Ulishawahi kula tunda kimasihara?

[The Monk]

Rematch na Nyansoo haikuwa kimasihara, hata kwa Sue pia. Ndiyo maana sijaweka hapa.

James Jason

Amucha

 

[yellow eyes]

Baharia unataka kutuambia now unakula mtoto na mama yake. Manake kwa ulivoelezea uhusiano wako na Rona sio rahisi kuachana. Itakua bado mnabanduana.
Great writing though. Mtu unaecompete nae kwa uhandishi humu ni yule JBourne, mhenga aliepiga bao 12 usiku mmoja

Alikomea nane nadhan umesahau kidogo mkuu, alishindwa kuzifikisha 12 ila demu alikubali shoo ya mwamba

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[torvic]

nimekula tunda kimasihara

hii ilikua kipindi kifupi baada ya kuingia jf na kusoma uzi wa mkuu rikiboy "ushawai kula tunda kimasihara?" baada ya kuupitia pitia huo uzi nikaomuona mdada mmoja wa jf kakomenti eti sijui akumbuki mara ya mwisho kukojoleshwa ni lini, nikareply komenti yake mm naweza kukukojolesha mara 10 ndani ya lisaa

amuezi kuamini baada ya reply iyo nikaona bi dada kajaa kweny PM yangu anauliza unaeza nikojolesha kweli weww? kishoka nikajiuliza uyu msichana ananipima imani au yupo real?kimasihara na mm nikamjibu naweza, mara akataka tuonane uku kichwani siamini kama kweli anataka kukojoleshwa

nikamwambia kama unataka kukutana na mimi jua unakuja straight ninapo ishi maana mimi sipendi kuzurula zurula kwaiyo nikamuelekeza tu mtaani napo ishi, apo adi tunafika hatua iyo uyu mdada alitoa ma digits take ya simu mwenye pale kweny ubao wa pm, wakuuu! ilikua ajabu na kweli mdada wa jf ananiambia anaanza safari kuja mtaani napo ishi ili akojozwe, mara baada ya kama lisaa na dakika kama 50 hivi anipigia simu yupo kituoni niende kumchukua, kweli mdau nikatoka casual tu na unyunyu kwa mbali nikafika adi kituona nikamuona, uyu msichana ana sura nzuri kivilee lakin mkia wazee! tako alikua nalo lakutosha tu

tu cut the story, tukafika getto na mtu alikua amezamilia na amekuja kwa lengo la kukojozwaa nikamuuliza ndo umekuja kweli kwasababu iyo? akawa anacheka tu, na mm kwenye sheria zangu za mchezo mtoto akicheka cheka bila sababu huwa naanza kufanya yangu aste aste! nikaanza kufanya yangu wenyew wanasema ufundi kitandani sio maguvu kujikwamua, nimbonyeza mtoto wa watu kimasihara kabisa! lakin kiukweli nilimkojoza mara mbili tu hahah!

Asantw sana jf, asante sana rikiboy kwa uzi wako nikula apple kimasiahara kabisaa yani

bi dada kama utaiona hii komenti samahani! nimeona wadau wanatiririka sana na shuhuda zao adi nimepata wivu

 

[Military Genius]

Hahahahaaa here we gooooooo!

Nimepata likizo ya kikazi na kuamua kurudi home kwa wazazi kuja kuwajulia hali baada ya mwaka mzima wa kutoonana.

Hapo mtaani ikatokea nikazoeana na msela mmoja ambae anamiliki stationery, kuna time nikawa naenda pale stationery kwake kupiga stori, mpaka ikatokea nikazoeana na baadhi ya wateja wake wa mara kwa mara.

KULA KIMASIHARA ILIVYOANZA

Mida ya mchana alikuja mteja mmoja wa kike ambae tulishazoeana, ni binti mwenye msambwanda wa kutosha, kimo kirefu na macho malegevu.

Jamaa yangu wa stationery aliwahi kuniambia anavyomzimia huyo binti na anatamani amtafune.

Sasa binti alivyofika, akampa jamaa kazi ya kutype, kisha akaketi kuisubiria huku tukipiga stori za hapa na pale. Binti alionyesha kila dalili za kumzimia yule mshikaji, mimi nikawa nachombeza na tumaneno tudogotudogo kumsukumia zigo jamaa ili lengo lake la kumtafuna litimie.

Binti akamuuliza mshikaji, hivi unapenda wanawake wa aina gani? Jamaa akajibu sifa tofauti na alizokuwanazo binti.

Usoni binti nikamuona jinsi alivyojishushua mwenyewe kimoyomoyo. Akakata stori na kupiga kimya. Jamaa akaendelea kutype.

Nikavunja ukimya na kuongea na binti, nikasema "Ile nguo uliyovaa jana, ilinipa tabu sana, ungekuwa single kama mimi, ningekutongoza"

Nikweli jana alivaa nguo ya mpira, so na ule msambwanda, ilikuwa balaa.

Baada ya kumwambia hivyo, binti akatabasamu na kusema inaelekea upo tofauti sana na huyu zuzu hapa, huku akimpiga ngumi ya bega yule mshikaji anaetype. Wote tukacheka, kisha binti akaniambia, naona uvivu kwenda dukani kule kuchukua vocha, Una 2000 kwenye simu?
Nikajibu ndio
Unatumia mtandao gani?
Tigo na Voda
Nitumie muda wa maongezi wa 2000 kwenye tigo.
Akanitajia namba yake nikamrushia, akafunua cover la simu alikuwa ameweka elfu 12, akanipa 2000 stori zikaendelea mpaka kazi yake ilipoisha kutaipiwa na kuprintiwa akaaga na kuondoka.
Baharia nikasave namba yake ile ya tigo nikatulia.

KULA KIMASIHARA ILIVYOJITOKEZA
Siku hiyohiyo mida ya saa moja usiku nikiwa home naona text kutoka kwa yule mrembo, ukowapi?
Nikajibu "nakuja kwako, nielekeze"
Text inaingia, full direction.
Nikakurupuka chapuchapu, unyunyu nini, buti tatu, futa la maji(kama nikikuta k ni zile za kiangazi, namwaga futa nateleza), lesso, pitia dukani beba maji kubwa. Shoto kulia mpaka nikafika alikopanga, single room ina self.

Hodi, karibu. Nikaingia ndani, Binti ndani ya khanga moja, nikatanua mikono kuonyesha ishara ya kutaka kumkumbatia, akatabasamu na kuja kunikumbatia, mkono wa kulia nilikuwa nimeshika maji kubwa, so ukabaki juu juu mgongoni, huu wa kushoto ukashuka hadi kwenye lile tako ukatua ndiiii. Lahaula, zigo kubwa laini balaaa. Na nilibaini hata chupi alikuwa hajavaa. Tukiwa bado tumekumbatiana nikaanza kuyaminyaminya yale makalio kwa sekunde kazaa kabla sijaambiwa karibu uketi. Huku akijitoa kwenye lile kumbatio, nilichokifanya ni kuweka maji chini, nikamvuta tena kwangu na kuunganisha ndimi zetu, akaudaka ulimi wangu na wakati mwingine akanipa wa kwake, alitoa mihemo flani hivi ambayo ilizidi kunipa mzuka zaidi, mara tukajikuta tumedondokea kitandani, minyonyano ikaendelea, khanga tupa kule, nikavua tshirt yangu nikabaki kifua wazi, kucheki k kipara, nikapima oil na smell kwa kidole, nikakuta ni grade one, nikazama chumvini, ana simi kubwakubwa hivi, nyonya tekenya kwa dakika 20 hivi akamwaga maji mengi hivi huku akilalama unaniuaaa, miguu yake ilikuwa inatetema hatari, huku akiwa kainyanyua juu na kufanya mapaja yachezecheze wakati akitetema, sasa nikavua suruali na kuchukua buti kisha nikamuomba anipe doggy, bwana bwana, nani kasema vibonge hawapigi miunooooo. Piga tako za kutosha huku nikichagizwa na mneso wa matako yake laini na vilio vya mahaba. Ama kwa hakika binti alikuwa fundi mno. Ilinichukua dakika 15 kupiga doggy, nikamwambia aje nimpakate, nikakaa kwenye kitanda miguu chini, akaja kwa juu na kuendelea kupiga miuno, alivyolaini hata huhisi uzito aisee ni mustarehe tu. Uvumilivu ukakata baada ya dakika 15 nyingine baharia nikatia nanga.

Wote hoi, akaniambia nilikuita uje ule chakula nilichopika, wewe umeanza kula mpishi, haya ngoja nikupakulie sasa. Tukacheka, tukala wote msosi, kisha tukalana tena mara mbili zaidi, saba kasoro usiku huyo nikageuza kurudi home bila buti hata moja.

Kwa mimi kurudi mida hiyo home sio ajabu, wazee wanajua natoka kucheki mpira.

Nikaingia ndani, nikachukua chakula nilichowekewa nikazama nacho chumbani kwangu.

Kuanzia siku hiyo ikawa nimtafunano mpaka likizo ilipoisha na kurudi mkoani kuendelea na kazi.

Jamaa yangu wa stationery anasema binti kila akifika stationery anamwambia anamiss uwepo wangu pale, kwakuwa sikuwahi kumwambia kuwa nilimla basi nikamwambia kula zigo hilo ataacha kunizungumzia, ila moyoni nilijua hawezi kumpata kwa maana binti nilishamjaza sumu kuhusu yeye.


Hahahahahahaaaa
Iamokay
Negotiator out.



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kote patam ila apo kwenye kumtia sumu mchumba ili amtose muuni ndio ulipo arbu

@military_Genius

 

[iamokay]

kote patam ila apo kwenye kumtia sumu mchumba ili amtose muuni ndio ulipo arbu

@military_Genius

Ndio zetu mabeberu, hatutakagi kuwajua tunachangia nao.

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[jacjaz]

Ndo aliyekufa kwa kupungukiwa na damu mwaka 2017???hyness

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Akijibu namimi nishtue kaka. Minyororo ikatike

 

[Hance Mtanashati]

The continuing story of how I met my wife.

Ile life story ya boss Rona kwa kweli ilinihuzunisha sana, ikawa sasa namuona kwa jicho tofauti kidogo. Mwanzo ilikua tu someone I enjoy making love to, maana niwe muwazi, sio kuwa nilikua nimefall in love nae, lakini pia sio kuwa nlikua simpendi.

There is a way she made me feel that I really liked, and no woman before had made me feel. She made me lough, she made me happy, nlipenda namna anavyojiachia akiwa na mimi, sometimes akiwa kwangu hata kama hatufanyi mapenzi atavua nguo na kubaki na chupi na sidiria, atakaa hapo mnapiga story mara ainuke aanze kucheza mziki (hii style ya kucheza kwenye wimbo wa Rayvanny wa Teamo yeye alikua ananichezea kitambo sana) and most of all, I loved the way we made love.

Zimepita wiki kadhaa tangu anisimulie mkasa wa maisha yake, and to be honest I sometimes felt guilty. Yaani ile kujua kuwa ameolewa na KM ilikua inanipiss off sio kitoto. Ikanipa mawazo pia ya kutafuta mpenzi sasa ambaye atakuwa wangu mwenyewe. Lakini nani sasa. And kama nlivyowahi kusema, nlikua na standards zangu, yaani mpaka nimedate na msichana lazima akidhi vigezo vyangu.

Pale ofisini kuna dada nliajiriwa nae kipindi kimoja, kama mtakumbuka nlimtaja kwa jina lake la ubini Lyamuya. Lyamuya alikua sio mbaya ila ni wale wadada ambao kutwa kucha misketi mirefu kama mfuko wa mashine ya kusaga, akibadilisha ni magauni ya kumpwaya tena ya mtumba.

Kwa wanaume wanaotafuta wife material ladies, Lyamuya anafaa. Na kwa kuwa na mimi nlidhamiria kutafuta mwenzi wa maisha, nikasema ngoja nione kwake, huenda akanifaa. Ingawa kiukweli sio aina ya wanawake wanaonivutia kwa hurka yake na jinsi anavyojiweka, nilijipa tu moyo kuwa nitampiga sop sop nimbadilishe aendane na mm. maana sura walau alikua nayo.

Basi mazee, nikaanza kumpa attention ofisini, mara nimtanie, mara nimsifie, nikaanza kumpigia simu night, kumtumia msg za goodmorning. Hii yote nilifanya ili kwanza nimpe idea ya nnachotaka. Hata haikuchukua siku nyingi, nikaona yeye ndo anaanza kunipa attention sasa. Ila yeye alivyoanza kujaa kwa kasi, moyo wangu ukawa kama unaanza kurudisha majeshi nyuma, maana nlikua nikimuona alivyovaa stim zinakata kabisa.

One day muda wa lunch nakumbuka alisuggest tukale wote, wakati tunapata msosi nikajikuta nimecomment kuhusu pilau nliyokua nakula. Haikua imeiva vizuri. Basi Lyamuya akaunga mkono pale na kunialika kwake ili nikale pilau iliyoiva vizuri. Ngoja niwape siri wazee, demu akikualika kwake kwa sababu yoyote ile, hiyo ni mualiko wa kwenda kumbanjua, sasa kama na wewe umemuelewa demu, au unataka kweli kumla, wala usivunge kubaliana na siku na muda aliopendekeza. Ila kama huna mpango wa kumla, tafuta kisingizio cha kumkwepa hasa kutumia siku au muda aliosuggest. Kwa mfano kama humtaki sema tu kuwa jumapili kuna mshkaji nlimuahidi kumsaidia issue flani, then unasuggest jpili inayofuata. Hapa dem ataelewa kuwa amekataliwa kistaarabu. Turudi kwenye story sasa, kidogo nikwepe mwaliko, ila nikajikuta nimekubali kuwa jpili ntaenda kwake.

That Sunday nikapiga pamba safi, unyunyu kama kawa nikapuliza, then huyooo mpaka mitaa anayoishi Lyamuya. Kanielekeza pale mpaka nimefika kwake. Lahaula! Namkuta amekaa kwenye ngazi za kuingia ghetto kwake, amevaa mijikanga imepauka amezungukwa na watoto kama sita wanamfumua nywele. That sight ilinifanya niconclude kuwa sitaweza kumbadili Lyamuya. Maana she knew I was going, at least angejiweka poa basi, wapi. Nikijiangalia na mm nlivyopigilia, nikajikuta nimekata tamaa mazima.

Ila kiuungwana sikutaka kuonesha kuwa disappointed, akanikaribisha ndani pale, mm nikasema tukae tu hapa nje umalizie kufumuliwa. Akasema hapana! Wewe mgeni wangu, kwa kuwa ushafika twen’zetu ndani hawa watoto watanimalizia hata usiku. Mimi ndo hata simsikilizi, kulikua na stuli pembeni nikaivuta nikakaa. Yeye kajikusanya pale kaingia ndani.

Nikabaki na watoto pale, nikaanza kuwapigisha story, na kwa kuwa napenda sana kids wala haikua kazi ngumu, tukawa tushazoeana navyo ndani ya muda mfupi. Mara Lyamuya akatoka, ananiambia ashatenga msosi nikaribie. Nikaona sio kesi, nikawashawishi na wale madogo tukazama ndani, tukapiga msosi wote. Msosi ulivyoisha na kila kitu kuondolewa kwa meza, dogo mmoja akamwambia Lyamuya, njoo tukumalizie kukufumua, nikaunga mkono hoja.

Basi wakawa wanafumuana huku tunapiga story pale. After few hours nikaaga nikasepa. Ile natoka tu, nikampigia simu boss Rona, “am honny babe”, [where are you], nikamjibu “nipo town”, [then hurry up, utanikuta kitandani kwako nishakuloanishia,ukifika nikuingiza tu, I hope utafika ukiwa bado umedinda]….

Boss Rona alikua na keys za home kwangu. Nilichofanya ni kuchukua taxi kabisa ili niwahi. Kufika home namkuta kweli on my bed, yuko kama alivyozaliwa kajitenga ule mkao wa mbuzi kagoma, it was a spectacular sight,yaani lile tako linaniface mimi dah!.

I removed my clothes, every piece of cloth. Inches zangu 8. S'thing zipo 45 degrees to the north, wala hata hatukusalimiana, wala kuongea chochote, ikawa kama nalenga shabaha. Mzee nikailengesha ikazama yooote, bila kumgusa sehem nyingine ya mwili, yaani mashine ikapenyezwa bila msaada wa mikono, mikono yangu nimeifunga nyuma ya kiuno changu, nikaacha kwanza mshedede usalimiane na mwenzie.

After some takos, nikaanza kumzabua vibao vya matako. Nnachompendea boss Rona, nyama zake laini kinyama. Ukizichapa kibao zinashake kama umedumbukiza shilingi kwenye beseni la maji. Kiufupi wazee, nliinjoi.

Lyamuya ofisini wala hakuonesha kukasirika, aliendelea kunichangamikia tu. Days went by nikawa namsoma kabisa anazidi kufall kwangu, ila mi ndo shaghairi mazima.

Then one Saturday evening something happened. Nlikua home siku hiyo. Nipo kwenye kibaraza cha hapa kwangu. Nimekaa kwenye ile misingi ya kibaraza, mgongo umeegemea nguzo nyuma na miguu imekanyaga nguzo mbele. Nlikua nasoma kitabu kimoja kinaitwa the Doomsday conspiracy kilichoandikwa na lengendari mwenyewe kwenye fasihi andishi, Sydney Sheldon.

Kwa mbali nikasikia vicheko vikaondoa concentration yangu kwa muda. Kucheki mbele, nikamuona msichana mmoja akiwa na dogo mwingine wa kiume wananyang’anyana kitu kama boksi huku wanacheka. Kilichonifanya niendelee kuwatazama ni huyu msichana. Kwa umri alionekana atakua yupo sekondari, sikuwahi kumuona hapa quarters za shirika kabla so mawazo yangu yakanambia atakakua yupo likizo hizi za mwisho wa mwaka.

Kilichokamata Zaidi attention yangu ni wajihi wake, she looked indian au half cast flani. Alikua amevaa mtisheti oversize na umepauka umeandikwa Celtel, pia kavaa pensi flani ya kijani kama ya timu ya Yanga material yale ya kuvutika, na pensi yenyewe ilikua kama imevutika eneo la mapajani na kumpa muonekano flani usiovutia sana. Miguuni kavaa ndala za umoja.

Yule binti ghafla akatizama nilipo, nikajistukia, nikarudisha macho kwenye kitabu. Nikaanza kuhisi kama anakuja vile uelekeo wangu. Na kweli, baada ya sekunde kadhaa nasikia shikamoo!, nikanyanyua macho, nikaitikia Marahaba! Then nikakosa cha kuendelea kusema. I will not lie, even though she was not appealing sexually to me at first sight, but she had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, Ever!!!!.

“kitabu gani unasoma?”, nikamjibu [Doomsday conspiracy], “ni kizuri?” [sana], “unapenda sana vitabu eeh?” akaniuliza huku akikichukua kitabu from my hands, [yup, unapenda pia kusoma vitabu?] nikajikuta namuuliza. Akajibu, “sio sana, apart from the novels we read in school kama the black hermit, sijasoma vitabu vingine”.

Nikajikuta naanza kutoa semina ya uzuri wa kujisomea vitabu . “wow! You really like books, unavyoongea naona kabisa unaongea from your heart, can I borrow this book nikajaribu na mimi kusoma?” nikamwabia, [hiki hapana, ila nina vingine kibao ndani, twende ukachague], hakua na kipingamizi, yule dogo mwingine ambaye nilifahamu baadae ni mtoto wa jirani yao akawa anafuata tu kwa nyuma.

Kufika ndani, nikaona binti anachanua midomo kwa mshangao. Hasa alipoona my library. I really like reading so ninavitabu vingi sana ndani. Nikaanza kumuonesha vitabu vya mwandishi aliyeandika kitabu alichokuta nakisoma. Nlikua nna collection ya vitabu Zaidi ya 15 vya Sydney Sheldon, kama vile; Master of the game, Tell me your dreams, Bloodline, Nothing lasts forever, If tomorrow comes, Rage of angels, The other side of midnight, Windmills of the Gods, The sands of time, Memories of midnight na kadhalika.

Then akaona yale mavolume makubwa akawa anashangaa, “unawezaje kusoma likitabu likubwa kama hili?” akauliza huku ameshika kitabu cha Pillars of the Earth cha mzee baba Ken Follett (ambaye pia nlikua na collection ya vitabu vyake kama Winter of the World, Eye of the needle, Fall of giants, Dangerous Fortune n.k).

Nikamwambia hata wewe ukikianza huezi kukiacha. Nikamuuliza kama ameshawahi ona movie ya hicho kitabu, akasema hapana, nikamwambia story tamu kama hizi Hollywood wanazitengenezea movie, ingawa kwenye movie mambo mengi yanakua yameondolewa, so its better to read the book than watch its movie.

“kitabu gani kingine kimechezwa movie?” akauliza, ‘the Bible’ nikajibu….. she got the joke and she laughed. Then nikamtolea kitabu cha mtaalam mwenyewe George RR Martin, A song of ice and fire . mpaka muda huo nlikua na vitabu vyake vinne,
- A game of thrones
- A clash of kings
- A storm of swords
- A fist of crows
Nikamwambia, “hapa duniani kuna intelligent people wengi, ila watu ambao ni genius wapo wachache sana, mind you, unaweza ukawa genius na ukafeli masomo darasani. Ma genius nnaowajua mm ni Albert Einstein, Michael Faraday, Alexander Graham Bell, Mozart na George RR Martin huyu aliyeandika hivi vitabu, ametengeneza a masterpiece in literary works” (kwa wasiojua hii a song of ice and fire ndo imetengenezwa series ya a game of thrones, kama ulipenda hii series, basi jua waliosoma vitabu vyake waliinjoi Zaidi),

maelezo yangu juu ya vitabu yalimvutia huyu binti ambaye mpaka wakati huo sijajua anaitwa nani na anakaa wapi. Baada ya lecture yangu, nikamshauri achukue kitabu kidogo ili akasome, na nikapendekeza kitabu cha James Hadley Chase, “find him, I’ll fix him” maana nlijua ni story fupi nzuri na itamjengea ham ya kusoma Zaidi. Akachukua hicho kitabu akasepa.

Kesho yake jpili jioni nasikia hodi mlangoni. Kufungua, ni yule binti. Kuniona akatabasamu then akasema, “huezi amini bro, ive finished the book, kidogo nikeshe” akawa ananisimulia jinsi kilivyo akasahau mm ndo nlimuazima hahahah. She liked the book. Akasema leo anachukua kingine, nikampa kitabu cha Danielle Steel kinaitwa Zoya. Ni kikubwa kiasi, nikajua kitamkeep busy wiki yote.

Na kweli, kuanzia j3 hadi ijumaa sikumuona. Nikajikuta natamani weekend ifike nimuone tena, sio kwa ubaya, ila niliinjoy zile conversations. Halafu pia, nilikua napenda jinsi anavyojiamini, yes she is young bt ni mtu ambaye hana ule uoga wa kitanzania, anaconfidence na akiwa anakuhoji maswali yake ya kiudadisi hakwepeshi macho, anakutazama direct kwenye mboni zako, unajikuta wewe ndo unakwepesha macho.

Na kweli jumamosi akaja. Ila alikua kama hajakimaliza kitabu, yaani ile ameingia ndani kapitiliza kwenye kochi kakaa then kafungua kitabu akawa anakisoma. Kuangalia alikua amebakiza page chache amalize. Nikaona na mm niendeleze kitabu changu, by now nlikua nasoma kitabu cha John Grisham, ‘the rain maker’. Nikiwa nasoma huku nnapata kinywaji changu pendwa, mm nakiitaga ndege (the famous grouse),. She is a student so I didn’t even bother to offer her a glass.

Baada ya muda namuona amemaliza kusoma alafu ananiangalia. “Don’t ever give a book of this kind to me again” akaniambia kwa sauti isiyo ya ukali lakini yenye userious. Why?, “last night I slept at 4.30am, and I cried a lot” akanijibu huku akielekea kwenye shelf la vitabu.

Akarudi kwenye kiti akiwa ameshika kile kitabu alichonikuta nakisoma last week. “whats your name?” akaniuliza, nikamtajia, nikamuuliza pia jina lake, aliponijibu ndo nikaunganisha dots ambazo wewe msomaji ushaziunganisha tayari. Anaitwa Norah Mekonnen (somo lingine kwa.mabaharia, ukimuuliza binti jina akakujibu kwa majina mawili jua huyo bado mwanafunzi kihalisia na pia ktk haya mambo)

Alivyotaja jina nikawa kama nimeduwaa. Baada ya sekunde ndo kuanza kumhoji vizuri, akasema ndiyo, ni mtoto wa Rona, yani ni mtoto wa boss Rona, mtoto wa mwanamke nnayejilia kama mke wangu. Dah!, na binti naye kaanza kunihoji pale nafahamiana vipi na mama yake, nikasema ni boss wangu, akajidai kuniuliza pale kama she is a good boss, nikamwambia she is the best,

alivyosikia hivyo akatabasamu then akanambia, “my mother is the most amazing woman I have ever met, I love her to death, and I am happy that she is my best friend, maana mama yangu bado kijana so we hang out and we talk abt everything, she is amazing”.

Alivyokua anamdescribe mama yake, nikajikuta napandisha midadi, ukichanganya na ulevi niliokua natumia, nikajikuta nachukua simu namtumia ujumbe boss Ronna.

[i know weekends ni muda unakuwa na familia yako, bt I need your body boss, pls njoo bila chupi], baada ya muda nasikia milio ya msg zinaingia bt hata sikuziangalia.
Norah akawa ananihoji pale khs what I studied, nikawa namjibu. Then kaniuliza plans zangu, nikajikuta naropoka tu, “after 5 years I will start my own company”, wow! Akajikuta ametamka, then akawa ananipongeza kwa vision na nini hahaha.

Mara ngo ngo ngo, dogo kaenda kufungua, uso kwa uso na mama yake. Baadae nlikuja kufahamu mama yake alikua anajua binti amekuja kwangu kurudisha kitabu na kuchukua kingine, kimsingi Ronna hakua na wasiwasi na mimi, she thought im a good boy and wont **** a teenager hahahaha.

Boss Ronna akamwambia dogo arudi home maana kuna issue mimi na yeye tunatakiwa tudiscuss abt work. Wakati anaondoka akaniaga, “Bye Bro” mm nikamjibu ‘by Kiddo’. Yaan mpaka leo ananiita bro, na mm namwita kiddo hahahaha.

Norah alivyosepa, boss Ronna kanifuata nlipo. Nlikua nimekaa kwenye office chair, akanikalia na kuanza kula denda. Kumpapasa ndani ya gauni naona sigusi chupi, yaani nakutana direct na nyama za tako. Ayah, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah. Akiwa bado anahangaika na lips, nikafungua zipu ya jeans nliyokua nimevaa, dushe nikaitoa then nikaiweka usawa wa nanlii. Kuisugua sugua kwenye kitumbua naona boss kaishika kailengesha then kaisokomeza. Meeeeeen. I lasted very few takos. Maana she knows how to shake that waist…

Kiga!

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Mmmmh.

 

[Hance Mtanashati]

Kipindi nasoma mbeya kuna manzi nilikuwa nampenda sana,yeye alikuwa 4m2 mim 4m6,baada ya kumaliza nikawa namfundisha tution maana wote tulikuwa police line Mbeya.
Sikuwai kumla yule demu hadi nilipochaguliwa chuo, kibaya zaid kuna dogo alikuwa anatoka nae,mim ananiambia muda bado,sasa nikachukia nikampotezea nikaenda kusoma Chuo UDOM,Mwaka wa 3 namaliza Chuo nikapata ajiri mbeya ,si unajua Mzee alikuwa yupo kwenye systems kwa hiyo aliunga dot tu.
Dogo nae alichaguliwa Magereza akapata post ya kazi Tukuyu mbeya.
Siku nikakutana nae mwanjelwa kama zari tu,ehhhhh,Wewe upo,mbona umekuwa, duuu,salamu kama zote vile,kumbe kwa nyuma alikuwa mama yake bwana,na ananifahamu vizur sana.Nikaona noma kishenzi,nikamsalimia na nikaanza kuzuga pale,saaa mama sijui alijua nimemisi mtoto wake ,akasema mim naenda Kiwira jamana,naomba niwaache,ikabidi nimtoe elfu 10 ya nauli kuzuga pale.
Sasa nikabaki na dogo kichwa cha chini kikasema ondoka nae hapa,tafuta mahali mtulie japo kwa muda.
Mwanjelwa nyuma ya jengo la biashara kuna logde nzur sana,nikasema twende pale tukapate chakula na kinywaji...akakubali, nilipofika pale nikaagiza chips yai na mishikaki ,akaja muhudumu nikamuuliza chumba bei gani,akasema 13,nikabook fasta,mim nikaingia ndani kisha nikamwambia muhudumu kamlete yule demu,nikampa na buku ya ndom.....
Xxxxxxx akavunga badae akaja ndani,basi mim nikavua shat nikabaki chest ,akasema why umenileta humu nikasema pale bro atapita ataniona,maana kaka yangu anafanya biashara pale mwanjelwa room Namba 34 B waliofika pale.
Zikaletwa chips,tukala fasta then tukaaanza story, gafla nikaanza kusikia kama kuna kitu kinasema unachelewa ,muda huuu,
Tulianza kwa kuoga,akiwa chooni,nikaanza kunyonya chuchu,kitofu mim reki sio fundi,,piga fingure za kutosha.....Dem kalainika mbaya.
Nikamleta bed,nikamwambia shika kitanda dog style,nikavaa ndom ,linipiga mashine yule demu,hadi room ya 3 wanasikia kwa kelele ingawa ni soldiers,nilipiga tena tatu, kisha nikamwambia mim na wewe basi,maana alishaniliaga sana pesa zangu nyuma,ila ana K nzur sana.
Popote ulipo Xxxxxx.kunywa beer nalipa

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Chai.

 

[gwijimimi]

Will appreciate that much

Hahahaha, i am not a quiter so nitaimalizia

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[sebsdtian]

Mzee baba usiseme kuna mtoto mzur kaja kunitunuku penzi leo hii kiuraiiiiini.

Leo mchana nmeznguana na manzi angu kisa cjamtoa out ety npo bize na kaz, nkaweka status nimepgwa kibut mara jion naona comment oohh pole my dear, kuangalia dem fulan nlimaliza nae chuo, nkamjibu ndo ya ulimwengu mpenz, haya ngoja mi nijipumzishe, mara kadakia bac ngoja nije hata tupge stor akachukua boda kaja mjengon akapika menyu tukagonga then kilichomkuta anakijua mwenyew nimemsolobola hatar nkawa nackia jaman mbona hukojoi tu. Na hapa ndo kasepa mida hii akajiandae kuingia work.

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[King klax]

The continuing story of how I met my wife.

Ile life story ya boss Rona kwa kweli ilinihuzunisha sana, ikawa sasa namuona kwa jicho tofauti kidogo. Mwanzo ilikua tu someone I enjoy making love to, maana niwe muwazi, sio kuwa nilikua nimefall in love nae, lakini pia sio kuwa nlikua simpendi.

There is a way she made me feel that I really liked, and no woman before had made me feel. She made me lough, she made me happy, nlipenda namna anavyojiachia akiwa na mimi, sometimes akiwa kwangu hata kama hatufanyi mapenzi atavua nguo na kubaki na chupi na sidiria, atakaa hapo mnapiga story mara ainuke aanze kucheza mziki (hii style ya kucheza kwenye wimbo wa Rayvanny wa Teamo yeye alikua ananichezea kitambo sana) and most of all, I loved the way we made love.

Zimepita wiki kadhaa tangu anisimulie mkasa wa maisha yake, and to be honest I sometimes felt guilty. Yaani ile kujua kuwa ameolewa na KM ilikua inanipiss off sio kitoto. Ikanipa mawazo pia ya kutafuta mpenzi sasa ambaye atakuwa wangu mwenyewe. Lakini nani sasa. And kama nlivyowahi kusema, nlikua na standards zangu, yaani mpaka nimedate na msichana lazima akidhi vigezo vyangu.

Pale ofisini kuna dada nliajiriwa nae kipindi kimoja, kama mtakumbuka nlimtaja kwa jina lake la ubini Lyamuya. Lyamuya alikua sio mbaya ila ni wale wadada ambao kutwa kucha misketi mirefu kama mfuko wa mashine ya kusaga, akibadilisha ni magauni ya kumpwaya tena ya mtumba.

Kwa wanaume wanaotafuta wife material ladies, Lyamuya anafaa. Na kwa kuwa na mimi nlidhamiria kutafuta mwenzi wa maisha, nikasema ngoja nione kwake, huenda akanifaa. Ingawa kiukweli sio aina ya wanawake wanaonivutia kwa hurka yake na jinsi anavyojiweka, nilijipa tu moyo kuwa nitampiga sop sop nimbadilishe aendane na mm. maana sura walau alikua nayo.

Basi mazee, nikaanza kumpa attention ofisini, mara nimtanie, mara nimsifie, nikaanza kumpigia simu night, kumtumia msg za goodmorning. Hii yote nilifanya ili kwanza nimpe idea ya nnachotaka. Hata haikuchukua siku nyingi, nikaona yeye ndo anaanza kunipa attention sasa. Ila yeye alivyoanza kujaa kwa kasi, moyo wangu ukawa kama unaanza kurudisha majeshi nyuma, maana nlikua nikimuona alivyovaa stim zinakata kabisa.

One day muda wa lunch nakumbuka alisuggest tukale wote, wakati tunapata msosi nikajikuta nimecomment kuhusu pilau nliyokua nakula. Haikua imeiva vizuri. Basi Lyamuya akaunga mkono pale na kunialika kwake ili nikale pilau iliyoiva vizuri. Ngoja niwape siri wazee, demu akikualika kwake kwa sababu yoyote ile, hiyo ni mualiko wa kwenda kumbanjua, sasa kama na wewe umemuelewa demu, au unataka kweli kumla, wala usivunge kubaliana na siku na muda aliopendekeza. Ila kama huna mpango wa kumla, tafuta kisingizio cha kumkwepa hasa kutumia siku au muda aliosuggest. Kwa mfano kama humtaki sema tu kuwa jumapili kuna mshkaji nlimuahidi kumsaidia issue flani, then unasuggest jpili inayofuata. Hapa dem ataelewa kuwa amekataliwa kistaarabu. Turudi kwenye story sasa, kidogo nikwepe mwaliko, ila nikajikuta nimekubali kuwa jpili ntaenda kwake.

That Sunday nikapiga pamba safi, unyunyu kama kawa nikapuliza, then huyooo mpaka mitaa anayoishi Lyamuya. Kanielekeza pale mpaka nimefika kwake. Lahaula! Namkuta amekaa kwenye ngazi za kuingia ghetto kwake, amevaa mijikanga imepauka amezungukwa na watoto kama sita wanamfumua nywele. That sight ilinifanya niconclude kuwa sitaweza kumbadili Lyamuya. Maana she knew I was going, at least angejiweka poa basi, wapi. Nikijiangalia na mm nlivyopigilia, nikajikuta nimekata tamaa mazima.

Ila kiuungwana sikutaka kuonesha kuwa disappointed, akanikaribisha ndani pale, mm nikasema tukae tu hapa nje umalizie kufumuliwa. Akasema hapana! Wewe mgeni wangu, kwa kuwa ushafika twen’zetu ndani hawa watoto watanimalizia hata usiku. Mimi ndo hata simsikilizi, kulikua na stuli pembeni nikaivuta nikakaa. Yeye kajikusanya pale kaingia ndani.

Nikabaki na watoto pale, nikaanza kuwapigisha story, na kwa kuwa napenda sana kids wala haikua kazi ngumu, tukawa tushazoeana navyo ndani ya muda mfupi. Mara Lyamuya akatoka, ananiambia ashatenga msosi nikaribie. Nikaona sio kesi, nikawashawishi na wale madogo tukazama ndani, tukapiga msosi wote. Msosi ulivyoisha na kila kitu kuondolewa kwa meza, dogo mmoja akamwambia Lyamuya, njoo tukumalizie kukufumua, nikaunga mkono hoja.

Basi wakawa wanafumuana huku tunapiga story pale. After few hours nikaaga nikasepa. Ile natoka tu, nikampigia simu boss Rona, “am honny babe”, [where are you], nikamjibu “nipo town”, [then hurry up, utanikuta kitandani kwako nishakuloanishia,ukifika nikuingiza tu, I hope utafika ukiwa bado umedinda]….

Boss Rona alikua na keys za home kwangu. Nilichofanya ni kuchukua taxi kabisa ili niwahi. Kufika home namkuta kweli on my bed, yuko kama alivyozaliwa kajitenga ule mkao wa mbuzi kagoma, it was a spectacular sight,yaani lile tako linaniface mimi dah!.

I removed my clothes, every piece of cloth. Inches zangu 8. S'thing zipo 45 degrees to the north, wala hata hatukusalimiana, wala kuongea chochote, ikawa kama nalenga shabaha. Mzee nikailengesha ikazama yooote, bila kumgusa sehem nyingine ya mwili, yaani mashine ikapenyezwa bila msaada wa mikono, mikono yangu nimeifunga nyuma ya kiuno changu, nikaacha kwanza mshedede usalimiane na mwenzie.

After some takos, nikaanza kumzabua vibao vya matako. Nnachompendea boss Rona, nyama zake laini kinyama. Ukizichapa kibao zinashake kama umedumbukiza shilingi kwenye beseni la maji. Kiufupi wazee, nliinjoi.

Lyamuya ofisini wala hakuonesha kukasirika, aliendelea kunichangamikia tu. Days went by nikawa namsoma kabisa anazidi kufall kwangu, ila mi ndo shaghairi mazima.

Then one Saturday evening something happened. Nlikua home siku hiyo. Nipo kwenye kibaraza cha hapa kwangu. Nimekaa kwenye ile misingi ya kibaraza, mgongo umeegemea nguzo nyuma na miguu imekanyaga nguzo mbele. Nlikua nasoma kitabu kimoja kinaitwa the Doomsday conspiracy kilichoandikwa na lengendari mwenyewe kwenye fasihi andishi, Sydney Sheldon.

Kwa mbali nikasikia vicheko vikaondoa concentration yangu kwa muda. Kucheki mbele, nikamuona msichana mmoja akiwa na dogo mwingine wa kiume wananyang’anyana kitu kama boksi huku wanacheka. Kilichonifanya niendelee kuwatazama ni huyu msichana. Kwa umri alionekana atakua yupo sekondari, sikuwahi kumuona hapa quarters za shirika kabla so mawazo yangu yakanambia atakakua yupo likizo hizi za mwisho wa mwaka.

Kilichokamata Zaidi attention yangu ni wajihi wake, she looked indian au half cast flani. Alikua amevaa mtisheti oversize na umepauka umeandikwa Celtel, pia kavaa pensi flani ya kijani kama ya timu ya Yanga material yale ya kuvutika, na pensi yenyewe ilikua kama imevutika eneo la mapajani na kumpa muonekano flani usiovutia sana. Miguuni kavaa ndala za umoja.

Yule binti ghafla akatizama nilipo, nikajistukia, nikarudisha macho kwenye kitabu. Nikaanza kuhisi kama anakuja vile uelekeo wangu. Na kweli, baada ya sekunde kadhaa nasikia shikamoo!, nikanyanyua macho, nikaitikia Marahaba! Then nikakosa cha kuendelea kusema. I will not lie, even though she was not appealing sexually to me at first sight, but she had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, Ever!!!!.

“kitabu gani unasoma?”, nikamjibu [Doomsday conspiracy], “ni kizuri?” [sana], “unapenda sana vitabu eeh?” akaniuliza huku akikichukua kitabu from my hands, [yup, unapenda pia kusoma vitabu?] nikajikuta namuuliza. Akajibu, “sio sana, apart from the novels we read in school kama the black hermit, sijasoma vitabu vingine”.

Nikajikuta naanza kutoa semina ya uzuri wa kujisomea vitabu . “wow! You really like books, unavyoongea naona kabisa unaongea from your heart, can I borrow this book nikajaribu na mimi kusoma?” nikamwabia, [hiki hapana, ila nina vingine kibao ndani, twende ukachague], hakua na kipingamizi, yule dogo mwingine ambaye nilifahamu baadae ni mtoto wa jirani yao akawa anafuata tu kwa nyuma.

Kufika ndani, nikaona binti anachanua midomo kwa mshangao. Hasa alipoona my library. I really like reading so ninavitabu vingi sana ndani. Nikaanza kumuonesha vitabu vya mwandishi aliyeandika kitabu alichokuta nakisoma. Nlikua nna collection ya vitabu Zaidi ya 15 vya Sydney Sheldon, kama vile; Master of the game, Tell me your dreams, Bloodline, Nothing lasts forever, If tomorrow comes, Rage of angels, The other side of midnight, Windmills of the Gods, The sands of time, Memories of midnight na kadhalika.

Then akaona yale mavolume makubwa akawa anashangaa, “unawezaje kusoma likitabu likubwa kama hili?” akauliza huku ameshika kitabu cha Pillars of the Earth cha mzee baba Ken Follett (ambaye pia nlikua na collection ya vitabu vyake kama Winter of the World, Eye of the needle, Fall of giants, Dangerous Fortune n.k).

Nikamwambia hata wewe ukikianza huezi kukiacha. Nikamuuliza kama ameshawahi ona movie ya hicho kitabu, akasema hapana, nikamwambia story tamu kama hizi Hollywood wanazitengenezea movie, ingawa kwenye movie mambo mengi yanakua yameondolewa, so its better to read the book than watch its movie.

“kitabu gani kingine kimechezwa movie?” akauliza, ‘the Bible’ nikajibu….. she got the joke and she laughed. Then nikamtolea kitabu cha mtaalam mwenyewe George RR Martin, A song of ice and fire . mpaka muda huo nlikua na vitabu vyake vinne,
- A game of thrones
- A clash of kings
- A storm of swords
- A fist of crows
Nikamwambia, “hapa duniani kuna intelligent people wengi, ila watu ambao ni genius wapo wachache sana, mind you, unaweza ukawa genius na ukafeli masomo darasani. Ma genius nnaowajua mm ni Albert Einstein, Michael Faraday, Alexander Graham Bell, Mozart na George RR Martin huyu aliyeandika hivi vitabu, ametengeneza a masterpiece in literary works” (kwa wasiojua hii a song of ice and fire ndo imetengenezwa series ya a game of thrones, kama ulipenda hii series, basi jua waliosoma vitabu vyake waliinjoi Zaidi),

maelezo yangu juu ya vitabu yalimvutia huyu binti ambaye mpaka wakati huo sijajua anaitwa nani na anakaa wapi. Baada ya lecture yangu, nikamshauri achukue kitabu kidogo ili akasome, na nikapendekeza kitabu cha James Hadley Chase, “find him, I’ll fix him” maana nlijua ni story fupi nzuri na itamjengea ham ya kusoma Zaidi. Akachukua hicho kitabu akasepa.

Kesho yake jpili jioni nasikia hodi mlangoni. Kufungua, ni yule binti. Kuniona akatabasamu then akasema, “huezi amini bro, ive finished the book, kidogo nikeshe” akawa ananisimulia jinsi kilivyo akasahau mm ndo nlimuazima hahahah. She liked the book. Akasema leo anachukua kingine, nikampa kitabu cha Danielle Steel kinaitwa Zoya. Ni kikubwa kiasi, nikajua kitamkeep busy wiki yote.

Na kweli, kuanzia j3 hadi ijumaa sikumuona. Nikajikuta natamani weekend ifike nimuone tena, sio kwa ubaya, ila niliinjoy zile conversations. Halafu pia, nilikua napenda jinsi anavyojiamini, yes she is young bt ni mtu ambaye hana ule uoga wa kitanzania, anaconfidence na akiwa anakuhoji maswali yake ya kiudadisi hakwepeshi macho, anakutazama direct kwenye mboni zako, unajikuta wewe ndo unakwepesha macho.

Na kweli jumamosi akaja. Ila alikua kama hajakimaliza kitabu, yaani ile ameingia ndani kapitiliza kwenye kochi kakaa then kafungua kitabu akawa anakisoma. Kuangalia alikua amebakiza page chache amalize. Nikaona na mm niendeleze kitabu changu, by now nlikua nasoma kitabu cha John Grisham, ‘the rain maker’. Nikiwa nasoma huku nnapata kinywaji changu pendwa, mm nakiitaga ndege (the famous grouse),. She is a student so I didn’t even bother to offer her a glass.

Baada ya muda namuona amemaliza kusoma alafu ananiangalia. “Don’t ever give a book of this kind to me again” akaniambia kwa sauti isiyo ya ukali lakini yenye userious. Why?, “last night I slept at 4.30am, and I cried a lot” akanijibu huku akielekea kwenye shelf la vitabu.

Akarudi kwenye kiti akiwa ameshika kile kitabu alichonikuta nakisoma last week. “whats your name?” akaniuliza, nikamtajia, nikamuuliza pia jina lake, aliponijibu ndo nikaunganisha dots ambazo wewe msomaji ushaziunganisha tayari. Anaitwa Norah Mekonnen (somo lingine kwa.mabaharia, ukimuuliza binti jina akakujibu kwa majina mawili jua huyo bado mwanafunzi kihalisia na pia ktk haya mambo)

Alivyotaja jina nikawa kama nimeduwaa. Baada ya sekunde ndo kuanza kumhoji vizuri, akasema ndiyo, ni mtoto wa Rona, yani ni mtoto wa boss Rona, mtoto wa mwanamke nnayejilia kama mke wangu. Dah!, na binti naye kaanza kunihoji pale nafahamiana vipi na mama yake, nikasema ni boss wangu, akajidai kuniuliza pale kama she is a good boss, nikamwambia she is the best,

alivyosikia hivyo akatabasamu then akanambia, “my mother is the most amazing woman I have ever met, I love her to death, and I am happy that she is my best friend, maana mama yangu bado kijana so we hang out and we talk abt everything, she is amazing”.

Alivyokua anamdescribe mama yake, nikajikuta napandisha midadi, ukichanganya na ulevi niliokua natumia, nikajikuta nachukua simu namtumia ujumbe boss Ronna.

[i know weekends ni muda unakuwa na familia yako, bt I need your body boss, pls njoo bila chupi], baada ya muda nasikia milio ya msg zinaingia bt hata sikuziangalia.
Norah akawa ananihoji pale khs what I studied, nikawa namjibu. Then kaniuliza plans zangu, nikajikuta naropoka tu, “after 5 years I will start my own company”, wow! Akajikuta ametamka, then akawa ananipongeza kwa vision na nini hahaha.

Mara ngo ngo ngo, dogo kaenda kufungua, uso kwa uso na mama yake. Baadae nlikuja kufahamu mama yake alikua anajua binti amekuja kwangu kurudisha kitabu na kuchukua kingine, kimsingi Ronna hakua na wasiwasi na mimi, she thought im a good boy and wont **** a teenager hahahaha.

Boss Ronna akamwambia dogo arudi home maana kuna issue mimi na yeye tunatakiwa tudiscuss abt work. Wakati anaondoka akaniaga, “Bye Bro” mm nikamjibu ‘by Kiddo’. Yaan mpaka leo ananiita bro, na mm namwita kiddo hahahaha.

Norah alivyosepa, boss Ronna kanifuata nlipo. Nlikua nimekaa kwenye office chair, akanikalia na kuanza kula denda. Kumpapasa ndani ya gauni naona sigusi chupi, yaani nakutana direct na nyama za tako. Ayah, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah. Akiwa bado anahangaika na lips, nikafungua zipu ya jeans nliyokua nimevaa, dushe nikaitoa then nikaiweka usawa wa nanlii. Kuisugua sugua kwenye kitumbua naona boss kaishika kailengesha then kaisokomeza. Meeeeeen. I lasted very few takos. Maana she knows how to shake that waist…

Kiga!

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amazing story you have

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[The GT]

nimekula tunda kimasihara

hii ilikua kipindi kifupi baada ya kuingia jf na kusoma uzi wa mkuu rikiboy "ushawai kula tunda kimasihara?" baada ya kuupitia pitia huo uzi nikaomuona mdada mmoja wa jf kakomenti eti sijui akumbuki mara ya mwisho kukojoleshwa ni lini, nikareply komenti yake mm naweza kukukojolesha mara 10 ndani ya lisaa

amuezi kuamini baada ya reply iyo nikaona bi dada kajaa kweny PM yangu anauliza unaeza nikojolesha kweli weww? kishoka nikajiuliza uyu msichana ananipima imani au yupo real?kimasihara na mm nikamjibu naweza, mara akataka tuonane uku kichwani siamini kama kweli anataka kukojoleshwa

nikamwambia kama unataka kukutana na mimi jua unakuja straight ninapo ishi maana mimi sipendi kuzurula zurula kwaiyo nikamuelekeza tu mtaani napo ishi, apo adi tunafika hatua iyo uyu mdada alitoa ma digits take ya simu mwenye pale kweny ubao wa pm, wakuuu! ilikua ajabu na kweli mdada wa jf ananiambia anaanza safari kuja mtaani napo ishi ili akojozwe, mara baada ya kama lisaa na dakika kama 50 hivi anipigia simu yupo kituoni niende kumchukua, kweli mdau nikatoka casual tu na unyunyu kwa mbali nikafika adi kituona nikamuona, uyu msichana ana sura nzuri kivilee lakin mkia wazee! tako alikua nalo lakutosha tu

tu cut the story, tukafika getto na mtu alikua amezamilia na amekuja kwa lengo la kukojozwaa nikamuuliza ndo umekuja kweli kwasababu iyo? akawa anacheka tu, na mm kwenye sheria zangu za mchezo mtoto akicheka cheka bila sababu huwa naanza kufanya yangu aste aste! nikaanza kufanya yangu wenyew wanasema ufundi kitandani sio maguvu kujikwamua, nimbonyeza mtoto wa watu kimasihara kabisa! lakin kiukweli nilimkojoza mara mbili tu hahah!

Asantw sana jf, asante sana rikiboy kwa uzi wako nikula apple kimasiahara kabisaa yani

bi dada kama utaiona hii komenti samahani! nimeona wadau wanatiririka sana na shuhuda zao adi nimepata wivu

Mzee baba,Mara mbili tu? Au hakuwa na hamasa?

 

[The GT]

Jamani tuwapige show za ukweli Hawa viumbe aisee,mm kwa demu niliyemuelewa atakojoa si chini ya Mara 7 huko kabla sijatua kituo Cha Kwanza.

 

[Mr. Marangu]

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Huu uzi ni wa kuheshimu sana na usione watu wanahadithia huku wamekula kimasihara ukajua ni watu wadogo..... kuna waheshimiwa pia wamemwagika stori humu...

Unaweza kukuta mtu ameweka stori huku alikula kimasihara huku huko 90+ akampa mtoto mimba na ww unakomenti... kumbe ww ndio ulizaliwa na aliyekula kimasihara ni mdingi wako....

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[Msukuma Original]

Chai.

Mods huyu jamaa naomba mmpige ban ya maisha. Mpuuzi sana huyu mtu. Anatuharibia siku huyu mjinga.

 

[MeruA]

Mkuu hii ndiyo style ninayoitumia mimi naita bao moja lenye amazing power,kwanza isiwe below 30 minutes,na kabla hujafika hakikisha amepiga two clear goals ile ya tatu ndiyo mnafika kwa pamoja,hutasikia lawama.

Sio kuwa nguvu chief. Nkiwa na mwanamke lile bao la kwanza kwangu nahakikisha amekojoa walau mara 2, na hapo ni 30+ minutes. La pili hapo ni kulazimisha tu hamu, binti yeye ashatosheka labda awe nymphomaniac ndo atakua na mzuka sana bado. Mpaka la 4 binti anakua hana hamu.

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[Geniustin]

The continuing story of how I met my wife.

Ile life story ya boss Rona kwa kweli ilinihuzunisha sana, ikawa sasa namuona kwa jicho tofauti kidogo. Mwanzo ilikua tu someone I enjoy making love to, maana niwe muwazi, sio kuwa nilikua nimefall in love nae, lakini pia sio kuwa nlikua simpendi.

There is a way she made me feel that I really liked, and no woman before had made me feel. She made me lough, she made me happy, nlipenda namna anavyojiachia akiwa na mimi, sometimes akiwa kwangu hata kama hatufanyi mapenzi atavua nguo na kubaki na chupi na sidiria, atakaa hapo mnapiga story mara ainuke aanze kucheza mziki (hii style ya kucheza kwenye wimbo wa Rayvanny wa Teamo yeye alikua ananichezea kitambo sana) and most of all, I loved the way we made love.

Zimepita wiki kadhaa tangu anisimulie mkasa wa maisha yake, and to be honest I sometimes felt guilty. Yaani ile kujua kuwa ameolewa na KM ilikua inanipiss off sio kitoto. Ikanipa mawazo pia ya kutafuta mpenzi sasa ambaye atakuwa wangu mwenyewe. Lakini nani sasa. And kama nlivyowahi kusema, nlikua na standards zangu, yaani mpaka nimedate na msichana lazima akidhi vigezo vyangu.

Pale ofisini kuna dada nliajiriwa nae kipindi kimoja, kama mtakumbuka nlimtaja kwa jina lake la ubini Lyamuya. Lyamuya alikua sio mbaya ila ni wale wadada ambao kutwa kucha misketi mirefu kama mfuko wa mashine ya kusaga, akibadilisha ni magauni ya kumpwaya tena ya mtumba.

Kwa wanaume wanaotafuta wife material ladies, Lyamuya anafaa. Na kwa kuwa na mimi nlidhamiria kutafuta mwenzi wa maisha, nikasema ngoja nione kwake, huenda akanifaa. Ingawa kiukweli sio aina ya wanawake wanaonivutia kwa hurka yake na jinsi anavyojiweka, nilijipa tu moyo kuwa nitampiga sop sop nimbadilishe aendane na mm. maana sura walau alikua nayo.

Basi mazee, nikaanza kumpa attention ofisini, mara nimtanie, mara nimsifie, nikaanza kumpigia simu night, kumtumia msg za goodmorning. Hii yote nilifanya ili kwanza nimpe idea ya nnachotaka. Hata haikuchukua siku nyingi, nikaona yeye ndo anaanza kunipa attention sasa. Ila yeye alivyoanza kujaa kwa kasi, moyo wangu ukawa kama unaanza kurudisha majeshi nyuma, maana nlikua nikimuona alivyovaa stim zinakata kabisa.

One day muda wa lunch nakumbuka alisuggest tukale wote, wakati tunapata msosi nikajikuta nimecomment kuhusu pilau nliyokua nakula. Haikua imeiva vizuri. Basi Lyamuya akaunga mkono pale na kunialika kwake ili nikale pilau iliyoiva vizuri. Ngoja niwape siri wazee, demu akikualika kwake kwa sababu yoyote ile, hiyo ni mualiko wa kwenda kumbanjua, sasa kama na wewe umemuelewa demu, au unataka kweli kumla, wala usivunge kubaliana na siku na muda aliopendekeza. Ila kama huna mpango wa kumla, tafuta kisingizio cha kumkwepa hasa kutumia siku au muda aliosuggest. Kwa mfano kama humtaki sema tu kuwa jumapili kuna mshkaji nlimuahidi kumsaidia issue flani, then unasuggest jpili inayofuata. Hapa dem ataelewa kuwa amekataliwa kistaarabu. Turudi kwenye story sasa, kidogo nikwepe mwaliko, ila nikajikuta nimekubali kuwa jpili ntaenda kwake.

That Sunday nikapiga pamba safi, unyunyu kama kawa nikapuliza, then huyooo mpaka mitaa anayoishi Lyamuya. Kanielekeza pale mpaka nimefika kwake. Lahaula! Namkuta amekaa kwenye ngazi za kuingia ghetto kwake, amevaa mijikanga imepauka amezungukwa na watoto kama sita wanamfumua nywele. That sight ilinifanya niconclude kuwa sitaweza kumbadili Lyamuya. Maana she knew I was going, at least angejiweka poa basi, wapi. Nikijiangalia na mm nlivyopigilia, nikajikuta nimekata tamaa mazima.

Ila kiuungwana sikutaka kuonesha kuwa disappointed, akanikaribisha ndani pale, mm nikasema tukae tu hapa nje umalizie kufumuliwa. Akasema hapana! Wewe mgeni wangu, kwa kuwa ushafika twen’zetu ndani hawa watoto watanimalizia hata usiku. Mimi ndo hata simsikilizi, kulikua na stuli pembeni nikaivuta nikakaa. Yeye kajikusanya pale kaingia ndani.

Nikabaki na watoto pale, nikaanza kuwapigisha story, na kwa kuwa napenda sana kids wala haikua kazi ngumu, tukawa tushazoeana navyo ndani ya muda mfupi. Mara Lyamuya akatoka, ananiambia ashatenga msosi nikaribie. Nikaona sio kesi, nikawashawishi na wale madogo tukazama ndani, tukapiga msosi wote. Msosi ulivyoisha na kila kitu kuondolewa kwa meza, dogo mmoja akamwambia Lyamuya, njoo tukumalizie kukufumua, nikaunga mkono hoja.

Basi wakawa wanafumuana huku tunapiga story pale. After few hours nikaaga nikasepa. Ile natoka tu, nikampigia simu boss Rona, “am honny babe”, [where are you], nikamjibu “nipo town”, [then hurry up, utanikuta kitandani kwako nishakuloanishia,ukifika nikuingiza tu, I hope utafika ukiwa bado umedinda]….

Boss Rona alikua na keys za home kwangu. Nilichofanya ni kuchukua taxi kabisa ili niwahi. Kufika home namkuta kweli on my bed, yuko kama alivyozaliwa kajitenga ule mkao wa mbuzi kagoma, it was a spectacular sight,yaani lile tako linaniface mimi dah!.

I removed my clothes, every piece of cloth. Inches zangu 8. S'thing zipo 45 degrees to the north, wala hata hatukusalimiana, wala kuongea chochote, ikawa kama nalenga shabaha. Mzee nikailengesha ikazama yooote, bila kumgusa sehem nyingine ya mwili, yaani mashine ikapenyezwa bila msaada wa mikono, mikono yangu nimeifunga nyuma ya kiuno changu, nikaacha kwanza mshedede usalimiane na mwenzie.

After some takos, nikaanza kumzabua vibao vya matako. Nnachompendea boss Rona, nyama zake laini kinyama. Ukizichapa kibao zinashake kama umedumbukiza shilingi kwenye beseni la maji. Kiufupi wazee, nliinjoi.

Lyamuya ofisini wala hakuonesha kukasirika, aliendelea kunichangamikia tu. Days went by nikawa namsoma kabisa anazidi kufall kwangu, ila mi ndo shaghairi mazima.

Then one Saturday evening something happened. Nlikua home siku hiyo. Nipo kwenye kibaraza cha hapa kwangu. Nimekaa kwenye ile misingi ya kibaraza, mgongo umeegemea nguzo nyuma na miguu imekanyaga nguzo mbele. Nlikua nasoma kitabu kimoja kinaitwa the Doomsday conspiracy kilichoandikwa na lengendari mwenyewe kwenye fasihi andishi, Sydney Sheldon.

Kwa mbali nikasikia vicheko vikaondoa concentration yangu kwa muda. Kucheki mbele, nikamuona msichana mmoja akiwa na dogo mwingine wa kiume wananyang’anyana kitu kama boksi huku wanacheka. Kilichonifanya niendelee kuwatazama ni huyu msichana. Kwa umri alionekana atakua yupo sekondari, sikuwahi kumuona hapa quarters za shirika kabla so mawazo yangu yakanambia atakakua yupo likizo hizi za mwisho wa mwaka.

Kilichokamata Zaidi attention yangu ni wajihi wake, she looked indian au half cast flani. Alikua amevaa mtisheti oversize na umepauka umeandikwa Celtel, pia kavaa pensi flani ya kijani kama ya timu ya Yanga material yale ya kuvutika, na pensi yenyewe ilikua kama imevutika eneo la mapajani na kumpa muonekano flani usiovutia sana. Miguuni kavaa ndala za umoja.

Yule binti ghafla akatizama nilipo, nikajistukia, nikarudisha macho kwenye kitabu. Nikaanza kuhisi kama anakuja vile uelekeo wangu. Na kweli, baada ya sekunde kadhaa nasikia shikamoo!, nikanyanyua macho, nikaitikia Marahaba! Then nikakosa cha kuendelea kusema. I will not lie, even though she was not appealing sexually to me at first sight, but she had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, Ever!!!!.

“kitabu gani unasoma?”, nikamjibu [Doomsday conspiracy], “ni kizuri?” [sana], “unapenda sana vitabu eeh?” akaniuliza huku akikichukua kitabu from my hands, [yup, unapenda pia kusoma vitabu?] nikajikuta namuuliza. Akajibu, “sio sana, apart from the novels we read in school kama the black hermit, sijasoma vitabu vingine”.

Nikajikuta naanza kutoa semina ya uzuri wa kujisomea vitabu . “wow! You really like books, unavyoongea naona kabisa unaongea from your heart, can I borrow this book nikajaribu na mimi kusoma?” nikamwabia, [hiki hapana, ila nina vingine kibao ndani, twende ukachague], hakua na kipingamizi, yule dogo mwingine ambaye nilifahamu baadae ni mtoto wa jirani yao akawa anafuata tu kwa nyuma.

Kufika ndani, nikaona binti anachanua midomo kwa mshangao. Hasa alipoona my library. I really like reading so ninavitabu vingi sana ndani. Nikaanza kumuonesha vitabu vya mwandishi aliyeandika kitabu alichokuta nakisoma. Nlikua nna collection ya vitabu Zaidi ya 15 vya Sydney Sheldon, kama vile; Master of the game, Tell me your dreams, Bloodline, Nothing lasts forever, If tomorrow comes, Rage of angels, The other side of midnight, Windmills of the Gods, The sands of time, Memories of midnight na kadhalika.

Then akaona yale mavolume makubwa akawa anashangaa, “unawezaje kusoma likitabu likubwa kama hili?” akauliza huku ameshika kitabu cha Pillars of the Earth cha mzee baba Ken Follett (ambaye pia nlikua na collection ya vitabu vyake kama Winter of the World, Eye of the needle, Fall of giants, Dangerous Fortune n.k).

Nikamwambia hata wewe ukikianza huezi kukiacha. Nikamuuliza kama ameshawahi ona movie ya hicho kitabu, akasema hapana, nikamwambia story tamu kama hizi Hollywood wanazitengenezea movie, ingawa kwenye movie mambo mengi yanakua yameondolewa, so its better to read the book than watch its movie.

“kitabu gani kingine kimechezwa movie?” akauliza, ‘the Bible’ nikajibu….. she got the joke and she laughed. Then nikamtolea kitabu cha mtaalam mwenyewe George RR Martin, A song of ice and fire . mpaka muda huo nlikua na vitabu vyake vinne,
- A game of thrones
- A clash of kings
- A storm of swords
- A fist of crows
Nikamwambia, “hapa duniani kuna intelligent people wengi, ila watu ambao ni genius wapo wachache sana, mind you, unaweza ukawa genius na ukafeli masomo darasani. Ma genius nnaowajua mm ni Albert Einstein, Michael Faraday, Alexander Graham Bell, Mozart na George RR Martin huyu aliyeandika hivi vitabu, ametengeneza a masterpiece in literary works” (kwa wasiojua hii a song of ice and fire ndo imetengenezwa series ya a game of thrones, kama ulipenda hii series, basi jua waliosoma vitabu vyake waliinjoi Zaidi),

maelezo yangu juu ya vitabu yalimvutia huyu binti ambaye mpaka wakati huo sijajua anaitwa nani na anakaa wapi. Baada ya lecture yangu, nikamshauri achukue kitabu kidogo ili akasome, na nikapendekeza kitabu cha James Hadley Chase, “find him, I’ll fix him” maana nlijua ni story fupi nzuri na itamjengea ham ya kusoma Zaidi. Akachukua hicho kitabu akasepa.

Kesho yake jpili jioni nasikia hodi mlangoni. Kufungua, ni yule binti. Kuniona akatabasamu then akasema, “huezi amini bro, ive finished the book, kidogo nikeshe” akawa ananisimulia jinsi kilivyo akasahau mm ndo nlimuazima hahahah. She liked the book. Akasema leo anachukua kingine, nikampa kitabu cha Danielle Steel kinaitwa Zoya. Ni kikubwa kiasi, nikajua kitamkeep busy wiki yote.

Na kweli, kuanzia j3 hadi ijumaa sikumuona. Nikajikuta natamani weekend ifike nimuone tena, sio kwa ubaya, ila niliinjoy zile conversations. Halafu pia, nilikua napenda jinsi anavyojiamini, yes she is young bt ni mtu ambaye hana ule uoga wa kitanzania, anaconfidence na akiwa anakuhoji maswali yake ya kiudadisi hakwepeshi macho, anakutazama direct kwenye mboni zako, unajikuta wewe ndo unakwepesha macho.

Na kweli jumamosi akaja. Ila alikua kama hajakimaliza kitabu, yaani ile ameingia ndani kapitiliza kwenye kochi kakaa then kafungua kitabu akawa anakisoma. Kuangalia alikua amebakiza page chache amalize. Nikaona na mm niendeleze kitabu changu, by now nlikua nasoma kitabu cha John Grisham, ‘the rain maker’. Nikiwa nasoma huku nnapata kinywaji changu pendwa, mm nakiitaga ndege (the famous grouse),. She is a student so I didn’t even bother to offer her a glass.

Baada ya muda namuona amemaliza kusoma alafu ananiangalia. “Don’t ever give a book of this kind to me again” akaniambia kwa sauti isiyo ya ukali lakini yenye userious. Why?, “last night I slept at 4.30am, and I cried a lot” akanijibu huku akielekea kwenye shelf la vitabu.

Akarudi kwenye kiti akiwa ameshika kile kitabu alichonikuta nakisoma last week. “whats your name?” akaniuliza, nikamtajia, nikamuuliza pia jina lake, aliponijibu ndo nikaunganisha dots ambazo wewe msomaji ushaziunganisha tayari. Anaitwa Norah Mekonnen (somo lingine kwa.mabaharia, ukimuuliza binti jina akakujibu kwa majina mawili jua huyo bado mwanafunzi kihalisia na pia ktk haya mambo)

Alivyotaja jina nikawa kama nimeduwaa. Baada ya sekunde ndo kuanza kumhoji vizuri, akasema ndiyo, ni mtoto wa Rona, yani ni mtoto wa boss Rona, mtoto wa mwanamke nnayejilia kama mke wangu. Dah!, na binti naye kaanza kunihoji pale nafahamiana vipi na mama yake, nikasema ni boss wangu, akajidai kuniuliza pale kama she is a good boss, nikamwambia she is the best,

alivyosikia hivyo akatabasamu then akanambia, “my mother is the most amazing woman I have ever met, I love her to death, and I am happy that she is my best friend, maana mama yangu bado kijana so we hang out and we talk abt everything, she is amazing”.

Alivyokua anamdescribe mama yake, nikajikuta napandisha midadi, ukichanganya na ulevi niliokua natumia, nikajikuta nachukua simu namtumia ujumbe boss Ronna.

[i know weekends ni muda unakuwa na familia yako, bt I need your body boss, pls njoo bila chupi], baada ya muda nasikia milio ya msg zinaingia bt hata sikuziangalia.
Norah akawa ananihoji pale khs what I studied, nikawa namjibu. Then kaniuliza plans zangu, nikajikuta naropoka tu, “after 5 years I will start my own company”, wow! Akajikuta ametamka, then akawa ananipongeza kwa vision na nini hahaha.

Mara ngo ngo ngo, dogo kaenda kufungua, uso kwa uso na mama yake. Baadae nlikuja kufahamu mama yake alikua anajua binti amekuja kwangu kurudisha kitabu na kuchukua kingine, kimsingi Ronna hakua na wasiwasi na mimi, she thought im a good boy and wont **** a teenager hahahaha.

Boss Ronna akamwambia dogo arudi home maana kuna issue mimi na yeye tunatakiwa tudiscuss abt work. Wakati anaondoka akaniaga, “Bye Bro” mm nikamjibu ‘by Kiddo’. Yaan mpaka leo ananiita bro, na mm namwita kiddo hahahaha.

Norah alivyosepa, boss Ronna kanifuata nlipo. Nlikua nimekaa kwenye office chair, akanikalia na kuanza kula denda. Kumpapasa ndani ya gauni naona sigusi chupi, yaani nakutana direct na nyama za tako. Ayah, yah, yah, yah, yah, yah. Akiwa bado anahangaika na lips, nikafungua zipu ya jeans nliyokua nimevaa, dushe nikaitoa then nikaiweka usawa wa nanlii. Kuisugua sugua kwenye kitumbua naona boss kaishika kailengesha then kaisokomeza. Meeeeeen. I lasted very few takos. Maana she knows how to shake that waist…

Kiga!

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Hahhahhahah...Salute mkuu.

Mwendelezo[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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[fuentte]

Juzi nimekutana na demu kwenye daladala nikabahatika kukaa naye siti moja.
Wazo la uzi wa rikkiboy likanijia kuwa nitest zali hapa. Changamoto iliyokuwepo ni umbali mfupi na nilipokuwa nashukia mimi,nisingeweza kumtongoza ndani ya muda mfupi hivyo akanielewa. Nikaona niombe namba ili mengine niyamalize kwenye simu. Nikamsemesha akawa anajibu vizuri tu,nilipofikia kuomba namba ya simu mdada akawa ananiangalia tu halafu anacheka. Nikahisi huyu ashapita kwenye uzi pendwa hivyo anazijua mbinu zote. Nikamuomba anielekeze atakapokuwa ili nikipata nafasi nije kumuona akasema siwezi kumpata kabisa.
Wadau nilifeli wapi kula kimasihara hapa?

 

[Nguniani]

Chai.

Ya mam ako au?

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[Proffesor]

Juzi nimekutana na demu kwenye daladala nikabahatika kukaa naye siti moja.
Wazo la uzi wa rikkiboy likanijia kuwa nitest zali hapa. Changamoto iliyokuwepo ni umbali mfupi na nilipokuwa nashukia mimi,nisingeweza kumtongoza ndani ya muda mfupi hivyo akanielewa. Nikaona niombe namba ili mengine niyamalize kwenye simu. Nikamsemesha akawa anajibu vizuri tu,nilipofikia kuomba namba ya simu mdada akawa ananiangalia tu halafu anacheka. Nikahisi huyu ashapita kwenye uzi pendwa hivyo anazijua mbinu zote. Nikamuomba anielekeze atakapokuwa ili nikipata nafasi nije kumuona akasema siwezi kumpata kabisa.
Wadau nilifeli wapi kula kimasihara hapa?

Ungemlipia mahari

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