Aizat
JF-Expert Member
- Oct 4, 2025
- 247
- 651
Uliza tu mkuu usijali
Uliza tu mkuu usijaliOk sawa kuna kitu nataka kuku Uliza kama hautojali mkuu
OkayOk Nitakuja kwa pm mkuu.
HahahahahaaaKamsemee kwa babaake
Tunza hiyo will vizuri, siku mzee akipumzika nicheck nikusaidie kukupa muongozo wa mgawanyo kwa wadogo zako..!! 😻Nina mdogo wangu anaichukia kisa ninekuwa mstari wa mbele kumkanya.
Lakin makosa yake nishaitwa shuleni mara kobao sasa come to think about it i only want best for him
Ukali wangu ni kutokana na mambo yake. Mfano alikutwa chini ya daraja na wenzake wanavuta bangi. At school kanunua konyagi na wenzake wanapiga class.
Upande wake anaona sawa. Upande wangu naona sio sawa...
If he sat down and think even for a minute ni kwa nini nakuwa mkali kwake ataelewa its all out of love. I spoke to him sat down with him, still does what he does
Ila perhaps anaelewa just today called me nakuja kukusalimia kaka. Sebuleni tumekaa tuna watch movie less talk. Just sitting around him playing with my kid. ...
Baba yangu ni mkali kuna siku naumwa anagomba kwa nini humezi dawa kwa wakati. Ila najua anagomba to him is a way ya kusema pole mwanangu. Within he cares most🙂
Kwa nini, mbali na ukali wote kuna siku accidentally niliona will yake mali zake zote kaniandikia mimi na ndo first born..kaandika kabisa atasimamia na kuwagaia wadogo zake
Kuna siku pia nilishamsikia akimwambia mtu mali zangu namwachia mwanangu mmoja tu yeye ndo ana akili ya kuziendeleza wengine atawaangalia yeye...
🙂
Mbona ni mambo ya kawaida Sana Dogo shida yako ni nini? Inaonekana Baba Yako asingekudhibiti wewe ungekuwa Mbuga bangi au jambazi.Kila binadamu huwa anakuwa na mtihani wake... Leo nimeona nitoe japo snippet yangu, kwa vile hili jukwaa ni kubwa nadhani naweza kupata mtu wa kunibadilisha mawazo..
Kwanza kabisa.... I'll be 29 this month. Na kuna vitu huwa navipuuza but they're starting to make clear sense now..
Si unajua utu uzima dawa Buddha! So japo mapambano yanaendelea kuna time inabidi uwe vulnerable kidogo uache ego ikae pembeni maana haiweki chakula kwenye sahani wala kulipa kodi.
So, kufupisha stori ni hivi...
Mimi na mzee wangu hatuko sawa, na sioni dalili ya kuja kuwa sawa tena... Maana Kadri siku zinavyoenda nazidi kupata picha yake halisi na ninazdi kukosa connection nae kabisa sioni kama kuna umoja kati yetu..
Ninamheshimu sana mzee, amenipa maisha, ya kipekee sana, katusomesha, he was overly protective. Ila alikuwa sijui itakuwa sahihi kusema kapitiliza kutoa protection..
Baba yetu alikuwa mtu wa perfection yaani hataki kusikia ulisahahu nini, alikuwa hataki mazoea na watu growing up nimelelewa maisha ya geti kali.. Hatukua wa kishua hata ila ni vile tu mzee alikuwa na secure job.
Mama yangu was such a best woman ever existed (may she rest easy)
Sitaki kwenda deep zaidi, ila hayo maisha ni mabaya sana kwa watoto. Yanawaharibu sana kisaikolojia..
Mzee wangu alikuwa so controlling na ikifika hatua by the age of me getting to secondary school nikawa naona kabisa haya maisha sio right.. Yaani he was dealing with alot for sure, but even when since mom was still available akifanya vile vile kwake, so nimekuwa nikiona familia iliyo njema na yenye furaha kwa nje, but giza likitanda usiku ni hatari.. Kelele torture kwa wanaishi ndani.
Sitaki kuingia sana kuelezezea nini kulikuwa kinatokea ila nahisi mmepata picha sahihi..
Ili fika kipindi ikawa ukifika muda wa kurudi shule moyo unafurahi... Ila bado unatoka home na Maumivu tu, yaani it was hell... Na ukiwa mtoto wa kiume inapaswa umezee ndani. Usiwe weak, usiwe coward..
My school life was nerve wrecking, I never enjoyed it.. Hata ndugu hawakutaka kusikia kuhusu mimi na drama za mzee wangu. It was lonely as fvck.. It reached a point nikawa suicidal kabisa.. Ningekuwa najua mbinu za Kujimaliza ningelifanya hivyo.. I always thought of my mom.. Na hata kifo chake mzee pia alichagiza(she was tired of all the mess)... Na muda nikikaa kufikiri huwa natumia vibaya sana.
Kupunguza stori, ni kuwa beside yote hayo mzee katufunza kuwa disciplined, alikuwa ni mtu wa nothing happens usipo jituma. Na ilinisaidia sana kuperform shule I despite mazito niliyo kuwa na pambana nayo ndani.
Ila with all the chaos, nilipo fika chuo nilisema mazima home, or tuseme nilikuwa soo tired hata kumface mzee machoni ilikuwa trauma inducing. Ilikuwa hata akinioigia simu natetemeka kuokota.. Hiyo ni miaka ya 2021 na huko na maliza chuo nikasema.. I have nothing to do with him, nikajiapia ntarudi ila I was terribly tired of thinking atakuwa sawa. Ilikuwa ni kelele daily aisee..
Sasa baada ya kutoka home life ilikuwa ngumu mbaya mbovu... Sijawahi kuona uchungu wa kutafuta wazee, that's when life kicked me to the curve. Nililala chini mimi. All I had was money ya kodi tu. Nikifanya kazi kama mtumwa, na sijui hata ujasiri huo Ulitoka wapi.. All I did was for money, imagine unafanya kazi kutwa unapata elf5? Hapo Natafuta Ajira ya kujishikisha.
All was well, baada ya muda nikaanza kuwa stable, na maisha ya kaanza kuwa smooth, but trust me kuna muda kidogo nirudi home, ila ili shindikana kwa sababu ningeaibika tu. I worked my ass off nikaanza kuona matunda.. Japo Sija fika ila I see progress.
So baada ya miaka kama mi3 hivi ya ku struggle ndo sasa naanza kuiona picha halisi ya mzee, wangu. He only instilled fear on me. Nimejikuta nikichukia watu sana, nikichukia hasa kuona mtu ana I control... Hasa makazini. Sipendi mtu aniamrishe(huwa ina induce pain kutoka kwa mzee wangu)
I know ni kwa sababu ya zile kumbukumbu za mzee wangu, nimekuwa nikijibizana sana na maboss kazi baada ya kazi, nataka niwe my own boss. Ila we both know sio rahisi. Maisha ya nahitaji kujishusha ila kwangu inakuwa kipengele maana huwa naweza kuwa people pleaser au kujiona kupitiliza(hii ni imbalance ya bad treatment utotoni)
Najaribu kujifunza na kuwa bora, na naona matokeo kuhusu hilo(it's taken me years of shadow work)
Tukiachana na hayo yote, baada ya muda mrefu mzee amekuwa kama anataka nirudi, najua uzee na upweke utakua unammendea ila sioni kama nitaweza hata kumface tena.
Hivi unajua ile ya kuwa huna commonness na mtu? Yaani unajua kabisa huyu ni mtu wa namna gani, na unajua hata iweje hawezi kuwa wamoja?
Ndo ninavyo mwona baba yangu, I do respect and love him for being a good Dad. Ila ile treatment yake udogoni iliniharibu vibaya sana mustakabli wa maisha yangu, nimesha samehe na namtakia afya na maisha marefu sana but sioni kama tutakaa kuelewana tena. Yeye ana namna anayaona mambo ambavyo mimi sioni..
So kama mtu mzima, na utu uzima dawa nimeona hakuna haja tena ya kukaa na jambo lenye kuja kuwa na impact ambayo mimi huenda nisiione now.
Ningependa kama tungeacha drama kidogo katika hili, ingependeza kidogo.
Huyo Dogo amenishangaza yaani kukalipiwa Tu na kuonywa tena na Baba yake anaona kama ni matesoTatizo lilianzia mbali, kwa vile mzazi wako kakushindwa huwezi kutushinda walimwengu tutakupelekea moto mpaka ukae sawa..!!
Huyo hamnazo baba mtu mzima wa 29 ana tabia za hovyo..!!Huyo Dogo amenishangaza yaani kukalipiwa Tu na kuonywa tena na Baba yake anaona kama ni mateso
Haya maisha ya kupewa kila kitu ni mazuri lakini yanawaharibu watoto.
Anaona kufanya kazi na ukalipwa 5k kama ni mateso, na ni mwanaume
Wenzako tulikuwa tunapigwa finbo za kufa mtu na Huyo huyo Baba Ada hakulipii, na viatu na soksi zimechanika na Nyumba ya kulala hakuna
Hiyo will sinayo niliona tu bahati mbaya kwenye karatasi zake😀Tunza hiyo will vizuri, siku mzee akipumzika nicheck nikusaidie kukupa muongozo wa mgawanyo kwa wadogo zako..!! 😻
That's my point,una miaka 29 ushakua babu,why ulalamike kuhusu malezi??Mkuu acha matani basi
Yaani kwa mabandiko yangu makini unigroup kwenye age group hiyo kweli?
I think being a man is so overrated these days. To be a man is not enclosed in just being serous all the time, and hiding the pain away. Atleast I'm just tryna win, win myself and become the best version
I got you brother🙏🙏That's my point,una miaka 29 ushakua babu,why ulalamike kuhusu malezi??
Wote tunacomment hapa na Watanzania wengine tunatoka katika family ambazo zimetofautiana 'degree' za malezi.
Kila familia ina matatizo yake,wazazi nao binadamu so hawawezi kua sahii hata kwa 60% plus na wao walikua watoto pia, wametoka katika familia hizi hizi za matatizo tele
Malezi yana influence maisha ya mtoto hadi uzeeni kwake(not destiny),. ukiwa mtu mbaya unakua mtu mbaya sababu umechagua kua mtu mbaya sio sababu umepata malezi mabaya(and vice versa).,life experiences na personal choices ndio zina shape mtu..
Kama ulivyochagua kuona Upande mbaya wa Baba yako,unaweza kuchagua pia kuona mema yake,kiasi gani kajitoa hili uende shule,upate chakula and roof over your head..
Just kubali tu binadamu kiumbe dhaifu(you as well).,ukisamehe na ku move on itakusaidia kupona.
Learn to Love..
Ukikosea kitu rekebisha badala ya kutoa utetezi usiohitajika.Yeah... That "a" wasn't intentional sio kwamba sijui..
Japo sio rahisi tu kukubali na kuachilia jambo lipite, I'll keep on remorphing myself niwe sawa na mzee wangu.
Kwa conclusion, si kila kutokuelewana na mzazi kunamaanisha uhusiano umefika mwisho. Wakati mwingine muda, ukomavu na mazungumzo ya kweli vinaweza kurekebisha mambo ambayo leo yanaonekana hayawezekani. Muhimu ni kutunza heshima na kutoruhusu tofauti za leo zifute thamani ya uhusiano wa maisha yote.Kila binadamu huwa anakuwa na mtihani wake... Leo nimeona nitoe japo snippet yangu, kwa vile hili jukwaa ni kubwa nadhani naweza kupata mtu wa kunibadilisha mawazo..
Kwanza kabisa.... I'll be 29 this month. Na kuna vitu huwa navipuuza but they're starting to make clear sense now..
Si unajua utu uzima dawa Buddha! So japo mapambano yanaendelea kuna time inabidi uwe vulnerable kidogo uache ego ikae pembeni maana haiweki chakula kwenye sahani wala kulipa kodi.
So, kufupisha stori ni hivi...
Mimi na mzee wangu hatuko sawa, na sioni dalili ya kuja kuwa sawa tena... Maana Kadri siku zinavyoenda nazidi kupata picha yake halisi na ninazdi kukosa connection nae kabisa sioni kama kuna umoja kati yetu..
Ninamheshimu sana mzee, amenipa maisha, ya kipekee sana, katusomesha, he was overly protective. Ila alikuwa sijui itakuwa sahihi kusema kapitiliza kutoa protection..
Baba yetu alikuwa mtu wa perfection yaani hataki kusikia ulisahahu nini, alikuwa hataki mazoea na watu growing up nimelelewa maisha ya geti kali.. Hatukua wa kishua hata ila ni vile tu mzee alikuwa na secure job.
Mama yangu was such a best woman ever existed (may she rest easy)
Sitaki kwenda deep zaidi, ila hayo maisha ni mabaya sana kwa watoto. Yanawaharibu sana kisaikolojia..
Mzee wangu alikuwa so controlling na ikifika hatua by the age of me getting to secondary school nikawa naona kabisa haya maisha sio right.. Yaani he was dealing with alot for sure, but even when since mom was still available akifanya vile vile kwake, so nimekuwa nikiona familia iliyo njema na yenye furaha kwa nje, but giza likitanda usiku ni hatari.. Kelele torture kwa wanaishi ndani.
Sitaki kuingia sana kuelezezea nini kulikuwa kinatokea ila nahisi mmepata picha sahihi..
Ili fika kipindi ikawa ukifika muda wa kurudi shule moyo unafurahi... Ila bado unatoka home na Maumivu tu, yaani it was hell... Na ukiwa mtoto wa kiume inapaswa umezee ndani. Usiwe weak, usiwe coward..
My school life was nerve wrecking, I never enjoyed it.. Hata ndugu hawakutaka kusikia kuhusu mimi na drama za mzee wangu. It was lonely as fvck.. It reached a point nikawa suicidal kabisa.. Ningekuwa najua mbinu za Kujimaliza ningelifanya hivyo.. I always thought of my mom.. Na hata kifo chake mzee pia alichagiza(she was tired of all the mess)... Na muda nikikaa kufikiri huwa natumia vibaya sana.
Kupunguza stori, ni kuwa beside yote hayo mzee katufunza kuwa disciplined, alikuwa ni mtu wa nothing happens usipo jituma. Na ilinisaidia sana kuperform shule I despite mazito niliyo kuwa na pambana nayo ndani.
Ila with all the chaos, nilipo fika chuo nilisema mazima home, or tuseme nilikuwa soo tired hata kumface mzee machoni ilikuwa trauma inducing. Ilikuwa hata akinioigia simu natetemeka kuokota.. Hiyo ni miaka ya 2021 na huko na maliza chuo nikasema.. I have nothing to do with him, nikajiapia ntarudi ila I was terribly tired of thinking atakuwa sawa. Ilikuwa ni kelele daily aisee..
Sasa baada ya kutoka home life ilikuwa ngumu mbaya mbovu... Sijawahi kuona uchungu wa kutafuta wazee, that's when life kicked me to the curve. Nililala chini mimi. All I had was money ya kodi tu. Nikifanya kazi kama mtumwa, na sijui hata ujasiri huo Ulitoka wapi.. All I did was for money, imagine unafanya kazi kutwa unapata elf5? Hapo Natafuta Ajira ya kujishikisha.
All was well, baada ya muda nikaanza kuwa stable, na maisha ya kaanza kuwa smooth, but trust me kuna muda kidogo nirudi home, ila ili shindikana kwa sababu ningeaibika tu. I worked my ass off nikaanza kuona matunda.. Japo Sija fika ila I see progress.
So baada ya miaka kama mi3 hivi ya ku struggle ndo sasa naanza kuiona picha halisi ya mzee, wangu. He only instilled fear on me. Nimejikuta nikichukia watu sana, nikichukia hasa kuona mtu ana I control... Hasa makazini. Sipendi mtu aniamrishe(huwa ina induce pain kutoka kwa mzee wangu)
I know ni kwa sababu ya zile kumbukumbu za mzee wangu, nimekuwa nikijibizana sana na maboss kazi baada ya kazi, nataka niwe my own boss. Ila we both know sio rahisi. Maisha ya nahitaji kujishusha ila kwangu inakuwa kipengele maana huwa naweza kuwa people pleaser au kujiona kupitiliza(hii ni imbalance ya bad treatment utotoni)
Najaribu kujifunza na kuwa bora, na naona matokeo kuhusu hilo(it's taken me years of shadow work)
Tukiachana na hayo yote, baada ya muda mrefu mzee amekuwa kama anataka nirudi, najua uzee na upweke utakua unammendea ila sioni kama nitaweza hata kumface tena.
Hivi unajua ile ya kuwa huna commonness na mtu? Yaani unajua kabisa huyu ni mtu wa namna gani, na unajua hata iweje hawezi kuwa wamoja?
Ndo ninavyo mwona baba yangu, I do respect and love him for being a good Dad. Ila ile treatment yake udogoni iliniharibu vibaya sana mustakabli wa maisha yangu, nimesha samehe na namtakia afya na maisha marefu sana but sioni kama tutakaa kuelewana tena. Yeye ana namna anayaona mambo ambavyo mimi sioni..
So kama mtu mzima, na utu uzima dawa nimeona hakuna haja tena ya kukaa na jambo lenye kuja kuwa na impact ambayo mimi huenda nisiione now.
Ningependa kama tungeacha drama kidogo katika hili, ingependeza kidogo.
HakikaSisi mzee wetu alikuwa anatupeleka sinema miaka hiyo ya 90 kwenye 93 hivi. Alitupa uhuru wa kutosha ila giza likikukuta nje ni kichapo cha haja. Udikteta sana pia sio mzuri.
Kwani mmezoanaje mkuu? Kaa nae ongea uwe unaongea nae kiutu uzima unamwambia namna bora ya kujiepusha na hayo yote.. Wengi huogopa maswali ila inabidi tuAisee sijui nikuambiaje kuna muda tunacheka tunafurah tunapiga story ila we acha tu ,ukimchekea na kumuangalia tu bila ukali ndio anakuonyesha sasa anataka uhuru zaidi isingekuwa hivyo angepigwa mimba sasa acha tu sitaki mchezo
Sawa mkuuPole mkuu, nazani mzee wako hana ubaya ila ni katika zile kushow love kwa watoto wake, kuna wakati inabidi awe mkali kwa maslahi yako ya baadae .
Kama amekusomesha amekupa vitu vyote ulivotaka amemheshimu na mama yako hana shida yeyote..