Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Numbisa]

When your are in Bed with Bae and You so wanna play with her hair.....
But it's on the dressing table [emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F and G are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed!
{A} - Almost Boobs...
{B} - Barely there.
{C} - Can't Complain!
{D} - Damn!
{DD} - Double damn!
{E} - Enormous!
{F}- Fake
{G} - GEEEEzus Christ!

Am finished[emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Dear men, not all girls want sex in a relationship. Some want brain to support their dreams, so polish your brain than your face.

 

[Numbisa]

aaaaah, hii kazi ya kuwa rubani inachosha. Imagine Jana nimempeleka Messi kwao hata kabla sijafika naona christiano ananiflash nae nimpeleke. Saa huu nipo naongea hivi Niko na kina Diego Costa nawarudisha home chicharito aka ni text last night not to leave him behind. niko hewani mara ndo hao akina kagawa yoshida yoshimoto kumamoto matako patashika akishuta pananuka from Japan wananambia nisubiri
I give up[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

*Looku Looku*

*Ukimchoka mkeo, waweza kumtaftia sababu za kumuacha kama hizi*
_________
1. *Missed calls 16? Umeua betri la simu yangu. Kwa hiyo hata mimi unaweza kuniua... It's Over!!!*
_
2. *Hata hunieshimu. Mi naongea na wewe lakini we upo bize unavuta pumzi? It's over!*
_
3. *Nimekupigia umepokea simu hapohapo. Huna subira. It’s over!!*
_
4. *Nilikwambia huwa napenda chakula cha moto lakini hujanipashia ice cream. Hunijali. It's over!*
_
5. *Nimekupa mayai mawili, moja uchemshe jingine ukaange. We umekaanga ambalo ulitakiwa kuchemsha na umechemsha ulilotakiwa kukaanga. Huniheshimu, It’s over!*
_
6. *Nimekuita DARLING na wewe ukaniita HONEY. Yani kwa maana nyingine unamuita mama yangu NYUKI. Huheshimu wazazi wangu, fungasha kilicho chako. its over.*

 

[Numbisa]

Remember growing up saying "I want to be a pilot" 20 years later the only thing you do related to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.[emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

My brother, my sister stop calling your phone when you lose it,u are disturbing it's new owner[emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

We thought 3G was fast, then we got a much faster 4G then started complaining about data consumption rate. Wait until we get the 5G.. We all gonna go bankrupt [emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Tumosa]

*Looku Looku*

*Ukimchoka mkeo, waweza kumtaftia sababu za kumuacha kama hizi*
_________
1. *Missed calls 16? Umeua betri la simu yangu. Kwa hiyo hata mimi unaweza kuniua... It's Over!!!*
_
2. *Hata hunieshimu. Mi naongea na wewe lakini we upo bize unavuta pumzi? It's over!*
_
3. *Nimekupigia umepokea simu hapohapo. Huna subira. It’s over!!*
_
4. *Nilikwambia huwa napenda chakula cha moto lakini hujanipashia ice cream. Hunijali. It's over!*
_
5. *Nimekupa mayai mawili, moja uchemshe jingine ukaange. We umekaanga ambalo ulitakiwa kuchemsha na umechemsha ulilotakiwa kukaanga. Huniheshimu, It’s over!*
_
6. *Nimekuita DARLING na wewe ukaniita HONEY. Yani kwa maana nyingine unamuita mama yangu NYUKI. Huheshimu wazazi wangu, fungasha kilicho chako. its over.*

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji119] [emoji119]

 

[toroka uje mjini]

*Hakuna kitu chenye sauti kubwa hapa Duniani kama mfuniko wa sufuria ukidondoka wakati unadokoa nyama[emoji3][emoji3]

 

[Numbisa]

During the shooting of a movie.
DIRECTOR: Now we are going to release the lion and it will chase you. But don't worry it wont bite you.
MUSA: How sure are you?
DIRECTOR: It is written in the script.
MUSA: Has the lion read the script?[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Don't be shy or afraid to accept money/Airtime from your Ex its your pension money[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Ulweso]

Ukitembea na demu mweusi halafu mwembamba, ukiwa umemshika mkono utasema umeshika waya wa USB[emoji23][emoji23]

Duu aisee

 

[Ulweso]

Hivi sisi waafrika, ni mchezo gani mwingine ambao tukishiriki katika level ya kimataifa tunaweka heshima !? Ukiacha Soka?

kuoa wake wengi na kuwa na michepuko mingi

 

[Said Mshana]

Hahaha nimecheka mieee

 

[Numbisa]

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use 3 fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up & down.

Yep, that's how you gotta wash a cup.

 

[Numbisa]

 

[Numbisa]

a real man should bath 3 times a day,,,, Asibuhi macho, lunch mikono usiku miguu,,, are we together?

 

[Numbisa]

Unakumbuka ile siku ulifanya sex bila kinga, ghafla unaanza kuona vitu vya ajabu kiasi kwamba hata plate number za magari unaziona hivi..
T456HIV
T765STD
T123ARV
T484DIE