Life after a very sweet love/relationship
Life after a very sweet love/relationship
- Thread starter TIMING
- Start date
Mbu
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 11, 2007
- 12,752
- 7,861
huh...it's more of a Circus than a Circle buddy!...kuna kipindi utajihisi wewe ni 'Clown' tu hapa duniani...
hah! acheni mchezo na hii kitu Divorce, hasa ikiwa haikuwa dhumuni lako muachane.
Mine (grievances) was 5yrs trying to reason what happenned. Kila mtu na uweza wake wa kuugulia machungu haya.
Wengi wenu mnasoma threads na postings zangu, labda mnaweza connect hizi jigsaws,....
Machungu yake hayaelezeki. Ni sawa na aliyesema machungu ya kuumia mwili si sawa na machungu ya roho!
Acheni kabisa hii kitu...acheni kabisa kuchezea hisia za watu. MTM my brother,..... mimi nakuomba nikuusie kitu kimoja
muhimu sana maishani mwako. Usha spend miaka kumi na Mke wako, mshakula machungu na matamu...then, akatokea
some Old flame, ...nawe ukaamua 'kuacha mbachao kwa msala upitao....!'
Ombea mungu huyo Old flame awe saint kuliko huyo wa mwanzo. I MEAN IT! Iwapo atakuwa na mapungufu makubwa kuliko Ex wako....i.e...mapungufu ya tabia- Uzinzi+Uasherati+Umalaya (Yote yana maana moja?)....Haki ya Mungu utatamani ardhi ipasuke ikumeze!
Huwezi kui feel hiyo sasa.... siku ikikutokea utamkumbuka yule Mbu wa Jamiiforums....
Pheewww, Gaga nawe si majuzi tu ulishereheka kutimiza miaka mingapi vile? Baada ya kupenda, kuna kumzoea...mnakuwa mwili mmoja.
Siku mkiachana, ina maana sehemu moja ya mwili wako ambayo ilikuwa ubavu wako kwa miaka kumi imeondoka pia.
That hurts, na maumivu yake sio sawa na ya kujikata kidole. Mbaya zaidi, uingie kwenye relationship mpya ambayo inakutia machungu kuliko yale mapungufu yaliyotokea awali. Ushawahi sikia msemo, 'kuruka jivu na kukanyaga moto?'
Ehh, nini tena Nyamayao?....sikutishi jamani....rudia kusoma thread zangu u connect the dots....msukule wa mapenzi, mtoto wa kike, kisha ujumlishe na post zangu za hapa.... Kumbuka, my Ex- is the mom of my two Boys...
Yaani mawasiliano yanaendelea nitake nisitake...!
Nyamayao
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 22, 2009
- 6,966
- 2,357
sasa Mbu....hapa ni kwamba hata kama yametushinda tugangamale tu mpaka kieleweke? na kama unaona hakieleweki na mwenzio kaamua iwe hivyo utaendelea tu kugangamala?..mie niliona sis alivyosota wakati ule but kwasasa ana enjoy lyfe lake sana sana, na hataki kuolewa tena bali anasema ile watoto kupokezaniwa malezi ndicho kinachomkera, otherwise anasema angejua kuanzia mwanzo acngejisumbua kupambania ndoa kiac kile, huku kwa ex hubby tayari kaoa but kero anazipotoa ni kila cku kumkumbuka mke wake(sis).....hii issue ngumu sana.
Gaga
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 6, 2011
- 4,558
- 1,970
Nimekwelewa vizuri mbu, nachojiuliza juu yako ni pale uliposema hukumpenda huyo x...... ilikuwaje, coz what i know mie niko hapa nakula tamu na shubiri, najua love ilikuwepo na ipo, na huku nikiendelea kuzingatia prinsipo zangu za mahusiano,nikija bauns huko mbele nitasimulia jinsi nilivyokuwa nampenda huyu baba watoto, labda uniambie hukuwa unampenda wakati mnaoana...huh...it's more of a Circus than a Circle buddy!...kuna kipindi utajihisi wewe ni 'Clown' tu hapa duniani...
hah! acheni mchezo na hii kitu Divorce, hasa ikiwa haikuwa dhumuni lako muachane.
Mine (grievances) was 5yrs trying to reason what happenned. Kila mtu na uweza wake wa kuugulia machungu haya.
Wengi wenu mnasoma threads na postings zangu, labda mnaweza connect hizi jigsaws,....
Machungu yake hayaelezeki. Ni sawa na aliyesema machungu ya kuumia mwili si sawa na machungu ya roho!
Acheni kabisa hii kitu...acheni kabisa kuchezea hisia za watu. MTM my brother,..... mimi nakuomba nikuusie kitu kimoja
muhimu sana maishani mwako. Usha spend miaka kumi na Mke wako, mshakula machungu na matamu...then, akatokea
some Old flame, ...nawe ukaamua 'kuacha mbachao kwa msala upitao....!'
Ombea mungu huyo Old flame awe saint kuliko huyo wa mwanzo. I MEAN IT! Iwapo atakuwa na mapungufu makubwa kuliko Ex wako....i.e...mapungufu ya tabia- Uzinzi+Uasherati+Umalaya (Yote yana maana moja?)....Haki ya Mungu utatamani ardhi ipasuke ikumeze!
Huwezi kui feel hiyo sasa.... siku ikikutokea utamkumbuka yule Mbu wa Jamiiforums....
Pheewww, Gaga nawe si majuzi tu ulishereheka kutimiza miaka mingapi vile? Baada ya kupenda, kuna kumzoea...mnakuwa mwili mmoja.
Siku mkiachana, ina maana sehemu moja ya mwili wako ambayo ilikuwa ubavu wako kwa miaka kumi imeondoka pia.
That hurts, na maumivu yake sio sawa na ya kujikata kidole. Mbaya zaidi, uingie kwenye relationship mpya ambayo inakutia machungu kuliko yale mapungufu yaliyotokea awali. Ushawahi sikia msemo, 'kuruka jivu na kukanyaga moto?'
Ehh, nini tena Nyamayao?....sikutishi jamani....rudia kusoma thread zangu u connect the dots....msukule wa mapenzi, mtoto wa kike, kisha ujumlishe na post zangu za hapa.... Kumbuka, my Ex- is the mom of my two Boys...
Yaani mawasiliano yanaendelea nitake nisitake...!
Kwa kweli mahusiano ni magumu sana ila inapotokea kama kwako huna budi kuanza maisha mapya , sasa kwenye haya mapya embu zingatia haya hapa chini---
hivi ni vitu vinavyoleta uhusiano thabiti......
- Staying involved with each other. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there.
- Getting through conflict. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, through, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right.
- Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.
- Communicating. Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Critical to communication are nonverbal cues-body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone's arm.
Mbu
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 11, 2007
- 12,752
- 7,861
...pheeeww, unataka nifunguke sasa.
Nitakuwekea kwenye kifuu...(nut shell)...
8yrs - Ndoa na Roller Coaster ride zake. Tanzania.
18 months - Separation, Mke Tanzania...Mume Ughaibuni.
6months - "Honeymoon!" period Ughaibuni (mke na mume)
Then, siku ya siku mke kalipukwa Ughaibuni anataka talaka, hataki kusikia la muadhini wala la mnadi swala
Apewe talaka yake!
Mke akaenda kuolewa na Mzungu, ...nako huko yakamshinda...
Mbu akabakia anaugulia vidonda vya tumbo ...kwenye kuokoteza, akampata Nunda balaa kuliko wa mwanzo!
Naomba maswali yaishie hapa.
Nyamayao
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 22, 2009
- 6,966
- 2,357
pole sana Mbu...hii ilikuwa kama ujio wa Kristu, hatujui cku wala saa, kweli kwenye hili game nalo unatakiwa kujiandaa tu waweza kutwaliwa wakati wowote......nikisomaga thread zako nikifika home huwa namwangalia msukuma mara mbili mbili kujaribu kufikiri anafikiri nn ili niweze "kujiweka" sawa kwa lolote...'9cku akilipukwa"......cjui mie ndio ntaanza "kulipukwa"...khaaaaa
Mbu
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 11, 2007
- 12,752
- 7,861
....Hapana, umenisoma vibaya. Pamoja na mapungufu na tofauti zetu, Nilimpenda Sana,..ndio maana nikazaa nae, nikaoana nae,..nikaishi nae miaka kumi ya ndoa. Kwenye mapenzi kuna mengi ikiwamo na mazoea.
Nikielezea 'sio kwamba nilimpenda ki viiile!' haina maana sikumpenda, la hasha...ina maana bado moyoni mwangu hata kwenye 2nd relationship niliweza kumpenda mw'mke mwingine mpaka pale aliponitenda nayeye.
Jibu la Nyongeza; huu moyo wa mbu ambao ushakamuliwa namna hii bado kuna sehemu ya mwisho imebakia ili Soulmate nae aridhike. Haya ndio 'maajabu' ya moyo,...ukiupa nafasi...utaendelea kupenda.
MwanajamiiOne
Platinum Member
- Jul 24, 2008
- 10,470
- 6,580
nyamayao unafaa sana kuwa wakili, umembana Mbu mpaka leo kafunguka!!
Pole Mbu, sasa naifananisha na ile story ya mdada alokuwa anasubiria reconciliation akaambulia surmons ya mahakama akitakiwa ku'pokea' divorce. Pole Mbu
MTM................kama hai imefikia huku basi all that I can say is that You are a very STRONG man!! maana taking into account all those sifa ulizokuwa unamsifia mkeo mpenzi kumbe ndani unateketea!! I salute you kaka yangu!
Pole Mbu, sasa naifananisha na ile story ya mdada alokuwa anasubiria reconciliation akaambulia surmons ya mahakama akitakiwa ku'pokea' divorce. Pole Mbu
MTM................kama hai imefikia huku basi all that I can say is that You are a very STRONG man!! maana taking into account all those sifa ulizokuwa unamsifia mkeo mpenzi kumbe ndani unateketea!! I salute you kaka yangu!
King’asti
Platinum Member
- Nov 26, 2009
- 27,855
- 24,925
afu nyie mnaopinga divorce, kuna mtu kawatuma eeh? nimestukia,sitishiki, hehehe!
jokes aside: i blv in divorce aisee, if u arnt happy together for serious matters kama physical abuse, serial cheating (kuna wenza wako vulnerable yy hata kwenye lami anateleza,mweh!) na mengineyo (kwa mfano, i cant put up with issues za uchawi). emotionl abuse pia,especially inapokuja mambo ya kukosa staha na utukanana even mbele za watu, nadhani inakuwa biashara kichaa. Bt yote yana Mungu, i believe huwezi kupiga makasia alone. nadhani nimejizoesha ku-adopt na ku-adapt to all situations. hivi mlishafikiria yule mtu ambaye anafiwa na mwenzi wake, mikononi mwake with lips signaling ''i love u King'asti wangu, take good care of ur self for me..'' halafu anakata roho? uchungu na upweke wake, manake hamjagombana na haja-choose kukuacha! i bet hiyo inaumiza zaidi kwa hiyo kama ni kuachana by choice mi nadhani ni nusu shari. so i will be fine with it!
jokes aside: i blv in divorce aisee, if u arnt happy together for serious matters kama physical abuse, serial cheating (kuna wenza wako vulnerable yy hata kwenye lami anateleza,mweh!) na mengineyo (kwa mfano, i cant put up with issues za uchawi). emotionl abuse pia,especially inapokuja mambo ya kukosa staha na utukanana even mbele za watu, nadhani inakuwa biashara kichaa. Bt yote yana Mungu, i believe huwezi kupiga makasia alone. nadhani nimejizoesha ku-adopt na ku-adapt to all situations. hivi mlishafikiria yule mtu ambaye anafiwa na mwenzi wake, mikononi mwake with lips signaling ''i love u King'asti wangu, take good care of ur self for me..'' halafu anakata roho? uchungu na upweke wake, manake hamjagombana na haja-choose kukuacha! i bet hiyo inaumiza zaidi kwa hiyo kama ni kuachana by choice mi nadhani ni nusu shari. so i will be fine with it!
BlackBerry
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 22, 2011
- 1,839
- 958
Ooooops bwana Mbu ....pole mzee sasa wewe umeona kabisa mtoto wa kwa mtogole hajawahi ona wazungu
imekuwaje umempeleka huko? khaaa, mie nimewaona wengi nje wanawake wanaenda na waume zao wanawaacha
sijui ni ulimbukeni au nini, yaani anakuwa anaona mwanaume anamsimamo wa kurudi yeye hataki basi anaona
divorce ni solution, na kwa uhakika atajutia nafsi........dah soulmate kama namwona vile
BlackBerry
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 22, 2011
- 1,839
- 958
BlackBerry
JF-Expert Member
- Mar 22, 2011
- 1,839
- 958
Unanifurahisha sana gaga,hivi nikikuomba unisimamie harusi yangu utakubali? wewe husikii kuchoka kiukweli miaka yote hiyo?
ni hii tu prinsipo unatumia au kuna ziada, funf
Fidel80
JF-Expert Member
- May 3, 2008
- 21,947
- 4,470
Naona kaka ako ameamua kuishi maisha ya peke yake ambayo ni mazuri kwa sasa ndo maana hataki tena kuoa zaidi ya kumega huyu na kumwacha. Ukimuuliza atakwambia laiti kama angekuwa anajua maisha anayo ishi leo hii angeendelea toka ujana wake.
King’asti
Platinum Member
- Nov 26, 2009
- 27,855
- 24,925
BB, unajua nadhani ni wachache ambao wako shortsighted ndo wanapenda kwa makusudi. lakini hebu turejee comments za nyuma hapo. nadhani hii mosquito ametufunza hapa pia, never to take our spouses/partners for a ride/granted! unaweza kudhani unachezea moyo wa mwenzio kumbe ndo umeacha mbachao! ukistuka msala ushapita na mbachao nayo imekula kona. im sorry mtm, mbu na wakaka wengine, lakini ktk jamii niliyokulia mimi nimeona wanawake wanavumilia ile mbaya. wengine kiasi cha kufa na kansa (continuous stress ni mojawapi ya risk factors..) na hata depression na magonjwa ya moyo. ugonjwa hautibiwi kwa ugonjwa mwingine (crazy scientists with their crazy vaccines!)nadhani najifunza hapa kuwa nifanye kila niwezalo kuokoa jahazi,ila mwenzangu akiamua kuzamisha ile makasia yake, sijui kama kuna choice tena hapo zaidi ya kujitupa majini!
Nyani Ngabu
Platinum Member
- May 15, 2006
- 94,296
- 122,540
Wee nawe na hiyo binduki yako ya maji......sijui utamtisha nani...
Mbu
JF-Expert Member
- Jan 11, 2007
- 12,752
- 7,861
...dah,....mnanipa pole ya nini sasa jamani nami nishawaambia nimepoa? ha ha ha...
Maisha lazima yaendelee, yanaendelea....
Huruma yangu, na pole ziwaendee wale waliomo kwenye mashaka ya kuachana hivi sasa,
kama sredi hii ya MTM inavyojionyesha. Machungu yake mnhhh...
...LOL....Nyamayao,....msiishi kama 'yeye kashikilia dumu la Petroli wewe umeshikilia kiberiti!'....
hapana,....pamoja na tahadhari kabla ya hatari, kuna umuhimu wa kufurahia maisha vile vile.
A
Maisha lazima yaendelee, yanaendelea....
Huruma yangu, na pole ziwaendee wale waliomo kwenye mashaka ya kuachana hivi sasa,
kama sredi hii ya MTM inavyojionyesha. Machungu yake mnhhh...
...LOL....Nyamayao,....msiishi kama 'yeye kashikilia dumu la Petroli wewe umeshikilia kiberiti!'....
hapana,....pamoja na tahadhari kabla ya hatari, kuna umuhimu wa kufurahia maisha vile vile.
A