Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

alibakari said:
Wanawake bana
Utasikia wanasema nataka mwanaume ambaye atanilinda na kunijali, halafu akitongozwa na mlinzi anakataa [emoji121] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]
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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Freyzem said:
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Mwifwa said:
Baba kutoka mashambani alipata safari ya kwenda Mombasa kwa biashara. Baada ya wiki moja akampigia simu mtoto wake kujulia hali ya nyumbani.

Baba: Alooo! Vipi hali zenu huko?

Mtoto: Tuko poa Baba, kila kitu sawa isipokua kidogo tu kulitokea shida

Baba: Shida gani??

Mtoto: Waujua ule ufagio wenye gongo refu? Basi lile gongo lake lilivundika.

Baba: Aaaah umenishtua, sineno tutanunua mwengine. Lakini nnani alouvunja?

Mtoto: Ni ngombe wetu aliuangukia.

Baba: Ngombe??

Mtoto: Naam alikua anakimbia kwa khofu maana zizi lilikua limeshika moto..

Baba: Ah moto! Lakini ngombe yuko salama?

Mtoto: Hapana baba ng'ombe alikufa.

Baba: Lahaulaaaa..... na ilikuaje zizi likashika moto?!

Mtoto: Kwa hakika moto ulianza kwa nyumba yetu ukaenea mpaka ukafika zizini.

Baba: Nyumba yetu imeshika moto??

Mtoto: Ndio Baba wajua yote ni huyu ndugu yangu Juma mungu amrehemu

Baba: Mungu amrehemu?! Kwani mwanangu Juma amekufa?

Mtoto: Ndio Baba Juma amekufa. Wajua alikua avuta sigara chumbani kwake sigara ikaanguka kwenye godoro na yeye amelala. Moto nyumba nzima.

Baba: Wanambia Juma siku hizi avuta sigara! Alianza lini mambo hayo?

Mtoto: Alianza wiki hii tu kwa sababu ya stress na huzuni nyingi tangu mama afe.

Baba: Mtumeeeee, mamako pia amekufa??

Mtoto: Ndio Baba lakini usijitie stress sana baba kama ni ufagio wallahi tutapata tu mwengine.
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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] Huyo mtoto noma huyo
 
Mwifwa said:
MUNGU NI MKUBWA AISEE....YAANI PAMOJA NA KUWA KORODANI ZIPO CHINI ILA UKIKAA HUZIKALII


[emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28]
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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji115] duuu nahisi umetoroka milembee
 
alibakari said:
Leo bosi wangu kazini kanipa mtihani Eti kanga na kitenge kwa Kiingereza vinaitwaje, kwa mwenye kujua naomba anisaidie, msicheke. Its serious
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Hilo swali ni sawa nankukuuliza tanzania i aitwaje kwa kiingereza.
Jbu simple. Tanzania
 
Mwifwa said:
FURSA! FURSA! FURSA!

Je wewe ni Mwanaume.!?

Je Uko single .!?

Je huna hela..!?

Je Unahisi huna mvuto..!?

Je hupendezi Kwa mavazi yako..!?

Je uliachwa na mpenzi wako..!? Au hujawahi kabisa kuwa na mpenzi..!?

Je umekua mpweke..!?

Je wewe ni mweusi na Una chunusi tele usoni..!?

Je kuna mda unatembea Huku unaongea na kucheka peke yako..!?

Je mda wote Umevaa Earphones masikioni...!?

Je Unahisi jamii imekutenga kisa ufukara...!?

Je wadada wengi wanakuita mkaka, swaiba, rafiki yangu, shemela, akili mbili, baby ya uongo uongo...!?

Je Bado unaishi kwenu...!?

KAMA JIBU NI NDIO Pole Sana......

NI MATATIZO YAKO SISI HAYATUHUSU....

[emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]
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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] ,,, nyoko sana ww, mi nkajua uku chini tutapta solution wenye hayo matatizo…!!
 
proskaeur said:
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] ,,, nyoko sana ww, mi nkajua uku chini tutapta solution wenye hayo matatizo…!!
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stress zinapanda na kushuka
[emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3]
 
Kucheza mziki wa taratibu (BLUES) na mwanamke mnene ni sawa na kujilazimisha kusukuma KABATI taratibu[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] …!!!
 
STORY YA DEM WA ADMIN

ADMIN
Morning guyz

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN added George

GEORGE
typing...

LUCY
Morning bebz

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Thanx for add Admin

ADMIN
Welcome bro,za siku

GEORGE
typing..

LUCY
Bebz ninashida,nataka kwenda Moro bt sina nauli,i need only 10,000@Admin

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Nko poa bro,am driving. sorry, ntakuchek baadae.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nko vbaya now, ngoja nifight jioni ntakurushia@Lucy

LUCY
Niaje George.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Hope umenielewa bebz@Lucy

GEORGE
Poa sana Lucy, niambie

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Safe journey bro@ George

LUCY
Umesema your are driving to where?

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Moro @ Lucy.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Kwani huoni message zangu Lucy?

LUCY
Gosh! Umefika wapi @ George?

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
George si umesema unadrive tuchat baadae?

GEORGE
Nimefika Ubungo Mataa @ Lucy

LUCY
typing...

GEORGE
Nlikuwa nadrive bt now no ubungo mataa na kunafolen ile mbaya @ Admin

ADMIN
typing..

LUCY
Plz ukifika Kimara nshutue at mm naenda Moro na sina nauli.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nimepata, nakurushia@ Lucy.

GEORGE
Haina shida Lucy,in fact I was so loney.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN removed George.

LUCY left

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GISAMBO said:
*Kigugumizi noma kunajamaa alienda ukweni kufika akapewa muwa akasema si....si....siwezi! ****...****....kumaliza peke...peke...pekeyangu labda tuka...tuka...tiane na mama....mkwe! Sababu nina ****....****....ubovu wa meno. Mama mkwe akang'aka we mkwe unikome kabisa tabia gain *hiyo*?

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Freyzem said:
STORY YA DEM WA ADMIN

ADMIN
Morning guyz

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN added George

GEORGE
typing...

LUCY
Morning bebz

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Thanx for add Admin

ADMIN
Welcome bro,za siku

GEORGE
typing..

LUCY
Bebz ninashida,nataka kwenda Moro bt sina nauli,i need only 10,000@Admin

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Nko poa bro,am driving. sorry, ntakuchek baadae.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nko vbaya now, ngoja nifight jioni ntakurushia@Lucy

LUCY
Niaje George.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Hope umenielewa bebz@Lucy

GEORGE
Poa sana Lucy, niambie

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Safe journey bro@ George

LUCY
Umesema your are driving to where?

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Moro @ Lucy.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Kwani huoni message zangu Lucy?

LUCY
Gosh! Umefika wapi @ George?

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
George si umesema unadrive tuchat baadae?

GEORGE
Nimefika Ubungo Mataa @ Lucy

LUCY
typing...

GEORGE
Nlikuwa nadrive bt now no ubungo mataa na kunafolen ile mbaya @ Admin

ADMIN
typing..

LUCY
Plz ukifika Kimara nshutue at mm naenda Moro na sina nauli.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nimepata, nakurushia@ Lucy.

GEORGE
Haina shida Lucy,in fact I was so loney.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN removed George.

LUCY left

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Freyzem said:
STORY YA DEM WA ADMIN

ADMIN
Morning guyz

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN added George

GEORGE
typing...

LUCY
Morning bebz

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Thanx for add Admin

ADMIN
Welcome bro,za siku

GEORGE
typing..

LUCY
Bebz ninashida,nataka kwenda Moro bt sina nauli,i need only 10,000@Admin

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Nko poa bro,am driving. sorry, ntakuchek baadae.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nko vbaya now, ngoja nifight jioni ntakurushia@Lucy

LUCY
Niaje George.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Hope umenielewa bebz@Lucy

GEORGE
Poa sana Lucy, niambie

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Safe journey bro@ George

LUCY
Umesema your are driving to where?

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Moro @ Lucy.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Kwani huoni message zangu Lucy?

LUCY
Gosh! Umefika wapi @ George?

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
George si umesema unadrive tuchat baadae?

GEORGE
Nimefika Ubungo Mataa @ Lucy

LUCY
typing...

GEORGE
Nlikuwa nadrive bt now no ubungo mataa na kunafolen ile mbaya @ Admin

ADMIN
typing..

LUCY
Plz ukifika Kimara nshutue at mm naenda Moro na sina nauli.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nimepata, nakurushia@ Lucy.

GEORGE
Haina shida Lucy,in fact I was so loney.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN removed George.

LUCY left

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George kaonewa
Lucy hana adabu kwanini anatuma msg ya kuomba pesa kwa baby wake kupitia group kwan hajui DM/PM? Alafu anawezaje kuomba lift kwa rafiki wa mpenzi wake bila kupata kibali kutoka kwa mpenzi wake?
Alipangaje safari kabla ya kupata uhakika wa pesa au kumjulisha mpenzi wake before?

Ila nimecheka sana[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
*Pale unapokuwa umefulia sana...Mgeni anakutembelea Maskani kwako....Unaamua Kuchukua Ile Sh 600 iliyobaki na kwenda Dukani Kumnunulia Soda Unaondoka na Chupa Mbili Unanunua Fanta Moja kwaajil ya Mgeni na Ile Chupa ya Sprite Unaijaza Maji ili Ukirudi Uweze kumpa Kampani Mgeni......Unafika Seblen Unampa Ile soda ya Fanta Mgeni anakuambia Fanta huwa situmii Nipe hiyo sprite .....Bwana....Bwana. ...Bwana....Weee*

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Apo ndo utagundundua morinyo anajiskiaje
Kumnunua *POGBA*
 
natoka hapa said:
George kaonewa
Lucy hana adabu kwanini anatuma msg ya kuomba pesa kwa baby wake kupitia group kwan hajui DM/PM? Alafu anawezaje kuomba lift kwa rafiki wa mpenzi wake bila kupata kibali kutoka kwa mpenzi wake?
Alipangaje safari kabla ya kupata uhakika wa pesa au kumjulisha mpenzi wake before?

Ila nimecheka sana[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
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Lucy akili zake anazijua mwenyewe....
 
Boy: Honey, I bet you cant tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time
Girl: What???
Boy: I bet you cant tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.
Girl: You have the biggest penis................out of all your friends.
 
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