God: Hello... Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy...
Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service: Mouse? And how it is related to printer?!!!
Caller: Mmmm.. Wait, I...
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl...
A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him,so he hired a Chinese detective ,....The cheapest he could get.
This is his report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He...
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, Can I help you Sir?
Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr, the...
..... ......... .........
Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour...
A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing.
All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?'"...
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring...
A PhD graduate and an ordinary man went on a camping trip,set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the ordinary man woke up his PhD friend: "Look up at the sky and tell me what you...
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q. What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A. One was the first...