JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
...halafu ndio wanakuja na tabiri zao mmavi mmavi. Hii mamlaka ya utabiri wa hewa sijui wakoje, ajali imetokea ndo wanatoa tahadhari kuwa kutakuwa na upepo mkali pwani ya kusini. Walikuwa wapi...
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Mchungaji na Dereva Taksii walikufa,walipofika Mbinguni Mwenyeji wao akampa Dereva Taksi mahala pazuri pakuishi, Jumba kubwa maru maru tele, hewa safi,mito ya maziwa na asali na matunda ya kila...
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Polisi alimkuta jamaa flani akifanya mapenzi na dada alìyekua amekufa.polisi akamwuliza anafanya nini,jamaa akajibu, "tulikua na makubaliano miaka tatu iliyopita."polisi akauliza, "unamaanisha...
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A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin". "What?" said the...
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Wapendwa, mwandaaji wa Zunduna Show bibie Zinduna ameniachia jukumu la kuchagua atakayeendesha kipindi na atakayekuwa mgeni so nafikiria haya: Mwendeshaji awe Bishanga na mgeni awe The secretary...
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Wife:wht z 10yrs with me? Husband:a second wife:what is $1000 4 me? Husband:a coin wife:ok,giv me a coin husband:wait a second...
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Kijana 1 alkua anafagia ndan ya ndege,akaokota kitabu chenye maelezo ndan, ukurasa1:ukitaka kuwasha ndege bonyeza kitufe chekundu,akabonyeza ikawaka ukurasa2:uktaka ndg itembee,bonyeza kitufe cha...
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kuna jamaa watatu walikwenda polini kuwinda gafra akatokea simba kila mmoja alipita njia yake mmoja kati yao akapanda mtini baada ya muda simba nae akaja palepale chini ya mti na kuweka pozi...
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Kuna jamaa mmoja baada ya kuzidiwa na haja kubwa aliamua kuingia kwenye shamba la mahindi la bwana mmoja.Alipofika katikati ya shamba,akaangalia pande zote nane kuu za dunia hakuona mtu yeyote...
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Mimi najisomesomea nyaraka za siri za Serikali ili niandike makala gazetini. Mwenzangu je?
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wanaume wengi wanasikika wakilalamikia tabia ya kusachiwa na wake zao,je wadau mnafikiri ni nini hasa sababu ya mwanamke kumsachi mumewe? AMEN.......
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Sista alikaa uchi padre akamuuliza hiyo ni nini ?sista akajibu ni kaburi.Padre nae akajikalisha uchi Sista akauliza hiyo ni nini?Padre akajibu ni maiti .sista akasema kama huna pa kumzika...
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Mwanasheria alikua na mbwa wake.Siku moja mbwa aliingia Buchani akaiba nyama na kukimbia. Muuza nyama akamfuata Mwanasheria. "Mbwa wako akiingia buchani kwangu nakuiba nyama, Je napaswa kukudai...
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{MWANASIASA}:Kama mtanichagua,nitawajengea daraja. {MWANAKIJIJI}:Mheshimiwa utatujengeaje daraja wakati hapa kijijini hatuna mto?. {MWANASIASA}:Okay msijali ndugu zangu,basi nitawachimbia mto...
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Jamaa mmoja alienda kumkopa rafiki yake na mazungumzo yalikuwa kama ifuatavyo MKOPAJI: Oya mwana naomba unikopeshe elfu kumi (10,000) MKOPWAJI: Dah! Sina mwana, nina elfu tano (5,000) tu...
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Your own very daughter happens to find out your jf ID name,get herself registered,say as Lizzy and then starts to trade ballistic malavidavi missiles with you,jamani hivi ukigundua itakuwaje...
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Leo nimekaa nikifikiria sana kuhusu suali hili: How natural am I? What is fake, what is not? Wanaume na wanawake wengi tunachukia fake Fake hair, nails, fake eyelashes, fake skin tone Lakini...
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Daa aunt yangu kawa kama ngedere kwa sababu ya haya ma caro light mwanzon alikuwa na weusi wake mzuri roho yangu imeniuma hadi Prof Anna Tiba nae eti ameshaingia kwenye haya ma caro light.
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kwanini wanawake mnakuwa na roho mbaya kiasi hiki? Leo nataka mfunguke kwanini mnashindwa kuoneshana upendo kati yenu. Utakuta mama mjamzito au mama mwenye mtoto anasimama kwenye gari wakati...
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Habari zenu wana MMU na JF kwa ujumla. Leo nimeamua kutoa dukuduku langu ni kuhusu huyu mwanadada Preta. Kila nikitaka kumPM naanza vizuri lakini nikifika katikati najikuta nimeifuta msg na...
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