Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
niaje wadau tumeni vichekesho kwenye uzi huu (vichekesho tuondoe stress)[emoji2] [emoji3] [emoji12]
Utani connection
Utani connection
- Thread starter Shadrack K. Lwila
- Start date
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #2
*OFA! OFA! OFA!*
Mlete mpenzi wako kwangu
msimu huu wa SIKUKUU na ujipatie mtoto wa BURE
kabisa. Watu 10 wa kwanza watajipatia mapacha.
WAHI SASA mbegu ni chache!![emoji1]
Mlete mpenzi wako kwangu
msimu huu wa SIKUKUU na ujipatie mtoto wa BURE
kabisa. Watu 10 wa kwanza watajipatia mapacha.
WAHI SASA mbegu ni chache!![emoji1]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #3
Jana usiku kuna Jirani yangu..kanitumia text "mambo vipi?"...halafu tunakaa nae mtaa mmoja nikaona nikimjibu ni uharibifu wa hela nikaenda kumgongea mlango saa 7 usiku. Alipofungua nikamjibu "shwari"halafu nikarudi nyumbani kulala zangu..
Sipendagi kuchezea salio..
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Sipendagi kuchezea salio..
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #4
Athisa
Aisa
Amya
Anewa
Astylea
Aofa
Awishinga
Ayoua
Aaa
Amerrya
Axmasa,
Unashangaa nn? Tatizo lako ukiambiwa nenda Shule ulikua unakimbilia Vibanda vya Mihogo,Na mishikaki najua hujaelewa, kama hujaelewa soma tena halafu toa Herufi A ya kwanza na A ya mwisho, watumie wenzako wote wasiojua kusoma!
Aisa
Amya
Anewa
Astylea
Aofa
Awishinga
Ayoua
Aaa
Amerrya
Axmasa,
Unashangaa nn? Tatizo lako ukiambiwa nenda Shule ulikua unakimbilia Vibanda vya Mihogo,Na mishikaki najua hujaelewa, kama hujaelewa soma tena halafu toa Herufi A ya kwanza na A ya mwisho, watumie wenzako wote wasiojua kusoma!
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #5
COMEDY:
*Usifikiri Watu wote ni Wajinga Hawaelewi Mafumbo.*
Jamaa na Mke wake walikuwa bado Wamelala Asubuhi.
Ghafla Mtu akapiga Hodi kwenye mlango.
Mke akaenda kufungua mlango.
Bahati mbaya kumbe ni mpango Wake wa Kando.
*MKE:* Unataka nini we Mpumbavu?
*MUME:* Nani huyo una Mtukana?
*MKE:*Kuna Mtu hapa
Anakichwa kama Nenda urudi Baadae.
*Mpango wa kando:* Nawewe Pua kama... Poa.
*MKE:* Miguu kama Masaa
Mawili hivi.
*Mpango wa kando:* Masikio kama Sitachelewa.
*MKE:* Ondoka hapa mjinga wewe! Akafunga Mlango.
*MUME:* Mwambie ana Magoti kama Sitoki leo.
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
*Usifikiri Watu wote ni Wajinga Hawaelewi Mafumbo.*
Jamaa na Mke wake walikuwa bado Wamelala Asubuhi.
Ghafla Mtu akapiga Hodi kwenye mlango.
Mke akaenda kufungua mlango.
Bahati mbaya kumbe ni mpango Wake wa Kando.
*MKE:* Unataka nini we Mpumbavu?
*MUME:* Nani huyo una Mtukana?
*MKE:*Kuna Mtu hapa
Anakichwa kama Nenda urudi Baadae.
*Mpango wa kando:* Nawewe Pua kama... Poa.
*MKE:* Miguu kama Masaa
Mawili hivi.
*Mpango wa kando:* Masikio kama Sitachelewa.
*MKE:* Ondoka hapa mjinga wewe! Akafunga Mlango.
*MUME:* Mwambie ana Magoti kama Sitoki leo.
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #6
*_Mademu wa siku hizi bhana....ukimtokea kama katoka kuachika utasikia_* *_"please...sitaki mapenzi tena maana mpenzi wangu niliekuwa nae_* *_kaniachia Shimo kubwa moyoni mwangu"_*
*_Dada zangu kuweni wakweli...kila mtu anajua wapi umeachiwa shimo kubwa..wala sio moyoni...semeni ukweli bhana_* [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
**cm yng cjui ina matatizo gan inajpoct yenyew
*_Dada zangu kuweni wakweli...kila mtu anajua wapi umeachiwa shimo kubwa..wala sio moyoni...semeni ukweli bhana_* [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
**cm yng cjui ina matatizo gan inajpoct yenyew
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #7
*Msichana unamtembelea Mwanaume wako na Mkoba mkubwa umejaa vitu mbali mbali isipokuwa nauli. Kwann lakini??.........[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] tumechoka*
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #8
PANUAA! Naogoopa!
PANUAA! Naogoopa!
Ni maneno yakitokea chumbani yakamfanya mpita njia ajisogeze dirishani.
Waogopa nn?
Ntatoka damu nyingi.
Kwani ndio mara yako ya kwanza?
Ndio!
Jikaze bac
cwezi,
kwani Hujawahi hata cku 1?
Ndio tangu nizaliwe cjawahi kung'oa jino"
mpita njia akakasirika: tunatiana nyege bure kumbe hii zahanati! Kumanina zenu .[emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]
PANUAA! Naogoopa!
Ni maneno yakitokea chumbani yakamfanya mpita njia ajisogeze dirishani.
Waogopa nn?
Ntatoka damu nyingi.
Kwani ndio mara yako ya kwanza?
Ndio!
Jikaze bac
cwezi,
kwani Hujawahi hata cku 1?
Ndio tangu nizaliwe cjawahi kung'oa jino"
mpita njia akakasirika: tunatiana nyege bure kumbe hii zahanati! Kumanina zenu .[emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #9
"KAUL MBIU YA WIKI HII"
Mpenzi wako akikuambia wewe ni My Number One, amekuweka wazi kuwa kuna,
No 2
No 3
No 4
No 5.....!
Na akikuambia kuwa wewe ni " Special " ujue kuna " Mitumba "
Akikuambia " Baby " ujue anamiliki watu wazima zaidi yako.
T A KE C A R E:[emoji87][emoji87][emoji87]
Mpenzi wako akikuambia wewe ni My Number One, amekuweka wazi kuwa kuna,
No 2
No 3
No 4
No 5.....!
Na akikuambia kuwa wewe ni " Special " ujue kuna " Mitumba "
Akikuambia " Baby " ujue anamiliki watu wazima zaidi yako.
T A KE C A R E:[emoji87][emoji87][emoji87]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #10
Muda pekee ambao unaweza kumzoea DINGI ni pale unapomfundisha kutumia SMARTPHONE....
Wanakuwaga wapole sana aisee unaweza hata kumuagiza maji ya kunywa akakuletea....
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Wanakuwaga wapole sana aisee unaweza hata kumuagiza maji ya kunywa akakuletea....
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #11
*Chizi kakaa ukingoni mwa bahari analia kwa masikitiko na huku kakamata kijiko cha chai. Mwezake akamuuliza mbona unalia mwenzangu. Chizi akajibu nimetia vijiko vitatu vya sukari baharini, kila nikionja bado ina chumvi. Mwenzake akacheka sanaaaaaa akamwambia. Hujakoroga!!!!*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #12
*Ukitaka kutetemeka mpk sehemu za siri panda trekta*
*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] *
*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] *
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #13
*UKIONA KIDADA KINAKUJALI ZAID YA CUSTOMER CARE WA TIGO, DAILY KINATUMA SMS ZA "UMEKULA" "UMEAMKA". KUMBUKA TUU CHRISMAS IPO NJIAN, SANUKA KAKA.*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #14
Demu ukimpa hela
Kwao hata
Hawaulizi kazitoa
wapi, mpe mimba
Sasa uone
Watatafuta mpaka
Hyo gesti
Mlikopeana hyo
Mimba
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Kwao hata
Hawaulizi kazitoa
wapi, mpe mimba
Sasa uone
Watatafuta mpaka
Hyo gesti
Mlikopeana hyo
Mimba
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #15
*Dem: "BABY TANGU TUFANYE MAPENZI MBONA UNIJALI KAMA ZAMANI??"*
*Jamaa akajibu: UMEWAHI KUONA RAIS ANAFANYA KAMPEN WAKATI AMESHINDA?!!*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
*Jamaa akajibu: UMEWAHI KUONA RAIS ANAFANYA KAMPEN WAKATI AMESHINDA?!!*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #16
Girl: Mambo baby
Boy: Poa baby, nambie
Girl: Naweza kukuomba kitu?
Boy: Chochote tu nambie baby
Girl: Unaweza kutengeneza beats kwa mdomo, kisha unitumie.
Boy: sorry baby, sijui hata kuimba wala kutengeneza beats, afu niko ofisini.
Girl: Kama ukiweza kufanya ivo, leo ntakuja nikupe vitu vyako vizuri vile [emoji39][emoji5][emoji8]....
Boy: [emoji15][emoji15]
Sekunde si nyingi girl akapokea hii...... [emoji116]
Boy: Poa baby, nambie
Girl: Naweza kukuomba kitu?
Boy: Chochote tu nambie baby
Girl: Unaweza kutengeneza beats kwa mdomo, kisha unitumie.
Boy: sorry baby, sijui hata kuimba wala kutengeneza beats, afu niko ofisini.
Girl: Kama ukiweza kufanya ivo, leo ntakuja nikupe vitu vyako vizuri vile [emoji39][emoji5][emoji8]....
Boy: [emoji15][emoji15]
Sekunde si nyingi girl akapokea hii...... [emoji116]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #17
WAKATI WEWE UNAAMKA ASUBUHI NA KUMTXT MPENZI WAKO "ZA ASUBUHI/KUNA MWANAUME MWINGINE ANAMTXT MUDA HUO HUO NA KUSEMA USIKU WA JANA ULIKUWA POAH SANA ASANTE KWA PENZI LAKO
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] BRO KAMA UNAMUOGOPA MUNGU BASI KUMBUKA NA KUMUOGOPA MWANAMKE[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] BRO KAMA UNAMUOGOPA MUNGU BASI KUMBUKA NA KUMUOGOPA MWANAMKE[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #18
*Kuoa au kuolewa ni sawa na kuchagua parachichi gengeni, unabonyeza tisa unanunua moja* ...[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
*( Robert Mugabe*)
*( Robert Mugabe*)
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #19
*```kuna watu wameanza kuvaa bukta kwa sababu ile nyimbo ya mwanaume suluari imeanza kusababisha kukosa mademu```*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shadrack K. Lwila
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 17, 2016
- 4,925
- 14,287
- Thread starter
- #20
Teacher:what is the past tense of "she is pregnant"
Student:she was fucked
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]watoto wa jubilee pia hawapendi ujinga!!!
Student:she was fucked
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]watoto wa jubilee pia hawapendi ujinga!!!