Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Mr Miller]

This morning, one cute girl was just staring at me, I was blushing ..... Until she came closer and said "Come,,,,, u look like one groundnut seller that ran away with my change"..........

I fainted[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

damn!!

 

[Mr Miller]

Leo nilikuwa nakunywa uji nikaona nzi ndani ya kikombe changu cha uji akiwa amekufa,nikasema ngoja niendelee kunywa uji ukipoa nitamtoa,sasa nimemaliza uji wote halafu simuoni nzi tena,nahisi atakuwa amepaa

umekula nzi wewee [emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Mr Miller]

[emoji12][emoji13][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Today is Jacob's birthday,

So his wife decided to surprise him, she took him to a Strip-Club House.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jacob! How are you? [emoji4]

WIFE: How does he know you? [emoji35]

Jacob: We play Golf together! [emoji26]

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jacob? [emoji4]

WIFE: And how does he know you? [emoji35]

Jacob: He's on the Bowling Team! [emoji27]

HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jacob?

The Wife storms out...... dragging jacob with her, into a taxi! [emoji36] [emoji596]

TAXI DRIVER: Hey jacob boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel? [emoji15][emoji15]

[emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]

Jacob's funeral will be this Friday at 12noon...

hahaha [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji125][emoji125][emoji125]

 

[Mr Miller]

I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go home.

this is very accurate!

 

[Sir Khan]

Msukuma ni nani?
Msukuma ni mtu anayepika ugali wa watu watatu halafu anaumaliza wote kwa kuonja tu.

 

[Sir Khan]

Mwalimu:taja wanyama kumi unaowajua
John:najua paka watatu na mbwa saba.

 

[Sir Khan]

hivi serikali mnaposema tuwe na vyeti vya kuzaliwa,inamaana hamuamini kuwa tulizaliwa?

 

[edwardbm]

Whenever i have a problem I just sing Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem. That gives me hope[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] I cant imagine

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[Light saber]

Kuna relationship zingine unaangalianga tu hivi unaona tu hii haita last long, Kwa mfano.... Mlevi na simu yake!!!

 

[Light saber]

Lakini ile siku nitapata girlfriend, hamtakaa kwa amani uku. I will be updating things like....." Breathing with bae".....

 

[Light saber]

Before you wear your torn underwear,bra and socks, ask yourself, "What if u faint?"

 

[Light saber]

Apart from you and your bae,Otile Brown and Vera sidika,,which other couples do you think they won't get married??

 

[Light saber]

Hidden Proverb: When bra is on...
(* *)
But When bra is off...
(U U)

 

[Light saber]

Having so many boyfriends doesn't mean you are beautiful, cheap product attracts many customers

 

[Light saber]

Make her laugh then ask for her number quickly before she remembers you're ugly

 

[Chiblak]

I found a guy today drinking his beer at 6:30 am.

I asked him: "Isn't it too early for you to be drinking ?"

He replied: "Ooh really, at what time do throats open ?"

‍♂I walked away...

Now minding my own business[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Hahahha just mind ya own bussines budda

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[Numbisa]

Research says that if you breath polluted air for long, your Intelligence diminishes,.. no wonder some of us forget to pay Rent...[emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Shing Yui]

*Tulikua kwenye basi tunaelekea arusha, ile namcheki dereva kumbe ni best yangu na basi ilikua kwenye spidi hatari,* *nikaenda kumziba macho nikamuuliza* otea mi ni nani, kabla hajanijibu nikasikia kishindo kikubwa sana
na sasa hivi nimezinduka naona abiria wote tupo wodi namba 3 hapa KCMC Moshi nafkiri stendi imehamishiwa huku sikuizi.
[emoji19][emoji19][emoji19][emoji19][emoji19]

*Akili zangu nazijua mwenyewe!!!*

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Kaizer]

Hahahaha nakuuza bure

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Usimuuze ila tumgawane[emoji41]

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[Kaizer]

I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go home.

Thats age hunting you already[emoji3] [emoji3]

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