Thanks NN for being very sincere on this one.
1.Marriage is a private matter depending on who is involved.JK has all the rights to marry up to 4 wives as a muslim and its up to the women involved to make that decision - "to be part of the group".As a public figure, JK cannot parade them especially when appearing in state functions including travelling abroad on official matters for the obvious reason that only one first lady is recognised.
2.From a human rights perspective may be the pertinent question to ask is
" whose human rights is being violated?"- JK's, the wives or bystanders like us? Women entering into polygamous or even potentially polygamous marriages have themselves to blame.
3.By the way there are very few "true" monogamous marriages these days if we are to be sincere to ourselves.That is why there are nyumba ndogos everywhere regardless of religious affiliations.So even where a woman enters intoa strictl monogamous marriage - it is a gamble coz u will never know what is in store for u.
Are you sure about this? It sounds very shortsighted especially when oftentimes much elder men marry very young girls (mnakumbuka Alhaj Mwinyi na mtoto wake Kitwana Kondo? Binti bado alikuwa anasoma kule Zanaki walipofanya ndoa ya siri!) So blame it on the girl! Right!!Women entering into polygamous or even potentially polygamous marriages have themselves to blame.
Dah mzee sina muda wa kutosha.
but anyway.utafiti unaonyesha idadi ya wanawake imezidi sana idadi ya wanaume,hata tz ni hivyo.WANAWAKE AMBAO HAWATOLEWA WATATIMIZA VIPI MATAMANIO YAO YA KIMAUMBILE. NDIO MAANA HAWALAZIMISHWI ILA WENYEWE WANAONA KUNA HAJA YA HILO. what du u thınk.....
Picha ya Nini?...then what...nyie ndio mlio na sexual sedism...Wewe inakuhusu nini kuwa na Picha ya Mke wake...kwani anataka kurithi URAIS?...Naomba mwenye picha ya mke wa pili wa jk wakiwa pamoja au peke yake aiweke hapa jamvini. maana nilitarajia walao kumuona wakati wa sherehe ya ku-graduate kwa salama kikwete pale muchs lakini hakutokea. Sasa nashindwa kuamini kama huyo mke wa pili yuko kweli au ni ndo udaku mwingine ndani ya jf.
Picha ya Nini?...then what...nyie ndio mlio na sexual sedism...Wewe inakuhusu nini kuwa na Picha ya Mke wake...kwani anataka kurithi URAIS?...
kaka acha fikra potofu...Ndoa iwe ya siri nawe ukajua...? ktk Uislam ndoa yahitajika mashahidi 2...kama hakuna mashahidi hao ndoa haijatimia...hapo tena kuna usiri...? au wataka iwe public na Mapicha yapigwe!!!Mmh mamaa! I wouldn't expect a woman to do such a thing: blame everything on the woman! Sigh!
Are you sure about this? It sounds very shortsighted especially when oftentimes much elder men marry very young girls (mnakumbuka Alhaj Mwinyi na mtoto wake Kitwana Kondo? Binti bado alikuwa anasoma kule Zanaki walipofanya ndoa ya siri!) So blame it on the girl! Right!!
Picha ya Nini?...then what...nyie ndio mlio na sexual sedism...Wewe inakuhusu nini kuwa na Picha ya Mke wake...kwani anataka kurithi URAIS?...
kaka acha fikra potofu...Ndoa iwe ya siri nawe ukajua...? ktk Uislam ndoa yahitajika mashahidi 2...kama hakuna mashahidi hao ndoa haijatimia...hapo tena kuna usiri...? au wataka iwe public na Mapicha yapigwe!!!
OK.Pia nani kakwambia Mwinyi alikuwa na wake 3?...au ndio nyie mlikuwa vinara wa kumchafua Mzee Mwinyi...Mbona mlishindwa kumtaja mwanafunzi huyo...?Anzisha thread juu ya hili...utoe hoja zako!!!
Chuma,
Usisumbuliwe na watu wa Udaku hao.
Future-Tanzania...pls mie ni mtu Mme...(Mr)...kama umelowea tanzania..Jina la Chuma maarufu..hasa ni Jina la kiume...Kama utakuta mtu mke akaitwa Chuma bahati Mbaya...Here we go again, Mr/Mrs Chuma, wazungu wamekukosea nini kwenye hii topic! This is typical example wa Africans, we keep on blaming other people/westerners for our own faults, why we dont want to face the music on our on way, everything blaming westerners! Is this due to lack of education? Or its just ignorance? Why do you have treat other people as shit and once they question ohh wazungu wanawafundisha! Shame on you Chuma.
As I said earlier, you like it or not, Woman in Tanzania wanafikia kipindi cha Revolution, they move forward to know they are rights as citizens, mothers, and wife, as well as what they contribute to their families and country. Hence mate you need to start open your mind up and think outside the box. Ni kama wakati wa mkoloni when locally people walipoanza kujua their rights walikuwa wanaresist but people kept pressing up, this is what you are going through, and this is what make me wonder whether people like you are womanizers!
By the way, ata jamii yetu ya Tanzania wanalawiti, kuna mashoga and so on, immoral behaviors are universal and it doesnt work on race! Raping is happen in every race and socities, the difference is some countries like Tanzania, there are some socities where they see rape to women is fine simply because it work on selfishness of a man!! and you call that culture?
Habari ya Mwinyi kuoa Bint ya Kitwana Kondo si kweli ni uzushi tu na ndio maana mdai hapo juu ataendelea "kuficha" jina maana halipo!
Habari hiyo inafanana na ile ya Mwinyi kuuza Tausi wa Ikulu, Sitti Mwinyi kuwa mmiliki wa Raha Tower et al, zote ni UZUSHI
Interested Observer,
Mkuu sina mashaka kabisa kwamba unapopinga matumizi ya kitu chochote ni lazima liwe na sheria fulani unayoitumia, iwe sheria ya dini au iliyofuatana na mazingira fulani in the case of Polygamy nadhani ni haki kusema kwamba tafsiri yako imetokana na uzungu na ndio maana unatumia maneno kama Primitive na civilisation..Sasa nikifuta hivyo itakuwa vigumu kukuelewa kwani mifano yako mingi inatokana na mtazamo wa wazungu au Kikristu..Sina maana they are wrong isipokuwa ni ktk kujenga hoja lazima kuwepo na sheria inayotufunga sote kulingana na mitazamo yetu tofauti..
Mkuu, labda hatuelewani hapa..binafsi sitetei Polygamy kwa sababu nafikiria kuwa ni ni haki ya mwanamme au commandment fulani ktk maisha ya binadamu isipokuwa natetea kwa sababu ni swala la choice ambayo kila mmoja wetu anaweza kuwa na mtazamo tofauti...
Siwezi kuoa wake wawili kwa sababu nje kabisa ya ukweli unajaribu kusema hapa kwani wapo watu wengi hawafungi ndoa kabisa kwa sababu zao wenyewe nje ya kutazama ndoa ya mke mmoja kuwa ni Civilisation ama Primitive..Na utaratibu huu ulikuwepo toka Adam yaani watu walichagua kuoa mke mmoja, wawili au watatu maadam wake wenyewe wameridhia hivyo sio jambo jipya hata kidogo.
Mkuu swala la ndoa halihusiani kabisa na civilisation kwa sababu mara nyingi Civilisation hulenga maendeleo ya jamii ktk swala fulani na asilimia kubwa ya matukio ya civilisation yametokana na Sayansi na technologia na bado kuna mazingira ambayo bado hayawezi kubeba ustaarabu mpya... Naweza tu kukubali kama utasema Polygamy imepitwa na wakati kutokana na mazingira tunayoishi..yet bado huwezi kusema ni primitive... Kwa mfano tulitoka ktk utumiaji Ngamia kama chombo cha Usafiri, tukatumia magari, gari moshi ndege na kadhgalika haya ni mageuzi ambayo yanakubalika na sote lakini huwezi kumwambia kitu mwarabu ya jangwani Saudia na yemen kuwa utumiaji ngamia ni kuwa uncivilised, Huko jangwani hakuna gari linaloweza kusafiri hata kama limetengenezwa vipi..
Hata hivyo nadhani ni bora zaidi nikirudi ktk mada hii kuelezea yale niliyo promise pamoja nna kwamba naweza jaza kurasa mia kwa maelezo..
Mkuu saikologia ni kipaji ambacho namshukuru Mungu kanipa na nimeweza kuona mengi, kusoma na kusikia mengi..Ktk dunia hii tunayoishi hakuna kitu kisichokuwa na sura mbili na zote zinaweza beba mazuri na mabaya lakini mara nyingi tunapokea yale ambayo hujenga na kuimarisha jamii zetu..
Nikitazama swala la kuoa mke mmoja ambalo hata mimi nimo, siwezi kutoa sifa zaidi ya experience yangu mwenyewe, lakini napotazama mabaya yake naona kwamba leo hii kutokana na mfumo huu tumekuwa na broken families kuliko wakati wowote ule..
Ni kweli badala ya mwanaume kuwa na wake wengi kwa mara moja tunaona 1.ziku hizi wanawake wakipitia ndoa zaidi ya moja wakizaa watoto kibao kila mmoja na baba yake..Kwa hiyo wale wanawake wanaodai kuwa wanataka nao uhuru wa kuwa na waume wengi (ngono) nadhani wanaupata sasa hivi lakini does it help them! au kujenga familia zao.. Ukweli ni kwamba hapana!.. wanawake kwa hesabu kubwa sana leo hii ni single mothers kuliko wakati wowote ule na bahati mbaya hawana uwezo wa kufanya mambo mawili kwa wakati mmoja yaani Ku provide na kulea watoto, hata kama wamepewa nafasi kubwa ktk kujiendeleza lakini bado nguvu ya mwanaume kuwa responsible to provide, protect and head of the family inahitajika ili kuwapa watoto malezi mazuri..
Sasa pamoja na yote haya tumeona kuwa leo hii nchi hizo unazofikiria kuwa wako civilised wanaongoza duniani kwa 1. Single mothers, 2. Wanawake wanaohitaji social assistance (childcare), 3. Watoto wengi wametupwa foster homes, 4.Adoption, 5. Kufunguliwa kwa NGOs nyingi kama World vision zinazolea watoto..na kadhalika..
Nyuma ya yote haya utakuta kwamba kukosekana kwa mwanaume yaani baba ndio chimbuko lake, tofauti na ukitazama nchi ambazo swala la ndoa limetazama zaidi nje ya ngono na badala yake kujenga familia, na asilimia 80 ya ndoa zinazovunjika nchi hizi zinatokana na ngono..na Ukweli utasimama kwamba wanaume wengi hawapendi kuoa mwanamke ambaye tayari kisha kuwa na watoto wanaona ni mzigo.. wanaepuka responsibility ambayo ndio malengo ya ndoa na sio sex!.. Sisi wote tumekuwa tukifanya matusi tulipokuwa vijana na single kuliko wakati wowote ule na kama kweli ndoa ingekuwa inahusiana na sex basi nadhani kila mmoja wetu angebakia single maanake huko hatufungiwi na sheria ya aina yoyote!..
Je, kuna abuse ktk ndoa za wake wengi?.. Yes zipo na zipo sio kwa sababu ya wake wawili au watatu isipokuwa inatokana na tabia ya mwanaume mwenyewe kwani abuse wanazopata wanawake zinatokana na akili mbovu ya wanaume iwe mke mmoja, wawili au watatu... Mwanamme mshenzi ni mshenzi tu..
Je, ukewenza ni adha kubwa kwa wanawake?.. Yes lakini kama hutaki hakuna mtu anayekulazimisha na ustaarabu wa mapenzi ni kwamba mwanaume huomba na mwanamke ndiye mwenye maamuzi ya mwisho!..It's her Choice!
Kwa wasomaji wengine,
Hakuna sehemu yoyote ktk Biblia ama Kuran au kitabu chochote kile kinachosema (as commandment) kuwa ndoa ni ya mke mmoja. Yesu na Muhammad wote walipendekeza (maoni) kuoa mke mmoja na kama ingekuwa ni Amri hata Yesu mwenyewe angetakiwa kutuonyesha mfano kama alivyofanya ktk maswla mengineyo..
Mwisho, kwa wale wanaofikira kuwa Uislaam unawanyima haki wanawake na kuwatumia wao kama tool..kusema kweli watu hawa wamekosa busara ya kutazama undani wa jambo hili kwani ktk swala la ndoa siku zote mwanaume ndiye TOOL, Kama vile gari limetengenezwa kubeba abiria, lakini haiwezekani abiria kubeba gari..(kwa wale mnaofikiria otherwise).. Hii ni logic tu kwani mwanaume ndiye kizazi cha falimia zote..Familia nyingi zenye baba tofauti huwa hazina mapenzi wala mshikamano kwa ndugu kuliko zile zinazobeba jina moja..Ukweli huu hauna cilivisation hata kama Wayahudi wamemtumia Mama ktk kuongeza hesabu yaTaifa (Wayahudi) zima badala ya familia...
Haya Bana, mi najua tofauti lakini tuache ya Mwinyi turudi katika mada yetu. Maana naona mnataka ku-digress from the real issue.
Haya Bana, mi najua tofauti lakini tuache ya Mwinyi turudi katika mada yetu. Maana naona mnataka ku-digress from the real issue.
Hapana mkuu si nia yangu kubadili mwelekeo wa mada bali nilitaka kutoa ufafanuzi kwenye hiyo issue tu.
Mjadala uendelee...
Nimekwambia anzisha thread..unabwabwaja nini eti ohh Jina Tumelihifadhi....najua wewe "Tapeli wa Habari" maana kuweka uongo uonekane kweli...
kama Unataka Real Issue ok, ila usichanganye na Maji Machafu uloyokunywa ya kuwazushia watu uwongo!!!
Mkuu,
kwa heshima zote napenda kuanza kwa kusema kuwa nakubaliana na hoja zako za msingi katika kuunga mkono ukewenza na faida zake kama ulivyozitaja hapa na pia katika posts za nyuma.
Ila nitapingana nawe katika vipengele vifuatavyo kwani naona kuna assumptions ulizofanya na huenda zinaweza zisiwe sahihi kwa mtizamo wangu:
1.Ndoa siyo suluhisho la matatizo ya uzazi na malezi wala kuzaa na baba tofauti sio kwa sababu ya kutaka uhuru wa kingono. Wanawake kuzaa watoto na baba tofauti inaweza kutokea siyo kwa sababu ya kutaka uhuru wa ngono kama ulivyodai katika post yako.Tatizo hili haliwezi kusuluhishwa kwa ukewenza au kung'angania kubaki kwenye ndoa zilizojaa ukatili.
2.Mwanaume kuwa provider siyo kweli mara zote. Singlemotherhood ni uamuzi wa mtu maana siku hizi maisha yamebadilika sana.Wapo wanawake wanapenda kuwa na watoto ila hawapendi kujifunga kwa mwanaume kwa maana ya kuolewa.Na sidhani kwamba kila single mother anashindwa kulea wanae.Katika hali ya kawaida matarajio ni kuwa wanaume ndio watoe matunzo kwa familia na mahitaji muhimu .Ila ukiacha hiyo nadharia, ukweli ni kuwa zipo familia nyingi tena nyingi sana ambapo baba nae ni mzigo tu maana zaidi ya "kumzalisha mkewe" hajishughulishi na chochote kile - hajui kula yao, kuvaa, kusomesha na kadhalika.Stadi mbalimbali zimefanyika na kuonesha kuwa wakati wa majanga kama njaa basi hao akina baba huzitoraka familia zao na kuhemea kwingine huku akina mama wakiachiwa mzigo wa kulea familia.Hata humu JF si ajabu kuna watu ( wanawake au wanaume wanaoelewa ninachokizungumza kuhusu mzigo wanaoubeba wanawake katika familia zao)
kaka/Dada Tusaidie Kipi kinaweza Suluhisho ya "Hayo" matatizo...kama sio ndoa?...U-miss contest?(Ujiongezee kipato?
Naona wachanganya mambo ktk Ubongo wako...failures zipo kila kona...Leo hii wanafunzi wanaofeli mashuleni...hatuwezi singizia mitihan HAIFAI...kisa wanafunzi wanafeli au any other failures...Uzembe wa baadhi ya wazazi ktk Malezi sio sababu eti Ndoa haifai...Ndoa zina etiquette zake...