Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Mbwa dume]

Hivi sisi waafrika, ni mchezo gani mwingine ambao tukishiriki katika level ya kimataifa tunaweka heshima !? Ukiacha Soka?

Ngono zembe..

 

[Numbisa]

Mume alikuwa anampiga mkewe! jirani akaja kuamua:-
Jirani: Mke hapigwi jirani!!
Mke: Mume wangu msikilize jirani anavyokwambia!
Mume: Ni mjeuri huyu nimfanyeje kama hapigwi?
Jirani: Dawa yake unaoa mke mwengine tu!
Mke: Nyooo Hasidi weee! NIPIGE MUME WANGU USIMSIKILIZE JIRANI..! NIPIGE NIKOME MAANA MIMI WAKATI mwingine SINA ADABU

 

[Numbisa]

Wana yanga wanavyopita kwenye meza za magazet kama wanatoa heshima za mwisho[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Tukiwa church juzi mida ya kujitambulisha wageni kwa waumini ikafika,mdada flani akasimama akasema"I came to spend the weekend with my boyfriend",pointing to the elder of the church,,,,the elder fainted..[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

A wife said to her husband when it comes to sex u are like a cellphone'.
Husband replies,' do i vibrate too much?
Wife answered 'no,u loose network once u get inside.

 

[Numbisa]

Husband and wife agreed tht whenever they wanted to have SEX, they will call it 'PHONE CALL' so tht the children would not understand. One day Dad sents son to tell Mum tht he wants to make 'PHONE CALL'. Mum replies, tel yr dad tht network is busy today. Dad replies, tell yr mum tht the call is urgent, if network is busy, then am going to a Public Phone Booth. Mum replies; tell him tht if he dare goes to a Public Phone Booth, i will OPEN a business centre and all 'PHONE CALLS' will be free[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Hakuna kitu mzuri kama kuwa bachelor hakuna haja kutandika kitanda unapigilia misumari blanketi kwa kitanda alafu kila siku unatoka kama document kwa bahasha[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Akina DADA kama mpenzi wako akikuita MAMITO na wewe muite MAFORONYA, kama mbwai na iwe mbwai tu.[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Rebeca 83]

Wana yanga wanavyopita kwenye meza za magazet kama wanatoa heshima za mwisho[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

 

[miyanga]

Ex wangu leo kaupdate status yake ya watsap et "NILIOTEMBEA NAO WOTE[emoji39]MKAPIME[emoji19]"[emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39][emoji39] Saizi nipo apa pa fundi nguo pana foleni sana[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]Harusi sijui lini anapenda kushtukiza sana[emoji57][emoji57][emoji57]

[emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]

 

[Numbisa]

Inauma sana kuachwa na mtu ulopanga kumuacha..

[emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

*If the bride's parents dance too much on your wedding day just know you just married out the trouble maker in their family.*

 

[Mazindu Msambule]

Kuna group nimeingia huko whatsapp nikauliza jamni vipi?kimya, jamani wazima humu nikakuta kimya[emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35]
nimebadili jina la group kuwa "wauza madawa ya kulevya wa dar" hivi navyosema wameleft karibu wote ...nataka mambo mubashara bwana alaah[emoji2][emoji2][emoji2]kwamba kunijibu nalo ni suala mtambuka[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Haa ha ha, we jamaa una roho mbaya sana haki ya nani! Haa ha ha ha!

 

[Kipanga boy]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Mazindu Msambule]

*Naona pharmacy huku kwetu hawa andiki tena DUKA LA MADAWA..*

*eti kaandika DUKA LA MTU ANAE UMWA*[emoji23][emoji23]
Makonda jaman

Khaa; haa ha haha!

 

[Mazindu Msambule]

Dah lakini hizi mimba hua zinatunyosha
unakuta mwanamke wako ana mimba, na mmeshinda poa 2 mchana mzima, ikifika usiku kitu ka saa sita ivi anakuamsha,
"Bebi nipeleke petrol station niende kunusa petroli"
Mke wangu kwani unazaa Boda boda????
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Haa ha haha, nyie watu mtanipasua mbavu zangu, haa haha!

 

[dingihimself]

1. Ticha:"Punda ni mnyama anaefugwa nyumbani,lakini akiwa mwituni anaitwa pundamilia….Je sungura anayeishi mwituni anaitwaje?"

ZUZU:"Sunguramilia."

2.Ticha:"Rais wa kwanza wa kenya aliitwa KENYATTA…Je rais wa kwanza wa
Tanzania aliitwaje?"
ZUZU:"TANZANIATTA."

3. Ticha:"Kuku yuko katika jamii ya NDEGE…Je samaki yuko katika jamii ya nini?"

ZUZU:"MELI."

4. Ticha:"Coach wa Arsenal anaitwa ARSENE,wa Man-city anaitwa MANCINI….Je wa
Liverpool anaitwaje?

ZUZU:"LIVER."

5 Ticha:"Ukiwa na mbuzi 10,wezi waje waibe 5,utabaki na nini?"

ZUZU:"Hasira nyingi sana!"

 

[Ummu Maryam]

Inauma sana kuachwa na mtu ulopanga kumuacha..

[emoji23][emoji23]

😂😂😂😂😂

 

[Kanungila Karim]

Aiseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee