Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

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Freyzem said:
Kuna vijimisemo vifupi vimeibuka huku kwenye mitandao kwa sasa, yaani ni full burudani!
Ukivisomo mwisho lazima ubaki mdomo wazi au ucheke, baadhi ya niliyokutana nayo naweka hapa, pia karibuni kwa wenye zaidi tuburudike pamoja!

Leo kidogo nipigwe na MWANAMKE baada ya LIFTI kusimama...wakati tupo kwenye lift Nilikua nayaangalia MAZIWA yake akasema "Bonyeza Moja"[emoji196][emoji196] mi si nikalibonyeza?
Yaani had sasa
bado najiuliza nilipokosea.

Hivi Utajisikieje Utakaposikia Rafiki Yako wa Karibu Hajaja Kwenye Mazishi Yako ???!
Nadhani Mimi Sitamwongelesha Tena !!!! [emoji34][emoji34][emoji34][emoji34]
I think nakaribia kupona

Nimenunua chips ili nile kwa bahat mbaya mtoto wa mama mwingine amekaa next to me akaanza kuzililia.
Imebidi nivae earphones. [emoji19]Napenda watoto, ila utoto ndio sipendi..

Jana nimepita njia ya mkato makaburini warembo wawili wakawa wananikimbilia wanatetemeka Eti tunaogopa kupita peke yetu na mm Nikawajibu hata mm nilivyokuwa hai nilikuwa naogopa sana . Wakazimia
Sipendagi kufatwa fatwa mm[emoji57][emoji57][emoji57]
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Freyzem said:
Leo nimeenda kuchangia damu hospitalini,mara wananambia soda na biskuti zimeisha..!
Sa hii nipo zangu njiani na damu yangu kwenye blood bag naelekea nyumbani. Bora niwapelekee mbu take away..
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wala sijawahi vutaga bangi Mimi
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I swear japo sina stress ila mtaniua maana nilichagua kuja kuusoma huu uzi ili nijiburudishe sasa nacheka kwa nguvu kama kichaa
 
Freyzem said:
Leo nimeenda kuchangia damu hospitalini,mara wananambia soda na biskuti zimeisha..!
Sa hii nipo zangu njiani na damu yangu kwenye blood bag naelekea nyumbani. Bora niwapelekee mbu take away..
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wala sijawahi vutaga bangi Mimi
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Mkuu hii [emoji121] imenichekesha hatari sana [emoji1] [emoji1]
 
*ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!*
*ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!*
Ladies and gentlemen,men and Women, boys and girls, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, Aunties and Uncles, Nieces and Nephews, Grandmothers and grandfathers , Husband and wife, Male and females Dad and Moms. I have nothing to say?[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Going to disturb another thread [emoji125][emoji125][emoji125][emoji125]
 
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*MUME*..... *Mke wangu chukua simu yangu wapigie hospital waambie tuna shida na gari ya ambulance najisikia vibaya sana*

*MKE*...... *Okay nitajie password yako*

*MME*....... *Au basi acha tu kila nafsi itaonja umauti*

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]��������
 
Nimeamka asubuhi na Buku tu, nikamtuma mtoto wa jirani akaninunulie maandazi. Baada ya muda namuona anarudi huku analamba askrimu . Nikamuuliza maandazi yako wapi? Akanijibu eti alipofika kwenye maandazi akakuta kapoteza hela yangu, wakati anarudi kuja kuniambia kama kapoteza hela, njiani kwa bahati akaokota Buku ambayo kuna mtu alipoteza ndio akanunua askrimu....

Kwa sasa niko polisi na mtoto yuko dispensari na mamaake[emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]
 
Rafiki yangu alikuwa
amesinzia tukiwa darasani,
nikachukua simu yake
nikabadilisha alivyosave
namba yangu nikasave "lovely
dad" (ndivyo alivyokuwa
amesave jina la baba yake
mzazi)
Nikamtumia SMS "mwanangu
nimeshinda millioni 100 toka
BIKO, na sasa hivi tutakuwa
na maisha mazuri. Acha
shule njoo tupange tutafanya
biashara gani"
Rafiki yangu baada ya
kusoma sms akanyanyuka na
kukusanya kila kilicho chake
akaanza kuondoka.
Alipofika mlangoni mwalimu
akamuuliza unaenda wapi
bila kuomba ruhusa?
Akageuka akamwonyesha
mwalimu kidole cha kati,
akaachia mfyonzo mkali kisha
akasepa.
Sasa hivi ananisaka kinyama,
nani anajua sehemu nzuri ya
kujifichia [emoji23][emoji23][emoji28][emoji28][emoji109][emoji82]
 
Nimepata wageni bila kujiandaa, Mara mke wangu akahamaki, baba J, nitawezaje kuserve chai isyo na sukari mbele ya marafiki zako maana hata ile ya mtoto haiwez kuwatosha wote.
Nimefikiria kidogo halaf nikamwambia' Leta chai isyo na sukari kwa wote
Ilipofika ilibidi mke atimke zake kwa aibu, sasa kabla ya kuruhusu chai inywewe nmewaambia Jamani karibuni lkn nataka tupge game kidogo...kikombe kimoja hakina sukari so atakae kipata atatupeleka lunch sote hapa. Walipokuwa wanakunywa kila mtu akawa anadai chai yake ina sukar ya kutosha na kwanza imezidi......
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Kumaliza January inahitaji akili ya ziada
 
shiu yang said:
Stress ni nini

Stress ni pale upo kuelekea kazini kwa bahati mrembo anakuomba lift
na bahati mbaya hali yake inabadilika unamkimbiza hospital, baada ya muda doctor anatoka anakwambia hongera, unajiuliza hongera ya nini ana kwambia mkeo ana mimba una tahamaki na kumwambia doctor huyu sio mke wangu lakini kale kadada kwa sauti ya nyororo kanamwambia doctor ni mimba yake, unapanic doctor anakwambia hebu njoo nikupime baada ya mida doctor anatoka anakwambia ni kweli mimba sio yako unashusha pumzi lakini anakwambia nilivyokupima nimegundua huna uwezo wa kudharisha unapatwa na mshitiko na kupata na big stress na kufikiria kama sina uwezo wa kudharisha wale watoto watatu nilio nao ni wa nani.!!?
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hahaaaa manina ..hii bastola itabidi niirejeshe lugalo
 
Angel Nylon said:
*Tulikua kwenye basi tunaelekea arusha, ile namcheki dereva kumbe ni best yangu na basi ilikua kwenye spidi hatari,* *nikaenda kumziba macho nikamuuliza* otea mi ni nani, kabla hajanijibu nikasikia kishindo kikubwa sana
na sasa hivi nimezinduka naona abiria wote tupo wodi namba 3 hapa KCMC Moshi nafkiri stendi imehamishiwa huku sikuizi.
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*Akili zangu nazijua mwenyewe!!!*
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hahaaaaaa bwahaaaaaa aiseeeee huku panaweza kukufnya uonekane chizi...daahhh nimecheka mnoooo watu Nusura wanifunge kamba
 
Mudhyd said:
siku ya valentine day hua napenda kutumia muda wangu kuwaangalia mademu wafupi waliovaa red dresses maana hua nawafananisha na kimtungi cha ORYX
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haahhaaaaa my ribs ...OMG DAHHHHH HAHAAAAA
 
Bili ilivyomchanganya MASSAWE.!

MASSAWE alienda na marafiki zake bar kunywa, baada ya kumaliza kutumia akaletewa bili kama ifuatavyo:
Manka 35,000
Marieta 20,000
Kekuu 30,000
Kitime 15,000
Kinabo 10,000
TOTAL 110,000/=

MASSAWE akaicheki akasema "Wote nitawalipia lakini huyo "TOTAL" Yesuu simlipii.
Kwansa anamiliki sheli kibao sa mafuta hapa bongo. Shensi taip ! Na amekunywa nyingi kuliko wote alipe mwenyewe...
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