JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
The Dar es Salaam Regional Governor, Bill Lukuvi, and police Commander, Sule Kova giving an on-the-spot guidance to Temeke cab driver, Saidi on good nutrition. They told him to eat plenty of...
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BEFORE MARRIAGE: He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! Over and...
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A black guy and a white man were sitting in the park. The white man had a pet monkey and a black guy was selling bananas. So the black guy said "Mr. Can u look after my bananas I am going to...
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A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail...
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An airplane is flying over the United States of America at night. The Pilot say: "Ladies and Gentleman the plane is loosing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out". A little later ,the...
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Ever noticed how deleting one word after the other in a sentence can lead to a nice story? Here's an example: Oh John please don't touch me at all...! Oh John please don't touch...
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Wanawake hao walikutana kiwandani na kuwa marafiki kabla ya kugundua kuwa wameolewa na mume mmoja Tuesday, August 18, 2009 3:01 PM...
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Now there's a question you don't get too often... A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks...
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Oh Lord we humble ourselves to you this day and ask you to forgive us our sins, although we have none. This is because it is not us who killed Jesus,it was the whites. He was betrayed by white...
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Nyani Ngabu walked into the class every morning with a black eye. After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it. Ngabu's answer was, "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother...
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My next-door neighbour Mzee Kamau had an argument with his wife who got too angry, packed her bags and went back to her parents home. Unfortunately for Mrs. Kamau, she had to pass her...
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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are...
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A young businessman had just started his own law firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to look like...
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A woman’ garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won’t ripen. There’s a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she’s getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbour and...
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A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Hello, could you give me a condom. I'm going to my girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!" The pharmacist...
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We are gathered here in the presence of God and men to join these people in holy matrimony. We know they have been sleeping together in secret but now they can do it with the knowledge of...
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WHERE WERE YOU AT THAT TIME? Classic Dear Sugar Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing...
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A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that...
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A Mother had three virgin daughters.* *They were all getting married within a short time of period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all...
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When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask...
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