Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

stickvibration said:

*NJIA 4 ZA KUFIKISHA TAARIFA\UJUMBE HARAKA*

1. *TV*
2. *RADIO*
3. *SIMU*
4. *MWANAMKE*


_Hiyo namba 4 ukitaka ifike haraka mwambi nimekwambia ww usimwambie mtu mwingne_
[emoji3][emoji3]

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1.Television
2.Telephone
3.Telegram
4.Tellawoman

stickvibration said:

*NJIA 4 ZA KUFIKISHA TAARIFA\UJUMBE HARAKA*

1. *TV*
2. *RADIO*
3. *SIMU*
4. *MWANAMKE*


_Hiyo namba 4 ukitaka ifike haraka mwambi nimekwambia ww usimwambie mtu mwingne_
[emoji3][emoji3]

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Hahahaha 4 hide my ....

Numbisa said:

Missing Person
Name: Mo Salah
Last Seen: Entering Old Trafford.
Reward: £35m for any information leading to his safe return to Liverpool

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Hahahahaha noumah

*_Kumsaliti mkeo haimaanishi humpendi! Hii ni kama kukodi taksi na wakati una gari yako nyumbani. Hii inakusaidia kuokoa mataili yasiharibike haraka na hata gari lionekane halijatembea umbali mrefu_*

"Dogo mmoja wa Darasa la kwanza alipanda Daladala huku akiimba kwa sauti kubwa vitu alivyofundishwa school "Baba akiwa jogoo, mama akiwa kuku mi ntakua kifaranga..Baba akiwa beberu mama akiwa mbuzi, mimi ntakua ndaama dogo aliimba kwa muda mrefu mpaka kondakta akakasirika akamwambia; "Ah Weee! Hebu Nyamaza Baba Angekua Mseng* na Mama Malaya Weee Ungekua Nani!?
Dogo Akajibu "Ningekuwa kondakta"

[HASHTAG]#Hahahahahaaaaaa[/HASHTAG]
Naskia dogo kazikwa saiz

Nyani mmoja alichoka kuishi akaamua kufa, aliwaza mbinu za kujiua kujinyonga hana kamba kujichinja hana kisu na sumu hana. Akawa anazunguka kwa huzuni kubwa basi akamuona simba kalala akaamua amchokoze simba ili aliwe kwa hasira akamuingizia dole la nguvu matakoni simba akashtuka na kutabasam nyani akazimia kwa woga alipozinduka simba akamwambia rudia tena

stickvibration said:

Waziri anaposema oa mwenye cheti cha form four anamaana yake[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Mume akamwambia mke wake:
"Funga macho yako tufanye maombi"
Akaanza kwa Kimombo:-
*"… Lord I pray for Grace, I pray for Mercy, I pray for Joy, I pray for Love, I pray for Hope, I pray for Glory, I pray for Faith, I pray for.."*

Mke akadakia, "Unadhani mimi sina ee" akaanza:-
*I pray for Felix, I pray for Temu, I pray for Rweyemamu, I pray for Masawe, I pray for Benson, I pray for Onyango, I pray for Swai, I pray kwa wote niliowasahau!!*

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Kuishi uswahilini raha sana[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] yaani usiku hatuna ulinzi wa mbwa, huku ni sufuria, sahani za bati, vijiko, vikombe vya bati, ndoo za bati, mabakuli, mikasi, chujio na kadhalika[emoji13] [emoji13] Basi ikifika usiku wa manane kisha hivyo vyombo vianguke, [emoji38] [emoji38] mlio wake ni kama beat ya nyimbo za Reaggae vile zinavyoanza[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

Kipanga boy said:

Nyani mmoja alichoka kuishi akaamua kufa, aliwaza mbinu za kujiua kujinyonga hana kamba kujichinja hana kisu na sumu hana. Akawa anazunguka kwa huzuni kubwa basi akamuona simba kalala akaamua amchokoze simba ili aliwe kwa hasira akamuingizia dole la nguvu matakoni simba akashtuka na kutabasam nyani akazimia kwa woga alipozinduka simba akamwambia rudia tena

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Oyaa, dole haliingizwi matakoni, ndio maana simba akamwambia rudia

Nelson nely said:

Unamkung'uta mtoto konzi la maana....anaanza kulia kwa sauti....unamnunulia biskuti unampa....halaf unamuuliza nani amekupiga?....anataja mtu mwingine tofauti kabisa...!
*hapo ndo rushwa ilianzia Afrika!!

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Haa haa haaa nimejichekesha tuu hata sijui kilichonichekesha

mchajikobe said:

Haa haa haaa nimejichekesha tuu hata sijui kilichonichekesha

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Basi utakuwa chizi mkuu

Kukutana kwa Uhuru na Odinga katika kusuruhisha tofauti zao kunanikumbusha enzi za raisi wa zamani wa urusi mhe. Presvilodiskyovach Petrovzilizevisky.........Najua hilo jina hujalisoma,umeruka,na mimi siendelei kusimulia maana sipendelei wavivu [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

Kukutana kwa Uhuru na Odinga katika kusuruhisha tofauti zao kunanikumbusha enzi za raisi wa zamani wa urusi mhe. Presvilodiskyovach Petrovzilizevisky.........Najua hilo jina hujalisoma,umeruka,na mimi siendelei kusimulia maana sipendelei wavivu [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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Hahaha kama umeniona vile

*CAMERAMAN WA ENZI HIZO....* [emoji57][emoji57]

Makamera man walikuwa majeuri
kishenzi yaani! Kwanza unakuta hii
Kamera ina likamba fulani jeusi
inaning'inizwa shingoni.....
Kameraman ana kabaskeli kake hapa...
nyuma kana begi lina picha za watu ambao hawajamaliza madeni.
Kamera man anakupiga picha leo
anakwambia picha yako utaipata panapo
majaaliwa mkanda ukijaa... unaweza
kusubiri miezi miwili...
Enzi hizo kamera man ndiye anayekupangia pozi gani ukae ili upigwe....
Kamera man anampanga hadi baba yako
mzazi kwenye picha hahahahah! Baba
anakuwa mpoleeee! Kamera man anapita na kabaskeli kake
watu wanamuita anaringa huyoooo!....
ukute msimu wa sikukuu mnaweka oda
kwa kameraman wiki mbili kabla....... akija
anaanza kwanza kula pilau na soda yake
ipo amehifadhiwa.... baada ya hapo ndo anapiga picha......
Enzi hizo picha inatoka umefumba
macho, na unailipia... sio siku hizi mtu
anapiga picha mia anachagua moja ndo
anaipost mtandaoni......
*Enzi hizo sisi watoto* *tukililia picha tunapigwa* *flash kilio kinaisha*
*hapohapo.......* [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Mkuu wa Kibiti said:

Mwenyewe kesho nina mpango wa kulazwa so mtaanzia kwangu

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Haihitaji sana kuwa mkali kauzu kwa wife
Jamaa yangu alikuwa mbandidu sana kwa mkewe ikafika mahala anaogopwa siku moja kenda hospital wakamwambia apeleke choo kidogo basi kajihimu lukwili ili apeleke akawa amekiweka kichupa juu ya kabati ili amalizie mambo mengine kabla ya kutoka. Sasa wife wake katika kufanya usafi bahati mbaya kakigonga kile kichupa na kilikuwa hakijafungwa kojo lote likamwaika. Akifikiria mtiti wa mumewe akaona patakuwa padogo akajiongeza na kwenda msalani akaweka wake na kurudisha pale pale. Jamaa wanampa majibu ana mimba ya miezi mitatu na UTI. Hivi ananielezea kuwa karogwa na anakwenda sumbawanga nilichomjibu awe na tahadhali anaweza kujifungulia njiani na mtoto akatoka njiti.

alibakari said:

Kukutana kwa Uhuru na Odinga katika kusuruhisha tofauti zao kunanikumbusha enzi za raisi wa zamani wa urusi mhe. Presvilodiskyovach Petrovzilizevisky.........Najua hilo jina hujalisoma,umeruka,na mimi siendelei kusimulia maana sipendelei wavivu [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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Hahaa...chizi kweli kweli ww!

Majivuno Wakati Mwingine Hayafai, Jamaa Mmoja Alipanda Daladala Mara Simu Ikaita,, Jamaa Akaitoa Mfukoni Kuangalia Ni Mke Wake Anapiga!! Jamaa Kwa Kutaka Kujionyesha Akaweka Loud Speaker Jamaa Akamuuliza Mke Wake."Saivi Tu Umenimiss Mke Wangu Au Tatizo Nini Niambie Basi Babby" Mke Wake Akamjibu "Sijakumiss Wala Nini Nataka Kujua Kwanini Umevaa Chupi Ya Mtoto" Abiria Walicheka Hadi Wakalaliana!!! ....www.wasasa.