Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

oscarsolomon said:

CAN'T STOP LAUGHING
A woman was having sex in an
apartment 20 floors high with
another
man.She then heard her husband
coming… she told her lover to stay
like
a robot and not to move.
Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have
sex with when you are travelling…
Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I
got
my period, so I will go and make a
cup
of coffee for you…
After she left the husband said:
Damn I
am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he
tried f*cking. The man started
talking in
a metallic robotic way…
“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE…
SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”
Husband: Damn robot is not working
properly…I am throwing it out of the
window…The man realized that he
was
on the 20th floor and said…
“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY
FUCKING
AGAIN.....

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[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] software updated eeh? Nani anapenda kufwariki

Girls it's time to stop all these lies..

1-"I have taken you as my brother"
That stupid statement should end. Am not your
brother, I know my family members.
2-"I am not feeling Fine, please send me airtime"
When did Airtime become medicinal?
Please keep that behaviour behind.
3-"Did you cum inside me?"
That question should stop . You think it's easy to
jump out of a moving vehicle?
4-"He's just my bestie"
Are u supposed to have a male bestie?
5- Pending so many guys in your life without giving
them a definite answer. My sister are you recruiting
immigration officers?
6- Telling a man that you are a virgin or have done
it once only for the man to go there and see a bore
hole. That lie should stop.
7-Boy: where are u?
Girl: we are coming.
"We".. Did I invite your generation?
8- Everyday you are on your period.
Are you producing blood tonic??

Kuna baadhi ya mambo yamesha kua kama ni sheria mfano, chai na chapati mbili😀😀😀😀😀

Numbisa said:

*Mwizi kaiba bodaboda kakimbilia kituo cha polisi* *Raia wenye hasira kali wememuwekea dhamana* *"What do you expect"?* [emoji856][emoji856]

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Hahahahahahaha

[emoji23][emoji23]

[emoji87]

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

*mke* alimwambia mume wake,
_"mume wangu safari hii zawadi yangu ya X-mas nataka idumu mwaka mzima"_
*mume* jasho lilimtoka, akatafakari sana, mwisho akakumbuka zawadi nzuri.
[emoji1371] _akaenda kamnunulia kalenda ya 2019_
mpaka muda huu inasemekana wana wiki hawaongei[emoji23]

Jamaa yangu ananiambia shule sawa alikuwa hapati mia ila cha ajabu hata penye simu yake aki charge inaisha 75%

.

Guasa Amboni said:

Jamaa yangu ananiambia shule sawa alikuwa hapati mia ila cha ajabu hata penye simu yake aki charge inaisha 75%

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[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Mwanamke mwembamba ukimpiga Kofi la matakon, linatoa mlio kama wa sreenshoot [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

BH99 said:

Mwanamke mwembamba ukimpiga Kofi la matakon, linatoa mlio kama wa sreenshoot [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Khantwe said:

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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Watu wamevurugwa

Khantwe said:

Hehehe ndio maana mi natembeaga na mswaki wangu

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Huyu mtu kamaaanisha mswaki wakuswaki huko chini

KENYANS BE LIKE

Nani amepewa hii Pesa mpya Leo??nataka kutoa hio horn za ndovu niuze [emoji23][emoji23]

There are good women out there who cannot cheat or ask money from you but their stubbornness will frustrate your destiny [emoji23]

Lakini mbona ukiita mtu kondoo hukasirika? Tumekua tukiitwa kondoo kwa Bible na hata ukiwa mdogo hapo Sunday school ulikua unajiita kwa ile wimbo ya Ingia, ingia, ingia, ingia, ingia, ingia uwe mmoja wa Kondoo
wote humu ni kondoo kondoo za bwana[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji85][emoji87]

Dear success if I don't fall for your seduction, please rape me [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] please please i beg you