Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Kwenu wadada: Kuendelea kuweka picha za boyfriend wenu kwenye profile zenu whatsapp hakutuzuii sisi wanaume kuwatongoza, kwani hata hela za Tanzania zina picha ya Nyerere lakini hadi vyama vya upinzani wanatumia[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]
 
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A drunk man was struggling to open his room door with his key...as he staggered left & right.His neighbour asked him: "Sir can I help to open the door?"
Drunk: "don't worry yourself. Just help me hold the house straight,I will be able to open the door![emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Ushawai kuwa unatembea njiani kwa raha zako ukicheki status za marafiki,ndugu whatsaap halafu nyuma unaskia honi inapigwaa kugeuka unakuta Range Rover, unaipisha na kutembea hadi mwisho wa njia, halafu kavits kanapita na moshi nyuma...

Naskianga kukafuata nikaekelee teke kaanguke
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
What is KISIRANI?
KISIRANI is when you give a beautiful girl a lift
and she faints in your car. You take her to the
hospital and when you get there, the doctor says
she's pregnant and congratulates you that you are
going to be father very soon. You then shout that
you are not the father and the girl says you are the
father....
Things are now getting KISIRANIFUL. You require a
DNA test to prove you are not the father...
Things are now getting KISIRANISTIC when the doctor
comes with the result saying you cannot be a father
because you are infertile... You are relieved, but on
your way home you remember you are married with
three kids at home!...
Now you are extremely KISIRANIOUS.
Now, you begin to ask yourself who is the father of
those kids... You get home to find out that the
gateman is their real father. You are now
KISIRANED.
You decided to travel home to complain to your
mother about the latest development.. And your
mum with tears running down her cheeks tells you,
my son, I'm so sorry your dad ain't really your dad...
Then you know that things are now KISIRANICATED
And if u dont laugh you are KISIRANILISIOUS
[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]
 
Iv umewai kuisi njaa af huna ela ya kununua chakula..

Kwa bahati unabahatika kupata buku mbili ya kula tena jion kabisa kwa kua tangu pakuche ujagusa kitu akili inakua kama kuchanganyikiwa kutokana na kubahatika siku hyo..

Bahati mbaya au nzur ukiwa njian unakutana na wale jamaa wanaouza dawa za kienyeji

Bila kujua unajikuta umenunua dawa ya kukuongezea hamu ya kula af ndio huna ela nyingine tena...

Hapo ndio unapogundua uchawi kweli upo!
 
alibakari said:
What is KISIRANI?
KISIRANI is when you give a beautiful girl a lift
and she faints in your car. You take her to the
hospital and when you get there, the doctor says
she's pregnant and congratulates you that you are
going to be father very soon. You then shout that
you are not the father and the girl says you are the
father....
Things are now getting KISIRANIFUL. You require a
DNA test to prove you are not the father...
Things are now getting KISIRANISTIC when the doctor
comes with the result saying you cannot be a father
because you are infertile... You are relieved, but on
your way home you remember you are married with
three kids at home!...
Now you are extremely KISIRANIOUS.
Now, you begin to ask yourself who is the father of
those kids... You get home to find out that the
gateman is their real father. You are now
KISIRANED.
You decided to travel home to complain to your
mother about the latest development.. And your
mum with tears running down her cheeks tells you,
my son, I'm so sorry your dad ain't really your dad...
Then you know that things are now KISIRANICATED
And if u dont laugh you are KISIRANILISIOUS
[emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]
Click to expand...
Hahaaaaa
 
harder king said:
Iv umewai kuisi njaa af huna ela ya kununua chakula..

Kwa bahati unabahatika kupata buku mbili ya kula tena jion kabisa kwa kua tangu pakuche ujagusa kitu akili inakua kama kuchanganyikiwa kutokana na kubahatika siku hyo..

Bahati mbaya au nzur ukiwa njian unakutana na wale jamaa wanaouza dawa za kienyeji

Bila kujua unajikuta umenunua dawa ya kukuongezea hamu ya kula af ndio huna ela nyingine tena...

Hapo ndio unapogundua uchawi kweli upo!
Click to expand...
Hahaaa
 
alibakari said:
Yaani huu umri niliofikia nilifikiri nimeona yote ya duniani kumbe looh bado kabisaa leo si nimekutana na msukuma kachora tattoo ya M-PESA [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]
Click to expand...
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125]
 
Numbisa said:
Ushawai kuwa unatembea njiani kwa raha zako ukicheki status za marafiki,ndugu whatsaap halafu nyuma unaskia honi inapigwaa kugeuka unakuta Range Rover, unaipisha na kutembea hadi mwisho wa njia, halafu kavits kanapita na moshi nyuma...

Naskianga kukafuata nikaekelee teke kaanguke
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Click to expand...
[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji28] [emoji125]
 
Kipanga boy said:
Nyani mmoja alichoka kuishi akaamua kufa, aliwaza mbinu za kujiua kujinyonga hana kamba kujichinja hana kisu na sumu hana. Akawa anazunguka kwa huzuni kubwa basi akamuona simba kalala akaamua amchokoze simba ili aliwe kwa hasira akamuingizia dole la nguvu matakoni simba akashtuka na kutabasam nyani akazimia kwa woga alipozinduka simba akamwambia rudia tena
Click to expand...
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WAFU wawili walikuwa wakipiga story huko...r.i.p
Mfu 1😱y
mfu 2😱yo
mfu 1:mwenzangu ulikufaje?
mfu2:story ndefu,kwa kifupi niliingia kwenye friji ikajiloki nikakosa hewa nikaganda nikafa!
mfu 1:duh inasikitisha
mfu 2:we ulikufaje?
mfu 1:mshtuko wa moyo
mfu 2;tobaaaa,chamno?
mfu 1;nilirud nyumban ghafla nikakuta viatu vya mwanaume sebuleni,na vile wife alivokuwa na waswas nikajua kuna mwanaume ndani,nikazunguka nyumba nzima chumbani choon bafuni jikoni,lakini ckumuona,nikapatwa na mshtuko wa moyo nikafa!
mfu 2:ayaaaaaa ungefungua friji tungekuwa hai wote leo!!
 
kwa jinsi maisha ya Tanzania yalivyo hakuna haja ya kuweka alarm eti ikuamshe wakati shida zako tu ni alarm tosha kabisa

[HASHTAG]#WapostPumba[/HASHTAG]​
 
alibakari said:
Ukichanganya maji ya limao vijiko vitatu, unga wa muhogo nusu kijiko cha chai, maganda ya karanga mbichi zile nyekundu, majivu ya ndizi mshale zilizochomwa, mafuta ya mkia wa kondoo, unga wa njiti za viberiti, robo kikombe cha mkia wa pweza, na tui la nazi, unavyosoma kwa makini..... [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] mi hata sijui ukichanganya unapata nini, we endelea tu usiwaze ujinga! [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji13] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji124] [emoji125] [emoji125]
Click to expand...
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MAZUNGUMZO MAFUPI DUNIANI KWA MTU ALIEKUWA CHOONI NA MTU ANAETAKA KUINGIA CHOONI HUWA HIVI:
wewe: [emoji17] haaaah.
Anaetaka kuingia chooni: heeeeh kumbe kuna mtu.

NIMEMALIZA [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]♂‍[emoji1493]♂‍[emoji1493]♂‍[emoji1493]♂‍[emoji1493]
 
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