Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Ulweso said:

Hahaa haaa sasa hapo unapika nini alibakari [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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Ugali ni uji ulioganda na uji ni ugali tepetepe[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

Ugali ni uji ulioganda na uji ni ugali tepetepe[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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Sipati pic kitakachotoka hapo [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]

Ulweso said:

Sipati pic kitakachotoka hapo [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]

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Huna camera utapataje picha?[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

Huna camera utapataje picha?[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] sikuwezi kabisa ila nitatumia simu

Numbisa said:

A drunk man was struggling to open his room door with his key...as he staggered left & right.His neighbour asked him: "Sir can I help to open the door?"
Drunk: "don't worry yourself. Just help me hold the house straight,I will be able to open the door![emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

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Hahaha[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Dating an identical twin stops you from saying words like "no one is like you"
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Facebook Should Send Us Notifications Like: Fredrick & Amanda Have Broken Up U Can Make Your Move ASA[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Numbisa said:

Walim wa kiswahil huwa wanakutana na chngmoto kubwa sana wanaposahisha mitihan ya wanafunzia wao,ona hii:
Swali: Eleza hatua za kuandaa hotuba.
Mwanafunzi bila kujua hotuba ni nini akajibu hivi;
-kwanza ioshe hotuba yako vizur kisha imenye.
-katakata hotuba yko.
-washa moto na uweke sufuria.
-weka hotuba kweny sufuria na katia kitunguu kisha uweke na nyanya.
-


-baada ya dakika tano toa hotuba kwny moto na uandae.
-unaweza kula hotuba yko na ugali ama chapati.

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Weeeeeeeh Numbisa wapi wewee!! You have made my day[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Muhsiniina said:

in a kenyan tone

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hahahaha pumbav.!!

[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

Hapo ndio utajua kama Mtwara kuna Bahari lakini Wamakonde si watu wa Pwani

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Hii nilikuwa siijui

*Ugumu huwa unakuja pale unapokuwa na mwanamke ambaye ni fundi kwa bed, lakin ndugu zako wanamkataa wanakwambia huyo mwanamke hakufai*
*1 Ana dharau*
*2 Hajui kupika*
*3 Hana adabu kwa sisi ndugu zako*
*4 Mkorofi*
*5 Anavaa hovyo*
*Hapo jibu huwa ni moja* [emoji2][emoji2]
*NYIE HAMJUI TU...*[emoji3][emoji3]

Mambo ya Mabinti haya

Binti: Hallow mpenzi, Mambo

Jamaa: Poa baby

Binti:Uko wapi?

Jamaa: Niko town napata lunch

Binti: Wow unarudi saa ngap? Nina njaa dear naomba uniletee msosi

Jamaa: Narudi baada ya nusu saa nikuletee nini?

Binti: Niletee chipsi kuku, soseji, mayai manne ya kukaangwa pembeni, baga, piza, coke take away baridi, mkate wa moto kwenye ile bekari ya wapemba na maji ya kunywa ya kiimanjaro.

Jamaa:Umesahau viti, meza, masufuria, sahani na beseni na vijiko.[emoji16]

Binti: Kwanini dear?

Jamaa: Naona hutaki kula unataka kufungua hoteli[emoji34][emoji34]

UBAGUZI KWENYE FOLENI DAR.

Watu wenye magari makubwa kama VX V8 na Range Rover wanauziwa property magazine zenye taarifa za apartments na nyumba zinazouzwa.

Watu wenye gari ndogo kama IST, Probox, Vitz, Premio n.k. wanauziwa korosho, weipa, jumper cables na alfabeti za watoto.

Watu wa daladala wanauziwa sumu ya panya mende viroboto sisimizi na mitego ya panya, diamond karanga.

Wenda kwa miguu wanaletewa dili za dhahabu kwenye kichupa; au bahasha ya kaki unaambiwa ina hela mtu kadondosha; au smartphone kali unaambiwa lete elfu 30 tu [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

Kwa jinsi hali ilivyo ngumu ugali uliobaki leo usiku usiutupe, kesho asubuhi ongezea maji chemsha uji[emoji13] [emoji13] then mchana ongezea unga kwenye uji uwe ugali tena[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji119]

Fat girls are the most selfish people in the world.They will sit down with a mini-skirt and you will see nothing my brother,nothing!!!

This is how african people sweep their yard
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I was in town this morning when Japanese man approached me,"please......can you take?"he said handing me a camera.As he stood against the wall smilling....I got into a taxi and thought,"what a nice guy!!".

I bet you all haven't noticed that all people in the bible dont have surnames!

"Are you still angry?"
.
That's how 99% of African girls do apologise.