hearly
JF-Expert Member
- Jun 19, 2014
- 45,678
- 63,304
HahaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaCAN'T STOP LAUGHING
A woman was having sex in an
apartment 20 floors high with
another
man.She then heard her husband
coming… she told her lover to stay
like
a robot and not to move.
Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have
sex with when you are travelling…
Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I
got
my period, so I will go and make a
cup
of coffee for you…
After she left the husband said:
Damn I
am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he
tried f*cking. The man started
talking in
a metallic robotic way…
“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE…
SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”
Husband: Damn robot is not working
properly…I am throwing it out of the
window…The man realized that he
was
on the 20th floor and said…
“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY
FUCKING
AGAIN.....
Hahahaaa " hahaaaa walimbandua "Mshkaji wangu ametangaza kuacha bhangi baada ya kuvuta na kupita kambi ya jeshi kijiti cha ukweli akaanza kuwaita wajeda nyinyi sio askari ni migambo flan tena sungusungu tu baada ya hapo hakumbuki kilitokea nini ila alijikuta hospital anamuona mama yake na dada yake .Mama akamwambia dada ameamka mpozee uji anywe jamaa akaropoka nimejifungua mtoto gani? bimkubwa wake akazimia
HahahahahahaaaMajambazi baada ya kuvamia na kufanikiwa kuiba ng'ombe wote si wakamchukua masai na kumfunga kamba kwenye mti kisha kuondoka zao.
Asubuhi palipokucha watu wakamuona masai kafungwa kamba si wakaenda kumfungua kisha kuanza kumpa pole.Nasai akajibu pole mpeni huyo ndama maana alidhani hii naniliu yangu ni chuchu ya mama yake yaani kainyonya usiku kucha kanipigisha bao 7 yaani hapa nilipo mwili wote unavuta.
HahahahahaaMfugaji mmoja alikwenda kwa mfugaji mwenzake (ambae pia ni bwana mifugo wa eneo lao) asubuhi moja. Alipobisha hodi mtoto wa kiume wa umri upatao miaka 12 akamfungulia mlango. Mazungumzo yafuatayo yakafuatia: Mkulima: Baba yako yupo? Mtoto: Hapana Mzee, amekwenda mjini. Mkulima: Mama yako? Mtoto: Nae kaenda mjini na baba. Mkulima: Kaka yako Howard yupo? Mtoto: Nae hayupo, wote yeye, baba na mama wamekwenda mjini. Kwani una shida gani? Kama kuna kitu unahitaji niambie maana nimeachiwa funguo na najua vifaa vinapowekwa. Mzee akawaza kidogo halafu akasema: Kwa kweli nilitaka kuongea na baba, mama au kaka yako kwa kuwa kaka yako amempa mimba binti yangu. Mtoto akafikiria kidogo halafu akasema: Kusema ukweli itabidi umsubirie baba, ila kwa kukusaidia ni kuwa baba hulipisha shilingi laki moja kwa kupandisha dume la ng'ombe na elfu hamsini kwa beberu. Ila sijui baba hutoza shilingi ngapi kwa Howard akifanikiwa kutia mimba. [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji23]
HahahahaaMsanii mmoja anaitwa ''KINYA'' alikuwa ana perfom jukwaan..!!! Kawaida kila msanii lazima ajitambulishe, mfano:- ''YEAH NI TEMBA hapa au YEAH NI CHEGE hapa…!!! Yeye akasema: "YEAH NIKINYA HAPA…!!!" Watu wakapiga kelele ''UTAZOAAA'' mwenyewe bwenge wee
HahahaaMtu anaweza vaa chupi hata ya Shs. 3,000 Ila kumvua sasa hiyo gharama yake [emoji28][emoji28][emoji28] Kuna chips Kuna kuku Kuna castle light kama sio savana Kuna bajaj Kuna hotel Ukipiga gharama zake unanunua pikipiki mpyaaa [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
HahahaaJana nilipanda daladala nikapata seat nikaketi, nikawa nimejiachia ninachati kwenye simu yangu(Smart phone), kukawa na jamaa kasimama pembeni yangu, ye hakupata seat. Sasa akawa anasoma message zangu bila aibu yani anafutilia ninavyochati… Basi nikasema ngoja nimtie Adabu mshenzi huyu…. Nikacheck saa yangu yamkononi kisha nikatext: "Oya Ben Kwaheri bwana, zimebaki sekunde 30 tu hili bomu[emoji378] lilipuke… najua hatutaonana tena, nitunzie Familia yangu, wambie nawapenda sana…" Yule jamaa akajirusha dirishani……[emoji23][emoji28]
My English has improved please beat your hands [emoji122] for me [emoji16] [emoji16]
Wenge tu la kichapo
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]Katika kikao cha familia, kichaa wa hiyo familia alisimama kabla wengine hawajaongea nakusema: nashangaa kuona hali ya familia yetu,naona kama inalaaniwa mana katika familia hakuna hata mbunge,askari, mwanamuziki; yaani mimi mwenyewe nisingekazana hata kichaa asingekuepo[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] kikao kiliishia hapo mana kila mtu aliondoka