Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Freyzem]

Ukihonga elfu kumi kumbuka yafuatayo
1. Ni bei ya sato kilo moja
2. Kuku wa nyama mmoja
3.kilo 2 za nyama ya ng'ombe
4.Sukari kilo 3
5. Donna kilo 4
6. Mchele kilo 4 super kabisa
7. Maziwa ya ng'ombe lita 4
8. Soda yake away 10
9. Castle lite 4
10. Petrol lita 5
11, nauli ya safari 13 za
Mwendo kasi
12. Chocolote ivory dogo 20
13. Mayai tray moja kizungu
14. Nauli na kiingilio cha mechi ya simba na yanga

Unaweza ongezea [emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]

 

[Bailly5]

Napenda sana wanawake wenye mizigo mikubwa.......


Coz ukienda kuwapokea lazima wakupe hata jero ya soda

wewe waza tu ujinga

[emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2] [emoji2] mawazo haya

 

[stable woman]

SWALI LA KIZUSHI

kwanini NYUMBA YA NYASI haina CHOO CHA KUFLASH,!!?[emoji1321]

Choo cha ndani au cha nje?

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[Freyzem]

 

[stickvibration]

*Nakukumbusha tu kuwa ukihonga elfu kumi kumbuka yafuatayo*

*1.* Ni bei ya sato kilo moja

*2.* Kuku wa nyama mmoja

*3.*kilo 2 za nyama ya ng'ombe

*4.*Sukari kilo 3

*5*. Donna kilo 4

*6.* Mchele kilo 4 super kabisa

*7.* Maziwa ya ng'ombe lita 4

*8.* Soda take away 10

*9.* Castle lite 4

*10.* Petrol lita 5

*11* nauli ya safari 13 za Mwendo kasi

*12.* Chocolote ivory
dogo 20

*13*. Mayai tray moja kizungu

*14*. Nauli na kiingilio cha mechi ya simba na yanga

*Endelea kuhonga....*

 

[stickvibration]

Mwalimu aliingia darasani na kuwauliza wanafunzi juu ya ndoto zao za baadae.

MWAL: John we unataka ukiwa mkubwa uwe nani?

JOHN: Nataka niwe daktari wa moyo niwasaidie watanzania wanaougua magonjwa ya moyo.

MWAL: Vizuri. Na wewe Rose unataka kuwa nani?

ROSE: Nataka kuwa rubani, niweze kusaidia watu wanaopenda kusafiri kwa anga.

MWAL: Safi sana Rose. Utakua mfano kwa wasichana wenzio kuwa na bidii kwenye masomo ya sayansi.

MWAL: Na wewe KIBORWA??

KIBORWA: "Mimi nataka kuwa tajiri mkubwa sana. Niwe na nyumba Tanzania, S.Africa, Marekani na Dubai. Niwe na gari 7 za kutembelea. Kila siku nabadilisha. Leo nikipanda hii, siirudii hadi week iishe. Nataka niwe namiliki viwanda, Makampuni, ndege binafsi na mashamba makubwa. Nataka niwe na nguvu serikalini ya kuamua nani awe Rais na nani asiwe......"

Akameza mate kisha akaendelea....!

"Nataka kuwa na walinzi 20 wenye silaha nzito wakinizunguka, na watumishi wakininyenyekea. Nataka kuwa bilionea ninayeogopwa. Lakini pia nataka kuwa na mke mzuuuri sana ambaye nitakuwa natembea nae kila mahali."

MWAL: Ndoto nzuri sana lakini unahitaji bidii sana kutimiza. Haya na wewe Clara tueleze unataka kuwa nani??.

CLARA: Nataka kuwa mke wa KIBORWA...!!
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Ebu kisia CLARA ni kabila gani?

 

[Beberu]

Clara itakuwa mchaga

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[reymumy]

[emoji3]

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[Elak]

 

[Aneel munawar]

WANASEMA OOH BANGI INA MADHARA...MBONA NMEVUTA ZANGU PAFU MBILI NA NIKO FITI KABISAA..NA XAIVI "NMEKAA KWENYE TV NAANGALIA ZANGU MAKOCHI"


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[lokasa girl]

upuuuzi

Huyu nae

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[Foxhound]

"Amini usiamini"
Kipindi niko shule, one day mwalimu wa dini kaingia darasani na kuniuliza
Mwalimu: Ali, taja daraja tano za pepo
Mimi: 1daraja la mto wami
2 daraja la mkapa
3 daraja la ruvu
4 daraja la kawe
5. darajani Zanzibar
Nikaitwa kwa headmaster na kupewa barua niipeleke kwa wazazi wangu. Ile barua niliichana njiani na nilipofika home nikamweleza baba kuwa nimefukuzwa masjid na imamu amesema niende na mzee wangu, eti kisa hanioni masjid[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Vijana bangi ni mbaya, ila tuacheni sisi tulioianza kuvuta tangu utotoni tuendelee nyie vijana ndio maana mnawehuka

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[baba bora]

 

[baba bora]

 

[baba bora]

 

[Freyzem]

NAKIOGOPA SANA KIINGEREZA!

Jamaa kaamua kujikongoja kuandika kiingereza kwenye ukurasa wake wa Facebook kuwaalika marafiki zake kwenye sherehe yake ya kuzaliwa :,

Today is I am birthday, I am invitation you.
I hope you will come to eat my house because one day I will eat your house too.
I am going to die three cows, two girls and one boy. I will ask my father to cook my mother.
See you all [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23].HAPO NDIO UTAJUA WALIOKOSEA KUANDIKA NGAO YA JAMII HAWAJAFANYA MAKUSUDI.[emoji15][emoji24][emoji16]

 

[New City]

Lestorofio Gone misto Ghazwat lebrosonfito magreato demito [emoji16] [emoji16] [emoji4] [emoji4]

Mwenyewe..!!! Hahaaaaahh...!!!

 

[stickvibration]

Wives are Legends.....[emoji15]

Mfungwa mmoja alifanikiwa kutoroka jela baada ya miaka kumi na mbili, akapenyapenya mitaani hadi akafika nyumbani. Alipofika akagonga, Mkewe akafungua mlango, kitu cha kwanza kumuuliza.. "Kwenye TV wametangaza umetoroka jela kutoka asubuhi, saa hii ni jioni utanieleaza huo muda wote ulikuwa wapi?....

Jamaa aliamua kurudi jela
[emoji3][emoji3]

 

[tukulu]

I see numbers in front of people

Nothing straight from crooked timber of humanity can be done

 

[Bravo320]

No 3, is wonderful. ..

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