Tetesi: Eti hatuko naye tena?

Mungu nisaidie nisikutwe na haya madudu wabariki wanandoa wote pia

The Mockingjay said:

It would take a strong woman to not settle for less. Kuna sababu mbalimbali zinafanya kina mama to be trapped in a bad or abusive relationship:

1. Wanaweza wakawa wanawapenda sana waume zao. Too much that they become dumb. Their happiness depend on this man. Hawa wanawake hata waambiweje na kushauriwaje hawashauriki. Mfano ni binti mpole hapo juu aliyelazimishwa na familia yake atoke kwa bwana but bado akawa anarudi kwa kujificha. This could happen to any woman.
2. Wanawake wengine wana settle for less kwa sababu ya maslahi. Maisha bora, Gari nzuri, nyumba ya kifahari, watoto kwenda IST, etc. Hawa ni wanawake on a mission. They don't give a danm where the husband spends the night. Ndio wale utasikia hata kwenye tendo la ndoa wao usoma gazeti wakati mme anamaliza mahitaji yake. Hawa wanawake huwaacha waume zao pale waume wakifilisika.
3. Kuna wanawake wengine wanaprotect image, they feel society will view them as a failure if they get divorced. Kuna mfano wa wamama mawaziri not able kutoa talaka ingawa wanauwezo wa kujitegemea. Hii inaweza kuwa ni image protection.

All in all tuombe Mungu atuepushe from bad relationship, everyone deserves a happily ever after.

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Bonge la point, nni kweli kabisa na hii kufikiri jamii itanionaje itatufikisha pabaya, ila bado nahisi uvumilivu unahitajika zaidi.ndio maana kwenye nasaha za harusi hili neno halikosekani

Nyie acheni kabisa! Baba yangu nimeshuhudia nikiwa na akili timamu na ndugu zangu wakubwa kabisa analeta wanawake wa kila aina ndani akitoka kwenye pombe zake. Mpaka kuna siku tuliamua kumtembezea kichapo kimada tulijificha baba kapeleka gari garage kupark kumbe majamaa tumebana kwenye maua wacha tumpe kipigo mdada. Mbona alimrudisha bila kumwingiza ndani na hakutufanya chochote. Yaani yeye mama akisafiri shughuli ni moja kuleta vimada ndani.
Sasa hapo sijuhi mtam judge vipi huyu mzee wangu! Kuna wanaume as long as wife hayuko ndani kimada anatia timu tu tena wengi. Wengine ndi hivyo wanatembea na ma housegirl, au nao wanawapeleka ma house girl guest?

EMT said:

B'se nafikiri ni wewe Nyumba Kubwa au mdau mwingine amesema huko nyuma kuwa pamoja na kuwa wanaume wanacheat bado huwa wanawapenda wake zao aka nyumba kubwa. So, mpaka mpaka aje a-cheat kwenye kitanda chenu wakati wewe umelala chumba cha watoto ndio kukupenda huko? Of course whether ni kwenye guest or kwenye matrimonial home haimake difference kwenye cheating lakini implications ni kubwa.

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EMT said:

B'se nafikiri ni wewe Nyumba Kubwa au mdau mwingine amesema huko nyuma kuwa pamoja na kuwa wanaume wanacheat bado huwa wanawapenda wake zao aka nyumba kubwa. So, mpaka mpaka aje a-cheat kwenye kitanda chenu wakati wewe umelala chumba cha watoto ndio kukupenda huko? Of course whether ni kwenye guest or kwenye matrimonial home haimake difference kwenye cheating lakini implications ni kubwa.

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Tena kuna wengine wanawapenda mpaka kimada anatamani kulia, kila saa nyamaza naongea na wife.. ni basi tu kucheat wanacheat ila mawazo home kwa wake zao

I totally agree with you maana wewe ujifanye una hasira sana eti wasikia mumeo ana affair badala ya ku fight kumrudisha kwenye mstari unaamua kwenda kwenu. Mbona kimada atashukuru maana ndio sala zake kila siku uondoke yeye apate promotion. Aisee mimi napigana mpaka tone la mwisho simwachi mume wangu kirahisi aisee. Najua wako wengi kitaani wanamkodolea hubby wanatamani kuni replace kwa hiyo sidanganyiki.

BlackBerry said:

Tena kuna wengine wanawapenda mpaka kimada anatamani kulia, kila saa nyamaza naongea na wife.. ni basi tu kucheat wanacheat ila mawazo home kwa wake zao

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BlackBerry said:

Tena kuna wengine wanawapenda mpaka kimada anatamani kulia, kila saa nyamaza naongea na wife.. ni basi tu kucheat wanacheat ila mawazo home kwa wake zao

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Duh sasa hapo mtu unasikia raha kweli hadi unaambiwa nyamaza niongee na waif! au ndio kubadilisha mboga kunampoza

Kwani hujuhi kuwa in most case hawa wame zetu wanakuwa wanataka one night stand ila vimada wanawaganda. Kwa hiyo kwa kuwa umemng'ang'ania jamaa na keshakwambia nina mke ninae mpenda ndio hapo anaanza masharti bila kukuonea haya; utasikia marufuku kunipigia simu ntapiga mimi, usinitafute nitakutafuta mimi, mara siku ukitangaza kwa watu juu ya uhusiano wetu ndio mwisho, sitaki mtoto n.k.

Gaga said:

Duh sasa hapo mtu unasikia raha kweli hadi unaambiwa nyamaza niongee na waif! au ndio kubadilisha mboga kunampoza

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nyumba kubwa said:

To me cheating ni cheating iwe kwenye gari, ofisini, kanisani, guest, kitandani kwetu, safarini. Sasa swala la kusamehe au kutosamehe alina uhusiano na tendo limefanyika wapi.
Maana ni sawa na kusema wanao tumia guest kucheat ni good cheaters (hawajakubuhu) compared to wanaotumia vyumba vyao?

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Kweli cheating is cheating no matter what but to others may be harder for them to forgive someone who did that to their family. Wengine wanasema cheating is even worse where children are involved b'se kwa wazazi wengine wanapokuwa cheated wanachukulia kuwa watoto nao wakuwa-cheated. Pia wapo watoto who would live the rest of their lives thinking their dads cheated on them and their mothers. Hata inapofika wakati wa kuolewa wanasita thinking that they will be cheated as well. This situation may even be worse kama cheating ilifanyika within the matrimonial home while the mother was seeking refuge in the kids room.

Kuhusiana na suala kuwa kusamehe au kutosamehe halina uhusiano na tendo limefanyika wapi, simply indicates that men and women are from different worlds. Kwa mwanaume kama akikuletea mwanamke na kumpeleka moja kwa moja kitandani mwenu wakati mama mwenye nyumba ameseek refuge chumba cha watoto, it simply means that mama fungasha aanza. Yaani hapo suala la kusamehe au kutosame halipo tena b'se hiyo sio cheating tena bali amehalalisha, depending on the forces behind of course.

Lakini nilichonote kwenye hii debate ni kwamba, kwa baadhi ya wachangiaji, cheating is a deal breaker. Kwa wengine it is something that can actually be worked through and left in the past (truly worked through - not just ignored). But the truth is that each relationship is different. Kama alivyosema mdau mmoja hapo juu watu wanaanzisha uhusiano au kuoana kwa sababu mbalimbali. So we can't make blanket answers to questions like this unless we the reasons behind forming the relationship. Consequently, whether cheating is a deal breaker or can actually worked through, is very subjective.

It was a healthy and informative discussion. Nawatakia Pasaka njema.

Gaga said:

Duh sasa hapo mtu unasikia raha kweli hadi unaambiwa nyamaza niongee na waif! au ndio kubadilisha mboga kunampoza

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Gaga

Kuna raha gani hapo? Kwa staili cheating itaendelea kuwepo provided that nyumba kubwa itaendelea kuwa kubwa na nyumba ndogo ndogo.

EMT said:

Gaga

Kuna raha gani hapo? Kwa staili cheating itaendelea kuwepo provided that nyumba kubwa itaendelea kuwa kubwa na nyumba ndogo ndogo.

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Hakuna raha kama nilivyouliza hao! sanasana huyo nyumba ndogo atakuwa anakuwa emotionally abused, nyumba kubwa haijui huu uhusiano

nyumba kubwa said:

Kwani hujuhi kuwa in most case hawa wame zetu wanakuwa wanataka one night stand ila vimada wanawaganda. Kwa hiyo kwa kuwa umemng'ang'ania jamaa na keshakwambia nina mke ninae mpenda ndio hapo anaanza masharti bila kukuonea haya; utasikia marufuku kunipigia simu ntapiga mimi, usinitafute nitakutafuta mimi, mara siku ukitangaza kwa watu juu ya uhusiano wetu ndio mwisho, sitaki mtoto n.k.

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Na wakipata hii nafasi wanajituma vilivyo, hapo ndio mtu anaanza kuchanganyikiwa

Mume wa mtu mtamu kuna hako kamsemo jamani kana ukweli au mzinguo tu

EMT said:

Nani amwoe halafu akafumaliwe live?

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Hivi ni wangapi wanaoangalia hizo you tube za aina hiyo?

Gaga said:

Ni ushauri tu mbaya alipata Michell, nawajua na kuwafamu sana narudia ila tu ushauri mbaya umemfanya afanye yale, usicheze na hasira zile za wivu, kafanya kila njia ilishindikana mtu kutulia, sijasaport alichofanya ila ni katika hali ya kutapatapa tu, Mume yule ni mlevi kupindukia mpaka alisimamishwa kazini, pia huko Salma alienda kumfukuzisha? alikuwa mfanyakazi mzuri tu TRA huyo majid ni hulka yake kubadilisha mabibi kumpiga sana mkewe. Nafikiri akili yake ilifikia mwisho kabisa wa kufikiria, imagine mume anajua sababu amegombana na mkewe jana yake kwa vile amezoea akigombana nae anaondoka home, basi ndio alete mwanamke ndani kumbe mkewe kalala kwa watoto, hapo unaweza hata kuua na usifungwe, pale utakaloamua ni si akili yako, mueleweni tu wajameni. ndoa hizi si mchezo mamii

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Hata mumeo,mama yako wala baba yako huwafahamu sana....narudia usitetee nafsi ya binadamu mwenzio...jibu maswali nayokuuliza hapo chini alafu uniambie ungekuwa lets say investigator au mpelelezi au unasikiliza hii kesi ufanye uamuzi kama usingemfanya huyu mama SUSPECT na baadaye GUILTY wa kifo cha mumewe....

1.usicheze na hasira zile za wivu, kafanya kila njia ilishindikana mtu kutulia....kila njia?? inaweza include any attempt to get rid of him kuhofia consequence za tabia za mumewe....this shows how desperate she was kiasi kwamba angeweza kufanya lolote lile including kumuua...

2.Mume yule ni mlevi wa kupindukia na alishafukuzwa kazi....kwa mama anayekiri hawezi ondoka nyumbani pamoja na mateso yote aliyoapata na wewe umekiri katumia kila njia imeshindikana na aliyeiita waandishi wa habari kumfumania mumewe ambaye pia alikuwa mgonjwa....hii inaweza kuwa na maana kuwa he was useless...presence yake kwenye maisha ya yule mama haina maana sana na bora asiwepo,liwalo na liwe...kwa sasa anageuka mzigo kwa mama na familia

3.Nafikiri akili yake ilifikia mwisho kabisa wa kufikiria....akili ikifika mwisho wa kufikiria....mtu aweza fanya lolote hata kujiua mwenyewe...kwa kuwa anajipenda yeye sana na mali alizosema hawezi ziacha na familia pengine aliona au alishauriwa aue taratibu na akakubali na kwa kuwa akili yake ilikuwa ilishafika mwisho alikubali

4.hapo unaweza hata kuua na usifungwe, pale utakaloamua ni si akili yako, mueleweni tu wajameni. ndoa hizi si mchezo mamii....ndo maana nilikuambia usitetee nafsi isiyo yako unless wewe ndo ulimfumania mumeo....wewe ungekuwa shahidi mahakamani ukaja kusema haya...lazima huyu mama angefungwa jela miaka ya kumtosha....in a way umekiri kwa namna ya kumtetea huyu mama kuwa yawezekana kabisa alifanya hivi.....nakuomba Gaga usiwe shahidi kwenye kesi usizozijua!

With all these evidence am sure the suspect is now under arrest.

Michelle said:

Hata mumeo,mama yako wala baba yako huwafahamu sana....narudia usitetee nafsi ya binadamu mwenzio...jibu maswali nayokuuliza hapo chini alafu uniambie ungekuwa lets say investigator au mpelelezi au unasikiliza hii kesi ufanye uamuzi kama usingemfanya huyu mama SUSPECT na baadaye GUILTY wa kifo cha mumewe....

1.usicheze na hasira zile za wivu, kafanya kila njia ilishindikana mtu kutulia....kila njia?? inaweza include any attempt to get rid of him kuhofia consequence za tabia za mumewe....this shows how desperate she was kiasi kwamba angeweza kufanya lolote lile including kumuua...

2.Mume yule ni mlevi wa kupindukia na alishafukuzwa kazi....kwa mama anayekiri hawezi ondoka nyumbani pamoja na mateso yote aliyoapata na wewe umekiri katumia kila njia imeshindikana na aliyeiita waandishi wa habari kumfumania mumewe ambaye pia alikuwa mgonjwa....hii inaweza kuwa na maana kuwa he was useless...presence yake kwenye maisha ya yule mama haina maana sana na bora asiwepo,liwalo na liwe...kwa sasa anageuka mzigo kwa mama na familia

3.Nafikiri akili yake ilifikia mwisho kabisa wa kufikiria....akili ikifika mwisho wa kufikiria....mtu aweza fanya lolote hata kujiua mwenyewe...kwa kuwa anajipenda yeye sana na mali alizosema hawezi ziacha na familia pengine aliona au alishauriwa aue taratibu na akakubali na kwa kuwa akili yake ilikuwa ilishafika mwisho alikubali

4.hapo unaweza hata kuua na usifungwe, pale utakaloamua ni si akili yako, mueleweni tu wajameni. ndoa hizi si mchezo mamii....ndo maana nilikuambia usitetee nafsi isiyo yako unless wewe ndo ulimfumania mumeo....wewe ungekuwa shahidi mahakamani ukaja kusema haya...lazima huyu mama angefungwa jela miaka ya kumtosha....in a way umekiri kwa namna ya kumtetea huyu mama kuwa yawezekana kabisa alifanya hivi.....nakuomba Gaga usiwe shahidi kwenye kesi usizozijua!

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nyumba kubwa said:

With all these evidence am sure the suspect is now under arrest.

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Sarcasm???Michelle has a point...ingekua nchi makini mwanaume angeweza kufanyiwa autopsy na wakakuta walichodhani kimemuua sicho!Tukubali kwamba kuna uwezekano yapo tusiyoyajua!

nyumba kubwa said:

With all these evidence am sure the suspect is now under arrest.

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?????? si condemnation tena? manake nilisema kule mwanzo ukasema these were strong condemnation unless i have evidence.....??

Lizzy said:

Sarcasm???Michelle has a point...ingekua nchi makini mwanaume angeweza kufanyiwa autopsy na wakakuta walichodhani kimemuua sicho!Tukubali kwamba kuna uwezekano yapo tusiyoyajua!

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Thanks dearest....i care less if its sarcasm or not...watu wana akili za kukubali kila kitu kilivyo bila kujiuliza maswali....hawasumbui akili hata kidogo...ndo maana wengine wanaishia kufungwa kwa kesi za kipumbavu na statement zisizotumia akili....😛layball:

Michelle said:

Hata mumeo,mama yako wala baba yako huwafahamu sana....narudia usitetee nafsi ya binadamu mwenzio...jibu maswali nayokuuliza hapo chini alafu uniambie ungekuwa lets say investigator au mpelelezi au unasikiliza hii kesi ufanye uamuzi kama usingemfanya huyu mama SUSPECT na baadaye GUILTY wa kifo cha mumewe....

1.usicheze na hasira zile za wivu, kafanya kila njia ilishindikana mtu kutulia....kila njia?? inaweza include any attempt to get rid of him kuhofia consequence za tabia za mumewe....this shows how desperate she was kiasi kwamba angeweza kufanya lolote lile including kumuua...

2.Mume yule ni mlevi wa kupindukia na alishafukuzwa kazi....kwa mama anayekiri hawezi ondoka nyumbani pamoja na mateso yote aliyoapata na wewe umekiri katumia kila njia imeshindikana na aliyeiita waandishi wa habari kumfumania mumewe ambaye pia alikuwa mgonjwa....hii inaweza kuwa na maana kuwa he was useless...presence yake kwenye maisha ya yule mama haina maana sana na bora asiwepo,liwalo na liwe...kwa sasa anageuka mzigo kwa mama na familia

3.Nafikiri akili yake ilifikia mwisho kabisa wa kufikiria....akili ikifika mwisho wa kufikiria....mtu aweza fanya lolote hata kujiua mwenyewe...kwa kuwa anajipenda yeye sana na mali alizosema hawezi ziacha na familia pengine aliona au alishauriwa aue taratibu na akakubali na kwa kuwa akili yake ilikuwa ilishafika mwisho alikubali

4.hapo unaweza hata kuua na usifungwe, pale utakaloamua ni si akili yako, mueleweni tu wajameni. ndoa hizi si mchezo mamii....ndo maana nilikuambia usitetee nafsi isiyo yako unless wewe ndo ulimfumania mumeo....wewe ungekuwa shahidi mahakamani ukaja kusema haya...lazima huyu mama angefungwa jela miaka ya kumtosha....in a way umekiri kwa namna ya kumtetea huyu mama kuwa yawezekana kabisa alifanya hivi.....nakuomba Gaga usiwe shahidi kwenye kesi usizozijua!

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Huu ni mtazamo tu si halisia, na kwa mtazamo huu unaona yule dada ndio kasababisha au yule baba amesababisha huyo mama asababishe?

Michelle said:

Thanks dearest....i care less if its sarcasm or not...watu wana akili za kukubali kila kitu kilivyo bila kujiuliza maswali....hawasumbui akili hata kidogo...ndo maana wengine wanaishia kufungwa kwa kesi za kipumbavu na statement zisizotumia akili....😛layball:

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Tunaridhika kirahisi sana dearest...inaweza kua ni uvivu wa kuchimba na kuchambua mambo!