Wakinamama wanaolea watoto bila baba (single mothers): Sababu, athari kwa mtoto, changamoto na mitazamo ya jamii

Wakinamama wanaolea watoto bila baba (single mothers): Sababu, athari kwa mtoto, changamoto na mitazamo ya jamii

Marianah said:
Umeona eenh?? Na wanaume ndiyo wanaongoza kwa kuukataa ukweli wanataka wanawake ndiyo tukubali kuwa sisi ndiyo chanzo cha matatizo yote kwenye jamii ila wao hawana hatia kabisa!!
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Mimi nina mpango na wewe ujue ?
 
Mzigua90 said:
Mayai hayaishi kirahisi sema bwana mimba za kwenye ndoa zinakuaga na mbwembwe kweli.
Anaweza akafika muda anataka kuzaa sasa kila akijaribu waapi.
Nishamwambia azae kabla kizazi hakijalegea maana amefikia hatua anatoa mimba kwa msamba [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
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Kutoa mimba kwa msamba?[emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28][emoji28]. Yaani akichana msamba inatoka?
 
Marianah said:
Wewe na Kiranga huwa mnayumba kwenye maswala ya imani ila kwenye maswala ya mahusiano huwa mnajielewa sana (no offense though)

Haya endeleeni kuwaelimisha hao wavulana wanaojiita mabaharia halafu na wao wanajiona ni wanaume siyo kosa lao maana hata vichaa nao hawataki kukubali kuwa wao ni vichaa na huwa wanajiona wako timamu
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Sisi wengine tunaishi na familia zetu ndio maana tunaujua ukweli. Yaani hatubahatishi.

Ila kuniambia kwamba nina yumba kwenye Imani,lazima nikutafute aisee,hili ni deni,lazima unilipe.
 
Pablo Blanco said:
sasa hapo ni upande wa wanawake,kila siku ni wanaume tu ambao hawataki single mothers, wanawake hawapigi kelele kwamba haifai kuolewa na single fathers,ngoja tusubiri maoni ya wanawake
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Wakisema si ndiyo kama hivyo mnapinga mnakuja na kauli zenu zile eti ooh mwanamke hatakiwi kujilinganisha na mwanaume
 
munisijo said:
Ahaaa haaaa ... pole sana pia kama base line yako ni mawazo ya ma single maza. All in all, ujumbe wangu ni kuwa penda na kuwajali watoto wako kwa nguvu na akili zako zote na usijifiche kwenye kichaka cha biological parents, we all judge and be judged.

Na ndio maana ukiacha wazazi we still have others we love dearly and cant trade them with anything, kuna ndugu, jamaa na hata marafiki ambao nafasi zao ni za juu sana na hasa kama you have biological parents who was abusive and responsible.
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Una disregard mawazo ya masingle moms ambao ndio walengwa wakuu halafu unajitia kisebu sebu cha kusimamia vi-logic uchwara ulivyojiwekea halafu unajiona una akiluli?

Kwanza kitendo cha wewe kusema " being a parent doesn't necessarily need to be biological father of the kid" kinachokuonesha ni jinsi gani ulivyokuwa naive na unfamiliar kwa wanawake.

Mimi kukwambia uende kwenye hiyo mada nilitaka uende ukajionee tu mawazo ya wanawake single mothers jinsi inavyokinzana na hiki unachokiamini.

Lakini hata hivyo wanaume kama nyie lazima muwepo hili single mothers wapate mtu wa kumu exploit
 
Marianah

Kwanza nimegundua kuwa huna elimu ya lugha ndio maana unayumba.

Unaposema Wanaume nao ni bikra unakuwa na tatizo moja la Msingi. Nalo ni upungufu wa elimu.

Kama ungesoma Semantiki katika lugha ungeelewa nini kinazungumziwa lakini kutokana na ubishi wako unalia lia humu.

Nimekupa maana ya Bikra kulingana na Wikipidia. Nimetoa Maana ya bikra kulingana na Oxord living dictionary.

Kama ungesoma lugha kwa ngazi ya kidato cha sita tuu usingeshindwa kuelewa mambo madogo kama Hayo

Mwisho nasisitiza kama wewe na wenzako na mwanamke yoyote yule ambaye alitolewa bikra kabla ya ndoa huyo ni malaya.

Hivyo ndivyo utakavyochukuliwa na ndivyo ulivyo hata kama hupendi kusikia hivyo.
 
Pablo Blanco said:
sasa hapo ni upande wa wanawake,kila siku ni wanaume tu ambao hawataki single mothers, wanawake hawapigi kelele kwamba haifai kuolewa na single fathers,ngoja tusubiri maoni ya wanawake
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Let's talk as mature people and look into the bigger picture. Sidhani kama kuitwa single mom au kukataliwa is such a big deal compared na effects anazopata mtoto. If you are a responsible man who was raised well and knows the value of a family; being a single dad isn't something you would wish even if no one is going to point a finger at you. Kwa sababu katika yote hata mwisho wa siku victim mkuu hapa ni mtoto. Baba unaweza kuoa; mama anaweza kuolewa lakini kwa mtoto kuna vitu tu vitamfuata kwa sababu tu ni mtoto wa nje.

Afu huku kwetu co-parenting sio rahisi sana; lazima utaishia kustick na watoto wa ndani; wa nje unabaki kuwa "seasonal parent". Ukioa/kuolewa mawasiliano na mzazi mwenzio inabidi yapungue haswa kama sio kukoma; kama unataka kuishi kwa amani na kuaminika kwa mwenzio. So mtoto ndo anayeumia hapa; lazima atampoteza mzazi mmoja; hatuna ile malezi 50/50 kwa wazazi wote.

Imagine wewe ni mtoto unaishi na mama ameolewa na ana watoto wa ndoa; there is a certain way tu utafeel like you don't belong there completely. Siku ukienda kwa Baba unamkuta na watoto wake wa ndoa; na huko kuna hali fulani tu ya kujiona kama unakosa umiliki 100%; kwa wazazi wote upo nje ndani. Wakija ndugu wa mzazi wa kambo; watakukumbusha tu kuwa wewe sio damu yao. Imagine watoto wa nje wanavyosuffer ikija kwenye issue za mirathi; hata kama ni haki yao bado wanaonekana kama ndo tatizo kwa familia.

Kama haitoshi watoto wengine wanapelekwa kulelewa kwa bibi sijui mama mkubwa etc; ili mzazi akaishi kwa amani kwenye ndoa yake; unaweza kuhisi ni nini kinajengeka kwenye akili ya huyu mtoto; yeye ni mbaya kwenye ndoa za wazazi wake ndo maana akaachwa kwa mlezi mwingine au ni vipi?

Narudia tena ukiwa mwanaume responsible na umelelewa vyema na wazazi wako; obviously utawish kufanya the same and more kwa mtoto wako. (Most of times; you can't give what you don't have). Imagine being a seasonal father kwa mwanao; kwa mwaka mnaonana mara moja au mbili au msionane kabisa; he/she is raised by someone else, another man matters the most to your child than you do; sijui kama haitokuumiza. So even if no woman is going to reject you; at least be responsible for the welfare of your children. Na hata kama hutokuwa rejected; how can you guarantee the welfare of your kid(s) kwa huyo mke utakayemuoa? Ni watoto wangapi wanasuffer kwenye mikono ya mama wa kambo/abusive step dads na wanashindwa hata kusema? Wapende wanao; waepushe na unnecessary complications
 
Umeongea points mkuu.
Ukioa single mother umeoa mke wa mwanaume mwenzako mda wowote anapasha kiporo
 
Marianah said:
Sasa mbona hata wanawake tukianzisha nyuzi za hivyo wanaume mnazipinga tena badala ya kuja na hoja mnakuja na matusi??
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Lini hiyo?

Na kama wanapinga kipi cha ajabu? Mbona hata nyie hapa mnapinga?
 
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