Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Freyzem · May 3, 2017

BREAKING NEWS
Nimefatilia taarifa ya press mpya MAKONDA juu ya UNGALIMITED arusha ni kwamba lema na jaji mkuu kifo cha yule dada aliyesema kabakwa hadi kufa ni kwmb diamond plutnum ndo msanii bora kwa sasa tz hayo aliyasema ozil wakati anafunga goli dhidi ya hardware za kusambaza mchanga kwenye uchaguzi wa kumtafuta miss wa korosho husaidia mtu aoge kwenye gari ambalo halina laptop zenye ukubwa wa chai ya maziwa yenye barabara za kwenda calculator maji makubwa ya Kilimanjaro ndio huleta matairi ya kifaru cha mwinuko wa bahari kwenye ukuta wa maji.

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
BANGI ZINAFUNGIWA LINI?

Good Father · May 3, 2017

NUKUU YA LEO

Kila mwenye pumzi auheshimu mtihani wa taifa (NECTA) na mitihani mingine, ukitaka kujua thamani ya mtihani tazama ile orodha pendwa ya watu 9,932

Usiniulize orodha ya nini[emoji3]

proskaeur · May 3, 2017

Tangopori said:
Boy: Honey, I bet you cant tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time
Girl: What???
Boy: I bet you cant tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.
Girl: You have the biggest penis................out of all your friends.

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] ,, daaaadeki nd utajua kwann modo haina marinda,,

proskaeur · May 3, 2017

Hivi ulishawai kumpnda mtu halafu yey anakuchenga hataki.watu wawaon mkiw pamoj?

huu ndio uhusiano wangu saiz na pesa[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

eddybr · May 3, 2017

thA bubs said:
From Trevor Noah,umekopi,wabongo kwa keteleza juu ya maganda ya ndizi,hamjambo

So what budy.
Wewe Lugha ubayoongea umetunga mwenyewe?

Foxhound · May 3, 2017

Nimeangalia tamthilia ya Kikorea inayohusu mapenzi kwa miezi 3 hakuna hata kipande kimoja demu alichoomba hela, cha kushangaza hizi tamthilia dada zetu wanazipenda sana, wanajifunza maudhui yake kweli?

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]mkinuna poa tu ndo nishasema.

kajojo · May 3, 2017

Mahindi gharama.....sukari gharama..... Condom bure.....

hivi serikali inafikiri sisi nguvu tunazitoa wap sasa Kwa mfano??

baraka jr 2016 · May 3, 2017

kajojo said:
maisha ya ndoa yanataka subira sana...... Unaweza kununua parachichi lako jioni ule na wali unakuta mtu kaliponda kapaka usoni

[emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2]

fredo fred · May 3, 2017

*By the time nanunua gari,wanawake watakuwa wanapenda NDEGE.. Haya maisha nyie..acheni tu☹☹?*

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Freyzem · May 3, 2017

*MITOMINGI*; nadhani sasa mgeni amekwisha kumaliza kula hebu nenda kaondoe vyombo

*MAMA_MAZOEA*; Basi fanya haraka (Mazoea anatoka, anaenda kwa Ngoswe alipo).

*MAZOEA*; Hodi! Hodi!

*NGOSWE*; Karibu

*MAZOEA*; (Akiingia). Ahsante. Nimekuja kuchukua vyombo.

*NGOSWE*; Vyombo! Kaa basi mbona unasimama kama vile hakuna viti.

*MAZOEA*; Nimeambiwa nifanye haraka.

*NGOSWE*; Mmm! Haya ngoja ninawe basi (Ngoswe ananawa kwa taratibu jicho likiwa usoni mwa Mazoea ambaye anatazama kando). Hivo mzima wee?

*MAZOEA*; Bee?

*NGOSWE*; Salama?

*MAZOEA*; Salama tu.

*NGOSWE*; Sasa ndio umekataa kukaa?

*MAZOEA*; (Ajidai hakusikia) Si umekwisha maliza?

*NGOSWE*; Bado kidogo.

*MAZOEA*; Basi nitakuja chukua baadaye. (Ataka kutoka)

*NGOSWE*; Basi nenda navyo. (Mazoea anarudi kuinama kuvichukua. (Ngoswe kwa sauti ndogo). Hivyo waitwa nani?

*MAZOEA*; Mie?

*NGOSWE*; Ndio wewe hapo kisura.

*MAZOEA*; (anatabasamu huku akiondoka). Mazoea!i

Story ni tamu ila tulishaambiwa ya Ngoswe tumuachie Ngoswe! ! !

[emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35] Kwendreni huko...

Mwifwa · May 3, 2017

Freyzem said:
*MITOMINGI*; nadhani sasa mgeni amekwisha kumaliza kula hebu nenda kaondoe vyombo

*MAMA_MAZOEA*; Basi fanya haraka (Mazoea anatoka, anaenda kwa Ngoswe alipo).

*MAZOEA*; Hodi! Hodi!

*NGOSWE*; Karibu

*MAZOEA*; (Akiingia). Ahsante. Nimekuja kuchukua vyombo.

*NGOSWE*; Vyombo! Kaa basi mbona unasimama kama vile hakuna viti.

*MAZOEA*; Nimeambiwa nifanye haraka.

*NGOSWE*; Mmm! Haya ngoja ninawe basi (Ngoswe ananawa kwa taratibu jicho likiwa usoni mwa Mazoea ambaye anatazama kando). Hivo mzima wee?

*MAZOEA*; Bee?

*NGOSWE*; Salama?

*MAZOEA*; Salama tu.

*NGOSWE*; Sasa ndio umekataa kukaa?

*MAZOEA*; (Ajidai hakusikia) Si umekwisha maliza?

*NGOSWE*; Bado kidogo.

*MAZOEA*; Basi nitakuja chukua baadaye. (Ataka kutoka)

*NGOSWE*; Basi nenda navyo. (Mazoea anarudi kuinama kuvichukua. (Ngoswe kwa sauti ndogo). Hivyo waitwa nani?

*MAZOEA*; Mie?

*NGOSWE*; Ndio wewe hapo kisura.

*MAZOEA*; (anatabasamu huku akiondoka). Mazoea!i

Story ni tamu ila tulishaambiwa ya Ngoswe tumuachie Ngoswe! ! !

[emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35] Kwendreni huko...

Endelea...
Ukifika kwenye ile kiss matata alaiyoipiga Ngoswe kule mtoni unishtue.
Mi ngoja nikuangalizie mama mazoea asije kuharibu utamu.

Dream Queen · May 3, 2017

Freyzem said:
STORY YA DEM WA ADMIN

ADMIN
Morning guyz

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN added George

GEORGE
typing...

LUCY
Morning bebz

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Thanx for add Admin

ADMIN
Welcome bro,za siku

GEORGE
typing..

LUCY
Bebz ninashida,nataka kwenda Moro bt sina nauli,i need only 10,000@Admin

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Nko poa bro,am driving. sorry, ntakuchek baadae.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nko vbaya now, ngoja nifight jioni ntakurushia@Lucy

LUCY
Niaje George.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Hope umenielewa bebz@Lucy

GEORGE
Poa sana Lucy, niambie

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Safe journey bro@ George

LUCY
Umesema your are driving to where?

ADMIN
typing..

GEORGE
Moro @ Lucy.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN
Kwani huoni message zangu Lucy?

LUCY
Gosh! Umefika wapi @ George?

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
George si umesema unadrive tuchat baadae?

GEORGE
Nimefika Ubungo Mataa @ Lucy

LUCY
typing...

GEORGE
Nlikuwa nadrive bt now no ubungo mataa na kunafolen ile mbaya @ Admin

ADMIN
typing..

LUCY
Plz ukifika Kimara nshutue at mm naenda Moro na sina nauli.

GEORGE
typing..

ADMIN
Bebz nimepata, nakurushia@ Lucy.

GEORGE
Haina shida Lucy,in fact I was so loney.

LUCY
typing..

ADMIN removed George.

LUCY left

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mbavu zangu mie.[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Designer_3434 · May 3, 2017

goggles said:
*Pale unapokuwa umefulia sana...Mgeni anakutembelea Maskani kwako....Unaamua Kuchukua Ile Sh 600 iliyobaki na kwenda Dukani Kumnunulia Soda Unaondoka na Chupa Mbili Unanunua Fanta Moja kwaajil ya Mgeni na Ile Chupa ya Sprite Unaijaza Maji ili Ukirudi Uweze kumpa Kampani Mgeni......Unafika Seblen Unampa Ile soda ya Fanta Mgeni anakuambia Fanta huwa situmii Nipe hiyo sprite .....Bwana....Bwana. ...Bwana....Weee*

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Apo ndo utagundundua morinyo anajiskiaje
Kumnunua *POGBA*

Lazima uzime kwanza

harder king · May 3, 2017

Msaada tafadhali.wakati natoka zangu kariakoo nmekata tiketi ya mwendokasi sasa nikiwa njiani c nmejisahau nkatafuna kile kikaratasi,niambieni nifanyeje maana nikiingie kwenye lile banda lao cjui kama ntatoka leo

Dont · May 3, 2017

Majuu kuna seasons nne; winter,
summer, autumn na spring. Huku
Tanzania tuko na season ya maembe,
machungwa, plums, pears na ata ya
mimba

mwenyewe ndio mimi · May 3, 2017

alibakari said:
Chukua sentensi ya kwenye mwezi uliozaliwa unganisha kwenye tarehe kisha malizia na mwaka kisha andika hapo chini yoote.

SELECT A MONTH
JAN: I spit
FEB: I killed
MAR: I slept with
APR: I raped
MAY: I slapped
JUN: I hugged
JUL: I played with
AUG: I jumped on
SEP: I got drunk with
OCT: I need
NOV: I kissed
DEC: I love

ELECT A DAY

01- Someone
02- a donkey
03- a monkey
04- a baboon
05- an elephant
06- my cousin
07- my girlfriend/boyfriend
08- Ronaldo
09- Nicky Minaj
10- a clown
11- Chris Brown
12- a virgin
13- a hobo
14- a genius
15- a gorilla
16- a drunkard
17- a pig
18- a model
19- nobody
20- my dog
21- my first love
22- my ex
23- an old man
24- a dinosaur
25- Kim Kardashian
26- a prostitute
27- the lecturer
28- my best friend
29- a cat
30- an old friend
31- an idiot

SELECT THE YEAR OF BIRTH
*1980*- in a bar
*1981*- in a car park
*1982*- in a dirty pond
*1983*- in an ocean
*1984*- in a police van
*1985*- in a garage
*1986*- in a forest
*1987*- in a swimming pool
*1988*- in a toilet
*1989*- in a garden
*1990*- in a hotel room
*1991*- in a bus
*1992*- in a taxi
*1993*- on my bed
*1994*- in the river
*1995*- in our room
*1996*- on thr playground
*1997*- with out my pants
*1998*- in my house
*1999*- with my eyes open
*2000*- but I'm lying
*2001*- with my eyes closed
*2002*- under the bed
*2003*- up the tree

SEND ME YOUR SENTENCE[emoji85] [emoji85] [emoji85] [emoji85] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

I kissed my first love in a hotel room

sylvesterwille · May 3, 2017

ukhuty said:
[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38]

[emoji12] [emoji12] [emoji12] [emoji12]

supasonic · May 3, 2017

TX Xi X ibia

92brow · May 3, 2017

HIZI MILA NYINGINE NI SHIDA

Juzi nime enda kuzika jirani yangu huko kijijini kwao, sasa utaratibu ni kuwa ,baada ya kuzika mkiwa huko huko makaburini, Mzee wa kimila huwa ana simama na kumtangaza anaye fuatia kufa.
Mzee huyo alipo simama.......kwa kujiamini kabisa aka jikohoresha....arafu akasema mtu wa kwanza kuondoka eneo la makaburini ndiye atakaye fuatia kufa....bila kutaja jina wala nini.............

Leo siku ya tatu bado tuna zunguka zunguka tu hapa makaburini pamoja na yle mzee...[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Shkamooo kifo

*CUBIC NATION*

mwenyewe ndio mimi · May 3, 2017

herrera said:
wenzetu wazungu wakiwa matembezini alafu mtoto akajikwaa akaanguka mama utamsikia "oooh baby are you okey??"

lakini Tanzania utasikia "usimuangalie ataanza kulia"

Haaahaaa si bora huyo mama yangu mie alikuwa anakupa kofi la u kweli huku ana kuuliza"huonii...!"

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

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