Ni mke wa mtu, ni mzuri, ANANITAKA nifanyeje?

[Mwanamayu]

Nilimpa lift jumatano asubuhi wiki iliyopita. Anasoma chuo cha usimamizi wa hotel. Aliomba namba yangu ili ikiwezekana niwe nampa lifti siku moja moja hasa nyakati za asubuhi na jioni. Siku hiyo Jioni alinipigia simu kuniuliza kama nimetoka kazini ili nimsaidie lift. Bahati nzuri nilikuwa karibu kutoka ofcn, akaopt kunisubiri. On ourway home Aliniuliza ninaishi na nani, nikamjibu na wadogo zangu na nina mchumba yupo hapahapa Bongo ila hatuishi nae. Akasema yeye anaishi na mumewe na wana mototo mmoja wa miaka minne, mumewe ni mtu wa kusafiri sana safari za mikoani. Lakini Kuanzia hiyo j’tano she keep on trying to be close to me, also she asked my weekend plans. I managed to avoid meeting with her this weekend but I’m not sure if my strength to avoid her forever will persist longer coz she is so cute. Sina uhakika kama anataka mahusiano lakini ni ngumu kumkatalia akitaka. The way she talk, the way she look, the way she ask, her figure Uhhhhh! dud Nifanyeje na huyu mtu? Leo nilipanga sinta mpa-lift sikupokea hata simu yake asubuhi lakini nilipofika kituoni ikawa kama mbwa mbele ya chatu.

Bado hujakomaa; ina maana hata baada ya kuoa huyo mchumba wako ukiona tu mwanamke mzuri basi unataka utembee naye. Kwanza je hata huko ndani ni mzuri, usijekuwa una-judge kitabu kwa kuangalia cover!!

 

[SMU]

Kusema 'NO', hasa kwa mwanaume ni kazi ngumu kweli.....binafsi naelewa vizuri sana 'ugumu' anaoupata ndugu yetu Elia kuchomoka kwenye mtego wa huyo dada/mama. Kwa mfano, hawezi kuacha ghafla tu kutoa hiyo huduma ya lift bila kutoa sababu ya msingi kwa huyo dada. Na mbaya zaidi Elia anavutiwa mno na huyo dada...maana anavyomsifia mapaka by implication inamdhalilisha huyo mchumba wake.

Yote kwa yote, ndugu yangu Elia angalia "usiteme Big G kwa karanga za kuonjeshwa"!

 

[Eiyer]

Hebu kabla hujaendelea sana,ingia kwenye viatu vya huyo mume wa huyo dada kisha uone!Halafu fahamu pia what goes around come around!

 

[geophysics]

Nilimpa lift jumatano asubuhi wiki iliyopita. Anasoma chuo cha usimamizi wa hotel. Aliomba namba yangu ili ikiwezekana niwe nampa lifti siku moja moja hasa nyakati za asubuhi na jioni. Siku hiyo Jioni alinipigia simu kuniuliza kama nimetoka kazini ili nimsaidie lift. Bahati nzuri nilikuwa karibu kutoka ofcn, akaopt kunisubiri. On ourway home Aliniuliza ninaishi na nani, nikamjibu na wadogo zangu na nina mchumba yupo hapahapa Bongo ila hatuishi nae. Akasema yeye anaishi na mumewe na wana mototo mmoja wa miaka minne, mumewe ni mtu wa kusafiri sana safari za mikoani. Lakini Kuanzia hiyo j’tano she keep on trying to be close to me, also she asked my weekend plans. I managed to avoid meeting with her this weekend but I’m not sure if my strength to avoid her forever will persist longer coz she is so cute. Sina uhakika kama anataka mahusiano lakini ni ngumu kumkatalia akitaka. The way she talk, the way she look, the way she ask, her figure Uhhhhh! dud Nifanyeje na huyu mtu? Leo nilipanga sinta mpa-lift sikupokea hata simu yake asubuhi lakini nilipofika kituoni ikawa kama mbwa mbele ya chatu.

Kaa mbali ana ngoma......kama hauamini amini leo..... Mume wake ni mtu wa kusafiri (??????) basi na yeye ni mtu wa kusafiri maana wewe si wa kwanza kukuomba lift. Utaukwaaa muda si mrefu ukiingia mtegoni.

 

[Katavi]

Mkwepe sana huyo, ikiwezekana badili njia kama kuna option hiyo ili usiweze kukutana nae..
Mke wa mtu ni sumu!!

 

[Masikini_Jeuri]

Ikemee dhambi uyakimbie Mauti!............kwani nikikukuta nitakuua!

 

[Kidzude]

Secret Agent huyo anataka kukumaliza. Kaka kimbia utaharibu maisha yako ukiingia mkenge, shetani Mjanja nadhani anakupigia hesabu akumalize.

 

[JOYCE PAUL]

Nilimpa lift jumatano asubuhi wiki iliyopita. Anasoma chuo cha usimamizi wa hotel. Aliomba namba yangu ili ikiwezekana niwe nampa lifti siku moja moja hasa nyakati za asubuhi na jioni. Siku hiyo Jioni alinipigia simu kuniuliza kama nimetoka kazini ili nimsaidie lift. Bahati nzuri nilikuwa karibu kutoka ofcn, akaopt kunisubiri. On ourway home Aliniuliza ninaishi na nani, nikamjibu na wadogo zangu na nina mchumba yupo hapahapa Bongo ila hatuishi nae. Akasema yeye anaishi na mumewe na wana mototo mmoja wa miaka minne, mumewe ni mtu wa kusafiri sana safari za mikoani. Lakini Kuanzia hiyo j’tano she keep on trying to be close to me, also she asked my weekend plans. I managed to avoid meeting with her this weekend but I’m not sure if my strength to avoid her forever will persist longer coz she is so cute. Sina uhakika kama anataka mahusiano lakini ni ngumu kumkatalia akitaka. The way she talk, the way she look, the way she ask, her figure Uhhhhh! dud Nifanyeje na huyu mtu? Leo nilipanga sinta mpa-lift sikupokea hata simu yake asubuhi lakini nilipofika kituoni ikawa kama mbwa mbele ya chatu.

kimbia laaana hiyo inakujongea usije kufa na wake za watu tu.

 

[MVUMBUZI]

Ndugu yangu unajitafutia matatizo. Mkimbie. Ama ukishindwa hakikisha ukiwa nae out mchumba wako nae awepo

Mkuu jaribu kujizuia achana na mke wa mtu. Hebu jiweke kwenye nafasi ya mumewe je ungejisikiaje ? usiyopenda kufanyiwa sasa au baadaye epuka kuwafanyia wenzio.

Tena ikiwezekana ili kuepuka hiyo hali acha kumpa lift mara kwa mara asiendelee kukuzoea na weka clear demarcation kwamba mipaka yako inaishia tu kwenye msaada wa lift na si vinginevyo. Hii itakusaidia kutokuwa na guilt kubwa hapo badaye kwani ukienda tu extra mail utajikuta unajuta sana huko mbeleni.

 

[Rutashubanyuma]

Nilimpa lift jumatano asubuhi wiki iliyopita. Anasoma chuo cha usimamizi wa hotel. Aliomba namba yangu ili ikiwezekana niwe nampa lifti siku moja moja hasa nyakati za asubuhi na jioni. Siku hiyo Jioni alinipigia simu kuniuliza kama nimetoka kazini ili nimsaidie lift. Bahati nzuri nilikuwa karibu kutoka ofcn, akaopt kunisubiri. On ourway home Aliniuliza ninaishi na nani, nikamjibu na wadogo zangu na nina mchumba yupo hapahapa Bongo ila hatuishi nae. Akasema yeye anaishi na mumewe na wana mototo mmoja wa miaka minne, mumewe ni mtu wa kusafiri sana safari za mikoani. Lakini Kuanzia hiyo j’tano she keep on trying to be close to me, also she asked my weekend plans. I managed to avoid meeting with her this weekend but I’m not sure if my strength to avoid her forever will persist longer coz she is so cute. Sina uhakika kama anataka mahusiano lakini ni ngumu kumkatalia akitaka. The way she talk, the way she look, the way she ask, her figure Uhhhhh! dud Nifanyeje na huyu mtu? Leo nilipanga sinta mpa-lift sikupokea hata simu yake asubuhi lakini nilipofika kituoni ikawa kama mbwa mbele ya chatu.

kwako suala kubwa ni ngono lakini ulikwisha kujiuliza na yeye suala kubwa kwake kutoka kwako ni nini?

ukiweza kulijibu hilo basi utakimbia kama swala......................

 

[Masikini_Jeuri]

Aaa mwayego..............yaani unakuja tuuliza kama umege tundi au la? wakati ushamega na sasa unajutia baada ya utamu kukukolea.............on behalf of mweyekiti wa infidelators nakuatakuai ulaji mwema! disregard my previous warning!

 

[BPM]

maamuzi ni yako na unaelewa ufanyacho .. hapa jamvini unaomba ushauli wa watu kukuunga mkono mawazo yako??? je ni lazima kumpa lift kila siku ? kama unaona atakusumbua kutana nae ukiwa na mchumbako hiyo itamfanya awe mbali lakini kama unajaribu kulinganisha na mchumbako hapo ni ngumu maana umetoa nyongeza ambayo inakuvutia huko kuliko kwa mchumba wako

 

[Kaizer]

Aaa mwayego..............yaani unakuja tuuliza kama umege tundi au la? wakati ushamega na sasa unajutia baada ya utamu kukukolea.............on behalf of mweyekiti wa infidelators nakuatakuai ulaji mwema! disregard my previous warning!

Inauma sana aisee

 

[Masikini_Jeuri]

Kaizer uko wapi aisee? Hebu ka do ze nidful kuleeeeeeee pliz

 

[menyidyo]

Tafuta wakwako wewe bwegee

 

[mbongopopo]

Kwa kweli tamaa itakuliza anaweza akawa ana virusi etc

Lazima ameshakuona muda mwingi

Duh naija kuna magum sijui kama ipo kitu kama icho bongo unaweza nasa au chukua laana ukaaribu maisha yako etc

Vumilia achana nae. Muonyeshe una mchumba mbebe siku moja ukiwa nae ataacha kukufata

 

[Ulimakafu]

Utakuja kufa wewe,utoto unakusumbua.

 

[Lonestriker]

Go ahead...kula then utalipa later ila usisahau mshahara wa dhambi tena ya uzinzi huwa ni kubwa sana kuliko dhambi yenyewe...

 

[BPM]

Kwa kweli tamaa itakuliza anaweza akawa ana virusi etc

Lazima ameshakuona muda mwingi

Duh naija kuna magum sijui kama ipo kitu kama icho bongo unaweza nasa au chukua laana ukaaribu maisha yako etc

Vumilia achana nae. Muonyeshe una mchumba mbebe siku moja ukiwa nae ataacha kukufata

umenena kwani vya rahisi vinagharimu .. ukimwi unakuita .... jiulize kwani huyo mumeo hachakachui huko mikoani

 

[AZIMIO]

Huyo ni shetani,kuepuka nae sali salaam Maria mara tano na Baba yetu mara tano.kisha nenda kazini na umwache kumpa lifti utaona nguvu ya sala inavyofanya kazi.