Mtihani wa Kiswahili.
SEHEMU E.
Eleza hatua za kuandaa Mdahalo.
Mwanafunzi kwa kutokujua maana ya Mdahalo akajibu hatua za kuandaa mdahalo kama ifuatavyo:
1.Unachukua mdahalo wako kisha...
Ukipita katika mitaa mingi ya miji utakuta vijana wameweka computer barazani mwa nyumba, wanaingiza nyimbo kwenye simu na kadhalika. Sasa najiuliza hivi ni lazima kufungulia muziki sauti ya juu...
Teacher: What is the opposite of laughing?
Student: fuc*king.!
Teacher: Shame on you! How is that?
Student: Laughing is ha ha ha ha and fuc*king.is ah ah ah ah!
Muarabu mmoja anaeitwa FARAJA alikuwa mbabe sana katika mtaa aliokuwa akiishi.Watu wote pale mtaani walikuwa wanamuogopa.Yaani hakawii kutoa kichapo kwa yeyote yule atakaye gombana naye.Siku moja...
Two women meet in the afterlife. Following is the
conversation they had.
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How...
Mume: Mimi ninakushangaa sana mke
wangu; kila mara unasema ooooh gari yangu,
mara watoto wangu, mara chumbani kwangu
n.k. "Nimeshakwambia wewe na mimi ni mke
na mume; kwa hiyo unatakiwa kusema...
Mke alimpa mmewe radio aende nayo
chooni ili asiboreke.
ALIPOTOKA
Mke; vipi ume enjoy?
Mume: Wajinga sana! Waliweka wimbo
wa taifa,nimekunya huku nimesimama :
Mbwa koko wawili walikuwa wanasaka
chakula kwenye jalala, mara ikapita Land Rover
ya FFU na ndani yake kuna mbwa wa polisi;
Mbwa koko mmoja akaangalia kwa uchungu
kisha akamwambia mwenzie, '...
Wadau wa Archuga heshma yenu,
Niko njian nakuja Arusha ntakuwa huko kwa mda kidogo kwa wale watakaopata nafasi si vibaya tukafahamiana na kubadilishana mawili matatu
Arusha si mgeni ila nikipata...
Babaake na suma lee mzee lee amekuja Tanzania leo jioni kutoka china. Mzee lee anawatoto wengine maarufu kama Jeti Lee, Bab Lee, ona umeanza ubishi wako
Hebu fikiria umeamka asubuhi, kisha hakuna hata maji ya kuoga unaamua kwenda kuchota maji ya kisima karibu na home ili uoge fasta fasta uwahi kazini. Unafika kisimani unakuta kumbe mtoto...
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