Wakinamama wanaolea watoto bila baba (single mothers): Sababu, athari kwa mtoto, changamoto na mitazamo ya jamii

[MWANA ileje]

Single mother ndio wanaolewa sana katika karne hizi kuliko hao mnaowaona ndio wako royal
nimeshuhudia ndoa kama tatu nne hivi na still wamedumu na wanapendana sana

pia single mother sio kwamba walikuwa wanasoko then wakakosa soko umewapa tafasiri ya tofauti kabisaaa
nadhani ndio maana umekuwa na fikra kama hizo
but all in all ulilosema lipo ila ni kwa wale tunasema vicheche kama ulivyosema pia ni asilimia ndogo sana kwa ulilosema
pia say sorry to single mother hawapo namna hiyo unavyowapa tafasiri hiyo

nilipata mwanamke wa kwanza alijitegesha mimba nimuoe but msimamo ulikuwa nikwamba mimba sio kigezo aliolewa ana mtoto wa pili now
Nilipata mtoto wa kirangi huyu aliolewa na mimba yangu kabisaaa na mtu mwingin

but watoto niliwachukua so mimi pia ni sigle father ila uewanukuu vibaya sana kuna factors nyingi sana zinasababisha kuwa single mothers kama mbili hizo hapo juu

Sijui nite povu Sijui stress......hiyo research yako itakuwa ya koromije huko yan unadai single mum ndo wanaolewa zaid skuiz kuliko wan awake wasio mas ingle mumy...u r trying to turn the world up side down eeeeee yan m2 aache k2 OG aende kuoa kitu used

 

[Extrovert]

soma vzr coment yangu uelewe nilichosema mkuu,
mtazamo wako usitake uwe wa wote, kuna wengine wanawakandia masingle mother humu alafu ndo waliowaoa hao hao (nina ushahidi), wengine dada zao single mother, wengine mama zao single mother wamelelewa na huyo single mother mpaka leo wanajiita wanaume...

huo ni ukweli wako wewe na akili yako ndo inakuaminisha hivyo mkuu na fyi am a happy married with two beautiful kids so serve ur sorry for urself

note: a real and matured gentleman will never talk shit about single mother,

Personally mi sikandii single mother yeyote na kama ni mapenzi kama anakuwa kafikia vigezo vyangu naoa tu maana kuna circumstance nyingi tu katika maisha.

Sio kila single mom alikuwa malaya ama ana tabia za kishenzi, wengine ni result ya kufanya wrong choices tu katika maisha yao ya mahusiano ama ndoa. Just imagine mtu ameolewa na mwanaume mpuuzi tu...

I have a real story about my 2 beautiful sisters waliopata wanaume wa kinyaki, wote wako well off and very understanding women.

Mwanaume wa kwanza alikuwa ni Tiss yeye kachezea mashine miaka 6 akajitambulisha halafu akatia goli moja ila akawa haeleweki na mpango wa kuoa bi dada akapiga chini. Ameolewa na jamaa mwengine akapigwa goli 2 sahivi maisha yanaenda safi mno jamaa yuko njema sana anakula bata huku dada romantic na ana mawe ya kutosha. Ndio maana nasemaga sitaki KE maskini jamani.

Jamaa wa pili ni Lecturer MWEKAU amechezea mashine 3 years akatia goli 1 na kuleta mahari. Baada ya hapo ka stack hamna analofanya zaidi ya kumstress bi dada aliekuwa na uchu wa kuvaa shela kisa kashalipa mahari. Uzuri mungu amenijalia dada vichwa, alipovuta first class yake na CPA akatupwa TRA HQ chap akiwa pale ndio akakutana na jamaa mwengine alie serious na kutaka mke ikalipwa mahari ingine na wahuni tukala pilau chap kwa ukali. Mpaka sasa ameongeza raia wawili na maisha yanasonga freshi tu na senior mwenzie pale.

Another one yupo mamtoni nae ameolewa mapema sana but after 10 years she is now 31 amedivorce na jamaa wake, mnyaki maana amelelewa na mama na mjomba wake wote wanyaki. Huyo jamaa amekuwa akifichiwa udhaifu for all those good years. Sis kamenyeka kama man of the show toka bongo mpaka mtoni akamfanyia mpango jamaa aende na watoto wakaendeleze maisha mamtoni. Jamaa kaleta upumbavu at last baada ya kuruhusu cousin sister wake aingilie uhusiano wake na mkewe kwa mambo ya kimbea. Sis akaanza kupigwa vita baridi na wifi na mama mkwe wake. Jamaa kashindwa kusimama katika nafasi yake sista kamkacha. But najua nae akikutana na mtu makini ataolewa tena chap tu.

So hizi ni relevant stories ambazo naweza kuzitumia kama grounds za kuwatetea single moms. Ni vitu vimetokea kwa uhalisia kabisa na kimsingi sio kila single mother alikuwa malaya nakiri. Na walioupata huo usingle mom bila kustahili mungu huwa anafanya nuru kwao na wanapata waume fresh maisha yanasonga.

 

[MWANA ileje]

First of all asilimia kubwa ya single mothers ni mademu waliokuwaga hot sana kabla hawajawa single mothers.

Whe she was hot usingeweza kuwa nae kwa sababu wewe hukuwa class yake. Still ur not her class.

Anapo kuwa single mother wale wanaume ambao walikuwa class yake wana mkacha.

Hawawezi tena kuwa nae kwa sababu they think she is no longer their class.


Mentality ya mwanaume anae muoa single mother:

Hawa ni wanaume ambao wanapenda kuoa wanawake wenye kasoro au mapungufu ili waweze kuzitumia kasoro hizo au mapungufu hayo kuwatawala vizuri.

Atataka aoe mwanamke ambae amesoma mpaka darasa la saba kwa sababu ana amini atampelekesha na kumburuza and she will remain loyal to him.


Atataka kuoa mwanamke anae toka kwenye familia ya kimasikini ilu aweze kumnyanyasa vizuri.

Atataka aoe mwanamke aliye zalishwa na mwanaume au wanaume wengine kwa sababu ana amini mwanamke huyo anakuwa hana chaguo lingine so atamtawala vizuri.


What happen when mwanaume mwenye mentality hii anapo amua kumuoa single mother?

Mwanaume mwenye mentality hii anapo muoa single mother huwa anaamini kuwa single mother huyo atakuwa loyal sana kwake but matokeo huwa kinyume chake kwa sababu ifuatayo.


A woman will be loyal to u because of two reasons:

1. Whe she thinks u have other better options than her.

2. When she doesn't have any other better options than you.( Wanaume wengi wanao wachukua single mother huwa wana calitalize kwenye fact hii)


All these two facts co exist.


If u marry a single mother she thinks u dont have any other better option than her kwa sababu kama ungekuwa na other better option usinge weza kumuoa yeye ambae amezaa mtoto na mwanaume mwingine. She thinks una mapungufu fulani ndio maana umeshindwa kuoa mwanamke ambae hana mtoto.

Hapo ndo mwanamke huyo anaposhindwa kuwa loyal kwako kwa kiwango ambacho ulikitarajia.

Kumbuka when ur going to marry a single mother ur not going to " start " a family with her . Actually ur going to " join" her family which constitute of her and her kid
(s).

A really man will need to start his own family and not to join another family and when ur blind enough to think that it is ur family u will end up on being a stranger in ur own family.

Tuchukulie mfano wa Zari na Diamond kama wangeoana, would u say that Diamond has started a family with Zari or he has just join Zari's family?

Hakunaga mwanaume mwenye dream za kumuoa single mother. Ulipokuwa kidato cha nne wakati akili yako bado haijawa corrupted hukuwa una dream za kuoa single mother.

Wazo la kumuoa single mother huwa linaletwa na the bad part of ur brain ambayo huwa inakuwa activated when ur brain is corrupted.

Single mother wanalijua hilo ndio maana wakiona mwanaume anataka kuwaoa wanamuona muona na yeye ana mapungufu au kasoro fulani sasa unapoenda kumuoa single mother huku ukiwa na wazo mfu kwamba utaenda kumnyanyasa kwa sababu yeye ni single mother unakuwa ni sawa na mwanafunzi ambae ame learn it the opposite way , u will be bound to fail.

Unaweza kumnyanyasa mwanamke ambae sio single mother na akaendelea kukuvumilia kwa sababu ya kuogopa kuwa single mother lakini huwezi kumnyanyasa single mother kwa sababu most of them.are so good in being single mothers and they don't give a damn about being single mothers ndio maana wengi wao hawadumu kwenye ndoa au mahusiano.

Do ur own research..mifano mingine ipo wazi: Zari, Anti Ezekiel, Hamisa Mobetto, Shamsa Ford, Kajala na wengine wa mtaani kwenu na ofisini kwenu ambao najua unawajua wengi tu.

SULUHISHO: UKIMUOA SINGLE MOTHER USIMNYANYASE KWA KUTUMIA KIGEZO CHA USINGO MAZA WAKE NA USITEGEMEE ATAKUONYESHA UTIIFU USIO WA KAWAIDA KWA SABABU YEYE NI SINGLE MOTHER. USIWE NA MENTALITY LIKE " DAH YANI HUYU MWANAMKE ANAWEZA KUNIJIBU HIVYO!!! MWANAMKE MWENYEWE NIMEMKUTA TAYARI AMEZALISHWA MTOTO!!! AMD BLAH BLAH BLAH"

ISHI NAE VIZURI KWA SABABU HATA YEYE KIMOYO MOYO ANAKUONA UNA MAPUNGUFU NA KASORO KWA SABABU KAMA UNGEKUWA HUNA MAPUNGUFU NA KASORO UNGEENDA KUOA MWANAMKE AMBAE SIO SINGO MOTHER.

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[Zuriel_cfc]

Personally mi sikandii single mother yeyote na kama ni mapenzi kama anakuwa kafikia vigezo vyangu naoa tu maana kuna circumstance nyingi tu katika maisha.

Sio kila single mom alikuwa malaya ama ana tabia za kishenzi, wengine ni result ya kufanya wrong choices tu katika maisha yao ya mahusiano ama ndoa. Just imagine mtu ameolewa na mwanaume mpuuzi tu...

I have a real story about my 2 beautiful sisters waliopata wanaume wa kinyaki, wote wako well off and very understanding women.

Mwanaume wa kwanza alikuwa ni Tiss yeye kachezea mashine miaka 6 akajitambulisha halafu akatia goli moja ila akawa haeleweki na mpango wa kuoa bi dada akapiga chini. Ameolewa na jamaa mwengine akapigwa goli 2 sahivi maisha yanaenda safi mno jamaa yuko njema sana anakula bata huku dada romantic na ana mawe ya kutosha. Ndio maana nasemaga sitaki KE maskini jamani.

Jamaa wa pili ni Lecturer MWEKAU amechezea mashine 3 years akatia goli 1 na kuleta mahari. Baada ya hapo ka stack hamna analofanya zaidi ya kumstress bi dada aliekuwa na uchu wa kuvaa shela kisa kashalipa mahari. Uzuri mungu amenijalia dada vichwa, alipovuta first class yake na CPA akatupwa TRA HQ chap akiwa pale ndio akakutana na jamaa mwengine alie serious na kutaka mke ikalipwa mahari ingine na wahuni tukala pilau chap kwa ukali. Mpaka sasa ameongeza raia wawili na maisha yanasonga freshi tu na senior mwenzie pale.

Another one yupo mamtoni nae ameolewa mapema sana but after 10 years she is now 31 amedivorce na jamaa wake, mnyaki maana amelelewa na mama na mjomba wake wote wanyaki. Huyo jamaa amekuwa akifichiwa udhaifu for all those good years. Sis kamenyeka kama man of the show toka bongo mpaka mtoni akamfanyia mpango jamaa aende na watoto wakaendeleze maisha mamtoni. Jamaa kaleta upumbavu at last baada ya kuruhusu cousin sister wake aingilie uhusiano wake na mkewe kwa mambo ya kimbea. Sis akaanza kupigwa vita baridi na wifi na mama mkwe wake. Jamaa kashindwa kusimama katika nafasi yake sista kamkacha. But najua nae akikutana na mtu makini ataolewa tena chap tu.

So hizi ni relevant stories ambazo naweza kuzitumia kama grounds za kuwatetea single moms. Ni vitu vimetokea kwa uhalisia kabisa na kimsingi sio kila single mother alikuwa malaya nakiri. Na walioupata huo usingle mom bila kustahili mungu huwa anafanya nuru kwao na wanapata waume fresh maisha yanasonga.

there u are..
atleast we still have understand men like u..
yaani mi huwa nashangaa sana wanaume wanaowakandia na kudharau single mom kila siku humu jamvini, ni upumbavu wa hali ya juu kwakweli.

na vp khs single father? nao ni viwembe au mafisi?

 

[Zuriel_cfc]

View attachment 1134172

na wewe unajiita mwanaume kabisa mbele za watu? shame

 

[Extrovert]

Rate ya single parenting nadhani inaongezeka kila mwaka, sababu hasa ni nini? Tunapoelekea tutakuwa kama western world, wao kwa sasa wanaachana sana, ndoa zao hazidumu. Kwa nini kuna wanaume wanaona kuoa/kuishi na single mother ni mkosi au balaa?

Maisha ni vile utaamua wewe kuishi, unachokiona bora kwako, hakika kwa wengine hata hakina nafasi. Kila mtu aishi kwa mtazamo wake, ili mradi you're not interfering with others' life.

Ni kasumba tu hizo, halafu hio rate ya kuachana siku hizi ni kupingana na customs za asili yetu ya Afrika. Biashara ya kutukuza wanawake ilishakatazwa hata na vitabu vya dini ila watu wamekomalia huo ujinga.

A woman has to be led

 

[Extrovert]

x

there u are..
atleast we still have understand men like u..
yaani mi huwa nashangaa sana wanaume wanaowakandia na kudharau single mom kila siku humu jamvini, ni upumbavu wa hali ya juu kwakweli.

na vp khs single father? nao ni viwembe au mafisi?

Single fathers nao kama sio kufiwa na mke basi huwa wanapataga wrong choices za wanawake kwa tamaa ya ngono au nyege. Unaweza kuta umetmbana na baamedi, beki 3 au mwanafunzi bila mpango ukamtia mimba.

Kwakua tuna uwezo wa kukubali au kukimbia tunaweza amua lolote, its a result of stupidity lakini. Thats why me silali na mwanamke ambae sina hisia nae.

 

[MWANA ileje]

na wewe unajiita mwanaume kabisa mbele za watu? shame

 

[Zuriel_cfc]

x

Single fathers nao kama sio kufiwa na mke basi huwa wanapataga wrong choices za wanawake kwa tamaa ya ngono au nyege. Unaweza kuta umetmbana na baamedi, beki 3 au mwanafunzi bila mpango ukamtia mimba.

Kwakua tuna uwezo wa kukubali au kukimbia tunaweza amua lolote, its a result of stupidity lakini. Thats why me silali na mwanamke ambae sina hisia nae.

thas good

 

[MWANA ileje]

Hapa duniani hakuna mwanamke mwenye kutaman kuolewa kama single mother yan wanawazd ata wale ambao sio single mothers

 

[Extrovert]

Kwahyo unataka kutuambia wanaume wa kinyaq ni ma womaniser au? What if hao dadazako walikuwa ndo tatzo.....omeongelea upande m1 kwakuwa defend hao wadada kama vile wao ni malaika.
MAMBO YA WAWILI SKUZOTE NI NGUMU KUYATATUA

Hao jamaa ni stupid tu from the core!

Tumejaribu kusuluhisha hio migogoro na katika pande zote wanaume ndio wameonekana wapuuzi! Wanyakyusa wanajionaga smart katika kila kitu ila wame prove weakness in every angle of raising arguments and facts. Wako kama kondoo alilosema na kutaka mama au dada ndio hilo hilo ukoo mzima utafata hata kama ni upuuzi!

Hivi unaweza oa mke ukakaa nae kwa mamaako for 9 years huku yeye akikulisha wewe na mamaako?

Unaweza lipia mahari mchumba ukakaa nae kwako zaidi ya mwaka huku ukikwepa kumuoa kwa kiburi kwamba umemzalisha hatakuwa na pakwenda na unaspend mda mwingi kazini mkoa tofauti na ulipomuacha? Mbaya zaidi ukirudi huna time nae. Huyu jamaa alichanganyikiwa baada ya mke kusepa.

Hebu tetea bila kuwa biased!

 

[B'REAL]

true true...naunga mkono hojaa[ila na wazaa hawa ma girl nilio wazalisha alfu mi nikaowa mwingine,je ndo nimearibu future yao kihivi...Mungu nisameheeee

 

[Fmruma]

Ni ukwel usiopingika kuwa kijana ukienda nyumban kutambulisha mke mtarajiwa halafu wazazi wajue huyo mke ameshazalishwa na so far alie mzalisha yupo hai yani watadiscuss sana kuwa kijana wetu kapatwa na nn..ni kama vile kuoa mke mwenye umri mkubwa ... ukiona single mother ujue either huyo mama au bwana wake mmoja ni tatizo so lazima uwe makini la sivyo utapata tabu sana..(fupa lililomshinda fisi)imagine single mother ana watoto wa 3 kila mtoto na baba yake lazima kabla hujaoa pitia profile vzr la sivyo utakua ka single father..[emoji2]so alie leta uzi asilaumiwe japo si lazima aliyosema yawe hvyo japo na ukwel pia kausema..kuna jamaa aliona single mother tena ana umri mkubwa unajua hadi ndugu wa upande wa mwanamke walikua wanajiuliza jamaa anaujasiri gani yani hata ndugu wakiume wa mwanamke wanasema inataka moyo..[emoji16][emoji16]all in all wapo walio happy na single mother na wapo ambao wanalia na vigoli wao

 

[KijanaHuru]

Sijui nite povu Sijui stress......hiyo research yako itakuwa ya koromije huko yan unadai single mum ndo wanaolewa zaid skuiz kuliko wan awake wasio mas ingle mumy...u r trying to turn the world up side down eeeeee yan m2 aache k2 OG aende kuoa kitu used

Ukishajua ndoa ni nini utaelewa namaanisha nini
kwasasa unaendeshwa na hisia za kichuochuo kama sijakosea mnaota ndoto nyingi sana kama mnaishi peponi vile
ngoja ukue kue kidogo utaelewa tu

Unakumbuka ukiwa mdogo sana uliambiwa ukikua utajua? Unadhani utajua ni magorofa?
subiria tu utajua nini kinaongelewa

pia hatuangalii kipi ni ktu og tunaangalia nani anafaa kuwa mke
na ninakukumbusha tu wasichana ni wengi sana ila wanawake ni wachache na kupata mke ni adimu zaidi ya unavyofikiria

 

[DiasporaUSA]

Ukishajua ndoa ni nini utaelewa namaanisha nini
kwasasa unaendeshwa na hisia za kichuochuo kama sijakosea mnaota ndoto nyingi sana kama mnaishi peponi vile
ngoja ukue kue kidogo utaelewa tu

Unakumbuka ukiwa mdogo sana uliambiwa ukikua utajua? Unadhani utajua ni magorofa?
subiria tu utajua nini kinaongelewa

pia hatuangalii kipi ni ktu og tunaangalia nani anafaa kuwa mke
na ninakukumbusha tu wasichana ni wengi sana ila wanawake ni wachache na kupata mke ni adimu zaidi ya unavyofikiria

Nao wakamuliza mwalimu wao.

Je sisi vijana tufanye nini ili tuweze kuwapata wanawake wa kweli ambao ni bidhaa adimu ?

 

[DiasporaUSA]

Ni kasumba tu hizo, halafu hio rate ya kuachana siku hizi ni kupingana na customs za asili yetu ya Afrika. Biashara ya kutukuza wanawake ilishakatazwa hata na vitabu vya dini ila watu wamekomalia huo ujinga.

A woman has to be led

Kila siku wanahubiri haki sawa kwa wote.
Picture 20 years to come tutakuwa na kizazi cha aina gani.

 

[DiasporaUSA]

Hao jamaa ni stupid tu from the core!

Tumejaribu kusuluhisha hio migogoro na katika pande zote wanaume ndio wameonekana wapuuzi! Wanyakyusa wanajionaga smart katika kila kitu ila wame prove weakness in every angle of raising arguments and facts. Wako kama kondoo alilosema na kutaka mama au dada ndio hilo hilo ukoo mzima utafata hata kama ni upuuzi!

Hivi unaweza oa mke ukakaa nae kwa mamaako for 9 years huku yeye akikulisha wewe na mamaako?

Unaweza lipia mahari mchumba ukakaa nae kwako zaidi ya mwaka huku ukikwepa kumuoa kwa kiburi kwamba umemzalisha hatakuwa na pakwenda na unaspend mda mwingi kazini mkoa tofauti na ulipomuacha? Mbaya zaidi ukirudi huna time nae. Huyu jamaa alichanganyikiwa baada ya mke kusepa.

Hebu tetea bila kuwa biased!

Kwa narration uliyoitoa ina portray kwamba hao wanyaki hawakuwa wamejiandaa kulea familia zao.

 

[KijanaHuru]

Nao wakamuliza mwalimu wao.

Je sisi vijana tufanye nini ili tuweze kuwapata wanawake wa kweli ambao ni bidhaa adimu ?

Kuweni wakweli na kuishi katika uhalisia mkiishi kama wanaume na uanaume wenu utadhihirika
Nyuki haambiwi hili ua limekwisha kuchanua, hunusa harufu na kulifuata

 

[KijanaHuru]

Kwa narration uliyoitoa ina portray kwamba hao wanyaki hawakuwa wamejiandaa kulea familia zao.

Atuombe radhi wanyaki hatupo hivyo, wala hakuna maisha ya namna hiyo
mwambie sisi tumeanzia kitu tunaita iklumyana unaanza kuishi peke yako nje ya nyumba ya mzazi wako ukishakuwa na miaka 12 tu na kuendela

labda walaikuwa na madhaifu yao wao binafsi na kachukulia kama ndio msingi na uhalisia wa wanyakyusa but all in all hawapo hivyo

mchaga mmoja aliyekosa shepu hafanyi wachaga wote kutokuwa na shepu na mnyakyusa mmoja mwenye msambwanda kama ant ezekieli hafanyi wanawake wote wakinyakusa kuwa na misambwanda

 

[Extrovert]

Kila siku wanahubiri haki sawa kwa wote.
Picture 20 years to come tutakuwa na kizazi cha aina gani.

Vizazi vitakuwa vya hovyo tu kama ilivyo kwa black Americans wengi. Single mama raising gays & thugs