Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

MKE-hili jiji letu siku hizi
linawasichana wazur jaman
MME-wabaya watoke wapi wakati tulishawaoa

Mke naona amebeba furushi nadhani atakua ameenda kufua[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Duuh [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Naomba iwe ya series iendelee puliziiiii umenivunja mbavu mno
 
Wanawake bana
Utasikia wanasema nataka mwanaume ambaye atanilinda na kunijali, halafu akitongozwa na mlinzi anakataa [emoji121] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]
 
Ni muda wa saa 8 usiku chumbani kwa dereva bodaboda naskia kelele, kwenda kujua kulikoni nikamkuta dereva wa bodaboda analalamika kuwa nyumba ina mashetani, ikabidi nimuulize yule dereva wa bodaboda amejuaje kuwa kuna mashetani, ndipo akaniambia kuwa alikwenda kuoga lakini cha ajabu maji hayafiki mwilini, kumcheki kichwani kumbe amesahau kuvua helmet[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji125]
Bangi [emoji377] [emoji377] na njaa kweli haviendani[emoji23] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125]
 
Baba katoka kuoga kapita sebuleni taulo likamdondoka, wakati kuna mwanawe wa kiume wa miaka kumi, baba kwa hamaki akamwambia mwanawe "Fumba macho!" mtoto akajibu sitaki, baba akauliza "kwa nini hutaki!" mtoto akajibu "natizama maandazi na uji"
[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji121] [emoji121] [emoji121]
Maandazi=mambupu
Uji=dushe[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125] [emoji377] [emoji377]
 
Niliingia kwenye choo cha uma mahali fulani, wakati naendelea na kukata gogo, nikasikia sauti kwenye choo cha jirani yangu akisema " halo, mambo vipi", kwa sauti ya kukereka nikajibu "niko poa" naye akaendelea kuongea "unafanya nini? Nikajibu "nafanya kile unachokifanya wewe", akaendelea "naweza kuja hapo", kwa hasira nikajibu "hapana, usije nipo bize sana kwa sasa" sauti hiyo ya choo cha jirani yangu ikasema "mshikaji ee nitakupigia baadaye, kuna mpuuzi mmoja mlango unaofuata anajibu maswali yangu yote, hatuelewani,,,,, hapo ndipo utakapojua kiherehere maana yake nini
 
*Mume amempigia simu mtalaka wake ataka warudiane*

Mume : Nisamehe naomba turudiane
Mke : Una kikombe hapo?
Mume : No! Kwanini?
Mke : Kachukue kikombe jikoni
Mume : Sawa nishaenda chakua, Sema...
Mke : Kibwage kuanzia juu mpaka chini...
Mume : Eeh! Haya tayari
Mke : Kimevunjika sio!!... Sasa kirudishe kilivokua...
Mume : No, hakijavunjika, nilichukua cha plastic...
Mke : Muone vile!!!.. wewe mwanaume mkorofi sana, haya njoo unichukue[emoji28][emoji28][emoji28]

MAKOFI KWETU WANAUME POPOTE TULIPO[emoji122][emoji122][emoji122]
 
Sasa Hivi Hata Yale Magari Ya Kuvuta Mavi Wanalia Njaa, Wanasema Biashara Ngumu.
Na Ukiangalia Ni Kweli Kwa Sababu Mtu Anakula Chips Kavu Na Soda; Ni Lini Choo Kitajaa?[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 
Rafik angu kachora tatoo ya jina la dem wake juzi... leo kaskia dem wake anaolewa nipo nae apa tunasubiri pasi ipate moto...

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Hahahaaa[emoji28] [emoji28] [emoji28] [emoji28] watu kweli wana maneno
 
[emoji28] [emoji28] [emoji28] [emoji28] leo navunjika mbavuuu
 
Kuna watu wana mambo ya ajabu sana[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Jamaa kachora tatoo ya kwenye dushe, likisinyaa inasomeka AIDS, dushe likinyanyuka inasomeka ADIDAS[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Kweli [emoji377] [emoji377] mbaya
 
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
_Wivu ukizidi.._

_Guy: babe Uko wapi?_

_Babe: nipo church luv!!_

_Guy: mpe Yesu Simu......._ ..[emoji15][emoji15][emoji849][emoji849][emoji848][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Hii imekaa poa saana
 
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