JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
bwana mmoja kila siku alikuwa akirudi nyumbani amelewa pombe(beer).mtoto mdogo humuuliza mama yake baba annuka nini mdomoni.Kwa kutunza heshima ya mumewe humjibu amejipakaa perfume.Siku moja mama...
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Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications...
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The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private...
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How far can you trust a friend? Peter left to go help in the Crusades and decided that his wife should wear a chastity belt. (Steel underwear)! So he locks her up and gives the key to his...
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A definition of globalization which I can understand and can now relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How...
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Jamaa mpenda wake za watu. siku moja alikuwa akila uroda na mke wa jirani mtaa wa pili usiku wakati mumewe hayupo. Ghafla, mume karudi na kuanza kupigahodi mlango wa mbele. mke kusikia mumewe...
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A psychologist who wanted to determine the sex of young kids, displayed a poster of advertising underwear and exposed it to them. Then waited to see the kids reaction!! PSSSSS!! WAIT, SEE THE...
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Robert Mugabe goes on a state visit to Israel . While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and passes away. The undertaker tells the accompanying people, 'You can have him...
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Hypocrisy is the greatest vice on earth. _____ Q: What is the similarity between men and rats? A: Both keep searching for new holes. Q: What is the closest thing...
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Mzee Titus Mbawala alikuwa anafundisha mambo ya ndoa kwa wachumba waliokuwa wanajiandaa kufunda ndoa kwenye kigango kimoja cha Parokia ya Tabata. Alifundisha mambo mengi na hasa yahusuyo mambo...
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Dear Employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early...
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'A man from the lake district returns a book to the library, bangs it on table & says: "What a waste?! I read the whole book, too many characters, no story at all" Librarian: "So, you...
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Oooh! My God, naona JK anapata kinywaji kwenye kiti kirefu na sisi tuko juu ya mwamba mkuuuubwa tunapata joto ya JIWE...., hata simba akimaliza mfupa wake wa EPA anaweza akatula na sisi pia labda...
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The House Girl (aka HG or Mecury) demanded a salary increment as a result og government notification to the Houseloard in the country. The Madam of the house was very upset about this demand and...
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Hii imetilewa katika tangazo la serikali,Govt Notice Baada ya walimu kucharazwa bakora, sasa ratiba ni kama ifuatavyo: March-April ---Madaktari April---May ---Wahandisi,wachumi June...
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Hivi wadau kuna ukweli kwamba Wakina Ngosha hata kama awe Mheshimiwa sana kama Mzee wa vijisenti, akisha kamata kinywaji kikamkolea kiasi chake, lazima aombe kuimba mistari kadhaa; na la...
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Caller: Hi, our printer is not working. Customer Service: What is wrong with it? Caller: Mouse is jammed. Customer Service: Mouse? And how it is related to printer? Caller: Mmmm...
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If you dont believe see the attachment
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Truly ndio ishafika mida ya kuondoka ofisini, then bosi anakuletea kazi mbichi uianze. Unataka kumjibu, unaona kakunja uso hataki maelezo! Utafanya nini? Embu cheki jibu kwenye hiyo attachment!!
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Hili joka ingekuwa sio la kibisa sijui wazazi hapo wangefanyeje babake
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