STRESS FREE: Vichekesho on fleak! Weka na cha kwako hapa tufurahi

STRESS FREE: Vichekesho on fleak! Weka na cha kwako hapa tufurahi

Extrovert said:
Wanawake wengi mna dramas mpaka sio poa, wife huwa ananikera na ghubu lake sana ikafikia stage nikawa naona nateseka nae tu hamna raha, Juzi kati nikapata kasafari ka almost siku 5 mbali na bibie nikauchuna no contact. Siku narudi amenimiss mbaya ananambia alikuwa anakonda hana mtu wa kumsumbua, nikajikuta nafurahi tu anaanzisha mechi siku 3 mfululizo na kupikiwa vitu special hadi nikashangaa.
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Hahahaha doh hadi raha[emoji23][emoji23]
 
Arabian queen said:
MSIKIE UYU MTOTO ANASEMA NINI[emoji23]

Mtoto wa miaka sita alimuuliza babake:
MTOTO: Baa, eti sisi wanadamu tulikuja vipi
duniani?
BABA: Mungu alimuumba Nabii Adam na Hawa.
Kisha wao wakaanza kuzaa watoto na watoto
wakazaa mpaka tukazaliwa sisi. (Mtoto hakuridhika
akamfuta mamake)
MTOTO: Mma, eti sisi wanadamu tulikuja vipi
duniani?
MAMA: Wanasayansi wamesema sisi tulitokana na
manyani baadae tukawa binadamu. (Mtoto akarudi
kwa baba)
MTOTO: Baa mbona mama ansema sisi tulikuwa
manyani mwanzo?Au wanidanganya?
BABA: Mwanangu, mimi nimekuelezea kuhusu ukoo
wetu. Mamako amekuelezea kuhusu ukoo wao[emoji23][emoji23][emoji124][emoji124][emoji124]
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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Arabian queen said:
Angalia huyu bibi alivyomfanyia huyu jamaa

Bibi na Babu walisafiri wakielekea kwa mtoto wao ambae hawajamuona zamani.

Walipofika njiani wakawa wamechoka Sanaa. Wakaamua kutafuta hotel ili walale.

Wakakubaliana walale kwa masaa 4. Wakalala, Walipoamka, mfanyakazi wa Hotel akawatoza Tsh. 500,000/=

Wale wazee wakashangaa hata kama ni hotel ya kisasa lakini sio laki tano kwa masaa 4.

Babu akagoma kulipa akasema aitiwe meneja.

Meneja akaja kuwasikiliza

Babu: " Kwanini bili ni kubwa hata kama ni hotel ya kisasa?"

Manager;"kuna maswiming puli, ya kisasa "

Babu; "Lakini hatukuyatumia"

Manager; "Ah ah ah. Lakini mungeweza kama mngetaka"

Babu: "Hata hivo bado haithamini kuwa laki 5"

meneja: "Pia Kuna waimbaji kutoka sauzi, Uganda , Congo"

Babu: "Lakini sisi hatukuwasikiliza"

Meneja: "Ndiooo. Lakini mngeweza kama mngetaka"

Babu; aka give up na kumwambia mkewe andika cheki uwape,,

Bibi akaandika akampa meneja.

Meneja anaangalia anaona sh. 50,000

Akashangaa na kusema. "VP mbona hamsini'"

Bibi akajibu "450,000 ya kulala na mimi"

Meneja akajibu; "Lakini sijalala"

Bibi :"ungeweza kama ungetaka"[emoji38][emoji38]
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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] mpaka machoz
 
Arabian queen said:
[emoji23] Mume alichomjibu mchepuko wa mke wake[emoji818]

_[emoji41] Jamaa kamuaga mkewe anaenda semina Songea kwa wiki nzima kumbe kahamia kwa demu nyumba ya pili toka kwake. Siku ya 1 kalala asubuhi alipoamka kachungulia kwake kukoje,

si kamuona jamaa yuko nje ya nyumba yake kavaa taulo lake anapiga mswaki. Akapiga kelele, 'We nani?', Jamaa akajibu, 'Mshikaji mambo ya mjini, mume wa huyu demu kasafiri kaenda Songea mi ndo najivinjari hapa'. Mume kajibu kwa uchungu, Shenzi mkubwa, ngoja nirudi toka Songea nakuua.[emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]_

*Mniache mimi sipendi Ujinga Ujinga [emoji125]�[emoji125]�[emoji125]�[emoji125]
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Hahaaha[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Arabian queen said:
MAPENZI NI MATAMU ILA ACHA KIHEREHERE..

Ama hakika mapenzi ni matamu sana ukimpata akupendaye mkashibana. Kumjali mpenzi wako ni jambo la msingi sana lakini ni vizuri kuepuka kuwa na kiherehe sana. Jamaa mmoja alijikuta taabani mara baada ya kumkurupukia mpenzi wake.

Jamaa mmoja alikuwa na demu wake ambaye alikuwa anamjali sana kwa kila kitu. Yule demu alikuwa kila anachotaka jamaa anatoa. Kwa ufupi jmaa alikuwa anamjali sana demu wake.

Siku moja kama kawaida jamaa aliamka asubuhi na kuchukua simu yake kisha akampigia mpenzi wake wa moyo.

Jamaa: Mambo baby umeamkaje?
Demu: Siko poa sana…
Jamaa: Nini mbaya mpenzi?
Demu: Nina mimba halafu sikupanga iwe sasa!
Jamaa: Khaaa! Mbona tulikuwa tunatumia kinga umepataje?
Demu: Kani nani kasema ya kwako?

Hivi navyooongea jamaa kakimbizwa Muhimbili kazimia kwa mshtuko! Kweli mapenzi ni matamu! Ungekuwa wewe ungefanyaje aisee?[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
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JAMAA,,, hapa ni kituo cha polic???,,,,[emoji67]‍[emoji439]FFU, ，ｎｄｉｙｏ tukusaidie nini????JAMAA,, mimi ni kipofu[emoji58],,,,, [emoji67]‍[emoji439]FFU,,,sasa unataka tukununulie macho[emoji102]!!???? JAMAA,,,hapana� nataka nifanye fujo ili nione[emoji15],,,, [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 
Dawa ya kiburi, jeuri tu.

*Mke:* Naelekea london, nikuletee zawadi gani?
*Mume:* kitu gani unaweza niletea wewe?
*Mke:* we omba Alafu utaona.
*Mume:* Niletee msichana wa kizungu.
*Mke:* (mke akaenda London na kurudi)
*Mume:* zawadi yangu iko wapi?
*Mke*: Subiri ndani ya miezi 9!!!!
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji12][emoji85]

*Pia Wamama hawapendi ujinga*
 
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mtunzasiri said:
*Jamani makubwa haya!*
Niko zangu home nimetulia, mara naskia jamaa Anasema ; *Nauza* *vifuniko* *vya* *asali*
Nimetoka nje kuangalia kumbe anauza
*chupi* na *sidiria*
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
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[emoji23]
 
Arabian queen said:
Ushawahi kwenda kwny duka la Muhindi ukakuta yuko na kile kidot cha red [emoji837] usoni kwny komwe, basi Mkiongea unaona kama anakurecord..??!
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
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[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] ngoja nikajaribu kariakoo
 
Arabian queen said:
Dawa ya kiburi, jeuri tu.

*Mke:* Naelekea london, nikuletee zawadi gani?
*Mume:* kitu gani unaweza niletea wewe?
*Mke:* we omba Alafu utaona.
*Mume:* Niletee msichana wa kizungu.
*Mke:* (mke akaenda London na kurudi)
*Mume:* zawadi yangu iko wapi?
*Mke*: Subiri ndani ya miezi 9!!!!
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji12][emoji85]

*Pia Wamama hawapendi ujinga*
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A-aaa mfano huo my Queen....
 
Watanzania mna ka wivu fulani ka asili yani mtu umeme ukikatika lazima atoke nje kuangalia kama na kwa jirani umekatika
Kwanini lakini?[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]
 
alibakari said:
Watanzania mna ka wivu fulani ka asili yani mtu umeme ukikatika lazima atoke nje kuangalia kama na kwa jirani umekatika
Kwanini lakini?[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]
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Hahaha, [emoji4] [emoji4]
 
alibakari said:
Avatar yako hiyo[emoji39] [emoji39] dadeki stimu zimekata ghafla[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji125]
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[emoji16] [emoji16] [emoji16] kwa nini mkuu?
 
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