Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Girls who drinks Guinness.. can kill a chicken with a slap..
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I don't like people who can't let go of the past especially people I am owing money[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Me : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mum : Well, you have done the right thing.
Me : But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

If my bae is cheating on me and you decide to tell me about it you owe me a new bae ....siezi kua single sababu ya kiherehere chako[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

This morning, one cute girl was just staring at me, I was blushing ..... Until she came closer and said "Come,,,,, u look like one groundnut seller that ran away with my change"..........

I fainted[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Numbisa said:

*Some girls will be Snoring like dragon while sleeping but when they wakeup they will rush to social media and post:* *"Wow! can't believe i slept like a baby"*
*Indeed, Baby Dragon*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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Unaniua mbavu zangu 😛 😛

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Eti nipige mume wangu mbavu zangu mie!

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INASEMEKANA


*Babu zetu kipindi wanataka kuoa walikua wanaangalia Tabia wanachunguza miaka hata miwili*


*Baba zetu wakabadilika wakawa wanaangalia Sura mwanamke mzur ndo wanaoa*



*Sasa ichi kizazi cha ibilisi kimekuja na mpya hakiangalii sura wala tabia wakitaka kuoa wanaangalia MATAKO*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Wife: 'How would you describe me?'
Husband: 'ABCDEFGHIJK.'
Wife: 'What does that mean?'
Husband: 'Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.'
Wife: 'Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?'
Husband: 'I'm just kidding
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

A girl can make you feel special
Until you realise she talks like that to everybody[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

I found a guy today drinking his beer at 6:30 am.

I asked him: "Isn't it too early for you to be drinking ?"

He replied: "Ooh really, at what time do throats open ?"

‍♂I walked away...

Now minding my own business[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Nilikuwa toilet umeme umekatika ghafla nimeshtuka utafikiri zoezi hili naliendesha kwa kutumia umeme.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Numbisa said:

Nilikuwa toilet umeme umekatika ghafla nimeshtuka utafikiri zoezi hili naliendesha kwa kutumia umeme.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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Leo nilikuwa nakunywa uji nikaona nzi ndani ya kikombe changu cha uji akiwa amekufa,nikasema ngoja niendelee kunywa uji ukipoa nitamtoa,sasa nimemaliza uji wote halafu simuoni nzi tena,nahisi atakuwa amepaa

Mwalimu alishika fimbo katikati akamnyoosha dogo kisha akasema"fimbo hii inapoishia kuna mpumbavu"dogo akauliza "mwisho upi wa fimbo maana fimbo inasehemu mbili upande wangu na upande wako"
dogo yupo tunamchangia aende India kwa matibabu.

Duh

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You can't be single both offline and online ,my sister choose one struggle use those filters,grab someone else bae and be happy[emoji4][emoji4][emoji4]

Stupidity is when u feel headache and instead of buying Panadol,you use the money to buy airtime and log in to facebook and post "Am feeling headache"with 57 others just to get comments like "get well soon","sorry baby",,your foolishness is beyond repair[emoji38][emoji38][emoji12][emoji23][emoji23] I wish Judas sold people like you[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]