JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

Fundi seremala kamfumania jamaa kwa mkewe,kamkamata mwizi wake kampeleka karakana,kaishika nanihii yake kaibana na vice,kaenda kuchukua msumeno,jamaa kumuona fundi kashika msumeno analia...

"Our beer, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, at home as it is in public. Forgive us this day our daily spillage As we forgive those who spillest...

Bora siku hizi kuna haya mambo ya Ujasiriamali, jamani kuomba kazi kwa lugha isiyo yako kazi kweli , hebu soma hii cv ya huyu jamaa anayeomba kazi ya ulinzi alivyojitutumua kwenye ung'eng'e.

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."...

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please? Old Man: Certainly not. Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,if you tell me the time? Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I...

THE DOCTOR because he says, "Take off your clothes." THE DENTIST because he says, "Open wide." THE HAIRDRESSER because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?" THE MILKMAN because he says...

Salaam mama Maria (Chitanda), mama uliyejaa kisirani, umelaaniwa kuliko wanawake wote, na CCM uliye mzao wa tumbo lake amelaaniwa.

Three Insurance salesmen were having drinks and boasting about each companies' service. The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and...

Kuna mjamzito mmoja alinunua embe alivyokuwa wametoka kutembea na best yake alivofika home akaliweka kwny fridge kisha akalala mume wake akarudi toka ofcn akala embe la mkewe kisha akaondoka mdada...

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."...

Malaya akiwa uchi anamfuta dereva tax MALAYA:unashangaa nini?hujawahi kuona mwanamke yuko uchi? DEREVA:hapana,NAJIULIZA UMEIWEKA WAPI PESA YA KUNILIPA!

Leo nimeikumbuka hii nimecheka sana. Wakati tuko "O-Levo" enzi zile katika shule moja ya sekondari iliyopo kanda ya ziwa, kituko cha aina yake kilitukia siku moja mida ya saa tano baada ya...

SALES GIRL:sorry sir u cant smoke here! MAN:but i bought this cigarette from your shop! SALES GIRL:we also sell condoms,but it doesnt mean you start fu***ng us!

JOKE. Mtoto mmoja mwenye umri wa miaka 9 alikuwa anahitaji sana shilingi 100,000 (laki moja). Akamuuliza mama yake ni jinsi gani anaweza kupata pesa hizo. Mama yake akamwambia "muombe Mungu...

Kuna jamaa wawili,walikwenda kuwinda,mmoja alikuwa mtaalamu wa kulenga mwingine wa kuchuna,mtaalam wa kuchuna alibaki garini na mwenzake akashuka kuwinda,anakatiza kichakani mara simba...

Nimechunguza na kugundua kuna baadhi ya members hapa JF wanatumiwa na mafisadi kuwasafisha. Kwani wao always ni kutetea upuuzi tu....mfano ni 1-zomba 2-mwiba......mwenye kujua wengine wataje...

Wadau mnakumbuka kupigana siku ya kufunga shule enzi za mwalimu, ukigombana na mwenzio unamsubiri siku ya kufunga shule. Tukumbusha ulishawah kubondana siku kama hiyo.

With MONEY you can buy HOUSE but not HOME With MONEY you can buy CLOCK but not TIME With MONEY you can buy BED but not SLEEP With MONEY you can BUY BOOK but not KNOWLEDGE With MONEY you can buy...

Kuna mume na mke. Walienda shambani na kuukuta uyoga mzuri ila hawakuwa na uhakika km uyoga ule haukuwa na sumu. Walikubaliana kumpa mbwa ilikujiridhisha. Walipofika nyumbani walipika na kisha...