu nlichojifunza ni kwamba mwenye nacho huongezewa, ukiwa lonely hakuna mwanamke anakutafuta au hata ukijalibu unachezea vya mbavu vya kutosha ila ukiwa na chombo yako moja matata wanawake wanakujaga kasi sana na kila ukigusa imo, wanawake wanapenda marudeboys kuliko magoodboys sijui kwanini...This year I am looking foward to get married nishawakaza sana hakuna jipya, its wastage of time and money., ingekuwa nimeibvest kwenye elimu ningekuwa na phd saivi [emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]
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Kaweka majan mengi[emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]
kelphin kepph